I PULL my backpack over my shoulders, tightening it slightly and venturing out into the streets of Alexandria. I ambled toward the community's large wall, the same wall that I had climbed up countless times. I began scaling the wall, using two small poles that I stuck in between the metal fixtures on the wall.

Jumping onto the leaf-covered ground, I land on the balls of my feet. After adjusting any misplaced clothing, I begin walking into the forest, knife in hand. As I weave through the abundance of tree trunks, I walk heel-toe to avoid crunching the leaves beneath my feet.

Apparently, whoever was following me didn't have the same curtesy, clomping obnoxiously loud behind me. To avoid making it obvious that I know their presence, I take a sharp turn to the left and speed my amble to a brisk walk, looking at my surroundings before stopping in front of a tree. I place my hands on a branch lying closer to the ground than the others, swinging my leg over onto it. After balancing myself onto the shaky branch, I inhale deeply before taking a jump of faith, launching myself towards another, more steady looking offshoot.

Finally resting upon a sturdy tree branch, I glance around for my stalker. When my eyes fell on a borderline comically large hat, I rolled my eyes.

Carl.

He seemed incredibly lost, his head on a constant swivel and his grip tightened on his knife. Adjusting my body on the branch, I lean forward to see him walking around aimlessly, "Looking for someone?" I call out, watching as Carl turns around quickly, his eyebrows furrowing when he doesn't find me.

"Found her." He responded simply, and I move out of his sight when he looks upwards in the trees.

"Why are you following me?" I ask, biting my lip nervously as I glance down at the boy.

"Who says I'm following you?"

"You can't answer my question with a question."

"Just did."

I sigh at his stubbornness, "You should go back. Your dad's probably wondering where you are."

"Your brother's probably wondering where you are." He twists my own words against me. The mere mention of Noah searching around, worried for me, makes my heart drop. Noah's probably been wondering if I was alive since we got split up, just like I had been doing for him, and now that he finally finds me — when we finally find each other — I go wandering into the forest. Maybe Carl's right. Maybe I should go back.

Wait, what? Don't let this dweeb get in your head, Cher. He should be back at Alexandria, too. He's not any better than you right now. What he needs to do it get off of his high horse.

"He'll live." I say, tightening my grip on the branch and waiting until he turns around to drop on the ground. The leaves crunching from the impact of my weight must have alerted him of my presence, because he swiftly turns and looks at me blankly.

"Then my dad will, too." He responds.

"Are you always so snippy?"

"Are you always so evasive?" His eyes burn holes into mine, expecting an answer, but evidently concludes he won't get one when I sigh and turn away. I walk off deeper into the forest, listening as Carl's loud footsteps follow me.

"Do you come out here often?" He inquires after a long beat of fairly awkward silence.

"Yes," I answer simply, not really interested in conversation with him.

"Why?" He speaks, prompting me to look back at him briefly before returning my gaze in front of me.

I release a breath I didn't know I was holding, but I chalked it up to the awkwardness of this conversation, "You ask a lot of questions, Carl."

"I'm a curious person, CJ."

I pause for a moment, licking my chapped lip. I assumed he thought that was my name, since Noah calls me that and that's probably the only name Carl knows me by. It felt different coming from someone other than my older brother, and I didn't like it, "Don't call me that. My name's Cher."

"Alright, CJ." His tone suggested that he was joking, but I for one didn't find it very humorous. Maybe my sense of humor just sucks.

I sigh deeply, stopping in my tracks and turning to meet his gaze. Everything about him angers me and I have no clue why, "I hate you."

"That's harsh."

"Fine. I really, really dislike you. Like, astronomically." I corrected. I didn't give him time to respond before I turn on my heel, weaving through the trees, twigs, and bushes. We walk for a bit longer in silence until our journey is paused by the familiar growl of a walker. We both stop in our tracks, looking over to the source of the sound, to indeed find one of the risen corpses.

Carl takes a step forward and unsheathes his dagger, but I grab onto his arm. He stops, turning to me with a confused look on his face.

"We don't have to kill it. Could draw more." I explained in a whisper, pulling out a baking timer. I crank the knob to 5 seconds, throwing it a little past the biter.

When the timer goes off, it successfully draws the attention of the walker and gives them time to run off. I grab onto Carl's hand, — my grip maybe a little tighter than it needed to be — dragging him along behind me. I couldn't have this idiot trailing too far behind me. His dad would probably kill me if I returned without him.

When we're far enough away, I slow to a stop in front of a fallen tree, turning to Carl. It takes me a moment to realize our hands are still connected, and I immediately break the grip to wipe my hand on my pant leg.

I step forward slowly, my chest still heaving slightly. I slump down against the tree trunk that lays horizontally on the grass, exhaling quickly and staring ahead at the clearing. Carl follows suit, falling against the tree. We sit in a surprisingly comfortable silence before I realize I never answered his question earlier, "I come out here to remember."

For a moment, I thought he was going to judge me when he doesn't answer me with anything more than a pause and a small nod. He opens his mouth to say something, but just closes it again and leaves me wondering.

Nothing he does warrants me to think this, but he has to understand what I mean, right? It's way different inside those walls than it is outside, and as much of a paradise Alexandria is, it won't last long. Nothing ever does once what the world knew as society has been thinned, corrupted, and disregarded by the dead who rule the Earth. We can't forget, because what happens when Alexandria falls and we don't know how to defend ourselves anymore? We'll die, surely, and I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound very appealing to me.

He takes a while to form the words, but he speaks, "I don't want to remember... but I don't want to forget either."

I only hum in response, prompting him to look back over to me. I don't meet his eyes, just staring out into the forest, studying the shadows that the trees left on the ground.

They're interesting, shadows. We ignore them, more often than not. Even though, scientifically, they're only reflections of shades in contrast to the blaring sun, it means more to me. As you walk through the smoking remains of the world, it all seems hopeless, but we continue on anyways. Our shadows go unnoticed by us, but while we ignore them, they're leaving our mark in the Earth. It doesn't matter if you're good or evil, shadows will always leave an imprint on the ground on which you walk.

"What happened to you? Before?" His words leave his mouth in a hushed tone, as if he was ashamed to ask but needed the answer so desperately that he asked anyway.

That's a hard question to answer. What happened to me? What is it that happened to Cher Josephine Jackman that made her so closed off? What ruined her?

What ruined me?

"Nothing."

All I hear is a sigh followed by words, "Bad things have happened to me, too."

I could ask what so horrible happened to him that he could compare it to my troubles without even knowing them, but for some reason I don't. I believe him.

"Bad thing have happened to everyone." I whisper, glancing over to him briefly. His eyes are trained on the ground, his fingers picking at the sleeve of his flannel.

"Not them."

And he's right. Most of the Alexandrians can hardly compare their past to other survivors, having lived peacefully inside of secure walls and free from threat. Swallowing my saliva, I simply nod and avert my eyes to the shadows once again.

"Do you really hate me?" He inquired, his eyes sparkling in a sad sort of way, and I could tell he really meant it. He was genuinely asking if I meant what I said.

As much as I think it'd be funny to see his reaction if I said yes, I can't lie to him when he looks so sincere.

"No."

next . . .         " BRUTAL ENDINGS "