Runaway.

I was able to smile, live, and be happy. When I was finally able to have a family, things turned away from me. I am not going to blame anyone for this, especially not God. Maybe it's how you expect things to end that causes your nightmares to come true. My reality was a part of my long term negative thoughts, so why does it hurt watching things turn out exactly like the way I thought they will?

I was outside standing with Ezzah behind me, yet I felt alone. I heard loud noises from the other side of the entrance in Urdu. Where the one voice defended me, the other called me a desperate mistake.

"Why have you stopped?" Ezzah asked as she came beside me, but she never continued because I was sure she could hear it too.

"I do not care what you think about her, but I am not letting her go." Rafan's voice was loud enough to pass through the cracks of the open door. He seemed in rage, yet he was controlling the anger. I could feel it.

.

"Think twice. You know what, Firkanda was right! That girl is changing you. First, it was Ezzah and now her friend. I am sure Ezzah has a hand in all the rubbish that you believe in the name of love." The other man seemed as if he was his dad, but maybe I am wrong. I heard his father's voice just one time since we have met. I can be wrong. I hope I am.

I understood most of the things they were saying, and those understandings were enough to harm me. I glanced over my shoulder to look at Ezzah.

Her eyes had watered as her hand moved towards her stomach. Her eyes cast downwards as she gulped. No ounce of fear or surprise hit her. Yet strength does not mean that a person cannot be fragile. Ezzah was tough but penetrable. I was weak but a rock. Nothing passes through me.

"Don't. Abu, I am requesting here for you to stop dragging her into this. Why are you all after her?" I heard him, but it did not seem to help Ezzah or me. Ezzah placed her palm over her mouth to stop a sob from coming out.

"Ezzah..." I trailed off, but Ezzah only shook her head in contradiction. Pamir came up to the floor of the apartment from the other side, and his eyes met mine when he saw us standing outside. His smile was gone when he saw my face. His eyes flickered towards Ezzah's bent form.

"What happened?" He asked, looking at me again as he took Ezzah in his arm, who finally sobbed out loud enough to make a little sound.

"I..." I was about to tell him when Ezzah cut me off by saying, "nothing, you know how I get emotional for no reason these days. I felt like marrying off my child, so I got emotional." I faked a chuckle, rubbing her nose by the back of her hand.

Pamir was not buying her stupid lie, I could see it, but he did not question her. Yet instead, tightening his hands around her and kissed the crown of her head. I was not sure what to do when the once pausing sounds reappeared.

"I am leaving. I do not want to be a part of that woman's schemes. If you enjoy it, sure go along with her nonsense." Pamir's eyes knitted on Rafan's voice as his heavy footsteps came along, showing that he was in movement. The next thing we knew, Rafan had open the door fully and was staring at us with wide eyes.

One hand on the doorknob probably and the other holding a brown leather jacket, he looked anything but okay. I cannot save this scene with another one of my lies. My abilities are good, but Pamir is not stupid.

"What's going on?" Rafan questioned, taking a step further so he could close the door behind him. Wow, nice work. Not suspicious at all. I blinked away.

"We need to talk." It was Pamir as he kept his one hand around Ezzah while the other stroked her hair. His eyes were blazing into Rafan's, his tone was accusing, and we all kind of knew he will not let it go.

We were sitting in a park in an area where there were fewer people because Ezzah wanted to breathe in the fresh air. Technically, Ezzah and I were sitting. Pamir was pacing and glaring at the ground, and Rafan was standing there with folded hands.

"What the hell is wrong with that woman?" Pamir finally spoke, coming to a stop, but none of us dared to speak. The amount of anger that was radiating off of him was scary enough. One won't want it in their direction by using rationality.

"She needs a brain transplant because she does not have a heart." Except if you are the wife. Ezzah had spoken, finally, looking away from all of us. Pamir stared at her for a moment or two while Rafan and I exchanged a look.

