𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞 | 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻

KATHERINE HAD BEEN BACK AT work for just over a week. She had missed the terrible coffee, endless paperwork, and, surprisingly, watching Hitchcock and Scully do something ridiculously disgusting every single day. Hospital had been boring and painful. Very, very painful. However, Kat had come out of it being able to memorise at least one of Charles's cookbooks, knowing an extra five numbers to pi, and most importantly, being able to move her shoulder around without agony ripping through her body. Of course, the doctors' orders was to take it easy, nothing strenuous like physical activity out in field work, but she had been cleared to return to the Nine-Nine.

She's almost grateful that she had returned before Boyle, so she had been able to scold Jake for setting off confetti canons the second she had walked out of the elevator. At least when Charles walks in today, he won't think he's being shot at again.

With her arm still in the sling, Kat almost literally bumps into Charles at the entrance of the precinct. She smiles warmly at him. "Excited to be back?" she asks. "How are the butt holes doing?"

Charles beams and accelerates the mobility scooter he's been assigned with, since he can't walk, and the pair enter the building. "Thrilled, Katie!" he corrects. "And I'm all drugged up, so I feel nothing!" Kat presses the button for the elevator. "I've missed our daily chats."

She looks to him in amusement. "Charlie, we still talk every day."

"Yeah, but we're not lying next to each other in a bed." Kat raises a brow at him and Boyle grimaces. "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear how it sounds..."

"I miss them, too," she chuckles. "But you'll be happy to know I tried making fettuccine last night."

Charles's eyes light up as they head inside the elevator. "And?" he presses excitedly.

"Well, I burnt the pan and pasta, and almost set my apartment on fire."

He purses his lips. "I mean, everyone has to fail to succeed."

Kat sighs. "I think I'll stay off cooking," she decides. "You know, just as a favour for my entire building."

Charles grins as the lift dings and stops at the fourth floor. "Let's do this, baby!" Kat shakes her head with a smile as the doors open, and they're greeted with the entire squad waiting for Charles. "Buh-buh-buh back in the Nine-Nine," he sings cheerfully with a salute.

The group cheer for him as he drives into the bullpen, and Kat pats his shoulder as she walks past. Gina then rushes over to take her sister's bag off her uninjured shoulder, something that Kat sighs at. She appreciates all the help, she really does, but she needs to start getting used to doing things herself again.

"Welcome back, Detective," Holt calls out with a smile.

Boyle's eyes widen as he takes in the balloons Hitchcock is holding. "Wow, is this all for me?"

"Of course it is," Jake confirms. He hesitates for a second as he takes in his best friend's appearance. "What're you wearing there, buddy?"

Charles glances down to his legs half on display from his shorts and mustard-coloured leg warmers. "Oh, none of my pants fit over my butt cast," he explains. "Lucky for me, my mom lent me her leg warmers!"

"That is lucky."

Amy is holding up a sign that reads Welcome Back Boyle! "Pretty sweet scooter," she comments with a small smile.

Kat glances over to the group from her desk where Gina helps her unpack her bag as she adjusts her sling. "Gines, it's fine," she says quietly.

Gina kisses her teeth and hands her sister a glass of water with two painkillers. "I don't care what you think is fine or not," she retorts. Kat sighs again: she should've expected a response like this. "You're still in pain, I'm helping you."

They look back over to see Charles attempting to drive his scooter in circles, but he knocks over a large stack of files in the process. "Oh, that went terribly!" Jake observes with a wince. He starts to walk over to Charles as he asks, "Can I help you with something?"

"Nope," Boyle shakes his head, holding up a hand to stop the man. "No. Everything's under control!" The sisters return, and Rosa subtly glances over Kat to make sure she's okay. "I picked up a couple reacher grabbers." He pulls out the equipment and almost takes off Jake's head in the process.

Peralta nods as he dodges the grabbers. "Yeah..."

"So I'm able to do everything that I used to do! It's like Kat's sling!" Charles notices the confused looks they're giving him. "It helps her move like she would any other day! These also help me move like I would any other day."

"Not the best analogy," Kat mumbles.

"So now, if you'll excuse me..." Charles twirls one of the grabbers. "I'm going to go make myself a morning cup of coffee like I do every day."

Gina's nose scrunches up as she leans closer to her sister to quietly mutter, "This is going to go horribly wrong, isn't it?"

"That's a given," Katherine nods.

Rosa nudges her side gently. "Hey, are you doing okay?"

Kat smiles as she looks up to her. "I'm fine, you gotta stop being so nice to me." Gina snickers.

"But you literally saved my life," Rosa retorts. "I can't be anything but nice to you."

"Okay, well, since you're apparently in my debt... Stop trying to make it up to me. You don't owe me anything, Rosa," she says softly. Kat offers her another smile when she hesitantly nods. "Changing topics, I think we're about to watch something hilarious."

Charles has stationed himself at the small table that holds his welcome back cake and mugs for coffee. "Okay, okay... Just gotta... no problem." He carefully manoeuvres the grabber to pick up one of the mugs. It instantly slips out and shatters on the floor. Charles picks up another. "The heart is the hardest part!" Yet another mug shatters.

