Fatty

I was walking as I pulled myself together or tried to. It is the first time I was going to be appreciated on such a scale. I was only trying to help Pamir on his 'P-cap' project, but I did not know they will sign a contract with me as they did in the morning for another project and later they invited me to the launch party for their system's release, personally. I mean as a Pakistani underground hacker it was a big thing for me. The recognition was hard to find in Pakistan because of the typical reason, '9 to 5 job is what you need', and if people like me try to do something else, family pressure comes in because trying to build your way is plain stupid and one should just get a job.

The way we treat people in Pakistan is wrong. These people highlight the smallest thing they do like achievements, but in Pakistan, we are always expecting people to do better from what they are doing at the moment, and that is not fair. Sometimes people want to be acknowledged. Yet the Asian mentality on the people makes it hard for us as they completely ignore how someone is trying. The problem is not with the country but with the people. Pakistan has so much potential, but the Desi mentality is what puts us down. We find flaws first instead of encouraging each other. I hope when I go back, I can help people like me, and create the Pakistani that Pakistan deserves.

I am happy that I was able to change the perception of some people here who did not have that great of an image about Pakistan or Pakistani people but cannot really blame them, humans have the tendency to believe in rumours, be it from media.

I mean it was funny when Pamir introduced me to them because they were surprised that a random and not a well-known computer hacker from Pakistan not only fixed the errors that they had in their system but also developed a back-up wall that they never thought they might need in the future. What can I say about Pakistani people's brains, we know all our grounds that's why we are pretty spontaneous. Chachi Jaan always says, ghee seedhi ungli say na niklay, to ungli tari karlayni chaye.

"You cleaned up nice." I heard a soothing voice from behind me and instantly without even looking, a smile took over my face.

"I knew, this suit will suit me after all, I asked someone who knew what she is buying," I commented as I turned towards her with a shrug. There she was with the brightest of the smile. That was the problem I could forget everything with that one smile. As if this one smile can remind you, to never stop hoping that everything will be fine, that Allah will never let you go. The funny thing is, Jeena constantly reminds me of Allah. I mean she is here because Allah loves me a lot or else why will He give me one of His such precious human beings.

"I know right, I am amazing," Jeena said as she placed her index finger over her chin, giving me a glance from head to toe. I gave her an overall turn around, showing off how good I looked.

"See I told you a fitted blue check suit with a black turtleneck is totally you." She said as she took a step closer, pointing her finger at the handkerchief that was in my pocket. I followed her gesture and saw that it was out of place. The smirk, never leaving her face in gratification.

After fixing it, when I looked back up at her, that is when I saw what she wearing, but I quickly looked away because she appeared beautiful. The white dress embellished with lace or was it tissue, but whatever it was, she stood out with her high shoulders and the pink flow at the end of the dress. I am gawking now. Rafan, look anywhere but not at her.

She looked elegant and modest at the same time. No skin yet full excellence but the way it was highlighting her frame, astaghfirullah look away, man and when I finally did, I realized how there were eyes at her of people that should not be even staring at her in the first place. It made me uncomfortable.

"You okay?" She asked about to turn around, but I coughed to clear my thorat and stop her action. Stretching the neck of my shirt, I blinked a few times but smiled at her with a nod. I took a step forward when she glanced around. I was not the type who gets into a fight, but if those men do not stop glancing her way, I might end up punching them, each one by one.

"Where are... what?" She was about to say something when she stopped mid-sentence on my movement.

"What happened?" She asked with concern when I gritted my teeth out of frustration.

"Put your hair down," I said in a stern voice. By now, I wanted to knock those two men in specific who were wearing tuxedos and were literally ogling at her as they took a spot by the pillar which was right behind her at a distance.

"Why?" She asked with narrowed eyes, stretching the 'y'. Sure she was confused, but I could not find it in me to let it be and let them have their so-called check-out session. Her dress fitted at places, and I did not like the fact that she is a muse for someone.

"Because they are staring," I said before my lips twisted in a frown.

"So?" For some reason, my words caused her to glare.

