“Excuse me, I’m looking for the room of Miss Tamara Gessman. I’m her niece,” I explained to the receptionist.

My heart was thudding loudly and painfully inside my chest. I was terrified to see my aunt. I couldn’t even put my finger on why exactly, but I supposed it was probably because the accident I had been in with her that had caused my memory loss in the first place was one of the most vivid, but also one of the only memories I still had. I was afraid that if I saw my aunt, that memory would come back again with full force like it had in the Go Kart and send me into another panic attack.

“Floor four, room 26-03,” the receptionist replied with a small smile.

“Thanks,” I murmured. 

I could feel Ket’s presence behind me as I turned and started towards the elevators, and that reassured me slightly. The ride up the elevator was tense and uncomfortable, and as we climbed higher and higher, Ket’s presence became less and less comforting. 

As soon as the elevator doors reopened onto the fourth floor, I dashed through and hurried down the hall. I could hear Ket calling after me, telling me to slow down and watch out. In some part of my brain, I knew that running through the hospital wasn’t the best idea- I could run into a sick or injured patient. There was a larger part of my brain, however, that just wanted to get this over with, to finally face my aunt after avoiding it for so long.

When I got to the door, though, I stopped short.

“Ro. . .” Ket trailed off.

I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. Instead, I just squared my shoulders and continued on into the room. I couldn’t chicken out, not now. The first thing I noticed as I got into the room was how still the woman lying in the bed was. She looked just like my mother, just like me- it was unnerving. I moved closer. . . then let out a gasp as images began to swirl through my mind at the sight of her face.

I remembered staying up late, watching movies with my aunt. I remembered calling my family every day at four, telling my mother, father and brother that I loved them. I remembered the early days when Reed and I had shared a room, and then later on, when we had adamantly refused to sleep anywhere near each other, even if we loved each other to no end- we both needed our space. I remembered so much of my past, all at once. I remembered.

I fell back into the chair beside Aunt Tam’s hospital bed as tears began to pour down my face.

“Auntie Tam,” I cried, leaning forward and capturing her hand in my own. “I am so sorry. I remember now, though. I remember.”

“What?” Ket murmured from behind me.

I jumped a little- I’d forgotten he was there. I turned to him with wide, unbelieving eyes.

“I can remember, Ket,” I told him. “I can remember everything. I remember Reed and my mom and my dad, and I remember spending the last few weeks with my aunt, and I remember the accident. We were going out for lunch.”

Tam stirred slightly, clutching my hand, before settling back down and becoming still again.

“I have to call my family,” I announced.

Ket shook his head. “You can’t in here. No phones allowed, remember?”

“But-” I began to protest.

“I know you’re excited because you finally got your memory back after almost a month of having no idea who you are, but it isn’t going to suddenly go away again,” he reasoned.

“How do you know? What if this is just a temporary relapse or something? What if I somehow loose my memories again overnight?”

“It won’t happen. I won’t let it.”

“There’s nothing you could do to stop it,” I pointed out.

“Of course I could. I’m Ket Thomas, and I can do anything I want,” he smirked.

I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn’t suppress my grin.

“You seem happy,” Ket commented.

“Of course I’m happy! I have my memories back, Ket!” I exclaimed.

“It’s something more than that, though. You just seem. . . different,” he replied slowly.

“I finally know who I am. I finally remember myself- if that makes any sense. I guess that knowledge changes a person.”

I turned back to my aunt and sent her a warm smile. “Don’t worry, Tam. I know you’ll get better too. You have to, especially now that I have my memories back. Besides, we never finished that conversation about how hot Dylan O’Brien is.”

Ket made a choking noise that was somewhere between an incredulous laugh and a groan of annoyance.

“Dylan O’Brien has nothing on me,” he said smugly.

I pat him lightly on the shoulder. “You just keep telling yourself that, kiddo.”

“Kiddo?” Ket raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you, Sweetheart,” I grinned.

This time Ket did laugh, shaking his head at me. 

“I like you like this,” he commented.

I nodded. “Same.”

*-*-*

I sat at my piano, my hands resting on the keys. I was still reeling from this afternoon. Ro could remember. At first, when she’d said that, I almost hadn’t believed her, but then I’d seen her face. There was a light in her eyes now that hadn’t been there before. It was as if, before, I was only getting glimpses of her, but now, she was completely visible again. She was whole again.

