I wake up in the morning extra early. Sweat was sliding down my temple. I meet the CEO Bang Sihyuk today. What if I ruin my chance? What if I say the wrong thing? What if he says no to Aeri becoming my partner?

Just as I was thinking that the beautiful woman herself walks in. Her beauty was out of this world, its no wonder she took up modeling after quitting her idol career for me. That still weighs heavily on my heart. Its my fault she never became an idol. Its my fault she never succeeded in her dreams.

"Good morning beautiful!," she says to me as she sits on the edge of my bed. I smile to her, "Good morning! Are you going to get ready for the meeting?" Her smile fades and I start to worry. "About that, I really love modeling. I really dont want to leave it, but if you want me as your partner I will totally do that," she explains and I shake my head with a smile, "No, do your dream. Im super proud of you and glad that you found something you love." She becomes untense and smiles, "Oh my god! Im so glad you understand." I laugh while hugging her, "Of course I would. Our dreams are becoming a reality." She nods and hugs me tighter, "Well, I have to go to a photoshoot. They say that this ones gonna be career changing." I give her a high-five, "Oooooo, thats my girl there!" 

After she walks out I sit there for a bit. As much as I wanted her by my side, I wasn't taking another dream from her. Finally after sitting there for a bit I hoist myself into my damn wheelchair.  While grabbing my clothes and heading to my specially made shower to fit all my disabled abilities, thoughts flood my mind. I want to be normal again. I want to be able to walk into a shower again. I dont want a specially made shower that reminds me of all my loss. 

Wow, thats how pathetic I've become. So much suffering and although he's in jail.....

It doesnt seem enough.

His last words to me ring in my head 24/7. If he manages to escape...He'll finish me. A shiver runs through me. No! He wont escape and he wont finish me off. Why did he blame me for his bullying? I didnt know it was happening. When I talked to him he seemed fine. He couldve told me and I couldve told the teachers. They would stop it all. How could I have known when he didnt say anything? I CANT FUCKING READ MINDS!!! I slam my fist onto the counter causing my glass make-up brush holder to fall and break. I sigh, 'I'll never be normal again.'

Once Im done taking a shower I dry off and hoist myself once again onto my wheelchair. I take my clothes from the counter and struggle like always to do a simple task.  Even something as simple as putting my clothes on is hard. 

Then I slip on my combat boot platform heels, which was obviously hard since I cant move from the waist down. After that I wheel my way over to my broken make-up brush holder and pick the brushes up. I'll clean that mess up later. I then head to my vanity to do my make up. 

It was cute and simple, just the way I like it. I groan, 'if only my life could be cute and simple.'  Im ready to go, so I head out to the kitchen to meet my parents. We've had off and on conversations. Their nothing like how they used to be though. Im just not the talkative girl I once was. People want me to talk about my feelings, about the event, and about.... him. Im not ready for that and I dont think I'll ever be ready for that. You go through that traumatic life changing event and tell me if you can fucking talk about it. Tell me if you can tell people how your feeling. I mean is emptiness a feeling. Is numbness a felling. Will anyone truly understand? I doubt it because not one person I've met has been through a traumatic event. 

I enter the kitchen and see my parents already eating. I park myself into the spot with no chair. No point in struggling to hoist myself into a chair when I can simply just drive my wheelchair into the spot it once was. Anything is what I'd do to be able to do a simple task like that. Once I quietly finish my breakfast I head to the front door with my family. Well as much of a family we can be. I've notice how once I distanced myself from them that they've been having arguments. It hurts knowing Im most definitely the reason they'll divorce each other.  I hope this opportunity Jungkook and the rest have given me prevents that. My parents relationship has always been beautiful and what I want when I meet someone. Yet, now I doubt anyone will want me. I mean look at me! Im broken as hell! 

Soon we're in the Bighit parking garage. My heart is beating so fast that everyone inside the building can hear it. My dad gets out of the car and quickly gets my wheelchair out. Once he gets it to me I get myself in it. They know I dont want to help so they stand to watch as I do it myself in case something happens doing so. Depending on people is horrible. Like Im......different. I know I am since Im paralyzed, but I want to show im strong. Even though im not because deep inside I just want to give up on living in general. To take all the suffering thats inside me and end it all. If I told my parents that Id be stuck in therapy again. I dont want to talk about it. Why should I? Does it bring my legs and passion back? Hell no it doesnt, so whats the point!

We step inside the building. My mother struts her beautiful figure to the receptionists counter. Shes beautiful in every way. Nice body, beautiful features, confidence that can silence any man. Its no wonder she did modeling before becoming a doctor. When I was little Id look to my mom and wish I could have that confidence. Now looking at her I really wish I could. I accomplished that wish when I got my dream but now that Im like this it vanished. Its never coming back. Sadly I cant have my role models confidence.

"Hi, we have an appointment with the CEO," my mother says in her business tone that I always loved hearing. A hard working woman making sure people know where she stands and not to test her. The young woman nods and starts to direct us to his office. We're so close to the door. I want to stop pushing my wheelchair but I keep moving forward. I wont show weakness. Ive showed enough, so I cant show it here. The receptionist knocks and then opens the door once we all hear a man say, "come in".

A smile appears on his face as the door shuts behind us. My stomach turns with nerves. Thoughts surge through my mind. Their all over the place. Hes gonna say theres been a mistake and that Im not supposed to be here. Hes gonna tell me my voice and rapping skills are great but since I cant dance im not enough.

Im not enough.

Ill never be enough.

Im just a paralyzed nobody.

"Im glad you could make it Mrs. Choi. Ive hear so much about you from the BTS members and you're all over the news, " he says finally. I tilt my head in confusion, but then it clicks. Of course he heard of me from the news as well. ARMYs wouldve put tons of videos up.

I nod to make sure he knows Ive acknowledged what he said. "Im glad to say we're proud to take you in. You'll be making a huge step for people with disabilities. Youre making sure they have just as much of a chance in the music industry as other people do," he informs me and my eyes widen. Im enough and Im helping people like me. Tears roll down my face. My dreams coming true. Im enough for an entertainment business.

"There is something I need to inform you of though," he says. Ahhhh theres the words ive been expecting. "Its nothing bad except I do worry of your mental heath. Because of this I dont want you to stay in a dorm alone. Therefore Ive arranged for you to stay in BTS's spare room," he tells me. I stare at him in disbelief. Hes putting me with BTS? I dont know if I should see this as a good thing or a bad one. Yet, I just nod without a word and he nods as well. I like how he acknowledged how I dont like to talk much. I like how he isnt pushing me into talking to him.

"Great! Ill send my moving people over to collect the boxes you packed," with that statement I nod and we leave. A van follows us home and I cant help but think what itll be like without my parents. I once was ready for that but now im unsure of it.

Once everything's packed away my parents kiss and hug me goodbye. Then I hop into my own van with a personal driver. Holy shit its exactly how I imagined it minus the paralyzed part. I hope everything turns out great and people except me. With that I drift off to a deep sleep.