E i g h t e e n

O c t o b e r  3 1 s t

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A/N: A lot of flashbacks happen here, so there would be a lot of alternative POVs. So here's a symbol list;

[Italics] = Memory

[Italics Bold] = Thought

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1998 - Little Baddow

Most of the time, [Y/N] never went to the village center until now.

Chelmsford was just exactly sixteen minutes away, consisted of more shops compared to the number of houses itself. There was a big park that they always pass by as well as the high street with cobbled pavements and strewn-out bunting and mesmerising fairy lights. She liked to count how much electricity was needed to power all of fairy lights, which she would onto the fogged-up window.

So when they planned to go up to Little Baddow that day, [Y/N] was a little nervous. It seemed that everyone knew each other but she did not exactly why was it possible. She did not know anyone on her street apart from the Brindleys and the Summers.

Her mother explained to her on the way, walking beside her: "You need to get your hair trimmed and I need to head to Karen's."

They crossed the road and she notice immediately the whole scenery change. It was usually rolling hills and flat flood plains near her house, and now there's little cottages and stories of shops and houses.

The two had to stop by the shoe repair shop, since [Y/N]'s constantly breaking her Oxfords. Her mother told her she never wore anything apart from them and honestly: [Y/N] did not want to go over to the big department store where majority of her school shopped at the weekends.

She stood outside to wait since the whole place was bustling since it had opened. Her mother told her stay put - resulting her on finding the nearest perch of a staircase by the shop. Her eyes were alert, deducing the people around her even though it was very frustrating to get it accurately.

And she wished then that she had not been there at that time.

It was a set of four people. A couple of years older than her - two of them were girl whilst the others were boys. And [Y/N] knew then not to speak once their eyes were on her. The odd sided smile she sees most of the time and furrowed eyebrows and glares.

"Didn't know she was homeless." The girl with the plait spoke, arms folded.

The other girl snapped and replied, "Don't say that! Look at what she's wearing! She's one of those posh kids who live down where all the big houses are."

"Fuck." The boy bursted out laughing, "No wonder they put her two grades up. Her parent's probably paid the Grammar school. Poor kid, probably begged them cus' she couldn't get in."

The four were not even close to her, but it was hard not to find her figgers more interesting than the call of her mum.

However the worse thing came, and she did not even had to glance at the voice to feel her heart oddly pang deeply in her chest.

Ralph Brindley spoke, "F'God's sake, she's my sister's friend. Yeah...she's a freak - but we're close. C'mon... let's go."

____

"So you ditched Halloween to join me?" I raised an eyebrow whilst we found our seats on the train and got ourselves comfortable.

Lewis fell on the opposite chair, patting down his leather jacket with a fallen hair out of place from his quiff. He looked as if he had known the date by the preparation of his clothes and raincoat that stuck out of his bag. To my head, I assumed that George had told him a few days back.

He explained casually, "Well, I had no costume plans anyways; I would've come to the party in just myself."

"Oh," I stifled a laugh when he flicked the scrunched up tissue on the table, landing itself on the opposite table.

And the more posh business woman looked very irritated at us for doing so, but we quickly apologised and continued talking. When the train left the station, our eyes were fixed on the landscape, changing once more as it left Bristol.

"It's a weird topic, but-" Lewis paused and I looked at him to acknowledge. "Do you ever think we could just get out of this city...just for like: a month or... a week?"

I asked back, "Are you tired of us?" Eyes raised in curiosity rather than amused at his pondering.

"God no!" He shook his head hut a kindly reassured him that it was a but of joking around. Lewis grinned and added, "I just...I don't know. I just want to go back. See the countryside for a bit Probably be a hill billy or something but...yeah."

"You're not someone who I thought would prefer that," I responded, gazing at the countryside but also his face once in a while. "I would've thought: city, livelihood, Hat Films."

Lewis chuckled, falling back onto the seat once more and threw his hand back through his hair whilst I kept my hands twiddling onto my zipper - fingers shaking. I preferred not talking about the purpose of the journey let alone having to do it. It wasn't something anyone wants to do; and with Lewis with me makes this much harder. He got on a train with me, to a place that would throw back to much memories.

"Hat Films are like three children in kindergarten sometimes," Lewis ranted. " But when that 'sometimes' happen...fu-flipping everything goes haywire. This is why I'm getting grey hairs."

I smiled, "I like it."

He scoffed.

And I smiled even more and repeatedly said, "I do! I really do! Don't ever decide to dye it okay. Ross' already doing it and it frustrates me."

