𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 | 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻

ROSA DIAZ HAS A BOYFRIEND. The second Kat had been told that her friend was seeing someone, her first reaction had been to hug her. Surprisingly, Rosa hadn't protested. Kat was over the moon that she had found someone that made her happy, it was just a bonus that she quite liked Marcus. The squad had been introduced to him when he had come by the precinct, making it known that he's Raymond Holt's nephew.

Even just by having one single conversation with him, Kat had come to conclude that he was a ray of sunshine. Almost the opposite of Rosa, but maybe that's why they worked so well; opposites attract.

Kat had been shocked when Rosa had been the one to suggest that they go on a double date together. The suggestion seemed so out of character that Katherine had physically checked the woman to see if she was feeling okay. After Gina had told her that Rosa's first interaction with Daisy had been rather curt, Kat wasn't sure what to expect from the night, but she hoped that Marcus's presence would help smooth things over.

The evening had been planned for next week, after the annual vacation the squad took. Every year, the group of detectives and their sergeant had created a holiday that would take place at a location that would change every time. It was something they all looked forward too, a time where they wouldn't have any bosses around to monitor them so they could let go. And even though Kat is technically also their boss this year, her title as a sergeant would disappear for the time being. As long as no crime was committed around her, though, because then she'd have to bring out the badge.

Jake strolls into the break room with a piece of paper in his hands. The squad are doing lastminute paperwork before they leave for the weekend. "Hello, everybody," he announces. "In my hands, I hold the driving directions to this year's detectives-only getaway." They all smile excitedly.

"Give it a cool name, Jake," Charles encourages.

"All right, detectives-only getaway. D-O-G, dog, dog party." Jake's eyes widen. "Dog party 'fifteen."

Kat shakes her head with a laugh as Charles barks without any prompts. "Woof, woof, woof!" He's the most perfect hype man someone could ask for.

Jake hands the pile of papers to Gina who then distributes them across the group. "Big shout-out to Charles Boyle for hosting us at his beach house this year," he says.

Charles bows as they all clap. "You should really thank my ex-wife," he admits. "We split it in the divorce. I get it for December through February. Winter b-house! Woof, woof, woof!"

Kat winces. "Did you get anything good out of that divorce?" she asks him.

He looks at her with an amused smile. "I got Adelaide," he reminds her as if it's obvious. "That's the biggest win I could ever get."

Rosa leans over to the sergeant sat beside her to whisper, "Who's Adelaide?" Kat points to her hair, and she nods in understanding.

"As always, there will be no spouses, no bosses, no work-"

"No bedtimes," Amy interrupts Jake's list with a grin. "Within reason."

"All right, Santiago's feeling rowdy! Who else is feeling it?"

"I can't wait," Jeffords says. "This weekend, I am vacation Terry. No kids, no responsibilities. I'm just a balloon floating in the great blue sky, and I am untethered."

Kat raises her mug of coffee to him. "Cheers to that," she agrees. "Kat privileges have returned." They all whoop. As much as she loves Tisha with all her heart, she's excited to have a weekend away with no short-tempered teenagers around to possibly dampen her mood.

"Just to clarify," Gina begins, arching a brow curiously. "How untethered is vacation Terry from his wife?"

"Very tethered," he replies immediately. She rolls her eyes.

"All right, anyone else have questions?" Jake voices. "Hitchcock, Scully, you've been weirdly silent."

The two detectives share a look with each other. "We didn't want to say anything that would get us uninvited," Scully responds.

"Smart," Jake acknowledges. Kat chuckles. "All right, get pumped, people. Dog party 'fifteen, ooh-ooh!" As he backs out the room, they rile themselves up with cheers.

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎。 ⋆

"Okay, you remember the rules?" Kat sighs as she only hears silence from Tisha's end of the phone. "Dude."

"Sorry, Bear was eating your- I mean, my shoe. No parties, no alcohol, no crime, bed before eleven, no manipulating and-or bribing your mother, don't touch the Monopoly board, do my homework, and don't lose my mind."

She rolls her eyes as she stands up at her desk to grab her bag. "Should you be trusted to be left alone with my mom?" Katherine asks the girl sceptically. "Because this is the ultimate act of trust."

