Trials

Meeting Murat had made Rafan recount all his thoughts only to analyze them in the end. There were a lot of things that even Murat did not know about, such as why Jeena ran away from her own wedding without an explanation.

Then there was the fact that Murat did not know why she gave her house to the bank. Murat was in Ankara at that time with his wife, trying to help his in-laws with settling in the new country. He did not know why she needed the money, and he never asked her either. It was her parent's property, not his.

"How do you think she was paying Altan?" Rafan asked, staring in the open space.

"She does not work but, I think her parents had some property that is on rent also she might have put her apartment in States on lease too," Murat spoke his thoughts out loud. Rafan nodded over the statement because that way, Jeena can get money running in without worrying about getting a job.

"The part that confuses me is you said she had so much loan on her, but that's not possible," Murat stated as he looked around to see if his sister was anywhere near them.

Rafan glanced at his direction and realized what he was doing, "she is not here," Rafan said, massaging his forehead.

"Where is she?" Murat's once tense body relaxed.

"She went out to get groceries with Zeynep." Rafan absent-mindedly replied while repeating over his previous words.

"Why is not it possible?" Rafan asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Because that much of money, must have been used somewhere. Normally people use that amount of money for buying a property, which is a no in her condition. The second reason could be for surgeries or medical treatment because although the cost of medicine is almost free, certain treatments are expensive but the last time we needed money for medical was when my... wife died in a car accident." Murat stammered at the word wife as a wave of pain passed through his body. Rafan's eye soften. He could understand if not feel how it must have been like for him.

"I am sorry." But as soon as Rafan said that he realized what Jeena has once told him about being sorry for someone's loss.

"It's fine. It was like it was your fault. Anyway, even then we did not need that much money. And the third thing is if Jeena owes someone money, like illegal stuff type money, which I have no idea about." Murat further explains while glancing at the screen of Rafan's tablet in his hand.

"And the dates, they are of the time when I was not even here. Like I said, I was in Ankara." Murat's lack of information was not helping either.

Jeena had either lied to everyone or hid something. Only Jeena knew what was going on but what scared Rafan was that what if Jeena was in trouble.

Jeena won't get involved with a mafia? This thought scared him enough to mess around with his internal battle.

"Can she use that money for herself, like for some treatment?" Rafan asked, scared from that thought as well and Murat felt his chest tighten in concern.

"I never saw anything wrong with her when I came back. She was fine." Murat spoke while thinking about any unusual thing happening to her, but he found nothing. She was the same apart from her crying over Rafan, which cause her to lose weight and go pale for some time.

"Are you sure?" Rafan said, but Murat only shrugged not sure what to say.

"When did she start wearing hijabs?" Rafan asked after a while but out of the blue. Murat glanced up, and a small smile graced his face.

"Truly, I don't know. When I came back from Ankara, she was already wearing it. It was surprising, yet I could only appreciate it. In those three years when I was in Ankara, and she was in Istanbul I never for once imagined that she would change this much but she looks exactly like her mother. Anne uses to wear it too. It suits her." Murat seemed to be in another world when he was describing the experience he had, and the mention of Jeena's mother only intensified.

They heard the lock of the main door, and Murat quickly threw Rafan's tablet at him, who started to work on it to make it seem casual. Murat acted as if he was glaring at Rafan.

"What's going on?" Jeena asked as she dropped the bags on the coffee table and glanced between them. There was something wrong she could feel it that she forgot to say Ass Salam Alaikum first.

"This man said you left him. Is that true?" Murat said all of a sudden and Jeena's head snapped in Rafan's direction while Rafan seemed taken back by Murat's sudden approach.

"This was our personal matter, why did you drag him into this?" At that moment she completely ignored her brother and frowned at Rafan. Jeena was furious but when Murat winked at Rafan and Rafan understood what he was trying to do.

"Personal matter?" Rafan scoffed, throwing his tablet at the space beside him on the sofa.

"I thought he was your brother. You tell him everything." Rafan tried to be cold as much as possible. He had no idea what Murat was on too, but maybe he has a plan, and that might help them with Jeena's list of mysteries.

"Jeena what's going on?" Murat had a stern look on his face that caused Jeena to glare at Rafan even more for getting her brother stuck in this matter. She had to lie for such a long time, hid the truth and Rafan had to ruin it.

"M.J. there is nothing. He... I told you before that I can take care of myself." Jeena was not sure about her condition now. Should she lie or kick Rafan out of her house, which was technically his house now.

