It's easy to say you're proud of a serviceman, but it's impossible to empathise with the affliction that his family feel while he's in action.

The Insatiable Fear

"News have been coming from Kashmir about the skirmishes in two of the northern villages. Army units there are trying to clear off the area and eradicate the militants. Two soldiers and an officer already have become martyrs while trying to capture and kill the militants, who have taken into hiding in a bank building in one of the two villages, while in the other village it's an old school building which is being used by them for hiding. Indian Army personnel have ensured that they'll soon get this matter under control. We can only hope for the Indian Army to soon get done with the operation.
We'll be back after a short break. Till then keep watching 24/7 Indian News."

The reporter on the news channel said before taking a break. It seemed pretty easy for her to say this and the cameras stopped rolling. But for the families of the armymen, it isn't this simple, especially those, whose sons, husbands, fathers, brothers etcetera are present in the action or in the region of the conflict.

Once such family was of Captain Sidharth Mehra's. Since the news of the skirmish in the area where Sidharth was posted at, broadcasted on the news channels two days back, his mother had been spending her days sitting infront of the television set, hoping against hope that the next time the phone would ring, it would be from her son, healthy and alive, and not from his CO or 2IC, or any other officer who inform the family of a martyr about the tragic incident, or that the next doorbell won't bring in the any army personnel to inform her about her son's death.

She had tried contacting the unit base in Kashmir, but it was vain. Sidharth's cellphone was also switched off for past one week, triggering the negative thoughts. And the fact that Sidharth hadn't had called her up on the previous weekend nor this weekend, only added to her worries and distress. Mrs. Mehra's elder daughter wasn't free either, so she only had her husband to lean on, till she hear from her son.

"Don't worry, Aarti, it'll be fine. It's just a skirmish, not a war that Sidharth's life would be in danger. Calm down, and relax! Your son is very much competent and well trained in his work. And then, we don't know if he's assigned in this operation or not. So, stop worrying and have faith." Sidharth's father, retired Colonel Shravan told his wife, trying to sound as convincing as he could. Though, the fear of losing his son had severely gripped his heart, he tried his best to not show it.

"But what if he's present where these militants are? He hadn't have called us since last two weeks. What if he ... ?"
The word trailed off as Aarti couldn't dare to imagine the darkest and the gravest part of her son's gratifying profession.

"Look, from my own experience, I can say that it's not actually a big deal. There must be network problem in the area, his unit is stationed at. Stop worrying so much!" Shravan tried to calm his wife, but it wasn't convincing.

"If there was network problem then he wouldn't have called us every seven days. It's easy for you to say, but not for me! You have never lived with this fear, I have, for all through my life, every time you were on field posting! And now I'm living through it again. My son is away from me and I don't even know if he's safe or not. He's my little boy an..."

"Don't worry, Maa, he'll be fine. I believe that."
Khushali's voice filled the room, attracting Aarti's and Shravan's attention toward her.

Dauntless, she walked toward Sidharth's parents. Just like them, she had heard the news of skirmish in the region Sidharth was posted at, from her father about a day back, who also had informed her about Sidharth's mother's condition. The first thing that she had done was to assure herself that nothing could happen to her fiancé, as he had promised to come back to her. It had taken everything in her to stay stoic and keep her brain from thinking about the worst of worst things, which wasn't the easiest thing to do.

Still maintaining her collected composure, she sat beside Sidharth's mother and assured her again.
"Everything will be fine and I'm sure Sidharth would call us as soon as he gets a chance. And maybe Papa's right, there might be network problem because of which he isn't able to call us."

"I hope so." Aarti could only manage to say.

The room was silent again and the only voices that were echoing around the house, were from the television set, which was being continually scanned for any news regarding the skirmish. Most of the channels had shown only a headline of it, moving on to the bigger headlines and newsmakers of the day.

Slowly, the day passed and it was already past dinner, but still Sidharth's family had no update of him and his wellbeing. It was highly unsettling and uneasy for them to stay without any update of their son, with no sign of the skirmish settling, which had stayed constant for past two days. Even today, the news presenters had only updated about the situation in one of the villages, where three militants were killed along with claiming the lives of one officer and three soldiers, all of whose identities were yet to be revealed by the Army. The detail of the other village wasn't yet been made public, only it was announced that the army troops were trying to get the matter under control.