"Let me get that for you, Boyle," Amy offers with a kind smile. After all, he had taken a bullet for her. Two bullets, actually.

He holds a hand up to her. "No need," he declines politely. "No need at all. That's so sweet, Amy." This time, he manages to pick up the third mug, and his fingers graze the ceramic before it shatters. Again.

Terry steps forward with his travel thermos. "Hey, Charles, just take my coffee," he suggests. "It's fresh."

"Okay, I guess. I mean, if you don't mind." Charles tries to grab the thermos with the grabber instead of moving forward ever so slightly and taking it with his hand.

Terry keeps hold on mug before letting go. "All right, you got it?"

"No problem," Charles smiles. He successfully grabs the thermos and brings it toward his mouth.

"Why wouldn't you just use your other hand?" Gina points out.

And just like Kat had expected, it goes catastrophically wrong. The thermos tips over and the steaming hot coffee tips over Charles's shirt. "Ah!" he screams. "Ah, ah! Hot coffee in my cast!" As he grimaces in pain, Gina walks over and pours the carton of milk down his cast. Charles sighs in content. "Ah... Cold milk. Cold milk."

Jake grimaces. "That's coming out the bottom," he observes. The squad groans as the milk drips onto the floor.

"It is coming out the bottom of my cast."

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎ ﾟ。 ⋆

Over the last month, Rosa and Kat had been trying to track down a perp with a dozen counts of identity fraud. But when they had finally put him in hand cuffs an hour ago, they had realised something fairly quickly upon initiating a conversation. They were going to need to involve Jake Peralta. Kat narrows her eyes as she stares at the man through the one-way glass in the observation room. She and Rosa have been watching him for fifteen minutes and she already wants to throw herself in front of a truck.

"Rosa, Rosa, Rosa," he sings. "I know you're out there! You too, blondie. Katherine, Katherine, Katherine."

Kat stares blankly at the glass. "Shoot me, please," she says.

"Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. Oh, yeah."

"We can shoot each other," Rosa suggests.

After getting word that he's wanted, Jake joins the two detectives. "Hey," he greets. He looks between them questioningly. "What's going on?"

Kat returns her gaze to the interrogation room. "Him," she deadpans.

"Just picked him up on a dozen counts of identity theft," Rosa elaborates. Jake nods and places his hands on his hips.

"His name is Doug Judy," Kat tells him. "Have you seen him before?"

"No, never."

Doug Judy stares at the mirrored glass, knowing that they're watching his every move. And to Rosa and Kat's utter displeasure, he begins to sing again, making sure to roll every R that is said. "Rosa. Rosa, Rosa. Oh, yeah. Beautiful Rosa." Kat's eye twitches in annoyance as he continues. "Katherine, Katherine, Katherine. Oh, yeah. Beautiful Katherine."

"I love how creative criminals are becoming these days," Jake remarks. He glances to the pair beside him and almost flinches at how heated Kat's glare is.

"I think he might be into us," Rosa observes.

"What do you do to these perps?" Jake asks curiously.

"Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac," Diaz replies.

Jake nods, and Kat sighs when his gaze moves to her. "When you make it clear you hate someone, somehow it makes them like you even more." Her jaw clenches when Doug Judy unknowingly makes eye contact with her.

"Katherine, Katherine-"

"Someone punch my bullet wound," Kat announces. "Better yet, shoot me in the exact same place."

"No one's shooting anyone," Jake says firmly.

"Come back and say the same thing once he makes a song about you."

"Joke's on you, I'd love a song about me."

Rosa grabs the arrest report from the table behind them. "Anyway, he said he wants to speak to 'John or Jack Peralta or whatever.'"

Judy continues checking himself out in the mirror.

Jake's brows draw together as he studies the perp. "What does he want with me?" Before either can respond, he turns to them with a glint in his eyes. "And should I change my name to Jack Peralta? That sounds badass." He clears his throat as he dons a more dramatic tone of voice. "Jack Peralta, crocodile hunter."

Kat hums. "Just get Gina to teach you how to do an Australian accent and you're all set." She suppresses a smile at the sheer excitement radiating off him at the idea. "Okay, Judy said he wants a deal."

"Yeah, he has some information about some dude who steals Pontiacs," Rosa adds. Neither of them understand just how meaningful those words are to Jake.

His head snaps over to them. "Pontiacs?" he repeats. "He knows about the Pontiac Bandit." Since she's closest to him, Jake grabs onto Rosa's arms to gain her full and undivided attention. "Listen to me, he specifically said he knows a guy who steals Pontiacs?"

"Yeah, I just said that," Rosa snaps. She shrugs him off.

"Jake, chill out," Kat says firmly. She has no idea why this has him so riled up.

He shoves Rosa's shoulder. When he turns to Kat, Rosa steps in front of the blonde, pinning him down with a death glare. She then shoves Jake back. "Okay, sorry." Rosa pushes him back harder again. "M'kay!" Jake laughs it off, then gently taps her shoulder.

"Hey, Diaz," Judy calls out. "Come here and talk to me. You too, Linetti. I got a much longer song for you and it's not just words."