"You were crying." He stated as if it means something more, deeper than his words.

"And now, I am not. Look, those people do not run our lives, and sure I was hurt because those were some very disturbing... insights and accusations, but why should I cry or be frustrated over them?" Ezzah made me smile over her intelligence as she looked intensely into Pamir's eyes, trying to challenge him to argue with her.

"But you won't forget how this feels," Pamir said, bending down on both of his knees in front of her as held her hands, and he was right. Ezzah is someone who procrastinates things a lot, even if she does not show it, though it does not affect her life.

"I am sorry, Ezzah. It's my father's fault too." Rafan said as he moved towards us a little. Although he was taking her name, his eyes moved over at me too. He was apologizing to me as well.

"Forget about me and focus on what will you do. What I gathered, your father does not like Jeena." What Ezzah said was true. Her mentioning about that made me feel down all of a sudden, but instead of moving my face over the ground to not meet anyone's eyes, I turned my head up and gazed at the sky, feeling the chiffon dupatta slipping down from my head as the wind blew some locks of my hair here and there.

When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that I should never look down when I feel small but look up and reflect on my existence. Allah's art has the gift to remind us that Allah loves us, and He is always there. So, perhaps we feel small, and maybe we are insecure, but we have The One, even if we do not have ourselves. I can feel his words to be true even when he is not here to remind me of them. I feel small and insecure, but I have Him, and He created me regardless of what anyone says.

"Jeena is my responsibility. I won't leave her regardless of what anyone says." It was as if Allah proved through His creation what I wanted to hear. I could understand him clearly, yet it did not make me feel better. How will it? When I know that taking my side means he has to defy his father.

"Jeena, I am sorry, but I will fix this." I could feel tenderness and concern in his tone, but yet I did not want to react. I do not want him to risk things for me.

"But what exactly is the problem? You told me that both of your parents were on the 'boat' now what?" Pamir demanded, causing me to exhale out in fuss.

"Abu and Farku aunty were having a conversation about the wedding when," he sighed and continued, "when she asked how did I know Jeena, and how did we meet and when Abu told her that she was Ezzah's friend, Farku aunty flipped and said that Jeena would be a disgrace just like Ezzah." My head snapped at him. There is nothing wrong with Ezzah. How could she say that?

"You tell your goose for an aunty that if she wants to do the tango, do it with me, do it by all means, but she dares to lay a finger at my Ezzah, I would crush her like an ant under my feet." Pamir took the words out of my mouth, scratch the my-Ezzah part.

"I would love it if you say that to her." Rafan accepted the indirect offer.

"I am serious," Pamir said in frustration as he glared at him.

"And so am I. Imagine going home to your parents to tell them that your f**king sherwani is here, and your dad comes up to you saying that they are thinking of extending the marriage because they aren't sure about the woman you love." Rafan barked, gritting his teeth.

"You stop cursing, and you hold my hand so you can stop turning into a war machine." Ezzah pointed at Rafan first and later on Pamir as she held her hand up, which Pamir accepted like the good husband he was with a distorted face.

"You guys need to get married before they get a chance to say 'no' again," Ezzah proposed, and all of us looked over at her as if she has lost her pregnant marbles.

"How are we going to do that?" Rafan inquired as he placed his jacket that he was carrying around with him on my lap and pushed his hands in his jeans pocket. I knew why he did it. I knew he knew that I feel cold if I have anxiety. I wrapped it around me without glancing in his direction.

"How does a runaway wedding sounds to you?" Ezzah spoke after a pause. She had a smirk, and my eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. Pamir chuckled at his crazy wife while Rafan just stared at her face. For sure, she lost her pregnant marbles. She does not like to take risks, or maybe she does, and I have never noticed.

"We are in," Rafan replied, and my head snapped in his direction.

"We are dead." That was the only thing I could say because the look on Rafan's face said he would convince me in any way possible.