"And I do not approve of men gazing at you in that way. You are not some shiny object, but you a person." I moved a bit around.

Shielding her from those two morons, I pulled the stick from her bun that was holding her hair up, being careful that I do not touch her in any way.

Moving back, I looked over at the guys who have seemed to notice me. They passed a nod and walked away. When I came back on her front, I saw her face, and she had her eyes glistening. Did I scold her or something? I do not remember using harsh words but then why it seemed that she would cry?

"Are you about to cry?" I asked in worry.

"No, it's nothing," Jeena gulped with a stuttered answer, "can I have my hair stick?" She moved her hand forward, taking a step back. She gave me a reassuring smile as she blinked her tears away. Nodding my head, I placed the stick on her palm, yet it bothered me the way she reacted. I do not wanna push her into telling me when she does not want to.

"Guys come on." It was Pamir from behind me. Ezzah came right beside her in the same gown that she wore on our cousin's reception that Pamir brought.

"What happened to you?" I was still focusing at Jeena when Ezzah asked, looking at her face.

"Nothing. Let's go." Jeena dismissed her question and took her hand to go past us. I turned around and followed her with my eyes.

"Everything cool?" Pamir asked with concern.

"Hmm. Yeah. I hope so." I replied as the trance broke with the help of my speech pauses, and my eyebrow stretched up in consideration of what exactly happened.

"Then let's go, buddy. It's a big day. I get my first sole project rolling, and you get to have your first international exposure." Pamir slapped my back and moved to the entrance where Jeena and Ezzah had passed from earlier.

After what seemed like an hour, the promo of the project finally released publically. We had demonstrated it yesterday. Pamir's P-cap system was actually a software that can block external users from getting your data, even if it was the government, and it could also let the user access websites banded in their country if they meet the company's community standards. Not only that, a person who rents the system will have to give the criminal record before renting the system. Hence the name 'P-cap', Privacy-cap, but I call it Pamir's cap.

They were making a toast to everyone who had somehow invested their talents and money in the project as I followed along uninterested. I mean I respect everyone, but it's been ten minutes now, and they are not even done yet, and my hand hurts due to holding it in one position for this long.

"And let's not forget the guy who was smart enough to tell us that we were taking this project lightly and extra barriers were indeed a necessity and just not another helpful measure to this project, our own ethical hacker from Pakistan, Rafan Ghamza." The late sixty CEO of Pamir's company announced in his slightly Chinese accent as everyone clapped. Man, I loved his accent. I think I love every hibernated English accent and not the actual one.

Toasting the red wines in my direction, they quaffed the whole thing in one go. While I and Pamir with Jeena and Ezzah had apple juice in our glasses. Hilarious if one might see my point of view. We are too halal for haram people too haram for halal people at this moment.

"So, what now?" Jeena asked as we took a seat at our table.

"I want food," I said. These people did not have halal food but had vegetarian food which was literally boiled vegetables with some other things on the sides. Not really food in short.

"Bhuka." Ezzah mocked, throwing the napkin at me and I responded it with maturity as I poked my tongue at her, but she copied me back.

"Hey!" I complained, but Pamir chuckled.

"Let's go out. There is a halal subway. I saw it on our way." Pamir suggested after taking a sip of the juice.

"But won't they mind?" It was Ezzah, and we all looked at Pamir for confirmation, but Pamir only shrugged.

"I already told them that we can't stay long. Remember we have to go and meet your parents. Plus, Rafan has his flight early in the morning, and you have an appointment tomorrow." Pamir tried to remind Ezzah of something which caused her to smile. Did I just saw the brazen Ezzah blush?

"What's going on?" Jeena asked as she moved forward with knitted eyes as there was a knowing smile on her face.

"Nothing." Ezzah snapped at the exact moment.

Fishy.

"Oh no, there is something alright," Jeena argued as the smile stretched on her face.

Am I missing something?

"Jeena!" Ezzah was gritting her teeth. I could see how embarrassed Ezzah was, but Jeena kept on shaking her head with an insane grin.

