I was lost in thought when I pulled up at my house in my grandfather's car. My heart felt weak with emotion and I was tempted to let sleep take over. But the memory of the last few hours wouldn't let me sleep so easily. For the first time in my 17 years, I'd seen my grandfather crumple to his knees in defeat. Those sobs that wracked his body left me shaking even now. How had they not affected my mother? How had she heard them and chosen to ignore them? Was she so cruel?

I slowly clambered out of the car, my whole body feeling worn down. Perhaps a hot shower would help. As I got closer to the front door, I noticed three silhouettes on the porch step sitting in complete silence. On any other night, I would have been elated to see these three boys but not tonight. Tonight I just wanted rest.

But then I remembered the dinner I'd promised them and winced. No matter what, I owed them an explanation. They were no doubt furious at me for standing them up. I stood in front of them, staring at my feet and schooling my face to hide my weariness before looking up.

"I'm so sorry," I said, not wanting to explain where I'd been. It would only pick at my wounds and I'd end up spilling all the tears I'd held in at my grandfather's place.

"I get it Roe," said Alexei, but he wasn't looking at me, instead opting for the ground instead. There was something painfully raw in that voice that had me startled and scared for a second. Did he know?

"Get, get what," I asked, holding my breath and praying he knew nothing. Not yet. We'd only just met. He didn't need to know how messed up my life was.

"You only agreed for this dinner because you felt pity for me," he said, and the self-loathing and regret in that voice was like a punch to my stomach as I realized I'd triggered one of his biggest insecurities. His blindness, something that in no way made him any less special, was what haunted this boy and I'd given him another reason to believe he was less than those around him.

"What no Alex," I started but he cut me off and rose to his feet, still refusing to meet my eyes. The pain in that stance as he stooped forward had me darting forward to put my arms around him, assure him that he was in no way undesirable but he batted me off with a flick of his wrist. Involuntarily, I felt the tears rising and my heart clenched at how sorrowful he looked.

"I understand. Who'd want to go to dinner with a blind boy? I should have known better," he said, bitter and sharp and I inhaled a breath in shock. God he'd thought so low of me. To think he'd thought I'd reject him for his blindness. Did he think I was so cruel? I felt an irrational surge of anger towards him. My emotion, which had already been on a high manifested into harsh words I could never take back.

"You think so low of me? Why would I ever hold that against you? Are you so blind to not even understand that much about me?" I saw the mistake in my words as soon as I said them, heard the gasp of shock escape Alexei's lips, and out of the corner of my eye saw Ivan's body coil in anger. I'd said them in the heat of the moment and without even thinking. In no way was I referring to his actual blindness when I'd said what I'd said, but the fact that I'd used the word against him would inevitably hurt him even more. God no, no what had I done?

"No wait I didn't mean," I said, grasping for words out of air while reaching out to clutch Alexei's jacket but it was in vain. He brushed me off, and finally looked up at me. The pain I saw there was enough to make me stumble back a step. He took a deep breath in, and the heavy emotion in his eyes dimmed just a bit and was replaced with firm resolve. His hand came up to steady me before he pulled me closer to him, his eyes somehow looking straight into mine.

"I am so blind Aphrodite, so please do enlighten me. If you weren't against going to this dinner then where were you tonight," he pressed, and my lips sealed shut of their own accord. I couldn't tell him that, but under those steady eyes I couldn't lie either. So I remained frozen in his grip, staring up at him with a pleading expression on my face that he couldn't even see. His palm was on my cheek but he made no move to wipe away my stray tears when they reached his fingers. A flash of pain crossed his face and he released a sigh of disappointment when he realized he was going to receive no answer from me. He released his grip on me and Ivan came up to him and guided him back to their own house. Neither of them turned back and I crushed the onslaught of disappointment that brought me. I turned to Mikhail who still stood there, looking torn.

"I didn't mean what I said. I just, it's been a long night Mikhail," I said softly and he looked to me. There was no anger there, no judgment. Just pure understanding and I let out a sigh of relief. At least one person understood, though I didn't know how.

"I'll see what I can do. Goodnight Roe," he said, his hand gently brushing away my tears before he walked away. I held on to his words and kept the rest of my tears inside as I entered my empty house to take the hot shower I desperately needed.

