Upset

The constant demonic knocks on the door made me realize how messed up my reality was.

I cannot even sleep!

"Hey stop knocking! This ain't my house you a**h***." I stopped my pissing game, seeing the cheeky smile after I opened the door by my rough hands, I need lotions or something?

"You are not a morning person; I am guessing?" She smirked as I just gawked at her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, confused. We just met a few hours ago, why was she here again, although I do not really mind that entirely but sleep. Ugh!

"I made you a promise that we will go and stroll around the city. I am here to pick you up." She grinned as she informed me about her earlier proposal.

"This morning; meaning today. You told me this few hours ago." I expressed in boredom. I wanted to sleep. I cannot believe she is serious about this. We have been awake till the early morning, and she is here now. Wait, what time is it anyway? I moved a little back to glance over at the wall clock they had at their home.

"Are you trying to look for the time? It's almost 11." I turned back at her with the same face that said sleep-or-bae. I literally found it hilarious that I was the one who was literally going all gaga over her, while I used to laugh at people who either had a crush or had a bae and called them desperate at different moments but now look at me. Karma was one tight slap on the face all right. I want to sleep so bad, but Jeena!

"Get in. I have to change." I said stifling a yawn, but Jeena never moved an inch yet the cheerful smile was nowhere now. She held an expression of resistance. My eyebrows joined together, seeing her still standing there.

"What?" I asked, and she awkwardly smiled.

"I cannot." she faltered, causing my eyes to widen in surprise, "there is not anyone at the house. I mean a female." She tried to explain as she bit on the inner side of her cheek. I still stared at her, confused. It took me about five seconds to realize what she meant, but the realization made me even more disarrayed.

Does she think, it's not safe to be with me; alone?

"Why?" The thought of her not trusting me made me upset, yet I still wanted to know this from her, because what we had meant we have at least some sort of trust. When she mentioned earlier that I was important to her, was it not true?

"I am sorry, but I don't think it's a... you know. We shouldn't be alone together. I mean a public place is completely a-okay with me. It's just- how should I put it," this was probably the first time, I have seen Jeena visibly gulping. I should not find this amusing, but for some reason, it is. It's funny because she looks comical.

"We have been alone on a rooftop, just saying." I pointed out our morning encounter concealing my smile, to not embarrass her further. I had no other intention behind my persistence except it did bother me a little that what had changed in a few hours. Truth be told I notice now after Ezzah and Pamir left, we talk on a daily basis if not meet daily, but every single time we met, we met in a crowded place, where there were people if not one or two, but I never felt that she had a motive behind it. No, it makes a lot more sense now. It's not like I mind it, it's just the reason behind it that I dislike, which in some way accuses my character.

"Yeah, but we... There was a security guard, technically speaking we weren't really alone because he was watching us from a camera which was by the elevator and I could have always pushed off the roof- if you tried something." She said the last part in a whisper, but I heard it. I did not know what was I suppose to feel, amused or upset. She was literally telling me that she won't trust me to be alone with her, and she could have pushed me off from a rooftop of a building that had 104 floors.

Good to know.

I have been falsely accused of almost everything in my life. From being a thief to wetting my bed, yet I was never for once accused of this. Then again, there was a part of me that found this information very satisfying that my first crush had that kind of mentality. Wait she was my first crush? Na, there was this teacher when I was four grade that I had a crush on, what was her name, ma'am Bushra? I use to sing la dupatta wali apna name to Bata for some odd reason whenever I looked at her, although she did not even wear a red dupatta nor I did not know her name, but yeah, I had pretty colourful childhood.

I think Jeena is my first adult crush. Yeah, that is what she is.

"I am sorry but are you trying to say that I am not trustworthy to be left alone with?" I don't know why I was still after it, but I wanted to know what she thought about me. I looked at her as I leaned against the main door's frame with my hands folded over my chest. My biceps were more visible to eyes as I wore a tank top, but I don't think that is why she is gulping again.