Rosa places a hand on Kat's good arm to stop her from charging into the interrogation room. Jake's eyes squint slightly. "This dude is super horny," he observes with a grimace.

"Yeah."

Kat takes out her phone when it vibrates. She smiles at the text from Gina. Did you know Boyle's scooter has sirens when he reverses? In fact, she did know. Maybe she'd gotten used to it in hospital to the point where it currently doesn't bother her as much as it now does to everyone else. Another message: Stop leaving me on read.

Rosa carries the box of files on Judy into the room as Kat and Jake walk in behind her. Doug Judy instantly smiles. "Aw, you heard my serenades!" he greets them with a smile.

Kat drags over one of the chairs to sit beside Rosa. "And if I hear another, I'll slit your throat."

Judy's eyes widen. "That's very attractive."

"Okay, shut up," Rosa barks. Kat tries not to wince as she sets her wounded arm on the table, feeling a sudden shooting pain at her shoulder. She misses the concerned glance Rosa briefly throws her way.

And so the questioning begins. Judy tries to evade most of them to start with, subtly working his way around to then end up flirting with both women for what feels like the hundredth time today. But then he finally understands that none of the three detectives are in the mood for games.

"I used to work at a chop shop. It was chill. Decent hours, good benefits. You could work while you were high." Judy purses his lips at Rosa's stare. "Which I never did, 'cause that's irresponsible. Anyway, we did a lot of work for this dude who stole Pontiacs."

Jake's eyes light up once more. "The Pontiac Bandit!"

Doug Judy nods ever so slightly. "Okay. We called him Bill, but whatever."

"No, not whatever," Jake retorts. "The Pontiac Bandit is my nemesis," he explains to his colleagues. "I've been chasing this guy for eight years." And now Kat understands. He's emotionally invested. "He's stolen hundreds of cars, all of them Pontiacs. He's never left any evidence, and he's never been caught on camera. The guy is a ghost."

Kat can't help but hum the theme song of Ghostbusters. Whilst Rosa rolls her eyes in exasperation, Judy points to her with a grin. "Exactly! He's a super ghost."

"He's a super ghost!" Jake exclaims.

"Before we go any further, we need to know if you're for real. Describe the guy," Rosa demands.

"Asian dude. Maybe five-eight, spiky black hair..." Jake nods along furiously at Judy's portrayal. "Rocks in both ears. Always wears a black suit. And speaks with a British accent. Like my girl Dame Judi Dench." He leans forward to Rosa and Kat with a smirk. "I have impeccable taste."

Katherine smiles at him. "It's never going to happen." Judy juts his bottom lip out in disappointment. If anything, this entire interaction has made her even more certain that she's a lesbian.

"So would you say he looks sort of like..." Jake squints his eyes as he pulls out one of the multiples portraits a sketch artist had done of the Pontiac Bandit. "This?"

"That's Bill!"

"This is a composite sketch from ten interviews I've done," Jake says. "Perfect match."

Kat narrows her eyes as she shifts her position. "So, all you know is what a bunch of other idiots have said over the years," she concludes. Her teeth grit together as she watches Judy's eyes slowly move down her body. She hates men. Well, most men. Ninety-nine percent of men.

Rosa clears her throat and folds her arms. "Anything else?" she presses.

"Yeah," Doug confirms with a smile. "I know how to get in touch with him."

Jake grins at the newfound information. "Doug Judy!" he cheers. Kat closes her eyes in frustration after watching him walk over and high-five the criminal in handcuffs. She's going to need another bottle of painkillers. This is going to be a really long day.

They then spend the next half an hour constructing an evidence board with all of the information Doug Judy had provided them with. Holt had then been called into the evidence room so they could brief him with everything they had learnt.

"So, the burner phone that Doug Judy used to contact the Pontiac Bandit is at his mom's house," Jake explains to their captain. "He's agreed to help us catch the bandit if we drop all charges against him."

"He's backed us into a corner, sir," Kat concludes, just as annoyed as Rosa is.

Jake points to her. "Technically he hasn't, because we were always gonna do whatever he wanted." Kat and Rosa share a look.

Holt crosses his arms as he studies the board. "How many cars would you say this Pontiac Bandit has stolen?" he questions the detectives. 

"Two-hundred and thirty that I know of," Jake answers. "But the real number could be in the millions!"

Kat squints her eyes. "Your math blows my mind," she deadpans. Jake, not realising she's being incredibly sarcastic, grins brightly.

Holt nods in agreement with her. "You're not very good at math," he states. Jake grimaces. The captain turns to the two detectives that had made the arrest. "What are the charges against Judy?"

"Twelve counts of identity theft," Rosa replies. She turns to Jake and nods her head to Kat standing beside her. "But we've been chasing him for a month."

He gasps. "Oh, a month? I've been trying to catch the Pontiac Bandit for eight years. You know how many months that is?"

"Ninety-six," the women respond cohesively.

"Eight- forty- and six years, months..."

Holt tilts his head. "Do you need a math tutor?" he asks Jake, slightly concerned by how terrible he is at math for a detective. "Because I'm sure Detective Linetti would happily volunteer."

