a/n: omg this took forever to write but I was so busy with moving out and work and studying that I did not have the brain capacity to do any writing 💀 thankfully, going on vacation soon so will see u in around two or three weeks 😽😽😽

as always, thanks for commenting/voting! hope y'all stay till the end :)

"Yo, Joy!"

Yerim screeched to a halt in the parking lot of the club, neon pink lights spilling from the entrance coloring Jimin's white shirt and black khakis. He was jumping up and down and waving a hand. That wasn't unusual, though. The fact that he was completely focused on Joy, the very definition of her name reflected on his face, was what shocked Yerim. If she had disappeared, they would definitely already be in each other's arms.

Turning around, she saw that Joy was mirroring Jimin's exact actions, and her jaw dropped. "What is happening?"

Joy literally had to tear her gaze from him to focus on Yerim. "I invited Jimin."

"You told me before." Yerim tapped her mouth. "I'm talking about the way your mouth is about to split your face open."

Her friend immediately pressed her lips into a straight line. "What smile?"

Yerim narrowed her eyes. "Are you two-"

"Irene!" Joy shouted, giving Yerim a sheepish grin, before darting to Irene's side and hugging the distraction. "Glad you could make it."

"Hey." Irene returned the hug, smiling. "I managed to finish all my work."

Yerim joined the little huddle, stopping next to Jimin and pinching him in the elbow.

"Ow," Jimin cried.

She glared at him.

His eyes widened with faux innocence. "Yes?"

"You and Joy?"

At the mention of her name, Joy, who had been talking to Irene, looked over, and Yerim swore that some kind of conversation passed between her and Jimin in that second. She was so close to jumping on Jimin and pummeling him for answers when Irene looped an arm around her. "They've been talking ever since your birthday," Irene whispered.

Yerim stared at Irene in disbelief, and the latter firmly nodded, as if she couldn't be any more correct. Yerim flung a finger at Joy and Jimin. "You two, how did I not know?"

"Irene knew," Jimin accused.

"That's because-'' Irene squeezed Yerim's shoulders. "-unlike a certain person, I've not been distracted by a rich, hot almost-CEO of-"

"I have not been distracted!" Yerim interrupted, glaring at her. "I've just been... occupied."

All three of her friends pushed her at the same time, chortling, "Same difference!"

"Which, by the way," Jimin continued. "We never know what's happening between you and him."

Feeling a rush of heat spread up her neck, Yerim crossed her arms. "Nothing's going on."

"Liar!" Jimin gasped, flinging an accusatory finger at her. "Liar!"

"Don't try to change the subject." Yerim narrowed her eyes at the two culprits. "How long has this been going on?"

Joy and Jimin exchanged another glance before saying, together, "Since we met at your birthday."

Yerim thought back to their interactions and sighed. Maybe she had been distracted because they had been obvious. She pulled Joy to her side, reaching up to whisper, "Has he been treating you right?"

Joy's eyes literally melted as she nodded.

"Good. If anything happens, tell me. I'll personally murder him." Turning to Jimin, she flashed a smile, dripping with everything but nice intentions. He lifted an eyebrow in return. "Let's go, then." Any progress was halted, though, when three sets of hands clamped on her shoulders and pulled her back. "Ow! What-"

"We're still waiting on someone," Joy explained.

"What?" Yerim paused, seeing another sheepish smile form on Joy's face. "Joy!" She groaned. "Why?"

"Because you're avoiding him."

Yerim frowned. "I haven't. I've just been busy."

Joy lifted a delicate eyebrow. "You've been spending every night for the past two weeks at the nursing home, which, before you say is common, I know the maximum number of consecutive nights you've spent with your mom is four." She looked over Yerim and grinned. "Speaking of the devil."

Whirling around, Yerim felt her heart drop when she caught sight of Jungkook, who was casually strolling his way to them, hands stuffed into a pair of black jeans that seemed to mold to his thigh and become second skin. It was something she has never seen him wear before. Coupled with a light pink shirt, a silver necklace, and an artfully mussed-up hair, Jungkook looked so attractive, she wondered how she had never noticed before. Did everyone else notice?

