phil's pov

an alarm rings on the beside and phil, half asleep, blindly reaches for the solidness of his phone to turn it off. he sighs and stretches his arm across the expanse of the bed. nothing. he opens his eyes to find it bare.

he was gone.

phil sits up slightly and stares at the left side of the bed. waking up by himself shouldn't feel so foreign to him since he's been doing it for years, but it was, and he hated it.

his fingers graze the side of the pillow that still had a small indention from where his head used to be. in fact, the whole side had taken on his body shape. phil sighs, and leans his body to the pillow. it smelled like him. he doesn't now why he expects imaginary hands to appear and play with his hair like before but he hopes for it.

he was gone.

his eyes flick to an oversized coat, shirts, and sweatpants lying on the floor. he had basically forgotten everything. was he okay? he should've least called him and asked him if he made it somewhere safe. but no, phil had seen the way the light and brightness in those eyes, those coffee brown eyes with a hint of copper, had broken into tiny pieces when he had opened the door for him and when he had tried to say something, he had shut it in his face.

he wasn't coming back.

"oh dan..." he whispers.

alex was already at the table eating when phil had came down the stairs dressed and ready for work. he put on a smile for her as he sits at the table.

"i was going to make breakfast honey." he says as he picks up his fork.

"yea but you didn't." alex replies nonchalantly.

he smile drops as it grows quiet. the sound of the two of them eating was prominent in the small kitchen. phil finishes the bite of his eggs before he speaks up. "are you okay?"

she puts down her fork and stares at him. "are you?"

"hey..this isn't about me."

"you can't just say that it is because i know it is. you're hurting."

her eyes held worry and pity in them. phil hated seeing that. he smiles softly. "thank you for thinking about me but i'm fine, everything is-"

"you tell me 'everything is fine' and i swear i'm going to throw something at you." her outburst made phil jump slightly.

"alex..."

"i just want to help." she looks away from him, "let me help."

phil gets up from his chair and walks over to her. he turns her chin towards him and brushes the dark hair out her face. "you can't help because there's nothing to do."

alex blinks before hiding her face in his chest.

"besides.." he strokes her hair, "this is what you wanted anyway right? two plates?"

the instant it left his mouth he regrets it. it struck a cord with her and she pulls back to glare at him.

"are you saying this is my fault?"

phil backtracks immediately. "no that's not what i'm saying at all! i'm saying that this all came back to us.. back to normal."

she stands from the table and grabs her book bag from the floor. "the bus is coming, i'm going to be late."

"alex wait!" phil shouts as she stomps to the door. "i did this for you."

"oh bullshit!" she whips around, her eyes blazing with anger. "you love him!"

phil pauses shocked.

"for once in your life dad, stop doing everything for me and think about yourself sometime. you let the only person that ever made you smile besides me ...walk out the door!"

"a-alex." phil stutters.

she opens the door. "and now you have to live with that for the rest of your life."

she walks out and it slams shut behind her. phil leans against the kitchen frame for support.

he doesn't move when he hears the bus stop and then continue on.

he doesn't move when his phone blares another alarm that he's late for work.

he doesn't move when his phone rings, probably work.

he doesn't move at all. just thinks.

i'm hungry

~alivia