"I am so happy for you." Jeena quickly got up and hugged Ezzah, causing her to chuckle as she slapped Jeena over her shoulder lightly. Me being the clueless one glanced at Pamir for an explanation, but he was too busy staring at Ezzah with adoration.

"What's happening?" I asked him, pointing my fingers at the women.

"We are about to be parents." There was this calmness on his face when he said that. The whole aura around him felt light as he glanced back at Ezzah, who was talking to Jeena. I cannot believe this is the same guy who was complaining about kids and now, look at him.

"Congrats man!" I moved towards him and gave him a tight slap on the back that he almost slipped, but he composed his balance only to glare at me, and I shrugged with a sly smirk.

"Let me just talk to mister Yang Yang, and we can leave. Come on Rafan," Pamir pulled my arm literally, as I got up from the chair.

"Hey give me the car keys, we are out," Ezzah said to Pamir who throw the car keys that he took out of his pant's pocket and proceeded towards mister Yang Yang.

Shaking his hand and saying the byes, we moved towards the closest exit when Pamir took off his black coat and hanged it in his arm. Suddenly pulling me in a neck hug, he wiggles his eyebrows at me in a suggestive manner, making me raise my eyebrows in confusion.

"What?" I asked, not getting his point.

"Jeena?" and I looked away as a smile crept on my face, but I could hear Pamir chuckling.

"What about her?" I asked as we moved ahead.

"Did you tell her?" He asked as we walked in the same condition, I entangled with his arm around my neck

"No," I confessed, ashamed by the fact that I did not.

"What?" He removed his hand and faced me but later snapped at me a little to louder from what I have preferred.

"Because it's not the right time," I said shrugging, pushing my hands in my pant pockets because of the embarrassment that I felt. I knew how stupid I was acting, but it was hard to tell her. I was scared of the rejection.

And is not that the thing with rejection? It does not see gender. It only considers how unwanted you are to the person you love or like. It's not similar to break-ups. It's much more painful. In this, a person does not feel the loss of losing someone but thinks they are not worthy, to be loved.

"Dude, you are going back tomorrow... in the morning. What the hell, man?" Pamir had a disappointed expression over his face and truth to be told I would have been reacting exactly like that if I was in his place.

"She... I- bro, have you ever felt that maybe if you tell the person you like or possible love that you want to be with them and they will reject you and later on, you will be deprived of their mere presence around you for good because of a stupid confession. Do you know how scary that is?" I ranted without actually seeing him, but when I did look at him, there was pity over his face.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"Ezzah," He spoke as he stood with his hands in his pant's pockets and sighed, "I remember when I was writing her that letter before leaving her in Pakistan. I was so sure that she would say 'no' that," he chuckled as if he was laughing at himself, "I did not even think about facing her but look at what I was about to do. I was about to leave her when she loved me back. If you have not already realized, I do not make mistakes, and if I do, I don't regret them, but with Ezzah, it was different. I could not handle how much she has suffered in that one moment I saw her on her knees crying. I could not stop feeling guilty up to now, although I never say it to her on the face." He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it, "Rafan, this thing you feel for her might as well complicate everything, but you cannot live like that." I knew he was right, but she was Jeena. She is too important for me to take that risk.

"Bhai meray, chal. The right time will come on its own." I said to dismiss the discussion at hand.

"I just hope you do not regret it." He said, shaking his head in a way, still showing is disagreement with my decision.

"I hope so too." and I sincerely hope.

We walked further enough so we could reach the parking lot where they were waiting for us. I saw them sitting in their respective vehicles, which were parked beside each other as Ezzah was sitting in the passenger seat of their car, and Jeena was sitting in the driver's seat of her car. Both had their car's door opened as they were facing each other. They seemed to be involved in a serious conversation.

"What are guys talking about," Pamir asked as he stood beside Ezzah who looked up at his much taller frame, with a smile.

