T h i r t y

D a n c e o f S e c r e t s

If you had a secret, that could jeopardize someone's life and lose them for it - what would you do?

There are two options. First: keep it secret. Or second: tell them the truth. The only matter of the fact is that: which one is more selfish?

And when I saw Lewis in any way, I tried to ignore the concern in my head - that maybe he held a sort of secret too.

I noticed now why he's been well aware of my presence, or mostly aware that I wasn't in the room. Even when I entered the common room or the kitchenette to grab a cup of tea, he didn't even gave me a single glance. No, he downright thought no one was in the room apart from himself.

It was inevitable that the odds had decided to take the piss on my so called hypothesis. Because as I walked down the aisle, the only seat left had to be by Mr Silver Fox himself.

For the rest of the ceremony, my eyes never wandered anywhere. Pippa and Jordan were exchanging their vows - something about being loyal and trusting each other. In fact I wasn't clearly listening to the words, hearing well enough the uncertainty of the two.

And another reason I wasn't listening was the man beside me.

Seemingly in a rigid position, Lewis sat on his chair like he was containing himself within a cage. His fingers quickly clenched and moved whilst his eyes constantly darted from them and back to the two stars of the show.

However, that wasn't why I was intrigued about.

Despite being in the higher terrain of the state, California was blazing out in heat. Therefore, all the groomsmen and the guests were suggested to just wear long sleeve shirts and a thin blazer. I was glad for that, because I never seen Turps belting in sweat

I lied well enough that I never took my gaze off Pippa and Jordan, because what I had noticed was Lewis' arm. There was a distinct groove embossed on his arm; a tinted shade of pink lining it. The stitching was a couple of months old, but usually shallow cuts would disappear at that time.

And his expression when he talked to Pippa and when Lewis looked at her during the wedding, I had gulped down the dread.

Once the ceremony finished, we shortly traveled to the reception. The venue was adorned in white and blue and red, garnished with a bit of gold. Even Turps could tell that it was because of the two couple's love of the colours.

Food, drinks, best man speech. Then the dancing happened.

"You're going to be sitting there for the rest of the evening."

A tall figure overlooked me, and I slowly sipped my champagne. I chortled, "I don't particularly like dancing."

Alex Smith snorted but I glanced at him with a raised brow. Him and I weren't even in social speaking terms; the only time we had to speak was whenever Trott and Ross forced me to be in their streams once in a while. Just because I was a good sharp shooter - or that due to the fact that Harry was busy.

In the end, I clamped down the glass and plastered a forced smile back. I gestured my hand towards him so he could lift me up and take me to the dance floor. Smith sniffed before gracing over my waist with one hand and the other in mine.

The dance was luckily not as slow as I expected. I kept my head forward, but not high enough to look straight back.

In the corner of my eye, I almost took a double take but I firmly held my ground.

By one of the quest table sat my own self. She wore the same dress from the Christmas Charity ball. Though instead, there was a stain where her gut was, her face covered in blood. The cut on her face seemed fresh and open. And it dripped onto the pristine floor, letting my eyes wander to her lips.

Darker Me smirked, and she took a sip of her drink - perched on the tips of her fingers.

However, with my lips pursed, I let Smith follow. I deduced, I knew why Smith danced with me.

Just as he opened his mouth, I interrupted. Looking sternly back, I spoke.

"You don't have to say it. I know."

"Ah, good." He sighed, almost relieved. I flashed him a raised brow before he could chuckle back. "You don't know how fucking hard it is. And you know me."

I retorted, "Yes." He twirled me around before pulling me back. "I bet your girlfriend adores that aspect."

"Well I guess we're even." As he took his hand away, he scratched his neck. Both of us stopped in our tracks, until I found myself looking at an opened hand.

I glanced back up to Smith.

He suggested, "Truce?"

Darker Me, in the corner of my eye, looked to burst into laughter. But I guessed it wasn't the laughter I expected.

"Truce." In a tight lip, I shook it back - feeling the coarse of his palm before pulling back.

My dance with Smith ended, as I told him that I was going to get another drink. He said that I had some drinking problem.

I laughed to myself and thought, 'That's only the lighter side of me.'

Whenever I reverted back to the thought, I knew very well that it was going to be harder to hide it. With George away for a work related holiday, the days became longer, the anxiety began to grow. And money turned into needles.