"I do not want to get angry at you." She whispered to herself after seeing a challenging smirk on Rafan's face. She inhaled and exhaled to cool down. Her practice and hard work to be in control were being shaken and apparently, only one man had it in him to do so, Rafan Ghamza.

"I am not making you angry, am I?" Rafan could see her lips turning into a thin line, but his gaze was still penetrating through her soul.

"Murat, Zeynep wants to show you her drawings from school, take her to her room." Not for once did she looked away from Rafan's face when she indirectly told Murat to give them privacy.

"Be nice." He did not direct his statement to anyone but said it out powerful enough for them both to hear it loud and clear while none of them reacted and continued their eye-to-eye game, one glaring and the other trying to figure the lies.

As soon as Murat had picked up Zeynep in his arms and took her up, Jeena walked up to Rafan who stood up following her actions. She poked her index finger on his chest with the same scowl, "what do you want from me?" She loved him, true, but dragging Murat in this was low.

"Truth." Very calmly, he had spoken, that she only blinked at him; confused.

"Say it. What are you hiding, huh?" Rafan said taking a step forward which caused her to gulp as her eyes moved to try to find any sort escape in his.

"What happened Jeena, plotting another lie in your head, like that letter?" He said as his nostrils flared remembering how much it hurt reading it. Jeena's eyes were blurry by now. She could see behind his anger the immense pain.

"I..." Jeena was out of words as she felt him entering her personal space, but before she could make a run for it, he held her peptide self by the shoulders. His large frame towering over hers.

"Not today." His words had a sort of finality in them that only accelerated her fear.

"I told you before I cannot tell you." A tear slipped her eye. There was an appeal in her orbs; a plead for mercy. Yet Rafan only shook his head telling her in a way that this time he won't let her be.

"You will tell me sooner or later. I have suffered enough to not care about what you consider as important until I don't find it important." He pushed her slightly to shake her a little as he passed away and went upstairs after taking his tablet along the way.

"Ya Rabbi!" She said, taking a seat at the table as her hand went over her mouth to cover a sob. She glanced up at the ceiling, visualizing everything that was sinking. It was already painful to leave him. It was hard to make that choice, and now he wants her to accept what she had done and why.

Jeena knew him that he would only blame himself even if it was not his fault, and that is the reason why she does not want to tell him the truth. She could have taken the blame, hate, and anger when he was there, in another country but here, right in front of her, she cannot take it. How can anyone see hate coming from the person who they loved?

Rafan was a blessing to her that she left behind for his own good and here he was, standing tall and high telling her to scream the truth out when she did not even whisper a sob in public since she left him. Gripping the glass table she was seated on, she closed her eyes in pain while praying that Allah makes a way out for her. She fought so many things, and she was tired now.

"Ya Rabbi, Ya Allah, I am not brave, I am tired, how much longer?" She whispered as she felt her heart was being pulled apart.

There was a time when she was hasty, impulsive, but now it was not the same. The course she went through only made her break, made her feel how important it was to keep quiet about her feelings, about her pain and her thoughts.

After such a quiet night, the sun was rising again, and she feared that she would be the same person, again. The one who was in pain and who only knew that her flaws were for her to suffer.

Rafan was standing by the top stairs as he heard her whispered cries. He wanted to console Jeena, to tell her that it was fine, but he could not. He needs her to speak up, to tell him the truth which her composed state won't let her. Despite so many changes, she was still stubborn.

His own heart ached when he saw her like this. He scoffed over his anger that he started feeling after his mother had passed away. The brutal lies that his father had fed him, consumed his pain and fabricated his mother's true believes. He blamed Jeena for his mother's death because he could not see anyone else.

In a period of disturbance and chaos, humans tend to look for someone to blame, someone who could be responsible for their pain. It was easy for him to blame her because she had caused him the hurt once before despite his hearts pleading to testify.

And now when he stands here, sees her, begging Allah for help, it made him forget all that he once felt, but the one thing Rafan was not sure about was if he had it in him to handle what came forth. The truth, will he be able to see past her mistakes or will it only make things worse?

He felt someone behind him, yet Rafan did not turn around. He still had his focus over Jeena's head. Murat could hear the same thing Rafan heard, but things were a mess, and he knew it. It would be far in a mess if he tried to change the situation now. Even a slightest of mistake can create the greatest of boundaries between them.

"She has to go through this. I do not know what exactly changed her enough to die inside like that constantly, but she needs pressure. Enough pressure can make her break." Murat said as he placed his hand over his shoulder.

"But is this right? Force was never the option." Rafan had his eyes glued to the floor as he said that.