"Nothing. I am asking Jeena to get married already. She is what... 27 and 28 next month?" Ezzah looked over at her asking her about her age. Jeena twisted her lips in a frown. Wait Jeena was a year older than me? Yet that was not my problem. The problem was the fact that my own cousin will get her married to some jacka** out there.

"Will you stop being a phupi." Jeena mocked, and Ezzah rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"Yeah Ezzah if she does not want to, why are you going up all in her business." I did not know, was it fear or annoyance that made me bark at Ezzah, but it got me noticed alright. Jeena was gawking at me, Ezzah was scowling, and Pamir scrutinized me with a knowing look.

"What?" I asked when no one took a step to slap me shut for my dumb mouth. Isn't that what we all do? Be qualified ignorants from our abilities when we mess up?

"Why you little-expiring biscuit." Ezzah was about to get up and probably beat me up when Pamir took hold over her shoulders from the front. Shaking his head in a negative down at her, he wordlessly explained her to let me off the hook.

"The only reason Ezzah was saying that is because of my brother. He has sent so many proposals for me, which I been dodging and because he asked her for help. You do not get to make that comment, Rafan." Jeena surprisingly was not angry, but she was disappointed. Yet she was willing to calmly tell me not to say a word to Ezzah, which I would not have said if I was not the surpassing chicken in the history of coward chickens.

"I am sorry." I felt like a kid at that moment. My impulsive nature got the best of me. In situations of panic, I do end up creating worse chaos then there had been a possibility of.

"What is it?" Ezzah asked as she took a step forward with narrowed eyes as her demeanour changed from pissed off to suspicious and I could only gulp. Her pregnancy has made her daring. She usually dislikes confrontation. Despite we have been away for a long time, there are still some things that never changed, Ezzah's freaking intuition and lie-detector capabilities were one of those things.

"Nothing." I furiously rocked my head in negative, but her eyes narrowed even more.

"What are you hiding?" Ezzah said in a deadly manner that it caused my eyes to widen.

"He is not hiding anything Ezzah. He said he is sorry, so let it be." Pamir tried to save me but the way Ezzah gazed at him, anyone with eyes could tell that she caught his lie too.

"I am sorry. I do not feel so good. I have to go home." That was all that Ezzah had said before going inside the car and closing the door with a thud sound. I glanced over at Pamir, and he had a tired expression over his face.

"I do not know what is going on, but please try and fix it. Ezzah hates when someone lies to her." Jeena revealed, and we, like school-going boys, nodded at her.

"I am taking her home. If you want, you guys can go and get something to eat. You know what, bring us some food too while you are on your way back home, Rafan. I have to talk to her." Pamir said, but he never waited for our response. He simply slipped in his car and drove out while I was standing there, gaping at them out of hysteria.

"That was not weird at all," Jeena concluded with uncertainty lacing her words.

"Tell me about it." I continued still staring at the exit of the building from where their car had just got out.

"Come on, let's go fatty," Jeena commented as she slipped her legs inside the car and closed the door.

"I am not fat," I said, taking my place in the car.

"Well, who was hungry enough to get us out?" She asked, sarcastically as started the car.

"Fine." I heaved. I knew that when I go back home, I had to explain myself to Ezzah. I had to tell her everything. She was angry, and we do not want that. I am just hoping she acts just like Pamir did and, does not freak out on me because Jeena is like a sister to her.

"I have been thinking." Jeena began to speak that caused me to glance over at her from the view of outside. I was waiting for her to continue, but there was some sort of resistance in posture. Her fingers were tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, and she was clearing her thorat unnecessarily. I wanted to ask if something was wrong, but she beat me to it.

"Can I... I know you are Ezzah's relative and all but can I come and see you off?" She was not looking at me, but I could not take my eyes off her. The innocence that displayed on her face was enough for me to understand that she wanted to be there, but she was embarrassed to say it that is why she was asking for permission.

These were the impressions of Jeena that made me astonished.

Jeena was a confident person, yet she was coy, she was intelligent, yet she was naive, sharp yet innocent. I was not sure which attitude of hers made me fall for her or were they a combination of all of those habits, but I was in love, and I don't think in any way I could stop it from growing.

