❛ I cant live with myself  ❜ 

Andy had logged onto her laptop moments after steve paid her a visit. She knew she had to do her part as an Avenger for this mission but to also do her part for her parents. She needed the truth, and she was determined to get it, even if that meant enrolling into life under a fake background. Before she clicked 'submit' on her file, she looked it over once more.

NAME: ANDY DUBOIS
AGE: FOURTEEN
SEX: FEMALE
BIRTHDAY: MAY 16, 2001
GRADE: 09
ADDRESS: XXX 5TH AVENUE, QUEENS
SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER: XXX XX XXX
PARENT / GUARDIAN: THOMSON DUBOIS
PHONE NUMBER: (XXX)XXX-XXXX & (XXX)XXX-XXXX

She left out the minor details, the details that would contradict who she really was. Sure, her name was Andy Dubois, and that might have been her accurate birthday and age. Hell, even the address was real. But Melisande was on the record for school only, and as far as everyone else knew, she moved from Mississippi a week ago and with her all of her middle school 'records' that were also false and fake. Her father was fake, Thomson didn't exist. If she had said her father was Franco, people would look him up and discover he was dead, along with his wife. She had made a file for 'Thomson' as soon as she went off the grid herself, she needed to be precautious. She never had the heart to erase herself from existing in her parent's records, so she changed her name on her file. Other than that, there was no Melisande Dubois in the world. But if someone were to look through her parent's death records, they would find that they had a daughter named Melisande Dubois. But if they searched her, nothing. She needed to become Andy Dubois. And she would. Andy also didn;t include that she lived in Brooklyn when her parents were alive because that would reveal unwanted truths. All the information she did give was enough so that no one would ask questions, but even less so no one would grow suspicious.

The two phone numbers she provided were hers and Steve's. Steve was her emergency contact if she ever needed to be signed out, so in other terms, he was Thomson Dubois. She had finished packing her mobile technology and equipment into a suitcase with her clothes about an hour ago.

Tomorrow was Wednesday, the first day of school. Andy had skipped all of middle school so her records of grades -Straight A's- were a fraud. She had been studying everything one should need to know about high-school, including terms and customs, for the past days and she felt absolutely ready when she got a perfect score on the test Steve designed for her when he came over to help her with anything she needed yesterday. When she fell asleep last night, she felt a rush of nerves and it made her fear that maybe she was excited for a new adventure. She gave up so much when she went off the grid. She sacrificed happiness, love, a family, and the chance to have a normal life with school and friends. Grief did that to her. But now Steve was asking her to try and get those back for at least one last mission. Andy was worried that she wouldn't want to go AWOL if she enjoyed her new life. That was the one thing she was afraid of. But on the other hand, it may be fun to live with the Avengers again and not be so alone all the time. Her only friends were Pappy and Delmar so a change might be fun.

Besides, Wanda was still experiencing pain from the death of her brother a few months ago, and it may be nice to comfort someone who knows what she feels.

•••

After a grand tour and map instruction of the upstate facility, Andy had settled into her room that bordered the room of Wanda. She had already unpacked her things and hung two picture frames on the wall. One of her and the team before the Battle of New York, and one of her and her parents. For the past years, Andy had lived by herself in an apartment. She was used to having her own kitchen, and bathroom, and living space in general. She was used to being alone. So sharing her life with other people would prove to be more difficult, but she had convinced herself it was all worth the cause of discovering what happened to her parents.

Andy entered her room, an overwhelming sense of déjà vu flooding into her mind. The last time she had been living with the Avengers was before the Battle of New York when she took herself away from existence. The other factor of her déjà vu being the last time she had ever lived with people and had her own individual room was in Brooklyn with her parents.

Tracing her hand along the gray boarded wall, Andy finally sat down on the navy blue colored comforter, rolling the fabric in between her fingers.

Andy's parents had prepared for the worst and had given her videos to get her through everyday life in case something ever happened to them. They were video diaries, to be specific, and they had one for every possible scenario. Remembering these videos, Andy went to her desk and grabbed her military-proof laptop, plopping back on her bed. Every video Andy had ever watched made her cry or smile, they made her remember the good times. Some of the videos were simple, such as: open on your eleventh birthday, open when you get hurt, open when you are sad... happy... lonely... angry... confused... hurt... betrayed, open on your first day of high school, open on your first date, open on your first bad grade, open on your first difficult decision, open on... open on... they all continued, there were hundreds of videos. Many she had already seen, but some she hadn't and was waiting for something to happen. There were a few for when she got into a fight or stopped one. The first video she had ever watched was: open if something happens to us, and then open when you move from Brooklyn, after it. Some videos were unpredictable but it was like her parents knew they were going to happen, and Andy was overjoyed that in a way they were still with her.

Logging into her computer and clicking through files on her desktop, Andy was welcomed by the list of the videos ranging in alphabetical order. She scrolled down until she reached Open On Your First Day of High School and clicked on it twice, opening a motion picture. The first thing to pop up was an image of her two parents smiling, their heads tilted in sync.