After tossing and turning in bed for over two hours, I gave up on sleep and chose to make myself some late night tea and play some soft music while lying on the couch. Alexei's words replayed in my head, over and over again and each time, my frustration and anger only rose. He hadn't even been willing to understand what I was trying to say when I'd first come. He'd jumped to horrid conclusions, which weren't even justified. Yes, I'd stood him up and yes, I hadn't been able to tell him where I'd been, but didn't he know I wasn't one to blow people off without any warning?

But that was the problem. He knew so little of me that deep down; I couldn't blame him for the conclusion he'd drawn. My frustration and anger was towards myself, for letting my mother mess up my life once again. No matter how far away she was from me, I'd never escape her completely. Not if I didn't want to escape her in the first place. She would only continue to create problems, until my life was too damaged to create any more.

A knock sounded at my door and I slowly went up to open it, keeping one hand on the baseball bat I hid near the door in case I received any unwanted visitors. The door swung open to reveal Alexei and Mikhail, both looking miserable and cold in the dead of the night.

"Alexei has something to say to you," said Mikhail before pushing his friend forward and leaving back the way he came. Alexei remained frozen at my doorstep, his head down and eyes hidden from me. A heavy silence descended between us and I spoke before it suffocated us completely.

"I didn't mean what I said Alexei and I'm so sorry, I" I started after a prolonged silence, but he cut me off and finally looked up. His eyes were a mixture of emotions. There was frustration, sadness, guilt, regret, but most importantly an intense vulnerability that had me instinctively reaching out to cup his face in the palm of my hand. His light stubble tickled the center of my palm and a blush rose on my cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold. He leaned his head into my palm and his eyes shuttered close as if on instinct.

"I know Aphrodite. I know," he said, his voice heavy, and his hand came up to keep mine against his cheek. He looked so bone weary, so tired, so at odds with the wild boy in the hallway that I'd first met.

"Then why would you ever accuse me of such a thing," I said, letting my hurt seep through and he winced like my words physically wounded him. I hadn't meant to hurt him, but he needed to know his words had stung quite badly.

"Because this isn't the first time something like this had happened." he said and drew away from me. I think he was waiting, waiting for me to shut the door on his face for not offering me more of an explanation, some kind of story. But that would make me the biggest hypocrite in the world. We all had our secrets, and for now, the fact that there was an explanation for his unjustified conclusion was all I needed. One day, he could tell me the truth but for now, this would suffice.

"I understand," I said softly and a small, sad smile appeared on his face. He knew that with understanding came experience and he knew I held my own secrets too. But he didn't question it, didn't press. Instead he stepped forward and leaned down to kiss me lightly on the forehead, his lips catching my hairline instead in a feather light touch. I shut my eyes and leaned into his body warmth, savoring his touch, and he withdrew slightly to place his forehead against mine. We stood frozen like that, two silhouettes in the light of my doorway connected by the invisible tether of understanding and compassion.

"I'm sorry," he breathed out and I hated how serious and morose he sounded. I wanted the playful, beautiful boy back; the one that glowed with enough energy to light up a thousand worlds and drew me in like a moth to a flame. I'd had enough of serious conversation for one night.

"Well perhaps you boys could take me to that dinner we never had as an apology," I said playfully, looking up at him. Ah, there was that twinkle of happiness in his eyes again.

"We'd be honored," he said, a bright smile lighting up his face. 

This is one of my favorite chapters so far. The angst and then the reunion was wonderful to write. And Alexei! God  I just love creating his character. The humorous, chivalrous, witty boy has another side to him as well and I loved exploring it. Obviously I'll be delving into his character and the others more, but I hope this little preview of the layers of Alexei made you love this boy just a bit more. 

Thank you so much to everyone that's been reading this book so far. I know I say this every time but I can't explain to you how happy it makes me to see the fact that you guys like this book. Every single vote, comment and read still puts a smile on my face so thank you so much. As for the 700 reads, I'm absolutely ecstatic. I still can't believe it so thank you so so much. 

And I was also wondering, do you guys want a cast list for this book or should I leave it to your imagination? Let me know in the comments below and don't forget to click the star as well if you loved this chapter! 

Love

-ASH