"Actually, sir-"

"I can't tell if you're being serious," Jake says with a frown.

"I'm on the fence here," Holt admits. "Diaz and Linetti caught him. It's your call," he tells them.

Jake turns to his friends. "Look, this guy is for real," he says seriously. Kat frowns. His eyes meet Rosa's as he adds, "A thousand push-ups."

"A thousand push-ups?" she repeats in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes."

Rosa then glances to Kat and nods her head, silently asking her to trust her. Without having a clue of what had just happened, Kat shrugs. What could she possibly have to lose? "We're in," Rosa declares.

"What's a thousand push-ups?" Holt questions.

"Oh, we were in the academy together, and we hated all the drills," Jake begins. "So now when we're on a case and one of us says a thousand push-ups, it means I'm so sure I'm right that if I'm wrong, I'll do a thousand push-ups."

Kat smiles. "Okay, that's really sweet."

"It's a pact we made," Rosa says. "It really just means 'trust me.'" She glances back to Jake. "And I do." He gives her a small smile.

Holt nods. "Make the deal," he agrees.

"Yes!" Jake exclaims with a wide grin. "I've got you now, Pontiac Bandit. Whoo! Feels good to finally say that in front of actual people instead of just the mirror."

Katherine pats his shoulder in sympathy. "Oh, honey..."

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎ ﾟ。 ⋆

The next step in their plan was to visit Judy's mother's home to collect the burner phone he had been using to communicate with his criminal contacts. Kat had reassured both Jake and Rosa when they had asked if she was okay to come along, and she was, but as soon as they would need to meet someone or anything more, she'd return to the precinct. She couldn't risk getting into a physical fight and ripping out her stitches. Gina would kill her.

As Kat goes to get out the car, she smiles slightly as she watches Rosa hurry around and open the door for her. "Hey, what did we say about all this chivalry?"

Rosa rolls her eyes. "Fine, that was my last act of kindness," she states. Kat grins.

"All right, so we grab the burner, catch the bandit, become police legends," Jake says. He looks off to the side dramatically, and Rosa and Kat can't help but smile at his excitement.

"My mom's car is here," Judy informs them. "She's home." He raises his arms showing that he's still wearing the handcuffs. "Can I take these cuffs off?"

Kat scoffs. "In your dreams," she retorts immediately.

"Well, actually, in my dreams, you're-"
 
"Shut up," Rosa snaps. "They're not coming off."

Doug Judy sighs. "She doesn't know I'm a criminal," he explains, trying his best to appeal to their sympathy. "She thinks I own an architecture firm with all white employees."

Jake frowns. "That's racist."

"Why stop there? Why not tell her you're an astronaut," Rosa suggests with a deadpanned expression.

Katherine nods. "Or that you're in the Secret Service." 

"'Cause space is scary," Judy argues. "You saw what it did to Sandy Bullock. And the Secret Service is a joke, if I wanted to be part of a super cool team, I'd just join the mafia."

Kat stares at him in disbelief. "You are ridiculous," she declares as she shakes her head.

Whilst Doug smiles proudly, Jake gestures to him in agreement. "Actually, I'm with him on this one. I'll stay on Earth, thank you very much."

"Yeah," Doug laughs.

"Come on, guys," Jake pleads to his fellow detectives. "We can play-act with his mom for two minutes to get a lead!"

Kat sighs. "I could use a distraction from the pain," she admits.

Rosa's head snaps over to her. "You're in pain?" She rolls her eyes once more at the pointed look Kat gives her. "I mean, whatever."

"I'll kill whoever did that to you," Doug Judy declares, his eyes trained on the sling supporting Katherine's arm. "Destroyed a beautiful woman-"

Rosa flinches toward him. "I'll kill you-"

"Okay, okay!" Jake calls out nervously. "Everybody calm down."

"Fine," Rosa concedes. She walks over to Judy with the keys to the cuffs, a stony glare etched onto her face as she looks at him. "One false move, and I tase you in front of your mom."

Kat scoffs as she and Jake watch Judy lean toward Rosa with his eyes closed, trying to kiss her. "Man, you're unbelievable," she says incredulously.

The second they walk into the house, Judy's mother greets them with an infectiously wide smile. "Dougie!" she exclaims with excitement. "Oh, my beautiful boy." She pulls him into a tight hug. "Well, shouldn't you be at work?"

"Never too busy to see my mama," he responds with a smile. He turns to face the three detectives, still smiling. "Mama, this is my girlfriend, Rosa." Kat tries her absolute hardest not to laugh at the horror that flashes across Rosa's face. Judy walks over and tries to kiss again. Rosa dodges it and gives him a warning look. "This is my bodyguard, Katherine."

Doug's mother looks to the blonde with widened eyes. "Oh no, what happened to your arm?" she asks with that familiar motherly concern Kat is so used to.

"She got shot trying to protect me from an assassination attempt," Doug answers for her. He sniffles and fakes wiping away a tear. Jake bites onto the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning. "So brave."

"Yes, so brave," Kat deadpans. Maybe she should've stayed at the precinct.

"And this is my personal assistant," he gestures to Jake. "Mangy Carl."