Seeing the woebegone state of Sidharth's mother, Khushali stayed back with them for the night. She informed her parents about her stay, neither of who posed any objection, understanding the situation.

"Maa, please don't skip your dinner. It's not good for your health." She spoke to Aarti, who hadn't had anything since morning, partly due to her aggravating anxiety for her son's safety and partly because it was impossible for the mother in her to stay peacefully while her son was away from the comforts of his home.

"I agree with her, Aarti. Please have some food, otherwise if your son came to know that you have been skipping meals, then he won't say anything to you, but would give a good hearing to me. And the Colonel in me definitely wouldn't enjoy being scolded by a young Captain."
Shravan tried to lighten up the situation. He being a serviceman, himself, knew well that even if there was something terribly wrong with Sidharth, his family won't informed immediately, since the family of serviceman isn't updated about what he goes through during his field posting, nor is the exact location ever revealed to the family, for obvious reason. So, Shravan knew that it would be better if Aarti gripped herself together, rather than living with the fear of unknown.

And his effort did show a result as Aarti smiled faintly, at last giving in. Quietly, she had her food, before scanning through news channel and internet for any news update, after which she and Shravan left for their room.

Since Khushali was staying at their home as well, they had told her to occupy Sidharth's bedroom, which Sidharth hadn't had stayed in much, pretty much since he enrolled in NDA and then IMA, after which he was commissioned. Khushali had accepted to stay in his bedroom, which would become hers as well after the two become married.

After locking the doors and switching off the lights, Khushali left for Sidharth's room. Just as she entered inside, the memories of their engagement day rushed past her, breaking her stoic demeanour. It hit her finally that Sidharth might be in some tough situation, because of which he hadn't had contacted his family since last two weeks, as opposed to the plausible theory that she and Shravan were believing in of network problem.

She felt air constrict in her lungs as she sat down on the bed. It finally occurred to her, that this was the uncertainty and dubious consequences that Sidharth had forewarned her about. Although, she had seen her mother live with this uncertainty her entire life, it was now that Khushali was experiencing it firsthand and she honestly didn't like it. It made her feel weak and despondent, which she didn't wish to feel.

To make herself feel better, she took out the book from her handbag which she was asked to review by her professor. She flipped the book open to the page she had bookmarked, which made an enveloped letter fall out of the book. She picked it and saw that it was Sidharth's letter that he had sent to her last month in reply of her letter in which she had written about missing him and how the separation wasn't easy for her to handle. His letter wasn't lengthy or detailed, like all his previous letters. It was just three short paragraph, which only reflected the depth of his feelings for her, enough to make her feel better as well as helpless.

Dear Khushali,

I read your letter last night, and honestly, I don't know how to respond to it. But I'll try ... I miss you too, maybe way more than you miss me. I know the distance hurts, but you have chosen this for yourself. And frankly, I'm not gonna throw those clichéd lines at you that you're strong, brave and blah blah. Because I know that you don't want to hear all this, and I won't waste my time and this letter on it as well! I don't really know how to sum up the feelings that I feel for you in just some mere words, but this one paragraph from your favourite book, The Notebook, definitely conveys enough.

"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."

I know it might not be enough, but this is what I found most suitable. And besides, it's you who's doing English Hons, not me, so it's your job to find the perfect quote for our relationship. Anyway, I don't know what else to write so I conclude my letter now.

Take care, and I need you more than you need me. I love you!

Yours Always,
Sidharth.

A lone tear cascaded down her cheek, followed by the sea of tears that she had been holding back for long. She clutched the letter in her hands and cried, allowing herself to be weak and doleful. She was tired of projecting herself as phlegmatic ever since Sidharth had left for his field posting. And worst part was, she couldn't even tell him this as it would make him feel guilty, nor could she tell him how much scared she was of losing him. Because, after all, like he said, she had chosen this life for herself, and he definitely wasn't to blame for it nor did he deserve to see her fragility and vulnerabilities when he was away from home.