Staring at my arm, I took a deep breath. I needed to keep calm, and the shakiness of my hand wasn't stopping - for intensely the past week.

"Damn, I need something stronger," In a hoarse voice, I walked over to my table and placed down my drink. The place was beginning to heat up, from all the body heat and the dancing.

Therefore, I decided to head through the back doors of the venue, which overlooked the grassy park of the manor house. A gentle hillside reached over the edge of the hedges.

As I sauntered over, I pulled up my knees and slipped off my shoe. Heels were a menace. And I was sighing in relief, sensing the cool surface of the grass. There wasn't a breeze in sense, neither a single cloud as I stared out into the open valley.

The somber atmosphere gently faded me to my thoughts. I imagined Darker Me follow me out into the balcony, swaying her hips as she slowly descended beside me. And when I glanced to my right, I almost jumped.

"Oh darling," Darker Me sighed. "Ever so dramatic. I mean, I'm not surprised. How would you be such a success if you weren't?"

I tiredly answered, "Shouldn't you be, I don't know." I hesitated. "Locked up somewhere?"

"Why that's rude!" She scoffed, placing her hand on her chest, with blood splattering over her arm to her torso. The dress has gone a long way in being worn. Darker Me spoke in spite, "I wouldn't miss a big day...definitely not after your mother's and stepfather's. I still think you should kill them-"

Raising a brow, I shooed her away after telling her that I didn't need another reminder of it. To many memories spoiled my mind. And I needed to focus on one thing. But somehow one memory was still edging closer.

'There's Apollo!'

'[Y/N] get back here! It's already flooding!'

'Apollo! Get back here this instant!'

Out of nowhere, I heard a familiar voice: "Hey, what are you doing outside? [Y/N]?"

I didn't need to turn around, especially to the joyful tone of my best friend. But I replied back, "It's boiling in there. I'm not used to it like you are."

As I looked to my side, I realised Darker Me had vanished in my eyes.

A pair of footsteps rushed towards my direction, is skipped patterns before I felt her presence beside me. Pippa and I now faced the valley landscape, a minute passing us in silence before anyone could say anything else.

"By the way," She spoke with a smile, a little bit gruffly (from the constant chatting with guests). "Jordan and I wanted to thank you, for playing for us."

I turned around, my eyes wandering over the tall woman next to me. If someone placed a Christmas tree next to her, that tree would be dimmed from Pippa's glowing eyes.

I assured her with a side smile, "No problem." My hand clasped my other arm. "Plus I couldn't say no. Not when it's my best friend's wedding."

"Flirt," Pippa laughed. "I'm married now!"

With a gentle slap on my arm, I pulled back from Pippa. My hand grabbed hers, and suddenly - I knew that I made a mistake.

My grasp tightened, and my eyes creased.

'Well that was very unexpected.' A voice in my mind faintly echoed.

And at the same time, I mentally warned myself. 'Be careful who you're dealing with, [Y/N].'

Softening my grasp from her hand, which was inches from my body, I felt my lungs tighten. There was a quick rack up my arm, sensing the shakiness. My mind was buffering so much that it was difficult to process what just happened.

Then, something in my chest surged up. I quickly flattened it and let go of her arm slowly.

However, before I could even say a word: Pippa's face showed more than what I knew of her.

There was something alien to her. I've never seen her like this, ever. And it wasn't much of her face that had me analyzing so much of her reaction. It was the reason behind the glare that slowly built up. Her eyes immediately flashed from shock to almost disgust, and I took a double take on this.

This wasn't my best friend.

She jerked her hand away and looked away, and I finished: "I'm sorr-"

"No you're not."

It was barely a whisper. Pippa looked at me, coldly, "You're not sorry."

I answered back with a confused stare before shaking my head, "Then I'm sorry for reacting that way."

All she returned was silence.

Could have I walked away...there was a possibility. But when I rested my eyes next to her figure rather than back at her, Pippa was quick enough to get the picture.

She said, "Why have you been so..."

"What," I questioned.

"...So hostile!" Her voice raised, glaring back now. "I would've thought you'd be a better friend after all these years, putting up with you!"

Soon as the final comment arose, my mind head snapped. And soon as I did so, I could tell that she regretted what she said.

