T h i r t y T h r e e

S a f e h o u s e

When the flames turned into smoke and ashes, we were already on the move.

I cradled him by my side, checking the patched up wound on his abdomen as Giovanni drove. The sandy wasteland was all I could see as well as the bright lit sky from the millions of stars and the moon itself.

I could not face to see his face.

I barred my teeth and took deep breaths, trying all my might to not take the gun from my pocket and point it at his direction.

However, something inside me fought and I controlled my urge to make more red on my hands.

I was confused. Angry. Devastated. Embarrassed. Humiliated.

How could I have not known...that the very person who understood what I've been through: was very much in a similar situation?

How could I let it slip?

Instead: he was supposed to be my enemy.

"Stop it."

I turned to find my uncle's face. He looked at me with a pained look.

I quietly replied, "Stop what."

"Thinking." Will breathed out.

"I can't can I." I muttered, brushing his hair from his face. He was laid across the back seat of the car, his head on my lap. "She'll come back." I mentioned, knowing very well I wasn't talking about the woman who I killed just moments before.

"She's dead, [Y/N]."

'No, she'll never be able to die.' I thought in my head.

Between the two of us: I had live. But I lost.

____

We crossed into Europe in a few days, in which Will had stopped bleeding every few hours. However, the fever had hit him hard after days of feeling normal. We knew it was dangerous to head into a public hospital, not when we had George in our hands with handcuffs and most of Matthews' connections at our backs.

I made sure to contact our safe houses, those that helped us whenever we were in need of assistance during missions. Giovanni and I made sure to take turns, risking our position to get resources in crowded areas. That meant markets and cities.

The best way was the hide in plain sight until we get some contact from British Intelligence.

We sat in trains and buses and cars for weeks. I had known it was already September. Three months away already.

George stayed quiet for most of the time.

It was almost like a mutual agreement between him and the four of us. He would stay quiet until we return to British soil whilst we wouldn't lay a hand on him. Clearly it was more stated to my end as my body had automatically kept handling the gun and knives in my pockets whenever he spoke.

But those months of travelling gave me time.

It gave me the time to think ahead of what happened. Why it happened. From my view, George Kingston (or whoever he was), was my friend. He grew up in Bristol, with a sister and a family that treated him unkindly by who he preferred to love. He told me this when we first met, and it was all true when I met them.

His family was uptight and snobby. Fancy cars and fancy rings. His sister was confined by a wheelchair after an accident, leading her life to live with her parents. She was similar to George than either of their parents, kind, snarky and intelligent. I could tell from the way she spoke about her job.

But sometimes George wasn't like his family - though it was a little late to realise.

Maybe that was a lie too.

When I looked across me to the other seat on the train, I spotted myself sitting down. Darker Me pursed her lips and simply spoke, "So you finally realised."

Sighing, I turned away. I didn't want to see myself. "Why are you here?" I tiredly asked.

"Well," She began. "You called me."

"I never would."

"I never said you'd know," Darker Me cheekily replied and I grunted. "Did you ever had a choice whether I was here or not."

I snapped back, "Yes."

She laughed, letting me flare my nostrils. I need to control myself. Her eyes danced everywhere as she sang, "Oh darling, my darling. Did you forget our little conversation a year ago? The one you feared so much to see?"

The flashback of my lifeless body past my brain and I quickly shook away the image. I glowered back, "Stop."

"I'm you, [Y/N]." Darker Me plainly said. "Why don't you tell yourself to stop."

"I have," My voice grew louder. "But every fucking time I try you're always there! Always! Can't you see I'm done with you? I don't need you. I've got what I deserved."

"Stop lying to yourself." She scoffed. "Deserve it? Yes. But there's always something left. You're unsatisfied. You want to finish the job. Finish what he started, what you ended-"

Resting my head against the window, I let her babble on. It was the worse idea possible, though I was too tired to get rid of my thoughts beginning to swirl. Once I got tired of her presence, I told her to leave. She scoffed and stood up.

I glared, "I don't need you. You already know who I really am."

"And that makes even better," She grinned.

I shut my eyes and concentrated. When I looked again - she had disappeared. Thinking about the darker side of me already took the toll of my mind even more.

____

We drove through the countryside, the smooth road making the journey calm as we made it towards the last safe house. Once I spotted the large countryside home come into view, I rolled across the gravel pathway and slowed down at the entrance.

I could here only silence, apart from the tyres hitting the ground and the clucking of chickens from the farm at the back. I turned of the ignition, letting my hands rest on the door handle for a second to breathe.

