I woke up alone.

Hell I didn't expect much different from last nights revelation.  Aaron's side of the bed was cold which meant he had been up a while, and when he didn't come to bed until late late last night, I could only presume he was avoiding me.

I kicked the mattress in anger and rolled out of bed grabbing his top and my panties. Pulling my hair up into a pony tail, I secured it with a rubber band I knew Aaron used for his big stepping merchandise.

I knew where he would be...

Pushing open the door, I found him hunched over the table painting. He didn't look up and he didn't move from my appearance into the room.

"I say three words and it's as if I've shoved a hot poker up your ass! Why?"

He didn't reply and simply continued to paint.

After I said three small words, 8 letters in total and it was as if I told him I had the plague. Last night, he completely withdrew, even going as far as taking a shower as soon as he moved off me. He shut down, shut off and ignored me for the rest of the night. Then when he got into bed, he may as well have been in another state from how much distance he put between us.

"I cried myself to sleep last night." I informed him. "I never realised I could be silent when I felt so much pain as that. I let you in and trust you, I do one thing, one thing! And that's say how I feel and you cut me off. Why didn't you just call me an uber and shove some cash in my hand?!" I shouted.

"LOOK AT ME!" I screamed making Aaron sit back slightly and look over to me.

"I'm not built to love."

I raked a hand over my face as I took that in. "So what? I'm just a meaningless fuck? Is that it?" I asked.

"No. No I care for you..." He stated.

"But not love.."

"Because I'm not built to l-"

"Bullshit! You love your job! You love your painting! Your camera! Star Wars! All these toys! Why not me?! What's wrong with me?!" I cried.

This whole image of us being like Maria and Zak was crumbling quicker than I could imagine. Okay I never saw myself with a Theo, but maybe us being happy?! A normal fucking couple!

"Nothing is wr-"

"Stop lying to me! Why can't you love me? Maybe not now but in the future?! Why are you telling me that you can't?!"

"Because I can't! Okay! I can't give you what you want. I can't love you like that Luna! Jesus Christ!" He shouted standing up as I approached him.

"Then I'm just meaningless to you! I thought-.. I thought-

"If you want a happy ever after, go fuck Alec." He bit.

His face went to the side as my hand took on a new burn. Gripping it in pain, I let out a cry.

"So do you need money for a taxi?" He asked squaring his face.

"Why give me hope? Why let me fall for you? Wh- Why are you being so cruel?! Three words that's all I said and this is it... After everything Mark has done? Your actions, all this has hurt me more."

I spun and left him in his little studio, I changed my clothes and hurried downstairs as he came out the room.

"Luna..."

"Leave me the hell alone!" I cried grabbing my bag and camera.

I think I wept even more taking that into my hands.

"Luna I didn't mean-"

I slammed his front door before he could finish his words. I ran away. Tears running down my cheeks and a broken camera to my chest.

*****

"Well you look like shit." Alec said walking into my lounge.

My bottom lip quivered just as he pushed a grocery bag onto the coffee table amongst the tissues.

"Oh Luna." He whispered sitting beside me and pulling me into a hug.

"I don't know what I did wrong!" I wept into his suit. He rubbed my back and rocked me gently as I sobbed loudly and cried ugly.

I explained it all to him, even he wasn't sure what the hell was going on and simply settled on listening to me. Alec seemed to understand when I needed a hug, a tissue or a stupid comment.

"It sucks." He sighed.

"W-what?"

"Seeing you like this. I like seeing you happy. Not this puffy eyes and red nosed version. When you're happy, your eyes they sparkle. Now they look so sad."

I sniffled. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be stupid. But I will ask, is watching Marley and Me gonna help the waterworks?"

I shook my head passing him the controller. "Thank you... cause I will say one thing, even I cry at this film. I don't wanna have to use a tissue when you clearly need them."

I laughed and half cried before leaning my head on his arm. "Oh sweetie." He sighed patting my knee.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise to me. Ever. How about something with cars, action and guns?"

"Yeah.." I mumbled.

"Okay." He replied turning onto a film. It was Bad Boys 2.

I smiled slightly as I began to watch it. "There she is..." Alec whispered. "Can I stay tonight, in your spare room?" He added.

I nodded turning my attention back to the TV, but as I watched it, my mind went off..

It landed on Aaron. Wondering what he was doing? If he felt upset or hurt in any kind of way I felt right now?

A few hours later, I was crawling into a big empty bed.

Pulling the pillow across towards my chest, I cried quietly trying to keep it down in case I woke Alec up.

Maybe Aaron can't love? Maybe he thinks he can't love, but he never told me that before I gave it all to him. Now my heart felt like it had been torn into pieces and tossed aside.

Used and abused.

Alec mentioned me taking tomorrow off as well but in all honesty? I needed to be kept busy and if Aaron didn't want me? Then I had no option but to put on my big girl pants and get the hell on with it!