Wait! Is she one of those who drool over muscular guys? If that's the case, I can totally impress her.

"Are you planning to beat me or something?" She said in slight fear as she looked between me and my biceps. What was I even thinking that she would look at me, in that way? Exactly five seconds ago, she accused me of probably being a potential assaulter.

I am such an idiot!

It's all because of her.

She is getting to my head.

"No, but I am waiting for an answer," I said arching an eyebrow.

"I... look it's not you okay besides why do you care?" Oh how much I want to tell her, I do care but then again, wrong timing. She doesn't trust me, though she says I am important.

Am I whining now?

"Where will you wait?" I asked, finally giving up.

"By my car." She said and as if she took it as her cue and left? Did not she have a sentiment for waiting for the other person's response but then again, these are the things that make her different from others. She doesn't act as if she cares, and she certainly doesn't give a damn about what anybody else cares about her. She is just outside the box of this society. She doesn't fit in, and that is why I find it interesting to figure out what she really cares about and what exactly goes in her mind.

Letting out a deep breath, I went back in, closing the door behind me as I lazily scratch the side of my head with a hand while stifling another yawn along the way with the other.

Changing my clothes, I move outside only to find her on the pavement as she uses the car surface as her backrest and looks on what seems to be a map in her squatted lap.

"Are we going somewhere far?" I asked, stopping by her. My voice causes her to look up at me with squinted eyes due to the bright sunlight.

"Not really, it's the map of the downtown. I was thinking of making a single route." She replied as she folded the map and stood up with her white sneakers on.

"You know there is a thing called Google, which apparently also has a thing called Google map." I point out sarcastically as dusted her floral shirt and blue cotton pants.

"I know but do you know that I hate people and things that are related to our modern technology." What! I am a freaking IT geek. This is the last thing anyone of us, the eternal lonely geeks, would want, that the person we are trying to court hates our existence. While I was going through a phase of disappointment and depression, and maybe midlife crisis, she laughed.

"I am old fashion, chill. I was kidding. If everything is based on technology, what's the fun in that?" She has no idea for a second I thought about changing my field; like my dad will let me. That man has decided my life before my birth. There isn't even the slightest of a chance he would let me do what I want.

"Can we have breakfast now?" I said as a saw a halal place while we were walking past some people in the downtown. Jeena moved ahead as I paused halfway.

" I knew you were a fat cow. You would eventually ask for food." She said, but although I could not see her face, I felt amusement with mischief in her tone.

Did she do it on purpose?

"Why do I have a feeling that you made me walk around here for an hour just to make me say that I was hungry?" I asked, perhaps knowing the answer to my own question.

"Maybe." She said, and I knew she just tortured my stomach so I can request her and she has so sort of satisfaction from it.

" Why you have to be so cruel to me?" I asked as we walked into a small cafe.

"You act all calm and laid back. I was testing the water. I have a theory of pissing people off, but I guess you need extra work over you. I don't mind it though. I find it fun to annoy people." She said shrugging and I just stared at her. She talks about rubbish stuff and a lot of it. Like the rubbish that doesn't even have a direction yet, she doesn't need it, the sense I mean, because she is happy, actually happy by herself if not at peace.

"So what's with you. I mean, why would you react like that back at the house?" I shouldn't be going over there again, but it's like my mind wants to know why despite she already expressed her disagreement over it.

When I did not get an answer for a little too long, I looked up from my plate of pancakes and saw her murdering a bunch of poached eggs, grumbling some incoherent curse words as she savagely again dug her fork in the egg while the Arabic couple from over the container looked at us as if we need help. She more so in contrast to me.

"What happened? Stop murdering your food." I said, trying to stop her and it worked, she snapped her head at me with a very annoyed look. So much for annoying me.

"You won't let it go, right?" She asked as she gritted her teeth. I being the type of guy I am, I just shook my head in the negative and waited for her next move.

