Bang! Bang! Bang! 

The sound rings out in the second story hall. No one will open the classroom door. One by one the rooms remain silent as my cries for help ring out. I was stuck running for my life. I looked like a chicken with its head cut off. I turn the corner. 

BAM!

Another gun shot too close for comfort. 'Why? What did we do to deserve this? More like what did I do wrong to deserve this?'  

 I jolt awake before my nightmare gets any further. Another night but still the same memory severed inside my head. Its an unescapable cycle. Park Ji-hoon was the student who shot up the school. He was a buff dude but people made fun of him because of how low-income his family was.

Always came to the school with the same pair of clothes and shoes. He only had 5 pairs of outfits and 1 pair of shoes. I felt bad for the dude so I talked to him. We had become the duo no one expected. I would always tell him to expect the unexpected. Jihoon would smile and agree with that saying. I always said that but I never would've expected him to snap.

When we became friends he seemed happier. The bullying seemed to stop, but it turns out they just did it without me knowing. Why did he not tell me? Well, thats a question I cannot answer. I could've reported it. He confessed to me the day before the shooting that he had a crush on me. I really liked him but not in that way. I hesitated and at first he looked pissed off, but then his mood went back to normal. The next day he shot up the school an paralyzed me. Could I have saved everyone that day? Could I have saved myself? Could I have done that if I just accepted his offer to date him? 

No matter how hard I try. No matter how much I try to push it aside. I cant help but think that the shooting was my fault. I pushed him to the edge by hesitating. I probably made him feel unloved. I did love him, but more like brotherly love. Except no that brotherly love has turned into hate. He hurt everyone and made me become broken on the inside and out. The therapist suggested that I go to the prison and confront him. She said that it might ease the pain to get answers.  I think it'll just make the pain worse. 

While lost in thought I didnt hear someone knock at my door and walk in shortly after. "Ayeong?," I hear the voice of Yoongi say. Weird he was quiet all night and during the fan meet. "Yes Yoongi," I respond. He looks at me for a bit. My appearance must be a bit saddening because his expression becomes sullen a bit, "Did you h-have a nightmare?" The hesitation in his question is quite obvious, but I cant respond. Nodding he comes closer and sits on the edge of the bed like an older brother would, "I know we just recently met and I haven't said much to you, but if you need someone that'll sit down and listen then Im here."

I half-heartedly smiled to that. 'Someone who will listen if I need them,' I thought in my head. They always say that but if I say anything Im just spewing out my thoughts. No one truly understands how I feel. "If I told you the stuff that went on in my head Yoongi then you'd think Im insane. No matter how many times I tell my story or what happened that day... you'll never truly understand how I feel." He looks down to his hands which are fiddling around in slight nerve. 

Yoongi finally looks me in the eyes, "I'll never deep down understand the fear, the sadness, the pain, or even the loneliness you went through....but I do know that I will never let you feel that again. I will never let you go through that alone. I will help you fight." Tears threaten to roll down my eyes. Someone who knows they wont understand me but will help me fight my demons. Everyones been busy trying to understand that they haven't realized that all I need is a hand to hold and a guardian angel whos got my back no matter what.

"Just let it out Ayeong. I can see in your eyes that you're holding everything in," and with those words he just said I break down into tears. He brings me in to cry on his shoulder. "Why are you being like an older brother to me? Why do you care Yoongi? How do you know just what to say?," the questions I throw at him just rolling off my tongue non-stop. He's silent for a moment until I lift my head up from his shoulder. 

"I care because I wish someone did when I went through everything I did. I felt so broken when my parents didn't except what future I wanted in the music industry. I wanted someone to not try to understand but to push me through the pain. To make me realize that I have endless possibilities and greatness ahead of me. That all I need to do is let my emotions go and face my fears. Which meant I had to face my parents. You need to face your fear Ayeong and Im not going to tell you what that is because Im not you. Only you know what you're afraid of Ayeong. Dig down deep, find it, and break free from it," With those words he gets up heading to the door. He motions for me to get ready for my schedule and I slightly smile at him while he walks out. 

I throw my blanket off and slip into my wheelchair. I then head over to my new closet which is a pretty decent size that lets me be able to roll around inside while I look for an outfit I deam worthy enough. 

I had to give a good first day on the job look.  After struggling into my outfit I did a light cute makeup look and threw my curly raven black hair into a pony tail. My dance skills were one thing but my exotic look was another. No one knew where I got my curly hair and eye color from. The first thing anyone notices on me are my eyes. Their color is a bright hazel color that seemed to always intrigue the people around me.

My hair was always so difficult to brush and to make sure it looks neat. It literally looked like a rats nest when I wake up first thing in the morning. Kind of embarrassed Yoongi saw my lions mane at its worst.

I brush it out and put all the product it needs to stay presentable in. Once im done I head to the stairs in my wheelchair only to be faced with a slap in the face that their not wheelchair accessible yet. Damn I cant even use stairs anymore! Never once in my life have I ever wanted to walk up or down stairs this much. With a heavy sigh I try and think of a way to get down into the kitchen.

Lucky for me though is that Jin came bounding up the stairs. "I was just about to come help you down," he told me with his worldwide handsome smile.  I chuckle nervously before he hoists me into his arms bridal style.  As we head down the stairs a thought goes through my mind.  If someone wouldve told me a year ago my dream to be an idol came true and one of the men I look up to the most carried me bridal style I wouldve slapped some sense into them.

He sets me down on a chair at the dining room table and leaves to grab my wheelchair. I look in front of me at the traditional Korean breakfast he prepared for us. It looked amazing and smelt amazing. My mind was telling me to dig right in, but I decided to wait for Jin since he couldnt eat yet due to my patheticness.

I chuckle quietly at him sitting in my wheelchair while rolling it in. He wasnt world wide handsome for no reason. Even in his BT21 PJs he looked breathe taking. Once he sits the others flood into the room. Im peacefully eating when I hear a loud bang on the door, unintentionally flinching. The boys noticed this unhappily and Namjoon got the door. I heard him scolding whoever banged on the door before coming back.

When he came back though he wasnt alone. There stood 2 of the 7 other boys I never thought Id meet. Although they were still fresh from their debut that didnt stop me from totally fan girling by just being in these to young mens presence. Right in the doorway stood Enhypen members Jay and Niki. Guessing from the excited loud banging that it was Niki who did it.

"Im sorry for startling you Ayeong Noona," Niki says and I cant help but cringe at his words. He had to apologize to me because I cant even take a simple bang at the door. I mentally face palm myself, " you did nothing wrong Niki-ah."  He then bows at my remark as a way to thank me for understanding.

They then turn back to the rest of the members and Jay states their business, "we just came to pick up Ayeong since PDnim wants us to help her with her songs." The members nod and bid their goodbyes(also good lucks) to me.

I get out to the van and notice they took the fancy van with the wheelchair ramp put into it. When the door slides open down comes the ramp. Once its fully down I roll inside the van and park my wheelchair. Soon after Jay and Niki get into the van. Only after their both in do I realize my bodyguard in the back seat with Jay. He bows while saying, "Good morning." I nod back at him and face the front. The ride is quiet the whole time. Sadly it was an awkward silence due to us not knowing what to say.

'Okay Ayeong so far its going great! Dont screw this up,' I say in my mind as we head to the Bighit building. Lets see where my day takes me. Lets see if I make an amazing debut song today. Lets see if people except me for who I am, which is wheelchair bound.