Tisha sighs. "I promise, I swear it'll be fine," she says reassuringly. "Plus, if anything goes wrong, Granny Darle will be there."

Kat grimaces. "Okay, maybe don't call her that."

"Is old lady any better? Oh, what about young lady? No... that's weird..." Tisha smiles when Kat chuckles. "But the second Charles's dad comes over, I'm going rogue."

She shrugs at the answer. "Can't argue with that," she admits. "Okay, I gotta go, but I'll text you when we get there. Love you."

"Love you!"

Kat hangs up the call and sighs as she stares at her phone. "Please don't prove to me this is a bad decision," she mutters to herself. She understands now when parents say that it's hard to let their kids grow up. She feels uneasy, but she can't hold Tisha back forever. She has to let her live. Her anxious thoughts are disbanded when she notices Amy putting multiple bottles of vodka into her duffle bag.

Of course, Gina has spotted her as well. "Two bottles of vodka," the older sister announces. "Is this gonna be the weekend we finally meet six-drink Amy?"

Amy glances over to her. "Six-drink Amy?" she repeats in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"Okay, so we might have had a little fun last time at Shaw's," Kat confesses sheepishly.

"It's the pinnacle of the Santiago drunkenness scale," Gina says. Amy shakes her head with a smile. "One-drink Amy's a little spacey. Two drinks, loud Amy."

Kat swings her bag over her shoulder and sighs. "Three drinks, Amy dance pants. It can get wild."

Gina nods. "Oh yeah," she agrees. "Four-drink Amy is a bit of a pervert. And five-drink Amy is weirdly confident. But I've never seen six-drink Amy..."

When Amy glances to her questioningly, Kat shakes her head. "Me either." She purses her lips. "Actually, I probably have seen that, but I've been too drunk to remember."

"That sounds more accurate," Gina nods. "Okay, who's riding with who?"

Kat holds up her car keys. "I've only got Rosa so far."

"Oh, I'm going with Jake and Charles," Amy says with a smile. "They promised I could choose the playlist." She rolls her eyes at her best friend's pointed look. "They asked first, okay?"

The blonde can't help but grin. It's still blatantly obvious that Amy has feelings for Jake. "Okay, Gines, that just leaves you," she says. Gina snatches the keys out of her sister's hand. "Well, I guess that answers it."

"Kat," Rosa calls out. The woman in question spins around. "Ready to go?"

She points to Gina who is shrugging on her coat as she exits the bullpen. "Apparently she's driving, so yes." Kat smiles as she hurries over to join them in the elevator.

Throughout the short ride, the trio make conversation about what is going to be played in the car, and the heated argument eventually ends with Gina winning. It's Rihanna and Beyoncé, again.

As they walk outside, coats are immediately wrapped tighter. Kat shivers as the cold air hits the back of her neck. Gina skips ahead to get inside her sister's car as quickly as possible, not noticing who is waiting for one of the detectives in her hurry.

Katherine spots Marcus leaning on one of the nearby cars and she smiles at him when they meet eyes. "Hey, Marcus," she greets. "I gotta make sure Gina isn't taking my car apart, but good to see you."

"You too," he smiles back to her warmly. Rosa gives Kat a small smile as the blonde leaves them to talk in private. "Hey, there, beautiful."

Rosa's brows furrow in confusion as he walks over to her. "Marcus, what are you doing here?"

"I know you lost your phone charger, so I got you a new one," he replies as he hands her the box. "And I want to make sure your phone's all juiced up for some sweet long-distance texting."

"Thanks," she says. Her eyes find Kat's car where she can just see the figures of the sisters yelling at each other about what is most likely who is driving. Rosa smiles again, then glances back to Marcus. "What do I owe you?"

"It's a gift," he points out. "All you got to say is thank you."

"I said thank you," she retorts sharply. "That was the first thing I said." She sighs. "Sorry, you're nice. I'll text you."

"Can't wait," he grins. "Inappropriate work kiss. Too fast, can't stop me." He quickly presses a kiss to her cheek.

A soft smile adorns Rosa's face as he heads off, and just as she's putting the charger into her bag Charles joins her. "Rosa D macking down with her boo on the street," he sings happily. He grins brightly. "I love it."

With a stony glare, Rosa turns to him. "Say 'boo' again, I will shoot you in the stomach," she threatens lowly.