"My dad. When I was a kid, he uses to tell me that never stay in the same room or place with an opposite-gender regardless how much you trust them or even if you know them since birth because there is always shatan between two such people. I promised, and I never break my promises. I was a kid back then okay, so no need to laugh." She said in a lightning speed until she did not reach to the end and placed her right hand in the air as if trying to stop me from speaking while all this time her eyes were closed and her head was bent a little down.

I was just- amazed, I guess. Yeah, I know it was funny, but then again Jeena kept her promise to her dad that to something that felt so childish or absurd now. Although the reasoning behind it is something we all are taught when we are kids, but then again we really don't take anything with us after getting into the real world regardless of how important and morally right it is for us, but I did it. I did it too for a very similar reason, because of my mom. I promised her to stay in my limits, to respect other people, especially a woman.

"So here you have it. Happy!" She screeched lowly, and I ended up chuckling. She was adorable.

"See that wasn't that hard," I said, cutting another piece but when I was about to take a bite, I saw her face. It was a mixture of amusement and confusion.

"What?" I asked with my mouth fully furnished.

I need more sauce on this thing.

"You did not make fun of me." She said as an explanation of her constant staring.

"So?" I asked again after allowing the food to slow down my throat.

"Why?" She said, tilting her head to the side.

"Because I get it. I use to make a similar sort of promises to my ami. I still do." I said shrugging, and in a split second, she grinned.

"Can I see her? I mean a picture." I was about to reply to her when my phone vibrates. Lucky her, it was ami.

"Why not talk to her?" I said and moved my chair right beside her, at a good distance so we can be in a single frame together while she just shook her head, in a way telling me how bad of an idea this was but I did not pay a thought over her silent request and slide the green bar above and my beautiful mothers face flashed on the screen with a giant smile.

"Ass salam Alaikum, ami. How are you? Have you taken your medications yet?" I fired away, and I felt Jeena move beside me a little, but I could feel it was just her feeling uncomfortable.

"Walikum ass salam. I am good, Alhumdulliah and no, I did not because you weren't here to remind me." She said it with such seriousness that I couldn't help but scorn on the thought of her being so careless about her health. She really does not need me reminding her, but that's an excuse she uses to not take her meds.

"Stop ruining your nose for the sake of Allah. It's already fat." I heard Jeena chuckle beside me on my mother's word. Only if I did not love my mother, I would have cut the call.

It's embarrassing.

"Ami!" I screeched annoyed. I could feel my neck heating up.

"Stop whining, and I think I heard a giggle. Who was that?" That is when I realized how smoothly Jeena cut herself off from the frame. I turned towards her and saw her staring at the screen on my phone, biting her lower lip with wide eyes.

"Oh that. It's no one Ami, just a friend. Jeena, my mother, and Ami, Jeena. She is Ezzah's friend. I told you they left, right? So she is taking me to the places that I haven't seen yet, or that is what she believes." I explained while Jeena narrowed her eyes, trying to pick up on my statement.

"Oh. Ass salam Alaikum. You are beautiful, mashallah. Where are you from?" My mother asked, seeing Jeena with a smile.

"I am from here, I mean if you are asking about my background, I am half Pakistani and half Turkish." She replied, smiling back at my mother.

We were talking when we heard the door opening on my mother side of the dimension, and from the look of her face, I knew it was my dad.

"Ami, I will talk to you later. Take care. Allah Hafiz." Jeena quickly said the same words and I knew she was confused by what I did; two reasons, first I cut her off in an already ongoing conversion and second her tone was laced with confusion.

"What was that?" I knew what she meant.

"That was my dad," I said, thinking for something endlessly to not go into that topic. For some strange reason, Jeena did not push the subject, but instead, she said something that caused me to chuckle.

"Can you go back to your own spot?" She said with an awkward smile, but I can see the nervousness in her eyes. With a snort, I moved away.