"Hey," Jungkook greeted the group, but his eyes were on Yerim, slowly scanning her from head to toe. Her sleek and neat ponytail, her gold hoops, her black corset dress, and her stilettos. By the time his eyes made it back to her face, they were molten, burning her up even from across a distance. "Hope I didn't miss out on much. I got held back for a minute."

Joy beamed, shaking her head. "Nope. We were just talking."

Yerim was still trying to process him.

"Thanks for inviting me."

The last time they talked was at Jean's place, after he explained to her that Jean needed help moving. Ever since then, they had both been busy with work, so they hadn't had a chance to have the talk Yerim promised him. In truth, though, she was glad for that excuse. She knew she eventually had to talk to Jungkook, but the later she had to, the better. Explaining to Jungkook why she wasn't ready for a relationship, yet, required delving into her past, and she didn't think she was ready for that.

Besides, she wasn't sure how Jungkook would react to a confession and not a relationship. Would he be even more disappointed in her? Would he eventually be annoyed by her? Wasn't it better to wait until she had a definite answer? Too many questions and too little answers.

Joy looked so gleeful. "Of course. I know Yerim is especially happy."

"Let's go," she cut in, loudly. "We're wasting time."

Yerim left before anyone could say anything. Her heart was pounding, louder and clearer than the music pulsing and vibrating off of the club enclosures. As she handed her id to the bouncer, she wondered if her words were too harsh. When the bouncer gestured for her to go in, she turned around, pointed to herself, and shouted, "First two rounds on me." Then, without waiting for a reply, she began her journey to the bar.

She didn't get far, though, because Jungkook sprinted up to her, stopping her with a hand. "Why are you avoiding me?"

Meeting his eyes, Yerim immediately looked away. They had that intense, hawk-like quality again, the same one she was subjected to at the beginning of their fake-dating term. "You've been busy."

"Bullshit." His voice could cut steel. "I haven't seen you in almost two weeks, got all excited about finally getting a chance to be alone and maybe have the talk, and now, you avoid me?"

She almost caved. The past two weeks had been full of ups and downs for her, too. Sometimes, she would berate herself for even thinking about confessing. Other times, she would pick her phone, about to dial his number, and then distract herself with the most useless tasks. It usually happened in the middle of the night, too, resulting in zero sleep.

"Let me buy the drinks first. Okay?" Yerim stopped in front of the counter and scanned the menu, well aware of the way Jungkook watched her every move. Thankfully, the club was loud enough to mask any shakiness present in her voice. "Six vodka shots, please."

The bartender nodded, glanced at the mass of anger next to her, and asked, "Is he bothering you?"

Yerim's eyes widened, shaking her head. "Oh, no. Definitely not. Thank you, though."

"Just tell me if he is." Shooting six shots of vodkas into tall glasses, the bartender laid them in a row and slid the plate to her. "Here you go."

"Thank you." She took the plate and turned around to face Jungkook, who was still staring at her with the same intensity. She was positive that the last thing he wanted was to take a shot, but she still offered one. "Here."

True to her beliefs, he didn't move.

And she knew that he wouldn't budge until he was satisfied.

"I'm sorry."

Jungkook frowned, leaning down. "What?"

She raised her voice. "I'm sorry!"

His expression didn't lift.

Yerim exhaled, gaze darting to the shots. "I was avoiding you because I was scared." One of her fingers tapped with no inherent pattern against the underside of the plate. "It's been a while since I've felt this... strongly... about someone. Actually, I don't even remember ever feeling this way, at least not since..." She looked up and swallowed. "Can you give me some time to get my thoughts together? Give me until the end of the night."

Jungkook softened a fraction. "I didn't mean to rush you."

"I know." She nodded. "I understand."

"I'll wait for you, then, however long this night takes to end."

A surge of affection and appreciation overtook her, quickly replaced by guilt because she wasn't sure if she was even ready. That didn't matter, though; she owed it to Jungkook to tell him her true feelings. "Thank you," she whispered.

He grinned, flicking her in the forehead. "I can't hear you, but you're cute."

Yerim pretended to scowl. "Ow."

Laughing, he took the plate. "Come on. Your friends are waiting for the shots."

Yerim nodded and followed Jungkook as he weaved through the dance floor. His body was hunched over the plate, and he was avoiding flying elbows and hands as if the plate was his pot of gold. It was so like Jungkook to be careful and meticulous in every task he did that her heart ached. She wondered how she got to know someone so patient, so kind, so understanding. She wondered how she got so lucky. She wondered if she could live up to his standards.