"Fine. 'Lover boy' it is."

"What did I just say, Charles? What did I just say?"

"You said- You said not to say it," he mumbles nervously, quickly beelining away to avoid her heated scowl.

When Rosa shuts the door to the backseat, the sisters turn around to look her. "Shut up," she snaps.

Gina raises her brows. "Oh, we didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

Kat nods and turns back around. As Gina starts the engine, she quickly glances back to the detective. "He's really sweet."

Rosa smiles."Yeah," she says quietly. "He is."

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎。 ⋆

The beach house is quickly made a home to the temporary residents. Terry had immediately changed into sweatpants, slippers, and his floral robe, whilst the rest of the squad got comfortable with drinks to get them into the vacation mood. It had turned out that Jake hadn't ridden with Charles and Amy, instead sending them all a single message that he had gotten busy and wouldn't be much longer. Kat had laughed when Amy had told her that Charles had ended up playing the soundtrack to Mamma Mia the entire time – she almost wished she had been in that car.

"Welcome to Chateau Boy-al," Charles grins. He sets down platters of cheese and various snacks onto the coffee table, and Kat immediately grabs the chocolate coated coffee beans with an eager smile. "Eleanor told me to keep the place clean, but I don't care! Mommy's out of town, and we're going to party."

They all look at him in amusement. "You call your ex-wife Mommy?" Gina asks.

"Not consciously," Charles says with a shake of his head.

With a bottle of scotch in hand, Rosa takes the spot beside Kat on the couch and hands her a glass. As the glasses are poured, Kat smiles at how the woman had somehow known she was in a scotch mood, and barely takes notice when Rosa throws her arm to rest on the couch behind her shoulders.

It's such a casual movement that Terry doesn't even notice. "This will do just fine," he declares happily. He lays down on the other end of the couch with his bag of dried pineapple.

"You brought pineapple?"

He nods at Rosa's question. "Well, the fanny runs deep," he says, gesturing to the bag strapped around his waist. "I am prepared for any vacation situation. I've got a bottle opener, sunscreen, inflatable neck pillow."

Kat's brows raise in surprise. "Damn, Mary Poppins." Rosa cracks a grin.

"Wait. Are we having..." Terry slowly pulls out a fondue stick. "Fondue?"

"Tight," Rosa smiles.

"Gina, you ready to party, or what?" Amy challenges her.

Gina spots the shot glasses in her hands and tries to grab one. "Don't mind if I-" Kat chuckles as Amy suddenly downs the vodka herself. "Woah," Gina says in surprise. The second shot is also thrown back. "Dang!"

With a grimace, Amy sets the empty glasses down and turns back to her. "You're two shots behind, Linetti," she boasts smugly.

Kat sighs and leans back into the couch as she takes a sip of her drink. "And here we go," she murmurs.

Rosa turns her head toward her with a curious look. "Are we keeping track of six-drink Amy?" she questions quietly.

She hums. "Oh, yeah. Gina's hoping we get to see it tonight," she says.

Jake walks into the house with a grin. "What up, party people," he calls out with opened arms. The group cheer when they spot him. "You know how I'm always saying it ain't a real party till your boss shows up unexpectedly? Well, it's a party."

All of their smiles falter.

Rosa leans forward with narrowed eyes. "What are you talking about?"

Before Jake can reply, Holt walks into the space with a duffle bag in hand. "Hello, party people," he greets loudly. He's met with shocked stares. "Peralta told me to say that."

"Yeah, I did!" Jake grins, hoping that his energy would be transferred onto his friends. "Ain't no party like a Captain Holt party, 'cause a Captain Holt party is a total surprise to everyone," he sings.

Charles nods to himself as he runs over the layout of the house in his head. "Okay, well, Captain, the only free bedroom is my ex-wife's, which is strictly off-limits," he explains. "She locks the door and takes the handle home with her."

"I'll bunk with Kat," Rosa says simply. Her eyes narrow when everyone turns to look at her in surprise. "She's the only one of you idiots I can tolerate."

"That is true," Gina agrees. "She threated me the entire car ride with violent imagery unless I turned off Beyoncé." She scoffs in disbelief. "Beyoncé."

