Dear Manual,

As you know, if I don't have a good excuse to give to my parents when I get home, I get beaten up. It gets to be so bad, I end up passing out and not waking up until next morning. This is why I have decided to carry a spare "pink" dress with me everywhere I go, so that when I go home, I can dye my tentacles (Not permanently) and put on the dress, so that I go home and say: "I was just at a pageant, testing my um.. beauty skills!" It's really easy to fake. I also have to say that it's not on TV because it's a private event that I signed up to do. It's really hard to convince them that it's no parents allowed too. I guess I say that it's just super exclusive. It's hard to cover it up, I can tell they are suspicious, I can only keep this up for so long. I think i'll have to switch to another excuse really soon...

Signed,

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