The rest of her friends were surrounding a round table, all of them grinning and suggestively wagging their eyebrows. Before they could ask and make the situation awkward, Yerim darted to Jungkook's side and held out two shots. "Anybody?"

All other thoughts gone, they roared in excitement, and together, the five of them lifted each bottom.

When they finished, Jimin dragged Joy onto the dance floor, the two of them already shimmying and grooving to the beat. Jungkook held a hand out to Irene and Yerim, as if he was a knight courting the princess, and Irene giggled as she pulled on Yerim's hands and led them all to the wildest part of the dance floor.

At first, Yerim kept a distance from Jungkook, not far enough to raise any concerns but definitely far enough to prevent anything from happening. As the night went on, though, and the vibrating music and strobing lights were all her five senses could pick up, she ended up right in front of him. His arms looped tightly around her lower back as they danced to the beat, and before long, his hands were running up and down her back, delving into her ponytail and tugging slightly.

He shouldn't have done that because the sensation felt so good, she arched into him, which in return, caused him to growl and dip his head. Their lips brushed, and she swore the world became quiet to observe this moment. A stage, a spotlight, and a main act. His mouth was soft and firm on her's, and with an ache to increase the pressure, she leaned in more.

That was all it took.

The tension that had shimmered between them exploded like a volcano that had been dormant for too long. His teeth nibbled on her bottom lip, and she moaned, wanting to suck him dry. It was an intense desire, one that left her gasping and murmuring for more contact. He also seemed out of control, crushing her to his body, so that everything hard was against everything soft. They were raging fire, roaring out of the constraints they had put themselves in for-

"Yerim." Irene's voice and touch pulled her out of the fog. "I love this behavior but not on the dance floor."

A dam opened in Yerim, and a flood of embarrassment swept out in big and large waves. She pulled out of his embrace, almost tripping in her haste to get away. It was painful, this separation from them being one, and when she looked at Jungkook, she could tell that he was feeling the same way.

How long had they been doing that? How did Yerim not know a single thing?

Flushed, she escaped to the nearest restroom. The line was long, but mumbling excuses and sorry's, she stumbled past the others and went straight for the sink. It wasn't until droplets of water balanced precariously on her lips, the temperature a stark contrast against the heat of her face, that she finally exhaled. Jungkook was too much and never enough at the same time.

"Hey, you good?"

Yerim looked up into the mirror, wincing at her swollen lips, before her eyes slid to Joy.

"I saw you sprinting across the dance floor like a madman."

Grimacing, Yerim straightened to wash her hands.

Joy sighed, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms. "Jungkook doesn't deserve this."

"I know." Yerim yanked ten paper towels, resisting the urge to rip them to shreds. "I know that, but everytime I do anything, I feel so bad." She chunked the wad of wet towels into the trash can. "I promised myself after finding out about my mom's diagnosis that I would make up years of neglecting-"

"Hold up." Joy scoffed. "I don't know specifically what happened but neglect? Isn't that too strong?"

Turning around, Yerim glared at her. "Fine, but that doesn't change the fact that I ignored her for so many years."

"From what you've told me, you were just pursuing your dreams. Why would she blame you for that?"

If only it was that simple, if only she hadn't, out of purely selfish reasons, purposely left her mom alone, if only she hadn't made excuses to drown in her work and make herself feel better. Then, she would've easily caught the sparse symptoms her mom displayed and stayed with her from the beginning. "I left her alone after my dad left," Yerim protested weakly.

Joy studied Yerim for a second before nodding. "Okay. Let's say that you're right for now. You could at least enjoy tonight."

Yerim could still feel Jungkook's lips on her, his hands gripping her waist, as if she was the last thing saving him from drowning. The pressure and the heat: the only things she could remember. Not being able to enjoy tonight wasn't the issue; it was that she had enjoyed it too much, too hard, too fast. She had spent almost two years conditioning herself to have fun without freezing out of guilt, and yet Jungkook managed to do that in a span of only a few months.

"Hey, you know what your mom was doing when we left?"

Yerim hesitated, wondering why Joy was asking something that both of them knew. "Watching television?"