With a smile plastered on his face, Jake kicks Kat's leg when he hears her muffled laughter. His smile falters ever so slightly in pain when Rosa then stomps on his foot. "Aw, it's nice to meet you," he greets with a subtle wince. "You can just call me Carl." 

"Mangy Carl used to be a homeless gentleman," Judy explains to his mother. "I work with a charity that finds jobs for down-on-their-luck white people."

Doug's mother grabs onto his arm with a proud smile. "He's just a big, old angel," Jake praises, trying to keep up his character. "He's been so good to... the whites."

Whilst Doug and his mother laugh, so does Kat. Jake quickly glances to her with a glare. "Yes, he is," Judy's mother smiles.

"Yeah."

"This guy!" Judy ruffles Jake's hair rather aggressively and slaps his cheek.

"Hey, speaking of which, we should probably grab that phone," Jake reminds him pointedly. "You know, so you can get back to architecturals."

Doug Judy nods. "Yes, it's in the spare bedroom."

As he starts to walk away, his mother quickly says, "I'll go with you! It's a mess." Judy frantically shakes his head to Jake.

"Actually, we can handle it on our own, ma'am," Peralta reassures her. "Thank you so much. Why don't you just stay up here and... chop it up with Katherine and Rosa?"

"Oh! Well, that sounds nice." Judy's mother smiles brightly at the two women who look just as uncomfortable as each the other. "We can get to know each other a little!"

"I love getting to know people," Rosa says dryly. "It's my jam."

She pats the couch for them to sit down and looks back to Kat's sling. "So, you saved my gorgeous boy from an assassination?" she asks.

Kat turns to her with a tight smile. "Yep, that I did."

"He's always been destined for fame," she continues proudly. "If anything, someone trying to kill him shows just how far he's come!"

After sharing a look of exasperation with Kat, Rosa mutters, "Yeah... exactly."

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎ ﾟ。 ⋆

"Fieval?"

"Papa."

"Fievel!"

"Papa!"

"Fievel!"

Kat and Rosa storm into the bedroom with scowls. "You guys having fun?" Rosa snaps.

Jake's smile immediately drops. He takes a small step back away from them. "Hey..."

"'Cause we aren't," Kat adds. "His mom braided our hair." She grits her teeth. "Jake, you know how much I hate people touching my hair."

Rosa holds out the braided section of her hair with a glare that could kill. "Oh, looks beautiful," Doug Judy smiles.

"Yeah, it's kinda cute," Jake tries to assure them. He gulps nervously when Kat turns her eyes onto him. "So cute."

Rosa grabs her pocketknife and cuts the braid off without so much as hesitating for a single second. With her eyes still boring into Jake, she hands the blade to Kat who does the same. Judy's eyes are wide in awe as he stares at them. "Please have my children," he begs. They then shift their glares onto him. "I mean, we'd have to have a threes-"

Thankfully for Jake, the burner phone chimes with a text. He lets out a sigh of relief. "It's him," he tells them. "Parking lot on Flatbush and Vanderbilt in fifteen minutes." He shuts the phone and pockets it. "Let's go."

When the three detectives turn to leave, Judy quickly stops them. "Wait, wait, wait. Diaz looks like a dirty criminal. And Linetti, you look like a hot bartender crossed with a lawyer." Kat scoffs as she looks down to her blazer and jeans. He then waves a hand to Jake. "But you look like a cop, man. You can't go over there like that."

"What'd you have in mind?"

A bright smile suddenly appears on Doug Judy's face.

Jake Peralta skips out of the house wearing a very oversized white, three-piece suit. Kat thinks he looks ridiculous. But he might just be able to pull off looking like a criminal; and that's all they need to do. "I don't look like a cop now," Jake grins.

"No, you look like a Boyz II Men easter album," Rosa corrects as she throws Kat her spare leather jacket.

Judy grins. "Burn."

Jake's brows pinch together slightly. "That's not a burn," he scoffs. "That's cool." As he opens the driver's door to the car, he glances back to Kat who is wincing in pain taking off her sling and blazer. "Someone help my sister out, please!"

Kat sighs as, just as expected, Rosa hurries over to her. "I'm fine," she says. Rosa stares at her until she gives in. "Fine, just- could you please help with my arm?"

"Yeah, course."

Katherine screws her eyes shut as she slowly lets her arm hang down by her side, suddenly feeling like someone has dropped a weight onto her shoulder with nothing to help support it. She unconsciously holds her breath as Rosa helps slip the jacket on and adjust it accordingly so it's not too tight around the wound.

"Is that okay?" Rosa asks quietly. She stands in front of Kat as she reaches up to adjust the collar.

Kat feels a shiver run down her spine as Rosa's fingers graze her neck for a few seconds as she helps to reattach the sling. "Yeah," she replies. "Yeah, thanks." But when they lock eyes, for a few short moments, they can't look away from each other.

Doug Judy pops up beside them with an entertained grin. "I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, it's super hot." He holds his hands up when they both turn to glower at him. "Just let me know if you ever want some company."

"God, I hate him," Kat mutters.

Rosa sighs. "Amen."

