the table was quiet as everyone scraped at their plates. dan, already had eaten upstairs, just sat there staring holes into the side of his father's head. he was at the point of totally believing this whole thing was just a very long dream.

his father glances at him and dan looks away quickly.

"you've grown so much dan. has it really been that long since i have seen you?"

"not really. just about 20 years, i haven't changed since i was eight, so you haven't missed a lot." he remarks in a sour tone, talking to the table.

he hears the man sigh but he doesn't care. everyone else at the table had continued the quiet eating. a old woman with a parrot on her shoulder had also joined them this morning. she smelled like cat food. tilly just kept staring at him wide eyed.

squawk! awkward! the parrot shouts randomly.

"Mr. Henry! Stop butting into peoples private lives!" the old woman tries to hit his beak but he just flies to her other shoulder.

The room plunged back into silence and dan is left seething. he feels that he was going to boil over any second.

"so....how's your mother?"

"wouldn't you like to know?" dan half growls, looking up at him.

his dad had a lot of wrinkles in his face but not around his eyes. you only got those if you had a life if smile or laughter and he doesn't remember thee last time he actually saw his dad full on laugh in the eight years he was with him. but, his dad has told him that long ago that he wasn't as happy as he should be.

"dan, you're old enough to know now that your mom and i divorced, i just want to know how has she been doing." he speaks in a calm voice.

his brown curls were also greying at the sides and a lot in the back. it looks like the grey was trying to swallow his brown color whole.

"she's fine." dan whispers. "why ask about her? aren't we supposed to be catching up like good old times?"

he sighs again. "dan i tried to but you wouldn't listen. i'm sorry you're hurting-"

"I'M NOT JUST HURTING!" he shouts,  tilly jumps and grabs her father's arm. "YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO FIND ME AGAIN BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO!"

his father looks at william and william ushers tilly and the old woman away from the table. dan's hands were shaking, tears threatening to spill over as his adam's apple bobbed. his father turns his body to him.

"it's okay son, let it out." his father coaxes.

then the dam flood opens and dan crumples in on himself, the heart wrenching sobs shaking his body. his father's long lost comforting hands rub small circles on his back that tugs at his heart.
"i-i-i h-hate you!" dan sobs clutching hard at his pants leg.
"i know, let it out."

——

when every someone gets done crying hard for a very long time, it feels like you need to cry more but you don't have any tears to produce. your head feels lighter but your temples are also pounding. you feel weak, like you don't want to move for the next ten years.

that's exactly how dan feels as he is resting his head on his father's lap. they had been talking every now and then as his father continues to run his back. somehow they ended up on the kitchen floor.

"do you want me to drive you back to your home? it's getting late. maybe i can stop by and say hey to your mother."

dan lies so easily it seems like he didn't even know he was lying. "she's on a business trip and i moved out several years ago, but i know a place you can take me."

"oh..okay. well how did you come here anyway?"

the pale face popped up in his mind. that raven black hair and those light blue green eyes. he could've cried again but he was to tired to.

"something just led me here i guess but.." he sits up and wipes the wet and dry tears from his face, "if you drop me off at a bus station i'll be fine."

he gives him an eye. "are you sure? i could just drive you there."

dan wasn't at all ready to tell him about his relationship with anyone. that was a personal part of his life that he liked to keep personal for now. "yea. let's go."

in the car it was quiet. the houses had started looking familiar again 30 minutes into the drive. dan still didn't know what he was going to say to phil.

"it was good meeting you finally after all this time dan. you've grown so much." his rough hand reaches over to rub his shoulder.

for some reason that makes dan feel queasy. "um. yea. i think the next bus stop is coming up right here."

like he spoke it into existence, it appears. dan hastily climbs out with his few belongings. he slams the car door and the window rolls down.

"call me whenever you need to dan." i'll pick up i promise. or just stop by sometime.

"sure." dan lies.

he drives away and dan sighs. it was probably only 15 minutes to phil's house. he might walk just to give himself more time to think. he only starts trudging a few blocks when a scream is heard from the woods.

"no! let me go!"

he knew that scream. dan drops his bag and runs. "alex!"

oh no