Kat nods. "Yeah, that's cool with me," she says. None of them notice Amy grinning widely.

"Captain, come with me," Charles waves.

As the two men walk off, Rosa jumps off the couch and approaches Jake with a scowl so strong he's worried she might vaporise him right here and now. "What the hell?" she hisses. "No bosses."

"Look, he told me a story about how his squad always excluded him, and I know I come across as a cynical, badass cop with a checkered past and a thirst for- I felt bad," Jake admits with a whine. "You would've, too. Guys, he just wants to josh around. Is that so bad?"

"I am dating his nephew," Rosa reminds him with a clipped tone. "Now we're hanging out on weekends? What is next?" She shudders as a thought runs through her head. "Small talk..."

Jake closes his eyes in frustration and turns to the one person that has to agree with him. "Okay, Amy, you got to be glad that Holt's here, right?" he presumes. "I mean, you're basically in love with him."

"I love him," she nods. "I'm not in love with him, but I'm definitely not comfortable being drunk around him."

"Ames, please keep the volume down, okay?" he pleads, glancing over his shoulder to double check that Holt isn't in earshot.

"Sorry," Amy whispers with a wince. "It's two drinks. I can't help it."

"You guys, this is gonna be fine," Jake tries to reassure them. He gestures to the sergeants on the couch. "I mean, Kat and Terry are our bosses, and they come with us every year."

Terry holds up a finger. "Correction... You bring vacation Terry, and he is no man's boss. When the slippers are filled, Terry is chilled," he declares, putting a hand behind his head.

Kat sets her glass down and sighs. "For the next two days, I don't work for the NYPD," she says. Gina grins, a hint of mischief twinkling in her eyes. "I love Holt, Jake, but this is meant to be the one weekend where we get a break and actually relax."

Whilst Jake huffs, Scully grabs another cracker with cheese and smiles. "We're happy the captain's here," he says.

"Thank you, Scully and Hitchcock, the voice of reason."

"Holt's the big fish we've been waiting for," Hitchcock explains with a sly smirk. "We have an exciting investment opportunity to pitch him."

Jake blinks. "What?"

"It's an offshore casino that's currently sunk off the coast of Delaware."

"No, all right, you guys are both officially uninvited from this weekend," Peralta states as he holds a hand up to them.

"Too late," Hitchcock retorts. "We drove up as a group. There's no getting rid of us." Jake grits his teeth.

Kat leans her head back and closes her eyes in annoyance. "Angry-huffing-emoji-face," she mumbles.

Rosa manages to hear her quiet words and chuckles. "Sorry, Jake," she calls out, any trace of a smile now gone. "This weekend's gonna suck."

"All right, you know what? You guys are being a bunch of racist, homophobic golf cops, and I for one think this weekend's gonna be even more fun because Holt is here."

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎。 ⋆

Whilst lunch is cooking away, Kat had volunteered to help Charles deliver linen to the bedrooms that were being set up. "Did Daisy get that recipe I sent?" he asks, eager to know the answer. "'Cause she mentioned she couldn't figure out how to scramble eggs, so I wrote down an in-depth process for her. You know, eggs are actually the one meal that everyone screws up easily. You'd think it would be so simple, but you're incredibly foolish if you believe that."

Kat laughs at his passionate ramble. "She got it," she confirms. "And I gotta say, Boyle, I might have to get you to send her everything you know."

He beams. "Hey, what are you doing down here?" he calls out to Rosa. Kat hands him the pile of sheets and he sets them on the couch. "Lunch is ready."

Leant across the bar with her phone in hand, Rosa glances up to them. "I'm texting Marcus."

"Texting," Charles begins with a sigh. "That's the most intimate thing you can do to a lover with your fingers... other than washing their hair."

Kat shakes her head in amusement. Her eyes flick back to Rosa, and she frowns upon noticing how the woman is tensed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answers quickly. Rosa sighs when Kat arches a brow. "So I texted Marcus, and he hasn't texted me back. I can't believe I'm asking this..." She hesitates for a second. "But can you help me?"

"Oh, Rosa, yes," Charles says instantly. Kat smiles at his enthusiasm. "I am the perfect person for this job!"

Kat takes a seat on one of the bar stools and nods to Rosa's phone. "Okay, what was his initial text?"