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎ ﾟ。 ⋆

Parked in the lot they had been told to go to, Kat yawns as she leans her head on her door of the car. She's tired. Between experiencing so much pain and a few flashbacks from the night she had been shot, she hasn't been sleeping too well. The painkillers only do so much. Not to mention that the antibiotics are slowly yet surely tearing away at the inside of her body. She's physically exhausted. 

Jake notices her yawn once more in the rear-view mirror. "I'll buy you a coffee on the way back," he tells her.

Kat smiles. "I will take that, because spending seven dollars every day is crazy."

His eyes widen. "Your coffee order is seven dollars?" he exclaims incredulously.

"No, it's coffee in Brooklyn," Rosa says. "Everything's expensive."

They fall into silence.

"Hey, Linetti," Judy speaks up. She sighs and looks up to see him turned around in the front passenger seat to look directly into her eyes. "You single?"

She rolls her eyes. "And why is that relevant to you?"

"Just so I know if I can start planning our first date."

Rosa leans her elbows on her knees as she stares out the windscreen with a scowl. "Stop talking," she grumbles.

"Are you more of a white or red wine person? No, I'm thinking rosé. And what about dinner? There's this amazing Italian place, you know, lots of candles and flowers... super romantic."

"You do know I'm a lesbian, right?"

"But I bet your preferences could change based on the right person."

Jake, a few minutes too late, picks up on the less than subtle cues coming off Kat that she does not want to be talking or hearing about this. He thinks she just doesn't want to hear anything from Judy at all. "I gotta say," he begins. "The suit is growing on me."

"Looks good," Judy praises him with a nod.

"Is it triple-breasted somehow?" Jake questions in confusion.

"There's no such thing."

Jake's brows raise as he says, "What about the girl in Total Recall?"

"Oh, my God, shut up," Kat mutters as she rubs her eyes.

Judy smiles. "Mmm. Triple bitties."

Jake grins. "Triple bitties."

"Tripple bitties."

They both laugh and Jake glances to the backseat. "Hey-"

"There's no sign of anyone," Rosa states. Their smiles fall. "You sure about this?" she asks Jake, feeling just slightly worried as she acknowledges her gut feeling that something could be wrong.

Jake nods. "A thousand push-ups," he answers firmly.

"Okay," she agrees.

Kat frowns as she returns to staring out the window. Her eyes widen as she spots a car approaching them. "Hey, heads up," she says, nodding to the black vehicle.

The window winds down to reveal a man wearing a beanie, his arm slung over the side of the car. "Who the hell are you?" Judy calls out. "Where's Bill?"

"He hadn't heard from you in a while, so he sent me to make sure everything was cool." His eyes flick from Jake to the pair in the backseat. "Apparently it's not. Who are they?"

Judy licks his lips. "They're with me," he replies. "This is the buyer. Carl Mangerman."

Jake nods to the associate. "'Sup?"

"I don't know them, I don't trust them," the man retorts. Kat closes her eyes for a split-second in frustration. "He meets with you alone or it's off," he tells Judy. "I'll text the address."

As soon as the black car drives off, Jake hits the door in annoyance. "Come on!" he yells. He glances between the detectives and Doug Judy. "I promise you this, they have not heard the last of Carl Mangerman!"

Kat heaves a sigh and takes out her phone when it chimes. It's from Gina. Captain has 2 puppies, want any? She smiles and shakes her head at the thought of adding even more chaos into her life. Oh wait never mind I forgot you're temporarily disabled.

The group of four all get out the car to try and make having a conversation easier. Judy sits up on top of the trunk whilst Rosa and Kat lean side by side against the car. Jake paces around the parking lot as he ponders over their different options. "All right, it's worth the risk," he decides with a nod. "We send him in alone."

Kat scoffs. "Over my dead body!"

Judy winces and places a hand over his heart. "Your lack of trust in me is like a shot to the head," he says with disappointment.

Rosa rolls her eyes. "I'm with Kat," she agrees. "Something doesn't smell right to me."

"Could be my dad's suit," Doug suggests. "He died in it."

Jake's eyes widen as he looks down to the suit. "He died in it?" His lips curl into a grimace. "Oh, man..." They all straighten their postures when the burner phone chimes. "They just sent the location."

"Man, this dude is cautious," Doug tells them. "If I show up one minute late or I'm not alone, he's done with me. This is your last shot."

"I can't let the Pontiac Bandit get away," Jake argues. He gestures over to Judy as he says, "Put a wire on him, get tactical team in as backup. It's the only way." Rosa looks to Kat, then they both look back to Jake. "Doug Judy and I know this guy. You have to trust us."

"Do I?" Rosa retorts. She pushes herself off the car and walks closer to him. She waves a hand back to Kat. "Do we? One of you is a criminal, and the other one is dressed like Steve Harvey."

Kat sighs. "Steve Harvey!" she exclaims. "That's who you look like." Jake looks down to his suit. "Look, I don't like this either. It's over." Rosa nods to her. "We're ending this. Now."

"Sorry, Jake," Diaz adds.

He spreads out his arms as he looks at them with disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Rosa confirms. "A thousand push-ups."

"Well, I raise you! Two thousand push-ups."