This wasn't what I wanted. But I had no choice but to see him.

We took off with a swift motion, letting Marino take Will by the arm as I took George's cuffed arms and legs beside me. I kept a straight face, roaming my eyes over the bright blue house in front of us, the blades of the windmill popping out behind-

The door opened, and I found Rick Van Laanen's face gaping back at me...

...Or mostly at George.

It took him five seconds to realise Will's state and gestured for us to come in.

Giovanni thanked him. "I appreciate this, Rick. We couldn't contact anyone else that's nearby."

Rick shook his head and waved it off, saying that he was just back after work. I caught George's expression morph from surprise and he hid it quickly once he hovered in the shadows.

I then felt a pair of eyes stare back at me and I turned away, helping Will head into the other room. Rick's mind was practically shouting in shock.

So I spoke aloud, "You know what to do Rick."

I finally eyed him, nodding curtly before continuing with Will. I settled him down on the armchair, hearing him wince. Clutching his stomach, I knelt in front of him.

His face was still pale and sickly, and the dark circles under his eyes told me that he'd been struggling to sleep. As he leaned back, I placed my hand onto his. Will looked at me and smiled.

I said softly, "The doctor will be here as soon as possible."

The last part, I almost wavered my words - trying to repeat the thought that it was going to be alright. My uncle was going to be alright.

"Thank you, dear niece," Will murmured. "But I believe you shouldn't be worrying about me this much-"

"[Y/N]?"

There was a knock on the door. I turned my head to find Giovanni at the door. I stood up and asked him what was wrong.

He then gestured over, to find a man standing by the door way. I shook the doctor's hand and helped him get through. As I watched my uncle being treated, I found the shadow down the hall over looking at both me and Giovanni.

Instead, I said quietly. "I still don't know, Marino."

"I know," Giovanni replied. "You've had three months to think this through."

I hummed, tapping my fingers onto the door frame - trying my hardest to forget that I would have to choose what I was going to do with George Kingston.

____

Zylus' family was away for work, allowing us to stay for a few days until Will was ready to fly back to London.

The make-shift operation that included a doctor and two nurses in Zylus' living room had gone well to what I saw. Will was back in pain, but was lucky to get anesthesia during it. Meanwhile, I tried to keep my mind occupied, walking out in the open area around me.

The Netherlands was beautiful, and took my back - remembering my hardest of my childhood home. Though no matter what, I assumed there would always be a gap in my memories. Or memories that I have made up to make my life ordinary as possible.

The time spent traveling gave me time to think again. Susan Matthews. George Kingston. The Ravens. My father.

Does George know what really happened to my father?

And if so: how would I ever ask him after what he had done?

As the night commenced, Zylus and I finally got to talk to each other, asking him what happened after I left. And to conclude, quite a lot.

The office was wondering where George and I went to, with only Turps telling them that George had gone to his family whilst I was away because a family member had fallen ill.

A wave of guilt came at me and I quickly hid it well once I told him I was heading to bed.

____

A few hours in, I heard something move.

The room I slept was pitch black, but once I opened my eyes I felt a waft of an odd scent, I rolled out bed in one quick motion.

I felt their arm wave across the side of the bed, missing me as I heard a thump. I took knife that I slept with and took my stance.

I could not see a thing, and as I tried to turn - a fist went straight into my face.

I fell back, flipping back up to my feet - feeling the pump of my blood surge onto my cheek and felt my bones ache.

Their hands grabbed onto my neck and I heaved, shaking my body and clawing at their hands. It must have been a large man despite their stealth as their head somehow had to look done.

Taking a breath through my nostril, all I could was stab him right in his abdomen.

He gasped in shock as I bit down onto his hand. Once he let go, I coughed up the air before pushing him up against the bed and took hold of him.

Both of us struggled, and I quickly pushed him away, slamming him up at the wall once more.

Suddenly, the lights went on.

And right in front of me was a man. One of the men that was at the charity ball.

Remembering was a flaw, as I tried to remember his face - he kicked me and felt the air in my lungs escape. He shoved me straight through the doorway, a loud thump echoing the walls.

I knead him between the legs, before grabbing the knife that I dropped. He quickly knew what I was doing and stepped onto my hand.

Then, I felt a fire surge up across my body. The sound of bone cracking as his feet crushed my right hand.

I groaned in pain, glowering at his scowl.

I swiped my legs and scissored them across. As he lost his balance, he took me with him.

I shut my eyes and felt the two of us fall down the staircase.