"Can I asks you something?" She asked as I had already taken my place. I shook my head in negative, with a smile and she knew that she can carry on because I was just playing.

"Why are you always... Okay?" I am sure my eyebrows are knitted, over her question.

"I should not be okay?" I asked with an awkward smile, digging in my food.

"No, what I mean is from the past few weeks we have been together, I have never seen you upset. Do you even get upset?" I chuckled airily because it was accurate, and annoying at times. My circumstances have me shaped into someone who does take his problem seriously. There is always a solution why sweat over it?

"I don't... kinda. The thing is, nothing was big enough to upset me. There is always a solution to a problem. There is no point of wasting yourself over the unnecessary issues." I explained as she was examining me with her eyes like a lab rat. I was sure about it.

"How?" She said, with her mouth ajar.

"How what?" I asked, taking the cranberry sauce from the table and splashing it on the leftover pancakes.

"How are you even normal?" She asked with an expression that reminded me of Japanese cartoons, open mouth and it's jaw almost touching the table with all the exaggeration. What do you call them Japanimation or anime?

"I am pretty sure I am normal, my mother had me checked," I replied, and she moved back a little in confusion and the next thing I knew she throw a used napkin at me.

"You creep! I was scared that you actually went to a psychiatrist only to realize you stole that line from The Big Bang Theory." She literally facepalmed herself as I chuckled and took another morsel in my mouth. I glanced back at her when she chuckled and looked up at me before shaking her head, and I could help but smile at her.

Rafan was lying on his bed as he stared at the ceiling with his hands folded behind his head. His face morphed with stiffness as the memory passed away. The bad thing with good memories is that they come, put a smile on your face and end to your reality. Sometimes as humans, we somewhat wish to never even have happy memories let alone the sad ones because in both cases, we do end up being downcast because of the damage they were followed by that ruined us.

Rafan got up and glanced around his room. He passed his fingers through his locks before dismissing the thoughts of how happy she made him. It was better to not think about what she made him feel, but what she did to him. He got out of the bed and took the rest of the clothes out that he was planning to take with him.

He was packing his bags as a thought of never being upset came into his head again. Who knew that would change. When Jeena left, everything changed. His worldview was destroyed, about having solutions for every problem. She left him, and he could not solve that, regardless of how much he wanted too.

His phone was ringing, but his grip over his folded jeans was tightening because of his thoughts. It sucks being here, in this position where whatever you do, it doesn't make you happy. Rafan was suffering, and for reducing his suffering, he wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, but even then, he was not happy. He knew he was not because he was not brought up by his mother that way.

"What?" He said without looking at the caller id.

"How are you?" It was his father. It's been a long time that he hasn't talked to him. After he threatened to divorce his mother, everything changed.

"I am sorry I have to leave. I have a plane to catch abbu." He replied, not trying to sound rude, he composed his tone. He was still his father.

"Have a safe flight and meet me if you have the time when you come back." There was sorrow in that voice that made him feel guilty, but he could not find it in himself to let the past go.

"Allah Hafiz, abbu." saying this he cut the call without listening what his father had to say and resumed his activity.

People make mistakes and expect other people to forgive them automatically because that is the morally right thing people should be doing and for the most, these people who are the victims of other peoples' mistakes, do forgive but only until they can, after that either they leave or creat a distance to protect themselves. Rafan did something similar for the sake of his own sanity, but his father failed to see it and acted ignorantly, hoping Rafan forgets the past.

Chapter 4

Rafan, my dude has memories for cheap thrill. Poor soul used to be a problem solver back in the day.

But she was the problem that he could not solve.

Now he is just another sad story in my collection, but

So how was the chapter, vote and comment (did I just did book version of subscription?)

Another fact, I was busy finishing this chapter off that I am pretty sure I might be disowned by the morning when Ami finds this out.

And that is it,

Allah Hafiz.

P.S: next chapter is on 12th July.