"'I can't believe I miss you this much after three hours, X.O.'"

"That's sweet." Kat leans her chin on her palm and smiles. "So many green flags."

Charles nods. "X.O.? Girl, marry him." Rosa rolls her eyes at their reactions. "What'd you write back?"

"'Haha, lame.'" They share a grimace. "It's a joke," Rosa clarifies. "I was insulting him. You know, flirting."

"While some of us know that, he probably doesn't," Kat voices.

Rosa's eyes widen slightly. "You think he's mad?"

"I bet he's heartbroken," Charles replies. Rosa slams her phone down on the counter in defeat. "No, no, we can fix this!"

Katherine nods and grabs the phone. "Yeah, don't worry, Rosie. We got you."

Rosa turns to stare at her blankly. "Rosie?" she repeats exasperatedly.

"I'm about to save your relationship, Rosie, I get nickname rights."

As Kat returns her attention to the phone, a small smile graces Rosa's face for a few seconds.

Charles is in full agreement with Kat's positivity. "We just have to write a very sweet, very heartfelt text that will jump-start the conversation," he says reassuringly. Kat's lips press into a line as she tries to think of something to say. She nods to herself after a moment, and Charles leans closer to read the message over her shoulder. "'Hey, baby.' Perfect. Short and sweet."

"I don't call people 'baby,'" Rosa retorts quickly.

Kat sends the message and hands the phone back to her. "Oh, you do now."

The group of three head upstairs to join the rest of their friends for lunch. Charles had cooked up a feast of pasta, something that was sure to comfort them from the cold temperature and winds that raged on outside. Tension remains in the air from the surprise reveal that had been Captain Holt's appearance, however, everyone was trying their best not to be too awkward in front of him.

"So how do you all typically blow off steam?" Raymond asks them curiously. "Does anyone have any formal complaints about the work environment?"

"No, no, we usually just gossip," Jake smiles. "Hey, did everyone see Dave from downstairs this week? He shaved his beard."

Kat grins at the memory of seeing the officer for the first time without any facial hair. "Oh yeah, it was incredible."

"Oh, my God," Gina says. "His whole face looks like a butt." They all burst into laughter with her.

"Ha-ha, butt-face Dave," Rosa says. Gina grabs onto Kat's arm to stop herself from falling off her chair as she laughs.

"Butt-face Dave, that's his new name," Jake declares.  "Butt-face Dave 'cause his face looks like a butt." Laughter spreads across the table once more.

"I like David," Holt chimes in. The room quickly falls silent. "He's a good cop." The uncomfortable tension returns. Kat glances to Rosa on the other side of her to see her looking just as awkward.

Scully nods. "Yeah."

"David is great," Amy agrees. Multiple other exclamations are made on how great Dave is.

"I'd like to propose a toast," the captain announces. When they all raise their glasses, Holt's eyes find Amy's empty hand. "Amy, you don't have a drink?"

"Oh! No, it's okay, I don't-"

"The captain's making a toast," Gina points out. "Don't be rude, prude."

Amy smiles slightly. "Okay, I guess I'll have one more," she concedes. When Kat glances to her questioningly, she quickly nods in confirmation to let her fill the glass up.

"You're on vacation," Holt tells her. "Who's counting? Thank you for inviting me up. To joshing around together." He raises his glass to them. "Cheers."

"To joshing," Jake exclaims. His words are echoed around as their glasses clink together.

"Oh, you know what we could do after lunch? Walk on the beach," Raymond suggests.

Rosa's jaw ticks. "But it's the middle of winter," she argues.

"Which is ideal, you know?" Jake says with a smile. Kat turns to him, and he subtly flinches at her glare. "Not too hot, no crowds. The sand doesn't get everywhere 'cause it's basically frozen."

"Exactly," Holt nods. "Who brought their beach boots?"

Jake grabs onto Rosa's arm and raises it, changing his voice to mimic what he says is an impression of her. "I did!" He grins. "Spot-on Rosa impression."

"It was terrible," Kat says dryly.

He glances to her fora second, his smile never faltering. "'It was terrible,'" he mimics her in a higher pitch. Jake's eyes widen in alarm when she pushes her chair back. "I never said anything!"