"Or I cannot. I mean, I should not have asked. I am sorry." Sh**! I zoned out again.

Time to save my stupid a**.

"I am wondering, why are you even asking me this." There was grief shadowing her face.

"I am sorry," Jeena uttered in a small voice.

"You should be. I was in the trance thinking that I was important to you, that we were friends. Instead of exercising it as your right, you are asking for my permission." I tried my best to remove any trace of humour from my tone.

"Ezzah was right. You are a little expiring piece of biscuit. You could have been a normal person and would have said 'Jeena, of course, you can come', but no, Rafan has an insect in him that has to move every now and then to prove a point of its sustenance." Jeena had mocked back that it took me time to realize that she was not talking about zoology but about me.

"You were the one who started with formalities." I pointed out as I leaned against the door.

"People here don't do that. People here don't go and drop off people unless they are family, you idiot." Oh, I did not know that. In Pakistan you have a clan seeing you off when you go somewhere.

"Well, I did not know that." She glanced my way over my words with an annoyed look.

"Not sh** Sherlock." She scoffed. God, I will miss her.

The retired leaves of the past have a neurological deflection in them. They were like the moments of the potential state where a person was static beyond its natural motion. Humans at this very instant are vulnerable as a baby without the warmth of his or her mother.

Rafan did not want to remember how it was to be with her, but even if you are a visionary of the future your past lives inside of you, regardless one uses it or not.

The feeling of knowing her, loving her, was as if a task that he wanted to regulate for the rest of his life, but what happened between them, it was a betrayal and like every other human Rafan was not ready to let go, forget and forgive that betrayal. It was a betrayal disguised as a rejection.

Being a human is not easy, and being an angry human was severe. To not forgive Jeena on her doings, he developed himself in so much anger that he was not able to think straight. The person who used to be the reason for joy in his long life was now blamed for everything just because she made a mistake or was it a sin.

"Sir, I have given them all the data for the codings, to check if they find anything wrong with it but by now it seems they are pretty happy with your work," Kabir said looking away from his laptop but seeing that Rafan had his eyes glued to the sea as they have been sitting, having their lunch after the meeting, in a local restaurant.

"Hmm." Rafan was lost somewhere in his own thoughts when Kabir dared to ask.

"Sir, can I ask you something?" Sighing, Rafan looked his way only to nod at him to continue.

"Since you have been here, you have been lost. All though it's not affecting your working abilities, it's still causing a disturbance for your own self. Is it because we have not heard anything from the detective about your wife." Rafan did not expect him to grasp that. Kabir was a sharp person, true, but he never paid attention to personal matters, or maybe he did, and Rafan never realized it.

"Kabir..." Rafan was about to dismiss the subject, but Kabir was saved by a phone call. Kabir's eyes narrowed when he saw the ID over at the screen, but then he looked up at Rafan, who was staring at his phone as it was advertised over the table for both of their eyes to see.

It was the detective.

"Hello?" Kabir picked it up and waited for a response. Rafan tried to read his face as the person on the line spoke about something.

"Are you sure?" Kabir had a grave expression as he asked.

"Send me all the information that you have on her and keep me posted if something changes." Saying this Kabir cut the call and glanced at Rafan who moved his chin for him to speak.

"We found her." Rafan had goosebumps as he heard Kabir's words.

'Welcome home Jeena.' Rafan thought as a sadistic smile graced his face.

Chapter 8

Pamir be like that to Rafan.

I remember someone saying they liked bromance between Pamir and Rafan, I was just wondering is it just one person or many?

Does anyone feels bad for him, at all?

Jeena when Ezzah said get married, tum phupo na bano.

He probably looks at her like that, I am talking about Pamir(congrats this was the moment the twins were invited),

Rafan looks like that staring at Jeena.

Rafan being a bhuka

So how was it? Is it a sarangae?

Fact number # 891, this my reaction when lala gets in trouble

That was it for today see you until next time,

Allah Hafiz.

P.S: The next chapter will be between 9 to 10 Aug