Her friend nodded. "But also having fun. Rather than feeling guilty, why don't you think of it as a balance? An eye for an eye situation." She gave Yerim a pointed glance. "And that means not sprinting away whenever you and Jungkook do anything."

Yerim felt her face begin to heat up again.

Joy booped her nose. "I wish your complexion was paler. You would be as red as a tomato."

She laughed weakly, scrubbing a hand down her face. Needless to say, she couldn't keep on running away. She still needed to talk to him.

When Yerim left the bathroom, dodging people leaning against the hallway wall and laughing raucously with their group of friends, she didn't see Jungkook until she emerged from the depth of the long line. The moment her eyes landed on him, though, she immediately wanted to dart back into the sea of people. Her heart began to pulse, loud and erratic in her ears, drowning out all noise and rational thoughts. All she could see was that Jungkook had an arm around another girl's waist, mouth bent to her ears, talking as if they had been together for years.

Suddenly, any lingering reluctance she was nursing scattered like a dead leaf in the midst of autumn. She needed to talk to him now. Screw her nerves. Maybe she'll even start with a lecture. So much for withholding the rules of the contract.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Irene, carrying a plate of shots, sidle up to her.

"Next few rounds on me," Irene said, grinning, oblivious to Yerim's inner monster screaming to be let out as she turned around to get two shots. She lifted the bottom, gulping them down without any hesitation, the warm liquid sliding down her throat in a rancid but distracting way.

"Thank you," Yerim muttered before strolling straight to Jungkook. She heard Irene calling after her, asking what she was doing, but she prowled forward, eyes only on one target. Jungkook must've felt her gaze because he suddenly looked up, eyes wide. Whether her bravery came from her jealousy or her shots, she didn't break contact, striding until she stopped right in front of him.

"Hey," Jungkook said, eyebrows raising. Upon closer inspection, she could still see the aftermath of their little make out session: the mussed up hair, the scratch marks, the red lips. Another surge of jealousy engulfed her.

"Hey," she echoed.

"Yerim, you remember Marie, right?"

Her gaze whipped to the girl next to him, who smiled and waved.

Oh my god.

Yerim wanted to slap herself. How could she have been so unobserving? Of course this was Marie with her mane of red hair and deep set eyes; anybody would've noticed from a mile away. They were probably catching up, him bending over to hear better, and she had foolishly thought he was being hypocritical.

"Hi." She cleared her throat. "Sorry. I..." Pointing to Jungkook, she cleared her throat again. "... didn't see. Sorry." She stepped backwards. "I didn't mean to bother you. I'll leave now."

"Actually," Jungkook interrupted, hand circling around her wrist. "I'm done here. Marie, I'll see you around."

Marie nodded, an amused smile lighting up her face. "Yep. Nice seeing you here."

As Jungkook led Yerim out of the club and into the parking lot, Yerim resisted the urge to bury her face into the ground and never surface again. Even the stark contrast between the noisy club and the quiet parking lot wasn't as potent as the raging jealousy she had just felt a second ago.

Silently, he led her to his car, the red color glinting and flashing under the fluorescence lights. Hands firm and certain, he opened the car, situated Yerim comfortably in the passenger seat, before rounding the hood to get behind the wheel.

Finally, Jungkook turned to face her and asked, voice hard, "What was that about?" When she didn't reply, still trying to form words, he growled in frustration. "Yerim, I need you to explain right now because I can't keep on suffering from these whiplashes."

Yerim studied the console, feeling too horrible to meet his eyes. "I wanted to talk to you."

He sounded incredulous. "By running away?"

Exhaling, she gathered the mess in her head and explained, all in one breath, "Yes, I did run but not out of ill intentions. I ran because once again, I let my emotions take over. Because once again, I was too scared to deal with them head on. I like you, though. I really like you. I'm attracted to you. I'm constantly thinking about you." For once in her life, her mom wasn't floating in the back of her mind. "I don't know when it began, but somehow, at one point, I had a thought that I wanted our fake-dating to be real, and that scared me so much, I ran. So, yes, I've been a mess, and I'm so sorry for that. You scare me so much, but I also don't know how to stay away from you."