"I mean-"

Taking a mental breather, my answer came out much calmer. "So I'm just a burden to you?"I asked with a questioned tone.

Pippa stuttered, "N-no!" She scoffed. "What I meant is that maybe. Maybe if you'd be a little bit more supportive, and actually listen to me and Lola: maybe I don't have to be pissed at you every time you try and kill yourself!"

"How can I prevent myself being in the wrong place and time?" I raised my voice, losing a tint of my composure.

With a thrashing gesture, she exasperated. Making a ruffled noise, her arms flailed and her eyes ignored my own. Though, there was much more to her diversion to my question. And once I thought back at my question, I noticed two things. Pippa had reacted when I spoke about being in the wrong place and time...

I quietly said, "Pippa."

She stared at the side of my head. Yes: she didn't want this conversation. But as my curious self, I couldn't help it.

"You know something." My voice became stern and I felt my chest beat faster and faster. "What do you mean I tried to kill myself before?"

Rubbing her arm, Pippa nervously answered. "Can we not talk about this?" In the mick of time, her hand tried to grab mine.

"You wouldn't mention this if it was only the first time."

She nervously laughed, "Well...of course it was the only time."

Darker Me, her voice now slightly louder, called out. 'She knows...she knows about Apollo. Those dreams, the ones with you and the older boy...and the river. The storm.'

'Shut up!' I growled in my head.

'She knows...do you know why?' She replied.

I asked my alter ego why. And her answer felt my whole head collapse.

'Because she's a liar.'

I then shoved it back, now furrowing my brows back and my eyes in slits. My voice cracked and now I felt the burn in my chest let go.

And with a calm tone, I began;"No. You are going to tell me, now. What do you know about me."

Tears began to well up around her eyes and I kept my stance.

She began, "I can't."

"Why."

Her head shook vigorously. "I don't want to lose you."

I breathed. "Tell me."

And then she explained.

"The funeral. It finished and we went back home. I didn't know the details but your were gone for hours that evening." Pippa trembled through her words. "Lewis decided to go after you, wondering where you were. He found you, I guess. But there was a storm. It rained for the next two hours and we didn't know."

"Didn't know what."

"You were already at the hospital."

Then everything stopped.

I stepped forward and said, "Why? What happened?"

Pippa gritted her teeth, "They said you almost died! But when you woke up - you didn't know what happened. You didn't know who you were, where you were!"

Catching my breath, I took a pause to recollect what I just heard. My lips dried and I grew silent. Those nightmares I had were right. The dog, Lewis, the storm.

However: it forgot to tell me what happened afterwards. And that not only I lost my dog...I lost what I feared. My own memories of my life.

____

- Lewis' View -

To watch your very own sister get married was an odd experience. Of course, I was happy for Pippa and for Jordan, being with someone who you wanted to be with.

However, mum wasn't so keen with their big day.

Her own passive disapproval was subtle at first. She saw Jordan in a Facebook post when my brother came to visit them. I knew it well that memory since my dad had some concern and asked if I knew about the two.

And I simply replied that I wasn't in charge of my baby sister anymore.

That was true. Considering that Lola and Pippa were getting basically more attention from YouTube itself, Mark didn't mind at all. I didn't mind; if the stupid contract we wrote hadn't ruined majority of our work with theirs.

With that little fiasco being heard by my so called mum, Mum probably gave most of the blame to Pippa and her choices.

To think now, I was standing in their wedding reception: my mum silently praying to get out of this conundrum. A glass of champagne in my right hand as I maneuvered over to her.

I took a sip, and gasped slightly from the bubbly drink and smiled back. "Are you alright, mum?"

"I am fine, Lewis." Mum nodded, placing her hands over her body and clasped her hands together. I wasn't sure if she was worried or uncomfortable with the surroundings.

Tilting my head down, I let my free hand hold her hands - letting her face glance at me.  "Mum," My eyes tried to find hers, but to avail.

Mum tried to speak, but she seemed lost to her words. "Lewis...I'm sorry. I shouldn't-"

"Pippa loves him, mum." I reassured her, and gestured over to the Maron family, who were talking with Dad and some of my uncles and aunts. "If anything: you should be happy."

Afterwards, Mum bit her lip.