Overwhelmed, she continued to cry, not knowing what else to do. The logical and sane part in her, told her that it wasn't really a critical situation, as she and Aarti were considering it to be. Rather, it could be that maybe Sidharth hadn't had any access to any communication device, and maybe because of his work, he might've not gotten time to write a letter. It might as well be true that due to all the tense and conflict hit situation of the two villages, he and others might've been refrained to contact anyone, even their families.

Gradually, it seemed plausible and valid to her, which made her feel better, and she felt confident and positive for her fiancé's life. After few minutes, she wiped the tears off of her cheeks and busied herself in her book, feeling lighter. All the while reading her book, she dared not to think anything about the adverse situations that might've arisen in the area where Sidharth was and hoped it to be all fine.

Till dawn, she continued reading her favourite book, The Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. It was when her eyelids became heavy, she finally decided to sleep, bookmarking the page and reading her most favourite line of the book before closing it.

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are same."

"Khushali? Beta Khushali, wake up, beta."

Khushali heard a faint female voice. Forgetful of the events of yesterday, she sleepily opened her eyes and saw a blurry figure infront of herself. To get a better vision, she rubbed her eyes and saw Aarti standing infront of her, a weak smile on her face. Immediately, she was reminded of the previous days events and she sat up straight on the bed.

"What happened, Maa? Everything's fine na." she anxiously asked, hoping everything to be fine.

"Yes, everything's fine. It's just that your mother called few minutes back to ask if you're going to college today or not. She said she'd inform your friends if you're not attending your classes today." Aarti passed on the message of Khushali's mother to her.

Khushali sighed. The look on Aarti's face had scared her as she thought maybe they had received some information about Sidharth, and Aarti was here to pass on the same to her. But thankfully, it wasn't so and she put on her composure back again.

"No, I'm thinking of skipping class today since I have already submitted all of my assignments. I'll inform Mom." she politely told her to-be mother-in-law.

Her mother-in-law nodded and exited the room, leaving Khushali alone with her thoughts. It felt strange to her that how much just one person could affect her, in a way no one had ever affected her. It seemed insane to her, but maybe that's how she loved him and she so desperately wanted him to know dozens of things which she couldn't convey to him through her letters or calls. And this made her feel slightly guilty, as dubiety of her future loomed around in her mind.

Kitni baatein kehni ki hai,
Hontho pe jo thehri si hai,
Ek roz inhe sunlo,
Kyun aise ghumshum ho...

Some minutes later, she went downstairs. It was time for her to leave for her home and she informed her parents-in-law as well. She did notice that today even Shravan seemed a bit tensed and nervous, which few moments later concreted when she saw the headlines on the news channel.

"The situation in the second village is now under the control and all the four militants have been killed. But unfortunately, like in the first village, here too, an officer and a soldier became martyrs while doing their duties towards the nation, along with one officer and two soldiers being seriously injured. Identities of all the martyrs will be soon made public. Till then keep watching our channels for more news update."

The room was oddly full of deadly silence and Khushali didn't want to stay there more, as it made her feel depressed. But just as she reached for the door knob, the ringing sound of the landline phone spread through the room, that its noise itself brought out the terror and helplessness on the faces of the three people present in the room.

Shravan checked the clock on the wall which showed the time as nine in morning. Hesitant and with shaky hands, he picked the telephone handset. Both Aarti and Khushali mirrored the same expression of despair and perplexity as Shravan answered the call, hoping in their hearts that it wasn't from the place they were assuming it to be.

"Hello ... yes, this is Mehra residence and I'm Col. Shravan Mehra ... WHAT?"

In media section: Kitni Baatein from Lakshya (my current favourite song from my current favourite movie :p).

A/N: Hey, guys! So here's the second part, but it's not the final part as now I have split this story in three parts and the third part will be up in a day or two. The reason for extending it is because I couldn't complete the story in second part and hence decided to extend it.

Do vote and leave your feedbacks!! :)

And does anyone want a third part for 'The Remembrance of Love' in which Kabir and Anaisha finally reunite in afterlife? Let me know! :)