My left hand grabbed his head and climbed onto him, wrapping my legs between his head and took my right arm across his neck.

Before I knew, I realised he flipped me over his body, sending me onto the floor.

The pain was beginning to be unbearable. My whole body felt as if it was on fire. I tried to get up, but my hand could not push me up enough.

Then, I could feel myself being pulled up, the man's hand carrying me by the sides of my arms. I could still see the red stain on his shirt.

I then felt something slice through me.

I hissed, and tensed.

"Time to finish what we started-"

As the words left his lifts, I heard him growl in pain. His hands let go of me and I quickly squirmed away and grabbed the nearby lamp on the table.

Right in front of me was not just the man.

George was there - a dagger in his hands, and blood dripping from the blade.

He tackled George first, trying to kick his groin. He went for a punch and George threw him over, letting my stomp over his nose. I heard a large crack and a howl before slamming the lamp I had over his head.

After a large crash of glass, I only heard heavy breaths from between me and George.

The man's eyes did not move.

His chest had not risen.

I then glanced at George, a mixture of emotions filling my head.

He had just saved my life.

All of a sudden, the adrenaline had disappeared - allowing me to remember the broken hand and leg. My vision blurred, seeing the red on me before I felt the world fade away.

"[Y/N]!"

____

Waking up was painful.

My face was bruised up, and I expected it to be purple on one side if. I opened my eyes and found myself back in the same bed.

And Zylus at the foot of the bed, his eyes on a book in his hands.

He hadn't noticed me awake, so I tried to speak. With a dry throat, I coughed - remembering the pain when the man's hands were around them.

Eyes looking at me with relief and happiness, I whispered, "Water...please..."

Shutting the book, he got up - feeling the bed bounce back up as he took the glass of water by the bed. He helped me sit up, taking in the water hungrily.

"What time is it," I asked him?

"Just turned ten," Zylus stated.

He looked at his watch and eyed the door.

I spoke back, "It's okay."

He didn't seemed convinced by the expression he wore but I rolled my eyes.

Zylus nodded, "Alright." He glanced from the door and back to me. "But just so you know; do be careful of your leg."

Marino must have stitched it up, as he was the only decent one good at it.

Before he left, I asked him to leave my dagger and a glass of water on the side of my table.

Zylus shook his head and smiled. "Always paranoid, [Y/N]."

"I almost got killed last night, Rick." I replied with a croaky voice. "You know me well enough."

But he returned a simple reply back, "Enough it is."

He turned back to catch my eye, a small smile on his lips before he disappeared from the door.

Once he did, I stayed still for a few seconds. Casting my eye towards my surroundings. There was a dent in the wall and some red stains. I should probably get it cleaned for him, or at least give him the money to get it cleaned up before anyone else came round. I removed the duvet on top of me, seeing the patchwork Giovanni had done. There was the familiar wince of pain as I slid to my side and sat up.

Just as I was about to move off the bed, I heard a knock on the door.

George's head peeked in.

I gestured him to enter and he obliged - awkwardly taking slow steps towards me.

He had looked less disheveled than last night, his hair washed and his clothes cleaned. He seemed more wary at me than the surroundings, making me edge towards the dagger on my left side. Until I realised what I was doing, I let my hand hover to the glass instead. My eyes never left his.

For a few seconds, none of us said a word. I wasn't sure what to say. There was a feeling of anger. The same emotion boiling in my veins at what he had done. His betrayal. But what had happened last night, had said something completely different.

"Sit." I ordered him, and pointed at the wooden chair beside the door.

Reluctantly, he pulled it over and sat down, catching myself pull back the glass and take a sip.

He stayed quiet.

I said, "Why did you come here."

"To see if you're alright," George spoke, neither fear or anger in his voice. "Zylus just left you, so I assumed you were awake."

"He went off to record something," I explained. My hands tapped against the side of the glass before looking over to the window. There was a gentle breeze coming through, a lot colder than I had imagined.

Autumn had come already.

I then asked, "Why."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't understand-"

"Why did you save me?" I questioned him, feeling the tightness in my chest relieve itself.

His eyes widened slightly, and he took a breath.

I waited.

"Because..." He began. "You're not what I thought you were."

A bitter snark tried to escape my lips, but I calmly replied, "And what was that? Something that your partner had said? Or what the KGB said?"

"They found me, you know."

I didn't respond.

George paused, but began explaining: "I was only seven, I think. KGB wanted someone new, a new rank. Not all Ravens were programmed to know the code. I was designed to spy, to watch over targets. We were trained to be silent, to immerse ourselves into the world with a character that could let us through to anyone."