Rafan left yesterday and never showed up until now. Jeena thought he was serious, but since he never showed up, she dismissed the idea of him coming home, to her or his? Then again, it was better this way, according to her, lesser drama.

When M.J came back home after Rafan left yesterday, he was furious knowing what had happened. If he had met Rafan, he would have gone ballistic over him for treating Jeena the way he treated her. She tried to explain it to M.J that it was not that stupid the way Rafan treated her. Rafan was acting that way because he was hurt, and she was the one to hurt him, but this part, Jeena could not mention to M.J because she was ashamed.

"Listen, I am leaving but take care and if that dusted trash comes back, again, call me, actually better if you call the police." She made an annoyed face when M.J picked his bag up, saying these things.

"Okay, fine, sorry, but see for yourself that man had caused Zeynep to have far more worse nightmares in a day. You know she does not take these sorts of stuff well. The poor child was shaking in fear, and just because she cannot talk, we do not even know how she feels." He was right, but Jeena does not feel Rafan is to be blamed, completely.

After what happened to Zeynep, she not only lost her voice but also lost her childhood in a way. She would suffer from nightmares even if she sees a scary mask. There was something she saw but could talk about to no one. Jeena was actually surprised when Zeynep brought in Rafan like that yesterday, but what shocked Jeena even more was- Zeynep was not afraid of Rafan like she feared every single stranger, but what happened later kind of ruined it for them both.

Jeena could understand Zeynep to a certain point. The fear might not be similar, but their anxiety was the same. The feeling of something crawling up your spine was the same. The sense of staying away from unknown people was the same. The insecurity was the same. Age really does not matter when it comes to such things. Depression is part of the human-imbalance that is just growing, and at this moment, age does not help in these cases.

"I am going to drop Zeynep today." M.J was trying to give her space. He knew Jeena needed some time alone where she could absorb Rafan's uncalled return. After all, Rafan was a sort of ex for hers.

"Salam Alaykum." Saying, this he picked up Zeynep in his arm. Zeynep kissed Jeena's cheek while M.J placed a peck on Jeena's forehead. Their love was the only personal affection she got after Rafan, and she was barely able to hold herself sane due to them.

After they left, Jeena went out for a walk. The sun was shining as she moved up on the road against the gravity, yet it was still cold. She could feel the natural push, but it was like a small piece of a pebble in the sea filled with rocks. Guilt consumed Jeena's heart, despite her intentions were good, but just not good enough. Only if she could tell Rafan the truth.

The reason why she could not speak to him about why she did what she did was that Jeena knew when Rafan finds out, he would be angry for her not trusting him, but it was not about trusting him as much as it was about giving him a chance on his life where he could see happiness and not suffer what problems she would bring on the table in their marriage.

Breathing out, she walked on the old streets, which have the ability to transport anyone in the era of history where creativity was at its peak. She pushed her hands in the pockets of her long coat as she looked around in a daze. She turned around the next corner to go back home when she felt as if someone was following her.

At first, she ignored the feeling, but when she kept feeling eyes on her, she turned around and glanced everywhere, but what she saw was nothing but a small group of men having çay and two kids playing with their soccer ball in the middle of the street. Shaking her head on her paranoid thoughts, she continued back towards her home.

When the house was visible to her eyes, she saw a man with suitcases as he looked around through his black sunglasses.

'What is he even wearing?' Jeena thought, observing his olive tank top under his black coat and ripped jeans with heavy ankle boats.

Despite that man has changed how he looked, she knew who he was. She cannot ever mistake him for someone else. Maybe Rafan has grown his hair enough to make a ponytail, Rafan was still him, hopefully. Yet it was not like it did not irk Jeena though she did not complain from the past few days because at least he was unusually but fully clothed, unlike now where he showed off his tanned skin like his body was everyone's business.

'What is he, a boy band member who will tear away, his tank top that isn't even helping in hiding his chest?' Jeena thought as her step became heavy, and she started heaving.