"Haven't seen you since - I mean - ever be frustrated about something," Lewis stumbled at his words and I carried on.

Ross kept dyeing his hair back to black, but to my opinion - I liked the natural colour that naturally changed. For the man in front of me, seeing him dye it dark brown would feel odd. It was an odd topic, which then changed incredibly until the conductor asked for our tickets and we showed ours from after rummaging it in my bag.

"Ralph's gone grey," Lewis told me and I hummed.

I spoke, "Yeah. But it's weird to see him with it. Even Addie's starting to think he's not her dad."

"That child is too smart," Lewis then looked at me, with a smirk that defined his whole persona from the time we first had our cafe session. "Can you think of anyone like that?"

I retorted, "Well...she's got the Brindley genes. Plus she's got an uncle who's smart at talking and flirting and an aunt who's awesome at photography."

"Oi!" Lewis laughed, which sent me giggling as well. We were the only ones in the carriage apart from the business lady, who shushed us afterwards.

I looked at Lewis with a slight grin and thanked silently to myself - it was different to have Lewis with me...but in a good way.

I just hope I could explain to him as vaguely as possible this purpose of the trip.

____

1999 - Chelmsford

Three years.

It has been three years since he last stepped out of the house, and the last time she remembered her father's face and words as he left to go abroad for work.

It was also the last time she had lost his name as well.

"Well," Georgia spoke, dangling upside down with her legs held onto the branch. "You could always change it back once you're eighteen."

Three grown teenagers were sitting by the edge of the forest, letting the sun fall to their faces. The warmth of summer passed, and now August felt a little nearer once the breeze began to kick through. This was the only time the three girls had relaxed for once, before the school start once more and go to their separate ways.

Pippa was a little more relaxed, fiddling with her old camera as [Y/N] read her book by the trunk. When she looked up, [Y/N] sensed her friend's eyes at her with confusion. "I think Georgia means eighteen as in age and appearance."

[Y/N] rolled her eyes. "You can pester me all you want, Brindley. But no matter what: I am finishing this chapter."

"Maybe..." Georgia Summers, a girl who shone like the season's day sighed dreamily. "[Y/N]'s mind is actually been reincarnated, and she's now in a child's body - right?"

The dark brown haired teen snorted, but then frowned. [Y/N] looked to see that Pippa's camera was smoking - not a good sign at all.

"God dammit. Why can't it work."

The Youngest Brindley child then gazed at [Y/N], who then looked up in mercy. But eventually after many times of Pippa nagging to her, she just passed it along and agreed to always try to teach Pippa what she had done wrong.

At first, [Y/N] was quick in her mind, using twig to pry off the cap instead of her hands. It was boiling hot; with one touch, she would scratch her hands with sharp burns. The camera's battery had burst and the fuse had cut off the camera from working. Once she removed the burnt battery and soon knew there was no other option, [Y/N] told Pippa that there was no other choice left to make.

"You need a new camera, Pip." She said with thinly lips. "You're constantly leaving it by the window which constantly gets hot by the sun and cold in the night. It's affected the battery and burnt most of whats left."

Pippa groaned as she tossed it back to her. "What am I going to say to my mum once she finds out I burned out Uncle Tim's camera? I am so dead!"

"Well it's better to tell now than never," Georgia had hopped off the tree and walked over to the two by the grass, facing the river's edge. With bare feet, [Y/N] watched the blonde-haired dip her feet into the river. "You're parents will be annoyed, but you could always say you can save up."

The Brindley child raised eyebrows. "Georgia...you do know that the river isn't a beach." There was no reply and [Y/N] continued her reading. "Ugh never mind; I can't save up! I need it for a tripod...there's these new Polaroids they've released as well..."

For about five minutes, the three discussed most of the newest gadgets and news that lingered in the town and village they lived in. [Y/N] appreciated the times like this; all she wanted was some peace but some company so she didn't feel alone.

Her house was now empty for most of the time. Her mother is always away for orchestral rehearsals whilst she was in school. She didn't expect her own mother to become this distant to a certain extent. Maybe...[Y/N] was not being a good daughter - like her mother supposed her to become.

What would her father say?

The afternoon wind picked up, and the trio were forced to grab their belongings and head back down to their road. They were chatting and catching further on subjects before they were all heading home. And despite the long walk, it felt too short for them to finish the topic on Georgia's polo training.

That was then [Y/N] knew something was different.

There were several cars parked up the road, more closely to her house despite the Brindleys outside wondering what the hell was going on. [Y/N] was confused, and something holding on her chest began to waver and tilt. Her mum wasn't going to be home until another hour.

