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IRL
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❝Do you guys just want to sleep over? My parents aren't here for the weekend, so you can stay if you want," Lea suggests as the end credits of Let It Shine roll. This is the umpteenth time they've watched the movie and the group of teenagers have yet to become bored of it. The only boys awake to answer Lea's question were Matt and Nick— Chris fell asleep right before Cyrus submits his CD to Roxie's contest. Nick tiredly murmurs a 'yes', before quickly dozing off onto Leanna's couch.  Leanna exhales deeply before turning her head towards Matt.

"You're not tired?" Leanna asks Matt while taking a handful of popcorn that Nick made from the bowl on the table, into her hand.

"Not really, I'm sort of hungry though," Matt responds, he sighs taking pieces of popcorn from Lea's hand.

"Do you want to go to McDonald's?" Lea offers, standing up to stretch. She looks down at Matt and sees him shaking his head.

"I don't really feel like driving right now, to be honest," Matt replies, rubbing the excess butter from the popcorn onto his joggers.

Lea opens her mouth to suggest the idea that she could drive them to McDonald's, but Matt starts to speak again, "No offense, but I'd rather die than have you drive me somewhere," Matt suppresses a smile as he stands up from the couch before continuing, "You're sort of a shit driver, Lea."

Leanna scoffs, shoving Matt's arm, "You're the one that taught me most of what I know," Lea guffaws, walking out of the living room, and into the kitchen. Matt trails behind her, laughing.

"Lea, you had to take your test four times," Matt explains sitting down on the chair near her kitchen island. He watches his ex-girlfriend as she opens the fridge, grabbing eggs and butter.

"But I passed, didn't I?" Lea asks rhetorically, shutting the door to her fridge.

"Barely," Matt mumbles. He watches Lea grab pancake mix and chocolate chips from her pantry.  He glances briefly at his hands, then back at her, watching her dump the pancake mix into a bowl. She looks cute when she's concentrated, Matt thinks to himself. His eyes flicker down to her lip that she's biting. He knew it was one of her nervous ticks, he remembers in sophomore year when she almost chewed her lip raw before her Biology exam. He had to buy her at least 3 Burt's Bees chapstick and they couldn't kiss for a week (which was the worst week of his life). She's cracking an egg into the bowl when he finally speaks up.

"What are you doing?" Matt asks, striding over to where Lea resides. He leans his weight against her fridge as she continues to crack another egg into the bowl. Lea turns her head in Matt's direction and smiles softly before answering.

"Making chocolate chip pancakes."

"You don't like chocolate chip pancakes," Matt states, grabbing a cup from her kitchen cupboard to fill with water. On the ex-couple's first anniversary, he decided to surprise her with breakfast and made chocolate chips pancakes. At the moment, she said she loved them, but it wasn't until two months later she revealed the truth. In Lea's defense, when she was nine she ate way too many chocolate chip pancakes and threw up. It was from that day that she promised herself to never eat them again. Up until she saw how excited Matt was about her breakfast surprise— he spent over an hour trying to prepare everything and she couldn't bear to tell him the truth at that moment.

"They're for you, you said you were hungry," Leanna shrugs nonchalantly. Matt's heart starts beating a little too fast for his liking upon hearing her response.

Shit, I'm really not over her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

     Leanna slides the plate stacked with pancakes over to Matt. He smiles softly before muttering a small 'thank you.' Leanna opens the fridge once again to get the syrup and whip cream for Matt. She sits down next to him and smiles gently.

"Do you want some whipped cream?" Matt asks, breaking the comforting silence that had formed. Lea nods, taking the whipped cream can from Matt and spraying some into her mouth. She hands it back to him as she takes his glass of water and takes a small sip from it. His eyes scan over her face, noticing some remnants of whipped cream by the corner of her mouth.

"Oh, you still have some whipped cream on your face," Matt says, pointing to the area with his finger. Before he can properly think about it, he reaches over and swipes it off with his thumb. Leanna's breath hitches and she stands as still as a statue. Matt's finger lingers as he slowly tilts his head, his eyes landing on Leanna's lips. Her breathing becomes uneven as she feels Matt's hand cup her cheek. Her eyes flicker down to his lips and she speaks, her voice wavering slightly, "Matt, what—"

"I want to kiss you," Matt proclaims, his pupils dilating. His eyes flitter back to Lea's, trying to gauge her reaction.

"If you don't want me to, then I won't. Just, tell me to stop and I will."

Matt takes Lea's lack of response as an answer and slowly moves toward her. Lea's chest fills with a warm feeling as Matt leans in. Their lips brush together, hesitantly, for what feels like the first time. Hints of Matt's cologne, the one she had gifted him for Christmas last year, swarms Lea's nose; the scent is dizzying. She leans into the kiss, warmth continuing to blossom in her chest as Matt pulls away slowly.

"I still love you," Leanna whispers softly. Her breath fanned lightly across Matt's face. He quickly retracts his hand from her cheek, holding it as if he had been burned.

"I shouldn't have done that," Matt states standing up abruptly causing the chair to scrape against the floor. Leanna cringes at the sound, and opens her mouth to speak but is cut off by Matt, "We broke up and I shouldn't have done that, I'm so sorry."

"What if I don't want to be broken up anymore?" Leanna says, her eyes are trying to find Matt's, but he is looking everywhere but her.

"Well, I think we should be."

"Then why the fuck did you say you wanted to kiss me?"

"I don't fucking know, Lea." Matt spits out harshly.

Leanna clenches her jaw, trying to hold back any tears threatening to come out. She laughs humourlessly, rubbing her eyes.

"Why'd you break up with me?" Lea asks suddenly, her body is turned towards Matt as he continues to avoid her eyes.

"I told you the timing wasn't right and we'd just be better off as friends—"

"That is such bullshit, Matt!" Lea accused. She stands up walking in his direction, "What was off about our fucking timing?"

"Youtube started getting more serious and it just wasn't the right fucking time." Matt barks back.

Leanna shakes her head, "Matt, I just don't understand. You told me you didn't want your viewers to know about us, and I understood that. I supported your Youtube career. So tell me, what about our timing was so off?"

Just fucking tell her. You sabotaged the best thing in your life. Tell her you never stopped loving her. Say it. Tell her you still love her and you're being a fucking idiot right now. Just fucking say it.

Matt opens his mouth to speak, but the words 'I love you' get caught in his throat. He stammers over his words, "I just think we should be friends, ok?"

Tears well in Lea's eyes, as she scoffs, "I don't think we—" Lea starts, her voice cracking as she speaks, "I can't do it. I can't just I can't keep pretending as if you didn't give me a fucking promise ring, Matt. I can't keep pretending as if I'm not still in love with you." It pains her to say what she knows she has to say next.

"I think I need to take a break from our friendship," Lea rushes out, "Being friends with you isn't doing me any good, it's giving me emotional whiplash. You can't ask to kiss me, then a second later tell me it was a mistake. It's not fucking fair Matt." Lea says shaking her head, walking past Matt. He moves to grab her wrist to stop her, but she walks out of the kitchen past faster than he anticipated. He sighs to himself, knowing he fucked up.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

it is all downhill from here tbh

couldn't make them happy THAT quickly what type of author would i be if i did

im sort of leaving the reason why they broke up in the air rn cause its going to be revealed bit by bit but now you guys know that it wasn't something Matt wanted!

until next time <3!