His eyes darted over to the wall and continued. "And so I was trained for a few years. I didn't have anyone, no family, no friends. I wasn't the best as well. They thought I wasn't good enough, stood out from the sheep too much that I could get caught. But Nicola..Susan didn't."

I refrained from reacting, as George glanced at me.

"She...she thought I just needed to get better. Told me that out of all the tens of boys they chose, I was the one who was trained. She was a few years older than me, and had already began her missions." He paused once more. "However, my training didn't last."

"Fall of the Soviet union," I spoke.

George nodded. "KGB was disbanded, and the Raven project was discontinued. All of us were given a choice to stop, become adopted to a family. Be normal for once...I chose that life. And that was why I got adopted by the Kingstons. They were in Russia for a few years before going back to the UK." He breathed. "It was the best five years of my life. Having a family."

When I heard him pause, I glanced back to find his eyes begun to glisten.

He blinked them away and gave me a faint smile. "They were lovely. A big sister that didn't seem to threaten me if I couldn't get it right, I was going to be punished. A father that came home and spent time with his children...a mother who could love you as you were her actual child." He choked back up a laugh, wiping the tears in his cheeks. "Fuck...now I think about it: it sounded like a dream."

There was pain in my chest, banging through my ribs. I felt my hands want to take him. To hug him tight, but also I wanted to tell him - that he didn't deserve any of what he got.

But I kept still, wanting to hear more.

"But then the nightmares came back to me," He spoke, a daunting feeling in his voice. "Susan came back. Said she had done what she could to take revenge from the person that stole her entire future from her." Suddenly, our eyes met.

I felt my breath shorten.

He spoke, "She said that he had betrayed us, betrayed our country, our people. All for a woman that he loved."

When I placed my finger across my face, I felt it become wet with tears.

George looked away once more and croakily said, "She told me things, things about the men that attacked us years ago; how they destroyed our brothers and sisters; she talked about taking revenge. Bringing back what we deserved. A strong and powerful union."

He eyes found mine. "And all but one person was preventing us from getting there."

"Susan was...persuasive. She still had connections, those that were a part of the programme still bitter. She gave me one task, though. To find the code, and to take down [Y/F/N] Nikalov's last remaining code breaker."

"Me."

"Yes," George answered.

I demanded, "But why. Why did you wait? You had every chance to capture me. Force me to give you the code if you wanted to?"

"She said there would be a right time," He replied. "But even so, there was always another part she never told me. The code that you decrypted: is only the first half."

"Then where is the other?"

He shrugged. "We never knew. Your father was the one that deflected, one of the main operators to know the full code-"

"For what?" I loudly spoke.

He twiddled his thumbs, lifting a leg over the other. "To have full hidden access to the worldwide network."

My breath hitched. I couldn't believe what he spoke of. Of all the things I did for work...what I about to do.

I was going to commit treason if I hadn't realised what Matthews was planning to do with the project.

Roughly, I clenched my fists and took a deep breath.

"That day," I said, a waver in my voice. "I-"

"[Y/N]."

Years of constant turn downs, the praises. The warnings my mother had told me about my father. Her constant pleads to lead a better life that wasn't government jobs.

Now I knew why. My father worked for another, and he gave it up for someone he fell for.

'Love is only a childhood dream.' Darker Me whispered my head. 'Look what love did to your father. He lost his life...just because one woman was worth more than the price of his country.'

Was she right?

Was is my own mother's fault?

Was it my own fault?

"I need to think." I said loudly, staring blankly out of the window.

I heard him stand, carefully placing back the chair. When I felt the footsteps on the wooden flooring stop, my nostrils flared up.

As the door shut closed. I shut my eyes, and my body began to shake. The tears began to fall as I felt the emotions fill me up after so many years.

I felt as if I was a little girl again.

Lost and confused inside my mind palace in the middle of the storm. But now, the palace had come crashing down onto me.

____

A/N: Hello and welcome back to four hundred and twenty! Clearly I've been editing all the published chapters recently and decided to give the part chapters i to full ones instead.

Now, the character realised her faults, and realising what really happened to their father. Of course, it's not entirely true. This is only one side of the story, which concludes George Kingston's involvement in the character's life and what he knew of their father.

Next chapter is going to be half and half between Lewis and your character. I'm hoping to get it done once I'm currently applying for university.

Yes, this boi is deciding to spend three years in school and be in crippling debt for the next few decades.

I hope you enjoyed this. :)

-SierraOwls