Kalani | Home

I worked until closing which was eight. I went by the Chinese place and got my dinner with a ten-minute wait and just arrived home at 9:09. I was ready to just sit back, relax, eat my Chinese food, take a shower and then go to sleep. Tomorrow I had to open at seven and work until twelve. Luckily, I also get paid tomorrow.

I sighed and sat on my bed thinking about my break.

Who in the hell does Lucas think he is? He thinks he can just show up to my job and try to explain himself! He just thinks that he can leave me, break my heart then try to mend it only because he's here!? I think not! He had no right to show up to my job. When he noticed this wasn't going to work, he should've just ended it. It wouldn't have been this hurtful. He is just so, ugh! I mean I still do love Lucas but the shit he did blinds my love for him.

I tossed my phone down on the bed but something caught my eyes as it rolled off the bed and face first onto the floor. I grabbed my phone and looked at my clear glitter and stars iPhone x phone case. Inside my phone case was a piece of paper. I took the case off and read the paper.

Slick huh?
678-372-8568

No he didn't. I tried to rip the paper but couldn't bring myself to do so. I groaned and put it in my bedside drawer.

I was doing so well without him then he just pops back up and puts my life into a frenzy.

I sighed and began to eat my Chinese food. I heard my door open and Trinity singing. She popped up into my room with a smile on her face.

Trinity: Hey girl.

Me: Sup?

Trinity: Sup? Oh. What's wrong?

Me: Fucking Lucas is what's wrong!

Trinity: Lucas? What could he possibly do if you guys haven't spoken?

I looked at her as she sat at the bottom of my bed and opened my Lemonade.

Me: Well-

I dragged out my "well".

Me: He showed up at my job today.

Trinity: What? How did he even find out where you worked?

Me: I DONT KNOW! I really don't.

Trinity: Well what did he say?

Me: Basically, a bunch of bullshit.

I gave her a short summary of what happened.

Trinity: Wow, that's just crazy. He asked if he could make up two years up to you?

Me: Yeah. Stupid, right?

Trinity: Yeah. Nobody can make up two years to somebody.

Me: That's exactly what I told him! Then he slipped his number into my fucking phone case.

Trinity: Well did you text him?

Me: No. Why would I?

Trinity: I don't know but I mean I would.

Me: Why?

Trinity: Well for one he's cute-

Me: With a girlfriend.

Trinity: Well yeah, sadly. But you guys were dating way before him and Amber. You should at least hang out with him sometime.

Me: I'm good.

Trinity: Okay then but you'll never know if those feelings could return.

Me: For who, him or me.

Trinity: Both of you guys.

I sighed and took a bite of my chicken on a stick.

Me: Even if they do return, he's got a girlfriend. I'll be damned if we date or hang out while he has a girlfriend.

Trinity: Be real with me, are you scared to fall for him and he leave again which will put you back at square one?

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish.

Me: How-why can you read me so well?

She shrugged.

Trinity: You're my best friend, it's kinda my job.

I shrugged.

Me: Eh, yeah true but yeah kind of.

Trinity: I understand.

Me: What should I do?

Trinity: Well, what do you want?

I looked at my black flat screen.

Me: I want him so fucking bad. But I don't want to get in the way of his relationship for one and I don't want to be heartbroken again for two. Being heartbroken sucks. Big time.

Trinity: Well maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you actually feel and go from there.

Me: What if he just laughs or something.

She laughed.

Trinity: Girl, I don't even know him and I know he would never laugh at you for saying your feelings.

Me: Do you even think he still likes me?

Trinity: Girl, if he didn't still love you, he wouldn't be going through this shit just to talk to you. Honestly, he would've stopped talking to you after you smacked him...three times.

I shrugged while nodding.

Me: Eh, yeah true.

Trinity: So just shoot him a text whenever you're ready and go from there.

I nodded.

Me: Okay.

Trinity: Well, I got work tomorrow, so I'm gonna go home and relax before I wear them heels for like a thousand hours.

I laughed.

Me: Well if you weren't a stripper, you wouldn't be wearing heels for what would seem like a thousand hours.

Trinity: Girl you should try it. You get hella cash in one night girl.

I laughed.

Me: I think I'll stick to Starbucks. Just keep making enough so my baby will be supported.

She laughed.

Trinity: You mean our baby? And girl you know our baby gone be hella supported. With all that money you got and my stripping, our baby gone be okay for fucking ever.

I laughed and rolled my eyes

Me: Sure, our baby and whatever. I don't even got alot of money.

Trinity: Bitch I saw your bank account balance when I had to go to the ATM and you are way over five hundred thousand dollars.

Me: So?

She rolled her eyes.

Trinity: Just shut up.

I shrugged.

Me: Okay.

She got up.

Trinity: I'm about to leave now but remember what I said, okay?

Me: Okay. I will. Safe drives.

We hugged and she left. I cut on my flat and began to watch something on the Roku channel.

3:21 am

I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning while thinking of Lucas and debating if I should text him or not.

I mean I wouldn't mind seeing him in person again but I just don't want that feeling in the pit of my stomach again. I don't want to feel the happiness I get when I see him. I don't want to feel the madness again. I don't want to feel the love again. I don't want to feel any of that again.

But for some reason, I'm still pulled towards him.

I sat up and hesitantly grabbed the piece of paper that was in my nightstand along with my phone. I looked at the paper before deciding to just text him.

Still tryna hang out ?
Kalani ; 3:24 am

- - - -

Chapter 5

I don't have anything to say here.... what a bummer.