Her steps slowed as soon as his eyes landed on her. Jeena blinked away in expectation of an unpleasant reaction.

'Why give him the satisfaction that he affects her?' She thought.

He tilted his head on the side and focused on her. He could see that even the manner of her walk has changed. Seeing her now, it felt like the woman he loved was nowhere near the woman that was walking towards him, but he knows enough about the truth. Jeena was still Jeena, and if he is right, this will be fun.

Both were right. People can change how they look, they can improve their behaviors, but they can never change what is inside of them. They just pick what to follow and what not to. They can never change their true nature. Exactly how Jeena has improved, but she was still the same person from inside.

"Mind walking a little faster!" Rafan shouted when he knew she was in their earshot.

"Mind acting like a human?" A smirk appeared on his face hearing her frustrated. She was indeed losing her control over herself, seeing how vexatious she was getting, he knew she was still bothered by him. Maybe she felt guilty too, and that thought made Rafan realize that Rafan just needed to dig.

"Wow, aren't we talking? Is this how you speak to your landlord?" Rafan came to where she had stopped as he pushed himself away from the wall, which Rafan was leaning by. For a moment, she narrowed her eyes at him but scoffed later onwards.

"Listen. I know we have some issues..." Jeena started, exasperated, but he cut her off.

"Yes, we do, and guess whose at fault for that?" Rafan announced, taking a step in which was now her personal space, but she did not flinch, and that only caused him to feel content.

'She is not afraid of my presence.' That thought in itself was satisfying for Rafan.

"But... that does not mean you act as if you own me." Jeena by now was challenging him as she pushed him by his chest, glaring in his eyes. Yet Rafan was quick as he grabbed her hand and yanked her back to him.

"Ask," his deep voice had vocalized, he held her free hand lightly as he smiled at her with affection, "you might wanna open that door before I make you." Jeena was taken back by his smile turned smirk and the endearment that she used to use on him. She was in a daze that he had created, confused as to what just happened in a few seconds.

"Have you gone... mad?" She asked when he still stared at her as if he was a lunatic who refused to move away as she pulled or tried to pull her hand away. The beard did not do anything in hiding his smirk as he held her hand tighter and pulled her a step closer as if that was possible.

'What is gotten into him?' He reminded her of the guy that once loved her, but he hated her.

"No, it's your time now." She squinted her eyes at him with an ajar mouth when he swiftly slipped his hand in her pockets and without a sensible movement and took out the keys of the house without a sound. He kept on smiling at her during his handy work, and she felt the old times resurface as she stared at him, trying to understand the meaning behind his words.

"Hey!" Rafan yelled, causing her to jump as if he was trying to break the trance she was stuck in, "pick my bags when you enter." Ordering Jeena, Rafan took a step back. Leaving her hanging in the center of the block, Rafan swiftly climbed up the stairs of their house and unlocked the door.

'How did he even get there so fast?' She was so confused by what was happening around him so suddenly.

Jeena snapped out of the vintage feels of him as she saw Rafan wiggle his eyebrows at her with a smirk as he entered through the door but left the door open for her.

"The hell I would!" She yelled but quickly slapped her mouth shut, "what is wrong with me! I have dropped cursing."

"Astagfirullah," Jeena muttered, whining on the ground she stood.

"Better start practicing it a lot more because you will need it." She heard Rafan yelling back as he was popping his head out of the window with a smirk that caused her to glare at him.

Chapter 16

Because I published despite the rough times and you read it.

Well what are your thoughts on a runaway wedding? Anyone up for it?

Well, Ezzah is one smart cookie!

I hope people who wanted more of Pizza are getting it.

So Farku aunty continues to be the devil, how do you feel about it?

Back to the present, Rafan is going to enjoy Jeena's misery?

I hoped you all liked the chapter,

Until next time,

Allah Hafiz.

P.S: The next chapter is on 25th or 26th of Oct.