You're falling faster now
Almost underground
I can't believe my eyes
It doesn't make sense

Everything's different
Are you happy now?
I feel forsaken
You're not yourself

Anymore
I don't even know you
Anymore
Is no one safe from you?
Can you hear me?
You're staring through me like you can't see me
Anymore
Anymore

Your words can cut so deep
I can't stop the bleeding
Do you find pleasure in
In watching me scream?

I feel the sting
Are you happy now?
Nothing is sacred
You're not yourself
Anymore

Look at me when I am talking to you
You never listen, never follow through
Look at me, I'm talking to you
You never listen, you never listen...

~~~~~
Yeah, you have permission to ignore that. That's just a song that kinda made me want to keep on writing this. YOU KNOW...MUSIC IS WHAT INSPIRES ME AND KEEPS ME GOING.

N O W.

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY A FEEEEW THINGS.

I know this book sucked, so thanks for reading it! :3 Your comments always mean a LOT to me! Especially when you make me feel like Satan. I just die laughing and decide to keep writing. I'm sorry if I spammed with chapters this weekend too. It's literally all I've been doing (other than sleeping for hours, eating, reading, texting, watching YouTube, piano...)

Just thank you so so so so so so so so so so so much! ^•^

I'm not sure if I'll be doing ANOTHER book yet. I mean, I already have chapters planned for another one. And honestly, I don't care if nobody wants to read it xD

It's kinda...different..? But it's still an Ichimatsu fanfiction.

I just had to add that song in. It was playing as I wrote this, and it made me want to cry. Heck, I've listened to it hundreds of times xD...

I CRY EASILY, OKAY. DO NOT JUDGE ME.

(No, judge me all you like. In fact keep on reading if you want to judge me more.)

So, while writing this, my mind was pretty much focused on just three things.

1. Amnesia
2. Alcohol/drugs annnnd
3. Cancer

I mean, I've never had amnesia, and I've TOTALLY NEVER BEEN ON DRUGS. (I'm so not taking meds every day :,D THATS NOT DRUGS THOUGH...JUST ASTHMA MEDS...)

And well, I've KINDA had an experience with cancer before. Not personally, but when I was little, my mom was really close friends with this lady she used to work with.

She used to send me all different kinds of things she had gotten whenever she would take a trip to Germany, but one day that all stopped.

My mom had to explain to me that she was "very sick".

She had lung cancer. And several months later, she died. My mom had gone to see her, and she didn't look like the person she even knew.

Now, IM NOT TRYING TO GET FREAKING PITY. THAT'S JUST THE CANCER I HAVE DEALT WITH.

Sometimes I honestly wish I COULD get cancer. But then I think of my future. Where would I even get? I wouldn't be able to focus on piano or writing very much, would I?

Eh..it's such a hard decision. For awhile, I wanted to give myself a concussion, or even hit my head just right that I fall into a coma for several months. Just to escape everything. I feel like I'm trapped in a web of depression, you know? And there really isn't an "escape" you just kinda...get out over time, don't you? Heck if I know. It's been like this for me since 2014.

Some days are great, others are terrible. It doesn't hurt as much anymore though. Maybe I'm just used to it :,D

But ANYWAYS...THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH

ALSNCOSSOVOSO I DONT THINK THIS BOOK WOULD HAVE EVER EXISTED IF IT WERNT FOR YOU.

~ Petunia Paisley