My head was still spinning when I woke up the next morning. I rubbed at the scar on my chest as I got dressed and ate breakfast. I was on autopilot as I walked to school. Tara caught up with me as I walked inside. She had a uncharacteristically large smile on her face as she glanced at me.

"What's up?" I asked, feeling the excitement radiating off her. She toyed with the edges of her dress, something she only did when she was nervous.

"I met someone last night. I had a lot of homework, so I stopped at the Brew, figuring I'd at least be comfy while I worked. I had just ordered a hot chocolate and was about to sit down when someone jostled me, almost upending the drink in my hands. He looked up at me and immediately apologised. His name is Caleb and he goes to our school."

Tara took a breath, then continued. "We talked while we worked and right before he left, he squeezed my hand and said he hoped to see me again sometime." Tara was breathless when she finished, her eyes sparkling.

My eyes were so wide, I thought they'd pop out of my head. "That's amazing! I'm so happy for you." As we walked in, I glanced at the counsellor's office, a chill running through me as I remembered my dream. "I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

I hadn't intended to talk with Alyssa, but the panic attack and the dreams had made me realise that maybe I should talk with someone who could help. Plus, she already knew everything. Dad had talked to her before the start of school, explaining what had happened to our family.

My hand shook as I knocked on the door. A heartbeat later, curly blonde hair appeared in front of me, tight ringlets framing a heart-shaped face, accented by blue eyes and naturally red lips.

Alyssa smiled as she saw me. "Bella! Come on in!" She shut the door behind me, her smile fading as she noticed my face. "Everything okay?"

All the pent-up emotions that I'd been keeping at bay- fear, anxiety, worry- bubbled up to the surface. I took a shaky breath, then started to speak. Her face never lost that soft concern, only tightened with anger when I mentioned Ross. She took my hand after I finished. "I'm so sorry, Bella. Have you been journaling a lot?"

I nodded, flashes of pages and pages of 5 years worth of life filling my head. After Mom died was when Alyssa introduced me to it. At first, it was a way to release all of my anger, sadness and frustration. Then it slowly became a safe place, one where I could finally let my guard down.

"If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to stop by." Her voice was soothing, calming my racing heart.

I took a breath as I stood and grabbed my bag, smiling at Alyssa before leaving. I glanced at my phone after I'd stepped out into the hallway, surprised at how much time had passed. Luckily, I'd had a free period, so I didn't miss class.

My stomach grumbled as I headed to the cafeteria. I froze as I stepped inside. For a moment, the noise was smothering, the space too confined.

I backed against the wall, panting heavily, my eyes squeezed shut. A familiar voice filled my ears, laced with concern and worry. "Bella? Can you hear me?" I felt her take my arm and lead me into the hallway.

All I could hear was Dad, pleading with Ross to let Mom go. Tara's worried face appeared in my blurry vision as I opened my eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked, anxiously scanning my face. I felt fatigued, like I'd just run a marathon. We walked to an empty classroom and I collapsed into a chair, my legs trembling so much they could hardly hold me up.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. I'd never realised how draining panic attacks were. I picked at my food during dinner. Dad had glanced at me, but didn't say anything.

Needless to say, sleep didn't come easy that night. I tossed and turned, my head throbbing. I finally dozed off a few hours before my alarm went off the next morning.

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