"Hi, sweetie!" Marian smiled, waving at the camera, a large smile on her face. "Hey, beau," Franco beamed, kissing the palm of his hand and 'blowing' it towards the camera. "Hi, maman et papa," Andy whispered, catching the kiss her father threw her and closing her hand to save it. "We love you, baby girl! " they said at the same time, never letting their eyes leave the camera. "Now, we know it's your first day of high school and it's going to be a big change!" Marian told her, her voice cheerful and excited. "If you're watching this then it means we couldn't be there with you right now even though we really want to!" Franco added, his voice lowering and his eyes glancing over to his wife.

Marian took a deep breath and wiped the tears forming in her eyes, "But don't worry because the family you're with now will take care of you," she told her. Franco chuckled, "And as screwed up as American High School can be because I went to school in France, you will be great! Just, you know, don't get yourself in trouble," he shrugged. "Oh! Before your persistent mother takes over..." Andy laughed and squinted her eyes to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. "If you get in any fights, you better win."

"Papa was right, Melisande. You are our little light, you understand? You will be the best person you can be! And I know, you will do what is right. If we're on this screen and not with you, that means something happened to us and stole us from you. But you will always be with us, and us with you, bébé. You are the smartest girl I have ever met and I know you will do well with your skills, who knows, you might even become an agent one day!"

"Don't reveal too much, Marian," Franco laughed, placing a hand on her shoulder. Andy smiled at her parents and felt her lip begin to quiver. Tears spilled from her eyes and wettened her cheeks, soft whimpers leaving her mouth. Steve watched from the doorway, leaning on the door frame to listen to what the parents were telling their child. "Oh, Franco, don't steal the spotlight away from your daughter. Look at me, Lis, look at me, précieux, high school is a big step. It's filled with wonders of the world, your greatest friends, but it is also filled with the scariest of people. Just know that the light shines, honey. Sometimes you just don't see it. You hear? Do you hear me, bébé?"

Andy nodded and wiped her cheek, "Oui, maman, je vous entends," she replied, brushing her fingers over the red haired woman's face. "Before we go, beau, I want you to know that whatever you decide to do in high school will never make us think any lower of you. You are our agent, and you will use your gifts to fight for what you believe in. You are going to be Melisande. You are going to be an amazing gift to the world and grow up to be an agent of any crime, whether it be behind a computer or in the field. Please, beau, promise me that you will believe in yourself and be the best you," Franco begged.

"I promise, papa. I promise," she softly said. The two parents glanced to each other before looking back at the camera, their smiled dim and filled with sadness. Marian had tears down her cheeks and Franco looked proud but heartbroken, "We love you, précieux. We love you so, so much," Marian cried. "Be the best you, Andy," Franco continued.

Then at the same time, they both shouted, "We love you, Lissy! And we miss you so much!" Then Franco put his hand over the camera and the only sound was the crying of Marian. The screen went black and the video stopped, causing Andy to cry out in pain of her parents being gone. They were indirectly telling her to be an Agent of SH.I.E.L.D. and she didn't even realize it. She was too busy focusing on their words in the moment. Marian was broken at the realization that the video diaries meant something happened to them and they wouldn't be able to watch their child grow. And Franco was trying to put on a strong mask but it was cracking under the pressure.

Andy slammed her laptop shut, then pushing it to the edge of her bed in anger. She was angry they were gone and that she didn't know the truth. She was angry that she didn't have the chance to grow in front of them. She was angry! And no one understood that, which made her angrier.

She brought her hands in front of her mouth, letting out a string of cries and weeps. She was rocking herself back in forth, trying to understand what she had watched. At that moment, Steve walked into the room, silently shutting the door behind him. He planted himself on the bed next to Melisande who was clenching her eyes shut to let the tears fall. "Please, just go," she pleaded, knowing he was waiting for a right time to speak. "Please! You don't understand! You don't get it!" she cried out, finally revealing her face to him. "Mel, pushing someone away is not going to make you feel less lonely," he admitted.

"They're gone, Steve! I have tried so hard to understand that! I have tried so hard to move past that! But I can't! Because I know that somewhere out there, they didn't die in a fire! And I can't live with myself knowing that people believe that!"

"Look at me, Mel. Look at me, okay? Someone wants you to believe they died in a fire, someone wants you to believe that. We don't believe that, do we?" he asked. Andy shook her head and tried to slow down her cries and even her breaths but she was too overwhelmed that she couldn't. "No, no we don't. So we are going to find the truth, and we aren't going to stop until we do. But you are a time bomb, and if you blow up then no one will be able to find out what happened to your parents," he explained.

Mel looked up at the ceiling, letting the warm droplets cascade down her cheeks, making them glisten in the sun peeking through the curtains. "Come here," he told her, scooting closer so he could give her the hug she needed. Her fingers clenched onto the back of his shirt, her nails piercing through the fabric. The only sound in the room was Steve's breathing and the sobs of the girl before him.

So much for the last day of Andy's 'normality'.