Reality came crashing down on my head when I looked at my watch and realized I'd spent over two hours with Robert and my mother. We'd talked of everything from our pasts to our favorite hobbies. I'd learned that Robert was extremely rich, was previously married, had a dog named Carlos and loved my mother even more than I'd initially thought. I was honestly surprised he hadn't proposed or anything. He'd looked positively giddy as he watched my mother talk.

My mother would have said yes if he'd asked her to marry him. That much was obvious with the evident love and happiness that had radiated from her face. I knew she'd loved my father more than anything but it was time to move on. It was what my father would have wanted. She'd finally gotten everything she'd been after. Happy thoughts swirled in my mind as I drove home to pick up enough clothes for the days I'd spend in Violet's log cabin. I tried to focus on the mental checklist of things I needed. Anything but focusing on what might happen after I left my house and got to a safe place. Anything but thinking that I'd have to say goodbye. I'd get to see the boys one more time, to kiss them and hug them and say everything I felt in my heart. It wouldn't be enough. It would never be enough.

I didn't even let myself think of the thought that it might be the last time I'd see them. It wouldn't be. I had to believe that. We deserved to find happiness together and I'd have to believe God would grant us that miracle.

I pulled up to the house just as my phone started ringing in my pocket. Fishing it out, I was surprised to see Ivan's number on the display screen. I'd assumed they were back at the house by now. We'd agreed not to call each other in case they tracked our phones.

That was unless it was some sort of emergency. For a moment, I could swear my heart stopped beating. It didn't matter if I'd known they would be in danger as long as Ivan's father was out there. I could never, would never be able to wrap my head around the idea of losing them. I cut the call and pocketed the phone before racing into my house. Prayers to anyone who'd listen raced through my head. Please don't let me be too late. Please tell me they were here. I prayed and prayed as I looked around my empty living room. They weren't here. They should be here by now. I, I thought we had more time.

"Ivan! Mikhail! Alexei!" My heart was hammering in my chest so fast I thought it would burst. Pure fear shot through my heart and my knees almost buckled. I couldn't lose them. I wasn't ready. I hadn't even prepared myself for the possibility. Could I ever prepare myself for such a possibility? My mind was too jumbled to even call Ivan back.

Or perhaps it was fear that when the caller picked up, it would be Ivan's father and the hope in my chest would fizzle out. I kept crying out their names to a seemingly empty house as I searched the kitchen.

A pair of footsteps suddenly came barreling down the steps. I recognized them before the person even emerged and flung myself into his arms. The familiar scent of a fire filled my nostrils and I couldn't keep my shuddering sob from ripping out as I wrapped myself around him as tightly as I could.

Ivan's strong arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me into his chest. I buried my face into the crook of his shoulder and kept my legs wrapped around his waist as I tried to keep my tears locked inside.

For a second I thought I'd lost them and it had felt like the end of the world. But he was still here. He was still safe in my arms. Ivan's father hadn't done anything just yet. Relief had my dying heart starting up once again as I drew back and glanced over his distraught face. That's when I realized something was drastically wrong.

The arms that held me were shaking slightly. They never shook when they held me. They were always strong and grounded. He was my real safe place, my rock, and feeling him shake was like shaking the ground on which I stood. The handsome face that was gazing up at mine was full of poorly disguised worry. Even his love for me was consumed with whatever grief tormented him. There was something desperate in the way he clung to me like I was the only thing left in his world.

But what truly confirmed my thoughts that something was wrong was when Ivan's green eyes filled with tears and began to spill. The strongest man I'd ever known was suddenly on his knees, with my body still in his arms and shaking with sobs that hinted at an agony that could shatter his soul. It could shatter my soul because I knew what those tears meant. I knew why he held me like I was all he had left.

I didn't need him to voice the cause of the agony. I'd known the minute two pairs of footsteps hadn't come down behind Ivan to take me into their arms as well. In truth, I'd known something was wrong the moment I'd entered the house. They weren't here. Alexei's spirited energy and Mikhail calming presence were gone. But my relentless, hopeful heart clung to the naïve hope that they would come suddenly, that Mikhail would yell at Ivan for practically crushing me in his arms and Alexei would call me darling one more time as he teased me for being so worried. My heart didn't truly break until Ivan spoke in a broken voice I'd never heard.

"They had your grandpa's house surrounded an hour after you left. I got your grandpa out but I couldn't go back for Alexei and Mikhail. He got to them Roe. I couldn't save them." There was a low buzzing in my ears. My heart was cleaving in two and the hands I had on his shoulders were shaking. The guilt in his voice was evident because he thought he'd let Alexei down again. I couldn't find the strength in myself to appease that guilt. The fight was over before I'd even thought it had started.

Ivan's father had taken them. He'd taken two of the most important men in my life just like that. He'd taken two pieces of my heart and Ivan's with them. And if it weren't for the man that held me in his arms, I would have broken into a million jagged pieces. Hope would have flown out the window and I would have given in to the tides of agony that wreaked havoc on my shattered heart.

But I still had Ivan. I still had my rock and I still had hope. I knew Ivan would do anything to get them back and I knew we both needed to get them back. We both needed them back in our lives or we'd die trying. It hurt so much to even think of letting Ivan go into danger when he was all I had left but we needed to do this.