Whenever I visited mum, she imagined a perfect simple family. Where she had a stable job, with a husband and three kids. And where the kids have normal jobs with good pay and come home with their own extended families and typical Christmas' with our Nan with board games (well, we do that anyways).

At least Ralph made her happy, being a businessman after all. And a good one at that.

Instead of riling her up anymore, I sighed. I could tell her easily that everything was going to be okay. And I did. But in my gut instinct, I knew what Mum was going through.

Because that was what parents did - do the best that they thought was the best for their children.

Nevertheless, I told her that I was going to get some fresh air before the dancing continued. Mum plastered a smile before my feet guided me out to the balcony. I didn't notice enough, that I found two other people outside, hovering about by the edge of the cliff side. One of them was facing the other way of me, whilst I spotted [Y/N]'s face contort to a passive way.

And when I glanced down, it was easy to miss out the small things she did. Her fingers were tapping against her thighs, with a slight rigid and robotic movement. Her lips twitched, and I could sense the tension between her and my sister.

That was when the countless voices behind me diminished, and I could hear my heart pause a beat.

Then those words escaped Pippa's mouth: "Because you can't! You can't remember, okay!"

There was a moment of breath, and I could have stepped forward: tell Pippa to shut up.

"You had....had amnesia..." It came out in a gulp. "When we were thirteen-"

My body reacted, and I strode up next to my sister. Though before I could get to her, Pippa's head turned, and all I could see in neither any sympathy of what she was about to say.

I pleaded, "Please." [Y/N] flicked to me, and I could not stop myself from looking at her directly. "Please...you can't."

"Can't what?" My sister snapped, glaring at me. "That I can't protect my own best friend from your own stupidity?You almost killed her! Let alone the dog!"

It was like falling, watching the most thing you love get further and further away until you couldn't see a spec of it. To therefore see [Y/N]'s face crack ever so slightly, it was seeing the final vase fall off the table.

She stared, not even moving her mouth or her hands or her lips. My ears began to tinge in heat, feeling the heat rise to my head and let my chest get colder and colder, until all I cold hear of my heart was one last beat.

Suddenly, both of our eyes met.

And when twitched her lip, I held my breath.

The wind blew gently, letting the coldness tingle down my neck. And I could imagine it again, when [Y/N] took a step. Striding up to me, her face tilting to look back up at me, I continued to hold my breath.

Her voice, sharp and yet so gentle, echoed into my ear. "It's been a great game to play."

Placing over my shoulder, her hand graced - slowly touching my neck. I let out a quick breath, letting my hands clench and nostrils flare. Though before I could protest, [Y/N] dropped her hand to her side and took the glass from my finger tips. A tingling sensation sparked as she took it, and it didn't fade as she let go.

"But," She continued, and a slow stern gaze turned to me "You have chosen wrongly for an opponent."

Her lips touched the rim of the glass, letting herself sip before pulling back. I received the glass back onto my grasp from her. Then, I watched [Y/N] saunter away, not even hearing the click of her heels as she dangled the pair of shoes in her hands.

She paused. And lifted her head up.

"I don't play these sort of games, Lewis Brindley. Remember that."

In a few seconds, her figure disappeared and slipped through the crowd of the wedding. And I was left, knowing that if I clenched my hands any further: I could have broken my fingers.

Just before Pippa opened her mouth, I took a deep breath.

She said, "She needed to know-"

'No...she needed to know. Just not like this!' Rage filled my chest and I bit back the thought.

"Just go." I ordered and my sister had fear in her eyes before hesitantly left.

As I heard the click of heels, I walked over to the edge of the cliff and looked out into the view.

All you could have heard was a high screech, as glass hit the cement floor - shattering into a million pieces.

____

A/N: Holy moly! Hello again, and welcome back to Four Hundred and Twenty.

And finally! All I've been (and hopefully you have been) waiting for!

But (and yes, but): the character doesn't have her memories back. That is going to be a slow drive and it's going to really push her change in character. On the other hand, we don't know for sure (since it's from Lewis' POV) how could link the truth.

Next chapter, it's going to be a little bit hectic. I'm going to try an make sure the chapter are now coming back to my usual size (around 3000) and not around the 5000 word mark that I've had before. Because the couple of chapters beforehand have gotten so long that it seemed too boring and stuff.

Hoped you guys enjoyed this :)

-SierraOwls