Pippa shortened her speech, "...why are there cars parked at yours, [Y/N]." The teenagers passed one of the windows, and they barely saw the man who gazed at them back. "Well...that wasn't your mum."

"Something has happened," [Y/N] informed the two, who were glancing each other in worried looks - something she did not needed right now.

What was happening?

Georgia walked over to her and placed an arm at her shoulder while Pippa had gone up to her family to ask. "[Y/N]..."

[Y/N] felt as if her ears were ringing; it sounded like the bells from school. It was a warning to her own head. She waved off Georgia's arm and trudged her feet up to her house gates. With a slow hand, she glanced up to the door and spotted it to be wide open. Her mum would never let the door open - not when there were burglars in the recent weeks.

Her mind was working ten times as ever, working the clogs as fast as [Y/N] to process everything around her. The open door, the men in suits, the cars. 'Clothes...too expensive...I can see a gun-like shape propped from their pockets.' [Y/N] deduced. She had been so distracted that she didn't hear her mother's familiar voice.

"[Y/N]!" she flicked around, stared back in curiosity to the two men rather than her mother - who stood by the door in confusion as well. At least the her mother was not sure as well.

It was going too fast for her. The voices from the two men had told her mother and herself to sit down, as they were about to speak something confidential. "Excuse me. But I am not letting some unknown men coming into my house!" Mrs [Y/M/SN] told with a stern glare that even left the two men unaffected.

"It's about your former husband, Madam." The man in front, with hands folded in front, spoke calmly.

For the first time: [Y/N] found what it was like to feel her heart take control.

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Once we got off the train, I was slapped with the bustling noise and overcrowding areas of what seemed to be the city of London. It has been a while and I had grown accustomed to Bristol's less populated city areas. Lewis didn't seem to mind; in fact he looked more worried for me when I kept bumping into people as we tried to find the nearest ticket machine.

We finally did find one, a little slow but manageable despite the tight space. My face was close up to screen, with Lewis constantly correcting me as my hands were shaking to press for the print button. There was a sense of reassurance when he did so; his soft remarks back as he tried to laugh it off somehow left me with a sort of smile.

"I'm just going to the look before we go," Lewis awkwardly said and I formed a fake smile to lessen the tension.

I laughed, "Go ahead, I'll wait here before we head down." The said man, couldn't help but wave off like he was heading to a battle zone.

On the other hand: I was trying to refrain myself from shaking again. And to my honesty: I can never help it. This was the hardest part every year: having to overcome the wait. One time, I had been shaking so much that the nearby staff had wondered if I had been alright.

'Of course I'm not fine! I'm going on a train, that could easily be a disaster...' It was kind of ironic to think that. It's best if Lewis leaves right now...before he could sense how pathetic I am...and dragging him to this?!

What was George thinking? Maybe he had enough of me and decided to pass on the torch to him.

Lewis had to startle me, whilst I had been reading the London Underground map. "Jesus," I swore under my breath. "You hadn't need to creep up to me like that."

"[Y/N]," He rolled his eyes and passed my ticket to me which I held to my chest. "Come on, we'll miss the train."

And to our luck, we did manage to get to Westminster. That was when the questions were being filed to me from my friend, who kept wondering my silent treatment as we walked. The memories...they were coming back.

Her mother asked the two men if they wanted any tea, to which they had politely declined. So then [Y/N] led them to the reception lounge quietly to her mum's stern looks.

The four sat, with her mother and herself sat facing the two government officials - now a brief case placed on the coffee table.

"Your name is [Y/M's/F/N] and [Y/Full/N], related to Sir [Y/F/N], correct?"

"Yes," Her mother confirmed.

The man paused and glanced at his colleague, who then glanced at the young teen's face beforehand.

He sighed before nay words left his mouth.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" It was Lewis' voice who stopped me from walking round to the corner. We were nearly there as well, but his voice stopped me from the voices. I looked at him and saw the concern - like the one from the convention. "[Y/N]?"

I nodded and smiled wryly, "Yes; we're going the right way. Come on, it's not that far."

Instead of him following me like a lost goose, he walked to my side and making sure his pace was the same as mine. It felt slightly odd as this was not my tall and curly-haired best friend. This was a man who I'd barely knew until we were just co-workers. Then why did I feel so comfortable for him to come?

The thoughts swirled and were tossed to the side. Because once we rounded the corner, my head fell across to the grounds over the tall black fence.