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎。 ⋆

Even though Kat's coat is wrapped tightly around her body, goosebumps still cover her arms. She pulls her beanie down over her ears to try and avoid her body freezing into an ice cube. "I'm so cold," Amy says, her teeth chattering as she tries to move around to keep warm. With her arm looped through Kat's, she tries to stay as close to her as possible. "Even my fiery dance moves aren't keeping me warm."

Terry pauses for a second to unzip his fanny pack. "This trick is, you got to be prepared." He pulls out a tiny bottle filled with caramel liquid. "Mini cognac, ladies?"

Kat chuckles at how Amy's face instantly splits into a wide smile. "Oh, yeah," she exclaims as she grabs the bottle from the sergeant. "Oh, warm me up, you little bastard."

The Linettis happily take their own miniature bottles and Katherine drains hers in a few gulps. She feels the warmth rush through her body the second she swallows it. "Four drinks," Gina declares with a grin. "Mm, mm! Thank you, Terry's fanny."

Kat can't help but grimace at the phrasing; she's been around enough British people to know what it means. A laugh slips out of her mouth as Amy stumbles into her side, and she quickly wraps an arm around her waist to keep her steady. "Hi, four-drink Amy," she greets with another laugh.

"And thank you, Poseidon," Gina yells. "Great god of the sea!"

Approximately sixty minutes later, the group find themselves in the hot tub as they desperately try to get warm. Glasses of champagne are held in most hands, and Kat tries to relax, even within the presence of Holt.

"What are you wearing?" Amy asks Rosa with squinted eyes.

"A t-shirt," she replies. Rosa leans closer to her to say, "I only brought a bikini. It seems weird to be in front of the captain in a bathing suit."

Amy nods, her lips curling into a smirk. "Got to cover up them thangs, yeah?" Rosa looks at her blankly. "FYI, you can still see them through your shirt. Be like Kat, she doesn't give a what."

Rosa glances to the blonde who is in the middle of Gina and Jake, happily sipping away at her glass. Whilst Amy becomes distracted by the bubbles of the hot tub, she can't help but stare at the woman opposite to her. Rosa's eyes trail from Kat's face down to the dark-green bikini covering her body, then she clears her throat as she forces herself to look away.

"So, here we all are, finally relaxing as a squad together in the tub," Jake observes with a smile. "It's fun, huh?"

"I can't hear anyone," Holt says loudly. "Can we please turn off the jets?" Jake nods and reaches behind Hitchcock to press the button. "That's better. No more disturbed water."

"Good call," Jake agrees. He looks around the tub. "Wow, without the bubbles, you can really see everything."

"Eyes up here, Peralta," Hitchcock says firmly. Kat stifles her laughter at her friend's expression.

The next activity that they make sure to do every year is to smoke cigars. However, it hadn't been long before the moment was ruined Holt's graphic retelling of the story on how his partner had died from smoking-induced cancer. The cigars had almost immediately been discarded soon after.

After managing to gather the squad downstairs, Jake walks in and sighs. "All right, I admit it... It's weird having the captain here."

"It straight up sucks," Gina complains as she plops down on the couch.

"Should we just go home?" Rosa suggests. She nods to Kat beside her. "What'd you think?"

She sighs. "I'm with whatever Terry thinks." Everyone turns to Jeffords who is grooving along to the music in his headphones. "Terry," Kat calls out.

He removes one of the earbuds. "I am not going anywhere," he declares calmly. "I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes." Gina nods in approval. "I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on."

Katherine leans back and nods. "What he said." She takes a sip of her tequila. "We just gotta make our own parties."

Jake's eyes suddenly widen as he loudly gasps. "That's it," he exclaims. "Vacation Kat and Terry, you're geniuses!"

She hums. "Tell me something I don't know."

"We'll have two parties, a fun one down here with just us, and then an awkward, uncomfortable one in the living room with Holt," Jake tells them. His friends perk up, interested by the proposition. "He doesn't even have to know about it! Separate parties, separate but equal- forget I said that phrase. Okay, we don't have much time. Captain's in the bathroom, and we all know how efficient he is in there. Here's the plan, the boring Holt party will be in the living room. At least three of us must be with him in that room at all times. It's not a party if there aren't four people."