I frowned slightly. I should be happy that she got her memory back. All I could think about, though, is that everything was different. She could remember her family now, and soon enough, she would be going to be going back to them. It didn’t really occur to me before that she would be leaving eventually. It just didn’t seem real. Before, her family were the strangers, and we were what was familiar to her, but now, she could remember her family and was excited to go back to them. I was afraid that she had already forgotten us. She would go back to her regular life as if we never existed.

My hands began to glide across the keys as these thoughts raced through my mind. I couldn’t quite explain it, but I had this intense fear of Ro leaving. Maybe it wasn’t even necessarily a fear. I just really didn’t want to lose her.

It had been so long since I had written a piece of music. Lately, I had just been sitting down in front of the keys and mechanically practising Bach, or Chopin, but I hadn’t actually felt the music in a while. I felt it now. I poured my emotions into each note I played.

This was why I never let anyone know about my ability to play piano. Playing for me was filled with so much emotion. It was filled with so much emotion that I was afraid to show. The guys at school would kill themselves laughing and start saying stupid things like, ‘Mozart makes Ket cry’ and although some of the girls would probably go weak at the knees to know that I actually have such a vulnerable, emotional side, it seemed wrong to use such a personal part of myself just to pick up girls. Besides, classical piano player didn’t really fit anywhere into the ‘Ket Thomas Image’.

I could hear Ro’s soft laughter trailing down the hall. She was on the phone with her family, and had been for the past two hours. I closed my eyes and let the sound of her laughter mixed with my music wash over me.

“Ket?”

I jumped and nearly fell off the piano bench.

“Mom? You could have knocked!” I pointed out.

She let out a laugh. “Sorry. Josey is here. I think he’s just raiding our fridge, but he’ll probably be up in a minute.”

“Of course he is,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

I slid the cover down over the keys and then slid off of the piano bench.

“Ket!” Josey exclaimed, coming into my room with a bowl full of ice cream in his hand and a spoon in his mouth. 

I flopped down onto my bed. “What’s up, Jose? How’d it go with Cris?”

“Terrible,” Josey sighed. “I accidentally kissed her, and now I don’t think she’s ever going to talk to me again.”

I sat up slowly. “I’m sorry, did you just say that you accidentally kissed her? How exactly does one do that by accident? What, did your face fall onto her face or something? I don’t think it’s possible. . .”

Josey let out a groan and flopped down face first beside me. “So, by ‘accidentally’ I may mean that I wasn’t planning on doing it, but then when the opportunity presented itself, I couldn’t help myself. . .”

“And how did she react?” I questioned slowly.

“She slapped her hand over her mouth and then ran inside. It looked as if she was going to throw up.”

I had the urge to laugh, but I fought it, figuring that it probably wasn’t quite the reaction Josey was looking for.

“That reaction may have had more to do with the fact that that was Cris’s first kiss and less to do with the fact that it was you kissing her,” I told him instead.

“Wait, seriously? Cris had never had her first kiss? Oh man, now I feel even worse,” he muttered  into my comforter.

“I hope you realizing that by lying around on my bed, trying to suffocate yourself with my comforter, you’re really not accomplishing much. You should go call her, try to work out what’s going on. Take charge of your own life, man.”

Josey slowly turned his face to the side and opened one eye to look at me. “What about you, huh? You won’t even admit to yourself that you might kind of have feelings for a certain forgetful someone!”

“She got her memory back, actually,” I interjected.

“Wait, what?”

“Or at least, most of it. My dad said that she will probably still have weird snippets of memories missing that may never come back, but for the most part, she can remember most of the significant details of her life again,” I explained.

“That’s amazing! Why do you sound so disappointed by it, though?” Josey questioned, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

“I don’t know, I guess I just. . . I’ve already seen the change in her since she got her memories back, and I’m just worried that with her memories, she’s going to be a completely different person. It’s stupid,” I grumbled.

“You’re just being paranoid. The change that you saw in her is probably a new found confidence. I mean, think about how scared she must have been when she couldn’t remember anything. Imagine how difficult it would be to not only not remember any of your friends and family, but also not being able to remember who you are? There is nothing scarier than losing yourself. On the other hand, she never really lost herself at all. She only lost her memories. It didn’t change her natural instincts, or her personality. She’s the same Ro that she’s always been: sarcastic, tough, smart. . . it’s just that now, she knows it too.”

I stared at the wall for a moment. “I thought that I was supposed to be the freaky mind reading psychologist?”

“I just thought that I’d give it a spin once, to see what it was like. It was a lot of work, though, so don’t worry, you can be it for now on.”

I laughed. “Alright, let’s talk about how you’re going to figure out what exactly is going on with Cris. . .”