"Why are you taking it as a force?" Murat asked as he took his hand off from Rafan's shoulder. Rafan turned around to look at him.

"Hazrat Ali Radi Allahu Anhu once said that gold is tested with fire, and the believer is tested with trials. Consider this as a trial for both of you. People have seen far worse. If your intentions are true, remember Allah will never punish you." Rafan gazed at him. He remembered how he forgot everything he had restarted because of Jeena. The prayers, Quran and even the habits that were from Sunnah because he wanted to help her out and the reason was simple, he was distracted, first with his pain and later due to his anger.

After hearing something so simple, yet impactful from Murat, Rafan could not help but look into his own self. What has he become? A being that had nothing in the name of a soul? How could he be so impeccable about a world that never gave him anything? His thoughts were starting to question him where he stood. He was so busy to accuse and rage that he forgot who he was.

"Where should I sleep?" Rafan asked, not trusting himself with his feelings that he just wanted to lay down and sleep. Murat stared at him for a while until a mischievous smile graced his face.

"Have you married someone after my sister stupidly decided to leave you?" Murat asked, sending a silent prayer that he did not.

"Of course not. I do not have it in me to hurt someone I love even if that person does not love me the same way back." Rafan looked away after being offended a little. The last part pained the centre of his chest.

"She never took a khula." Murat tried to suggest wiggling his eyes with a smile that caused Rafan to raise an eyebrow at him.

"What are you trying to propose exactly?" Rafan asked, folding his hand over his chest.

"I mean you guys are still married, so there is no harm in sharing a room, right?" If the media had a face, it would be Murat. He was actually trying to hint something which Jeena won't ever agree to, ever.

"Are you crazy? She will throw me out?" Rafan told him the nonsense his words held.

"No, she won't. My lazy sister never cleaned a room for you, thinking you were bluffing." Murat said as he cleared his thorat, making a scratchy sound.

"What do you mean you would sleep with me? My daughter does not sleep without me!" Rafan's eyes were wide open at his volume, and the next thing they heard was footsteps.

"Is everything okay?" Jeena asked as she walked, upholding her gown from the sides.

"He asked me where he would sleep? He cannot sleep with me. Zeynep doesn't sleep without me. You never cleaned the guest room." Murat asked with his lips in a sinister twist.

"He can sleep on the couch, downstairs," Jeena said looking in between them, and Murat rolled his eyes seeing Rafan shrugging.

"Yes, you can always sleep with the huge body on that small little couch," Murat said slapping Rafan's back that only stung Murat's hand. As if Rafan knew what Murat had meant by that he stopped Jeena from further continuing as her mouth opened to speak.

"I told you to get me a room. It's not my fault that you did not, and I am certainly not sleeping on the couch. I will take your room, it's up to you if you want to sleep there or somewhere else." Saying this, he turned around to walk, but he did not know where to go. Just on his first step, Jeena ran for her room and got against the door, her hand spread wide.

"You won't want to go in there." She said, and both Rafan and Mustafa looked at her as if she was crazy.

"And why not?"Rafan asked with a pointed look.

"Because it had woman's stuff in it," Jeena said, and she sounded completely ridiculous over her reasoning.

"So clean it up," Murat said, waving his hand in the air as if dismissing her over-reactive behaviour.

"Are you with me or not?" Jeena asked Murat who only shrugged.

"Listen, whatever it is, do it while I bring my stuff up." Saying this Rafan left to get his stuff that Jeena had placed in the closet downstairs and Murat stifled his yawn as he moved towards his own room.

By the time Rafan came in, Jeena was already making her bed on the floor, and the room was clean from whatever she was exaggerating about previously. Rafan wanted to tell her to share the bed with him, but he did not want to give her an idea that things were not as messy as it seemed to be.

"Go sleep on the bed I sleep here, just wake me up at 7. I have some work." Saying this, Rafan pulled the pillow out of her hand and without changing into a different set of clothes laid on the make and shift bad that Jeena had placed for herself. Taking a seat on the bed, she stared at his back, and the only thing she felt was that she was out of place. This dream had been too long for her liking, and if it keeps going on, one of them will be absolutely hurt.

Chapter 18

Rigth, so let me get this straight, Murat is a proper tayzz larka.

Rafan has a support in the form of Murat to dig the secrets.

What do you think is Murat a good guy?

What about Jeena, what is she hiding?

This is all for today, do share your comments.

Until next time

Allah Hafiz!

P.S: The next chapter will be on 25th or 26th of Nov.