Kat's eyes widen at the challenge. Even though she's new to this pact between them, she has a feeling that Jake's just made a mistake based on what he had said. Rosa's eyes narrow at him. "What? That's not how this works." She glares at him as she steps closer. "I said a thousand push-ups, you have to back me up. That's the pact. End of story."

Jake doesn't flinch at their sudden close proximity. "Well, I break the pact," he states. Kat's eyes widen even further.

"I hope you understand how serious this is to me," she warns him.

"Come on, Rosa. Can't you read between the lines, man?"

Kat shakes her head, far from amused. "Stop quoting Die Hard," she scolds.

It's Jake's turn to widen his eyes. Now he knows he's gone too far. "Sorry." He points over to Judy watching the interaction curiously. "But we're still sending him in alone." Before either Rosa or Kat can argue back, he walks away.

This is going to go horribly wrong.

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎ ﾟ。 ⋆

An hour later, they're all inside a surveillance van at the location for the meeting and going over the plan for the second time. Two of the three detectives are wearing their bulletproof vests because Kat had firmly stated that she wasn't going in with them. "We need evidence to get him talking," Jake explains to Judy. "Ask questions about money, cars, specifics."

"I'm getting kind of nervous, man," Doug admits. "This dude is for real." His eyes flick between the detectives. "You sure you got everything covered?"

Jake nods. "Yeah," he assures the man. "There's a body on the back door, eyes on the side door, and two guys out on the corner. You're gonna be fine."

Judy leans forward on the bench. "What about choppers?"

Kat snorts. "Please, who do you think we are?"

"We need choppers!" he insists nervously. "With snipers and rockets."

"No one has rocket choppers," Jake replies with a sigh. He tilts his head. "Although that does sound amazing."

Ten minutes pass. "We got eyes on the bandit," Rosa reports from what she had heard in her earpiece. "He's a block away."

"You ready?" Jake checks with Doug.

He inhales a deep breath. "You and me, Jakey. We were born ready."

Jake smiles. "Go, Judy, go."

Judy glances back one final time to Kat and Rosa. "I miss you already," he says.

Kat refrains from rolls her eyes and kicks his leg. "Get out of here," she retorts impatiently.

Jake shuffles over and grabs the camera to observe their target through the shades on the window of the van. "We meet at last, Pontiac Bandit," he mutters to himself. "For eight years, I've tracked you and today I'm taking you down."

"Judy, can you hear me?" Kat asks as she speaks into her radio. "Say something."

"I love you, Katherine."

Jake grins at her blank face. "At least we know the mic works!"

She drops the radio with a scowl. "As soon as we catch this idiot, we are done with him," she declares. "And I mean, done. I never want to see his face again."

Rosa nods. "I can make that happen." She shrugs when Kat and Jake turn to look at her. "What?"

They then listen to the conversation that suddenly begins. "My man!" Judy calls out. "What's up?"

"Pleasure to see you again."

Jake's eyes widen as soon as he hears the British accent. "That's him," he whispers.

"Let's talk about cars," Doug says. "I got my shop up and running again. I can do anything you want." Whilst Jake nods in satisfaction, Rosa and Kat share a sceptical look. They both feel it again. Something's not right. "Blue cars, red cars, big cars, small cars, you know, cars. Cars are really great, aren't they?"

"What is he doing?" Rosa questions with furrowed brows.

"Talking about cars," Jake answers. With a smile, he shakes his head at her absurd question.

"I don't like this," Kat mutters.

Another five minutes pass. All of those five minutes is Doug Judy talking about cars.

"You know what else is great about cars? The way they look, how they stop, how they start."

Katherine grits her teeth together. "Okay, that's it," she declares. "I'm calling it."

"No!" Jake protests with wide eyes.

Rosa grabs her radio to inform the surrounding officers of their decision. "Move, people," she orders. "We're going in now."

The three file out of the van, and Kat wanders over to lean against a parked squad car to watch Jake and Rosa storm the building with uniformed cops. She sighs as she hears plenty of yells. But when it suddenly falls silent, she frowns in confusion.

And because now she's incredibly curious, she cautiously walks into the building to find the Pontiac Bandit on his knees with the group of cops surrounding him. "Where's Judy?"

Rosa spins around at her voice. "What are you doing here?" she asks. "You're meant to be waiting."

"I'm a curious Kat." She smiles. "Get it?"

Jake grins. "That is amazing. But..." He turns back to the British man looking up at them in fear. "Yeah, where is Doug Judy?"

"He went to the bathroom," he responds. "I'm just here to give him a haircut. I don't know what's going on!"

Jake scoffs. "A likely story, Pontiac- But actually you do have a lot of hair products.."

And that's when Kat understands what has just happened. She throws her head back and grits her teeth in anger. "Oh, my fucking God!" she yells. Jake and Rosa's eyes widen as they watch her kick over the nearby chair. "Doug Judy's the Pontiac Bandit."

As soon as they walk out of the building, they find the area already taped off by officers. "Put out an APB," Jake commands. "Seal off everything for a twenty-block radius."