He'd get them back. He'd promised me he'd try with everything he had. Ivan would get them back but what worried me was how much he would pay to do so. What would be the cost of saving them? I couldn't think of it now, not when Ivan continued to crumble in front of my eyes and thoughts of seeing Mikhail and Alexei again moved further away.

"Go after them. You can get them back Ivan. Please, please don't break. You're all I have right now." His head bowed even further and he slowly handed me the phone in his hand. I took it with shaking hands of my own. What could possible be written there that could bring him to his knees?

Your mother trapped in the house or your brothers with us. Give yourself up and become the leader of the gang you were meant to be. Any efforts to save one of them and the other will be dead before you can utter a single breath. Choose wisely son. 

"I can only save one of them and I can't choose. If I try to save one of them he'll kill the other." This was pure torture. To hold the people he loved hostage was a planned attack to achieve what he wanted but this would break him. This would make him choose between the two sides of his heart. It was also ingenious in the cruelest way. As a single man, Ivan couldn't save them both and using one or the either, his father would make him bend to his will.

To fail Alexei like he thought he did all those years ago or to fail the mother he hated but was still the only reason we'd even been warned of the calamity that would fall on us when we returned home.

Choosing between two innocents. Ivan could never make this choice. It would destroy him. He'd rather give himself up. Logically speaking, saving three lives by giving up one made sense. 

But all the lines blurred when it came to love and I wouldn't let Ivan succumb to his father. Mikhail, Alexei and Ivan's mother wouldn't want that. They'd want him to fight and defeat his father once and for all. 

It was a foolproof plan but Ivan's father had failed to factor in one last detail. Yet again, he'd underestimated the power of the woman he worked with. Ivan's mother wouldn't go down so easy and neither would my boys. Perhaps, the two of us together could save her and the boys.

"You go after the boys." Ivan looked up in confusion and he read my face clearly. His arms were already tightening around me and his mouth opened to say whatever words would stop me.

I already had a plan forming in my head. I would have to trust that it would work as well as it did in my imagination. It probably wouldn't but we had no choice. Getting the police involved would get all three hostages killed and Ivan giving himself up wasn't a possibility I would let myself consider. 

"No, no way. Roe I lost them. I can't lose you too. Please go to Violet and Troy." I was already shaking my head before he finished. His voice died out as he realized that in reality we had no choice.

He had to forget his protective instincts for once if he wanted to save a life. It killed him to do it. It killed him to put me in the direct line of danger without anyone at my back but he would do it. He'd promised me once he'd think more rationally instead of submitting to his emotions.

So after a war was waged on his face and reluctant agreement came through, he finally stood up and spoke to me in a low voice. It was the voice of gang leader. If he wanted to keep from breaking in front of his father, he'd have to slip this mask on.

"Do you have a plan," I asked? He nodded once. He looked over my face like it was the last time he was seeing it. I clutched my hands on the fabric that covered his chest. Suddenly I was terrified. Not for my own life but for the extent Ivan may have to go to save his brothers. I didn't want to be sending him to his death.

"You come back to me okay? You come back. No heroics, no self sacrifices. You get all three of you back to me okay?" He nodded and leaned forward to place his forehead on mine as his hand wound around my upper arms to hold me in place. There were tears dripping down my face once again. I was sick of this. I was sick of crying because of one evil man who wanted to have his way.

"I love you," Ivan said as he drew back and caressed my face with the palm of his hand. I was crying too much to even say it back. This couldn't be the last time but why did his declaration of love sound like a goodbye?

He leaned forward and placed his lips on mine. A quick, hurried kiss that was much to short, much to fast to convey everything I was feeling. A kiss that conveyed our deepest wishes. I wish we had a future. The kiss stole the air from my lungs as I tried to press myself close to him just one more time. But before I could pull him back, he was already moving towards the front door. As he opened it, he turned to look at me one last time.

"I'll do everything in my power to get back to you with them. I promise. You stay safe. One sign that you can't handle it and you back off. I don't care what that means for my mother. You're mine. I won't lose you to save anyone." I nodded feebly and he was out of my sight, the door shutting behind him with a thud. I wanted to run after him, to bawl my eyes out or to simply collapse. After a very long time, I was back to having no one by my side. How had I survived 5 months like this?

But I had a plan to put into action and I couldn't continue to pity myself for the horrible cards the four of us had been dealt. We'd pull through this. So I began doing my part to foil Ivan's father's plans. I had no remorse when I silently wished for a cruel death upon him and almost grinned as my plan started to take shape. He'd pay for the pain he caused us a hundredfold. 

Roe's getting stronger with the boys by her side. Don't forget that underneath this bravado, she's still just a 17 year old teenager. Do you think it's a fool's hope to think that Roe's plan will go completely right. She's going to need that miracle she was praying for to pull through if she wants her plans to work. But still, one girl against a whole gang in their house? The next chapter is going to get super intense so stay tuned. 

Mikhail and Alexei are gone now. You think Ivan will get to them before it's too late? Don't forget that Mikhail and Alexei won't go down so easily. They are gang members after all. It's really our dear Roe that we have to worry about.

I hope you liked this chapter! If you did, let me know in the comments and click the little star to send a little love and appreciation my way. I love you guys so much. Until the next chapter...

Love

-ASH