When she finished, she exhaled, feeling as if a ton of weights were lifted from her chest. It was similar to that time when she blurted everything out at the sushi restaurant. She immediately felt better for saying those words and then regretful for not saying them earlier.

Inch by inch, her eyes traveled from the glint of a belt buckle peeking out of his pant loops to the perfectly pressed pink fabric of his shirt and to his thickset neck. The thought that he was absolutely beautiful briefly formed in her mind and scattered immediately when she registered his face.

Years ago, Yerim's mother, who loved adventure and traveling, came back from seeing one of the seven wonders of the world, showing Yerim pictures after pictures of the site with complete adoration and awe. After her mother was prisoned to bed, she thought she would never see that expression ever again.

The wonder and affection lighting up Jungkook's eyes seemed just as bright, though, as if they were singehandely chasing away the darkness in the car.

Then, faster than light, one of his arms looped around her neck, and she was being pulled forward until their lips crashed together. It was a kiss with the same intensity as the one they shared on the dance floor. A gravitational force between them that was so strong, it refused to be pulled apart ever again.

His tongue ran along her bottom lip before gently separating her mouth, darting in to meet her just as hot and eager one. It was everything she wanted and more, and the feeling elicited a groan from her, which he devoured and responded to with equal intensity.

"Say-" He pulled away just a hair. "-that you like me again."

When she spoke, their lips moved together. "I like you."

The effect was immediate. His hands started roaming, running up and down her body, finding all the crooks and hidden places that were reserved only for moments whispered within the night. Her hands followed his lead, exploring all the muscles that he exercised for, scratching and scouring for more places to hold on to. His breath was hot on her neck as he sucked and licked down the slope to the edge of her collarbone. They were frantic, scrambling for more purchase, as if the world was going to end tomorrow.

Except it didn't end tomorrow; it ended now.

That was an exaggeration. It was just Jungkook's phone ringing, but it was so sudden and harsh that they both froze at the same time. She was halfway over the console, about to climb into his lap. He was looking at her with heavily hooded eyes, as if debating about something. Their heavy breathing matched in intensity and pace.

Jungkook, who probably had been debating whether to ignore the call, made his decision when he grabbed her cheeks, about to lean in for another kiss. Yerim dropped back onto her seat, though, straightening her dress and patting down her hair. "You-" She cleared her throat, embarrassed at the husky quality. "- should probably answer the phone."

He was frozen for a moment, eyes still gazing at her as if she was strawberry ice cream, before cursing and digging his phone out of his pants pocket. He looked at the screen, and his expression morphed to one of annoyance. "What?" he barked upon answering.

Yerim tilted her head back to the seat and closed her eyes.

This wasn't how she thought the talking would go. Maybe they needed to be in separate rooms because for the past few times, every time they approached the topic, their hands and mouths seemed to land on each other. Even now, her whole body shivered from just thinking of their kiss.

She thought about their fake-dating contract, except that it definitely wasn't fake anymore. And she knew one thing for sure: she never wanted it to be fake ever again. She just wanted to sort out the rest of her life before they were official.

When Jungkook finished the call, she went back to her normal position. "Everything good?"

He nodded, although his mouth was pulled into a frown. "My parents. They've been extra annoying about everything recently."

"About marrying Marie?"

"That and other work-related issues." Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, as if it wasn't already messy enough. "I'll deal with them later." He turned to face her, a smile slowly growing. "Let's talk about us. Are we dating? Can I tell everyone you're my girlfriend?"

"About that." When she saw his face begin to shift into an anxious one, she hurried to clarify. "I mean, I do eventually want to have labels, but can we take this slow?"

Jungkook replied immediately, "Of course."

Yerim blinked. That was fast. No questions or anything? She was expecting him to at least ask why he needed to wait. She had even prepared a quick rundown version of what she wanted to tell him, the words sitting on the tip of her tongue.

At her surprise, he laughed. "I said I'll wait for you and I meant it." He paused. "Although, I must admit. I don't think I'll be able to keep my hands off of you."

"You're like a teenager," Yerim snorted, although the grin spreading her lips told him otherwise. If he was a teenager, then she would also be a teenager.

Jungkook leaned in to press a soft kiss against her forehead. "You can't blame me. I finally got you. I can't let you go, yet."

Her heart squeezed.

"I'm not going anywhere," Yerim whispered.