The comms suddenly crackle to life as a familiar, and incredibly annoying, voice appears in their ears. "Yeah, don't bother looking for me," Doug Judy states. "I'm in the wind." He starts blowing air.

"I hate you," Kat hisses.

"Aw, I love you too, Katherine!"

She goes to throw her hands up but forgets she had been shot in the shoulder. Rosa's eyes widen when she shrieks through gritted teeth. Kat holds a hand up as she tries to get through the agony. "I'm okay," she breathes. Rosa frowns, and even as she returns to Jake's side, she makes sure to glance over to her every few seconds.

"If you're close enough for me to hear you, you're close enough for me to catch you," Jake replies.

"Nah, I got a relay set up, brother!" Judy laughs.

"So if you're the Pontiac Bandit, who's this joker?" Jake glances over to who they had presumed was initially their target giving a statement to an officer.

"Couple of years ago you were getting really close, so I started telling all my associates if they ever get caught, they should describe me as an Asian dude, five-eight, spiky hair, wears diamond earrings, and has a British accent."

Jake raises the radio back up. "So then you hired a guy who matched that exact description," he presumes.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. That's my barber, Norman Lee. He gave me the idea. You know, you should actually use him while he's there. He'll give you a dope fade."

"I get dope enough fades from my current barber, thank you," Jake states. "So you dragged us over here, went in there, pretended to talk, and then snuck out the basement. Am I right?"

Kat can practically hear Judy's smug grin. "The basement connected to another basement!" he exclaims. "Which connected to a garage, which is where my boy picked me up!"

"Your boy?" Jake notices the pointed stares Rosa and Kat are giving him. He groans. "That guy from the meet-up." They all hear cheering. "He works for you. He pretended to be spooked by me, Diaz, and Linetti in the parking lot to make sure that we let you go to the next meeting by yourself."

"Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!" Judy yells. "You win a teddy bear!"

"You lied to me, Doug Judy. Gotta be honest, I'm pretty disappointed right now. I mean, was that even really your mom?"

"Hell yeah, that's my real mom," he confirms. "I wanted to see her one last time before I disappeared. I told you I was sensitive, ladies."

Rosa takes one more look at the anger etched onto Kat's face. "Yeah, you did," she says. "Why don't you come back here and take us out to dinner? Both of us."

Judy kisses his teeth. "Ah." He laughs to himself. "I know you're trying to trap me. But crazy thing is, I'm tempted!"

Kat inhales another deep breath as the pain finally subsides. "I will find you and personally make sure you rot in jail," she says calmly.

"You have no idea how attracted I am to you. Sorry it had to go down this way, Peralta. Maybe we could've been friends in another world. If I hadn't just fooled you like a little bitch!"

The audio suddenly cuts out. Rosa shoves Jake and he stumbles to regain his balance. Then he looks over to Kat. Big mistake.

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎ ﾟ。 ⋆

The second Jake locks eyes with her, Katherine's anger returns. Being on a concoction of various medications is not helping her emotions. "If you say another word, I will punch you," she threatens lowly.

His eyes widen. "But I-"

She takes a step toward him. "Did. I. Stutter?"

He sighs and turns around to Rosa sitting at her desk and filling out paperwork. Perhaps she would hear him out. "So..." Kat keeps her eyes on the computer but listens to their conversation. "I went back to the mom's house. Unsurprisingly a dead end."

"I got a lot of work to do, Peralta," Rosa brushes him off.

As she stands up, he quickly moves in front of her. "Wait. I want to say something. Kat, I know you're listening. We've worked together long enough by now that I know how much you hate apologises," he tells Rosa. "I just want to ask you guys to join the Doug Judy case. Officially, as partners."

Kat narrows her eyes as she spins her chair around to look at him. "Why?"

"Because one, I fucked up. And two, you're clearly emotionally invested in this now just as much as me. I wanna catch this guy and I can't do it without you. Without either of you."

Rosa smiles slightly. "No, you can't."

When Jake looks to her, Kat points to Rosa, silently echoing her words. He smiles and turns back to the curly-haired woman. "Now, I believe I owe you a thousand push-ups," he declares.

"I don't care about the push-ups, Jake," Rosa replies. "I care that you didn't honour our pact. I've always trusted you, and when you did that, it made me feel like you don't trust me."

"I know," he acknowledges with a sigh. "And I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Rosa nods and her eyes flick down to the ground. "Now, get down on the floor," she demands.

"What? You just said you didn't care about the push-ups!"

She smiles. "I changed my mind." Rosa walks over to Kat's desk, and they sit side by side as they watch Jake remove his badge and drop down to the ground. They share a satisfied smile.

"One, two, three..."

Three and a half hours later:

"Six-hundred and twelve," Jake gets out breathlessly.

Rosa carries her motorcycle helmet and backpack as she walks past him. "Night, Peralta," she calls out.

"Night!"

Kat crouches down in front of him and smiles. "You deserve every bit of this."

He groans and does another push-up as she walks away. "Six-hundred and thirteen." He glances to the side to see the janitor. "Hey, Ronald."

And even by nine o'clock the next morning, Jake Peralta is still doing push-ups.

𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘨 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺.

𝘰𝘬 𝘣𝘺𝘦