Lewis trailed off in his words as he now knew. His face fell, worse than to what George had first done years back. Because it's not hard to connect the dots...when you find yourself at Westminster Abbey's cemetery.

"No...I don't believe you. And I know easily well who lies!"

"Miss [Y/S/N]. Unfortunately, it is true."

"What if it's not true. A shot like that could be prevented."

"You must calm down. You could go into shock."

All at once, it seemed the noise had died down and I could feel the cool breeze and the birds chirping in the autumn weather. There were several others, to those to pay their respects to. This was a place for the commemorated, the most important people to this country. For me: this was place to connect to him.

Lewis and I sauntered to where the familiar tombstone was. It was just around the outer and newer graves but not to close to the road so it gave me peace and quiet to just sit down and think. I found the right name and stone and took out the flowers which the two of us bought at Victoria Station.

I could have been selfish, ignore Lewis and sit down. But this time: I didn't. I stood my ground first and spoke quietly. The words came out quieter than I expected;

"When I said I had a set of parents alive," My voice was stronger. "I meant it. My mother...and my step-father."

With furrowed eyebrows, Lewis then placed an arm by my side. He attempted to give any comfort, but I stared back at his brown eyes and let my heart do the talking.

I explained, "I guess you know from your parents, that my mum re-married. That accountant from Ipswich?"

"It's been a while, [Y/N]." Lewis spoke, pulling back his quiff. "I wasn't...I can't remember what really happened."

I replied, "It's fine." A deep sigh escaped my lips, and I shut my eyes from preventing the tears leaking. "But when I...when I found out: it wasn't what I expected."

"No." Lewis firmly answered. "No one deserves to find out it like that."

But why me?

Why did it happened to me?

I found myself fall to my knees, right next to the words which were never suppose to be seen at such a young age. My hands trailed over the grooves, rough and smooth and the same time - all by age and rain. Placing the flowers down, I watched the first tear fall to the patch of stone.

"Hello, father." I let out quietly, a sort of smile lingering on my face as I talked. "It's another new year. Happy Halloween." As if he had stood in front of me, I imagine him grin at the flowers I have brought and tell me all the different properties that it could provide anyone.

"You always liked these...carnations." The one-way conversation continued. "Mother used to plant them every winter so then they would bloom on your birthday."

When I turned around, I expected Lewis to have left - horrified and awkwardly uncomfortable at my sense. However, I saw the same face - reassuring but something else. More remorse.

I then added, "And Lewis Brindley came with me this time. Turns out he's now my boss and I'm still struggling to maintain an actual full time job." A laugh escaped my lips as I wiped away the tears from my cheeks. I then stood up, dusting off my jeans as I spoke once more. "I wish...I wish you were here. But somehow our calculations could never prevent anything like this to happen."

Sometimes I am guilty for my father, but most of the time - I never let my heart rule my head. It wasn't what my father want me to do. So I stood back, I little stronger a while ago but somehow different than all the previous years. With my hands by my sides, I let the silence carry - with now Lewis at my side.

He then softly spoke as I was slightly surprised at him. As he slipped a hand to mine, there was a feeling that washed through me. I didn't know what it had been: safety, reassurance, sympathy? "You've been strong, [Y/N]." Lewis said. "Who um-else knows that you come here?"

The reply was quick. "Just George - and you of course." I bit my lip before continuing, "It's always been a walk away from work so there was never a day that I ignored this...part of my life."

"No one should walk this path alone." Lewis spoke, a little bolder as my hand was squeezed by his. He looked at the name of on the headstone which read my father's name - knighted and all by the Queen. "And apart from the 'for queen and country' bullshit: they don't deserve him. None of them."

I choked up a laugh.

His words seemed to lift the weight off my shoulders. It was insulting the crown and the government. But for once: I didn't care for any of them. He was my father, not a spy who died for MI6. The father who I have remembered as funny, intelligent and caring. The one who would come home and think of his family first than his work.

For the first time, today: the space in my chest didn't feel so empty anymore.

Squeezing Lewis Brindley's hand, the simple gesture showed me that I wasn't alone in this.

Not anymore.

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A/N:Thank you for being so patient; I had the busiest January of my life, loads of coursework and mock exams. Overall, there was never a time that I could sit down and write this. And when there was a time: I had writer's block or too tried to press a key.

But nevertheless, it's done. And now you know what has happened. This character development is vital and a lot of action is going to take place now after this chapter. I just needed the balance so it could work and make sense.

I feel quite happy at how this turned out. Let me know on how you felt, and if you had expected the plot twists :)

-SierraOwls