"Especially between the sheets," Amy smirks. She grabs Scully's hand and high-fives it.

"I gotta say, this is my favourite stage in the Santiago drunkenness scale," Kat admits with a grin. Rosa chuckles.

"The other party will be in here," Jake continues. "Shifts at each party will be twenty minutes and staggered. Any questions?"

Charles looks up to him with furrowed brows. "How do you get your hair like that?"

"Born this way," Jake replies. Charles throws a hand up in annoyance. "Also, Hitchcock and Scully are not to be left alone with the captain. They'll annoy him into leaving his party with their weird sunken casino idea."

"It's not an idea," Hitchcock argues. "It's a scheme."

"How is that any better?" Kat retorts.

Jake waves a hand to her. "It's not, it is way worse. I think this is gonna work. And who knows? Maybe the Holt party will even be fun."

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎。 ⋆

Thankfully, Kat wasn't due to go upstairs until the second shift, so she finds herself with Rosa once more. Both she and Charles had been asked to create a reply to Marcus. They had reserved the table with chips and salsa, something that drunk Kat found herself to be obsessed with.

"Okay, so Marcus wrote, 'What you doing right now?' Then a smiley face blowing a kiss," Charles reads. He looks to Kat as he nods. "Oh, he's good."

Rosa hesitates for a moment. "We could say, 'Thinking about you,'" she suggests. She huffs in frustration and places her head in her hands. "Forget it, that's stupid."

"No," Katherine says quickly. "It's not stupid. I wouldn't go as far as Charles and say it's poetry." He grimaces at how she had guessed his response. "But it's perfect for this." Rosa hesitantly removes a hand covering her eyes and they nod at her reassuringly.

"First shift is done," Jake announces as Gina closes the door behind him.

"How was it?" Rosa asks.

"I'm not gonna lie. It was pretty brutal. But on the plus side, I now hate a whole new genre of music. All right, Boyle, Kat, Rosa, Amy, and Hitchcock, you're up. Come on, get on it!"

"And under it," Amy says salaciously. "Bangarang."

"Ames, Ames, Ames," Gina calls out. She hands the woman a tall glass of gin and tonic. "You don't want to be around Holt in your current state. Say hello to the most confident woman alive."

Amy takes large sips of the drink and grimaces at the taste. "Gah!" She shakes her head. "Drink number five." Gina smiles. "You are a true friend and a hot little piece. You too, second Linetti! Kat, where you at my girl?"

"Goodbye, four-drink Amy," Gina calls after her. "Sloppy sicko..."

Kat groans and downs the rest of her own cup. "Okay, let's do this." While she, Charles, and Amy head up the stairs, Rosa makes sure to grab the bowl of chips and salsa to bring along with them.

The party upstairs with Holt is a big mood dampener. It is not fun; the opposite of fun. Kat normally wouldn't protest to hear a story from Raymond Holt, but after having a decent number of drinks she thinks differently.

She's so bored that her head slowly drops onto Rosa's shoulder, only startling herself awake to then pay attention. Rosa rolls her eyes in amusement and hands the sergeant her snacks to distract herself with.

"His name is... Blair Underwood," Holt reads off his phone. "The man I saw in the grocery store was Blair Underwood."

"So riveting," Kat chimes in with a deadpanned voice.

Amy leans closer to him. "Hey, Ray, it's time."

"For what, Detective Santiago?"

"For you to give me a promotion and a forty percent raise," Amy smiles. Kat shrugs in agreement. "I've been carrying this squad for two years, and my back's getting tired." Charles and Rosa share an equally exhausted look.

Jake jumps in before anything can get worse. "Hey, Amy, can I talk to you for a second?"

Kat watches him take her into the kitchen and her eyes squint in thought. "They'd make a hot ass couple," she announces.

Holt tilts his head slightly. "I wouldn't use those exact words per se, but I agree."

"What is going on?" Rosa whispers in disbelief.

They barely notice Scully joining them. "Hey, Captain," he begins. Holt looks over to him with interest. "How much does it cost to raise a sunken ship?"

Kat gasps. "I want to raise a sunken ship!"

Rosa quickly plucks the glass of wine from her hand before she can drink any more.

"Answer, less than a casino makes in a year hopefully," Hitchcock says with a smile. Scully grins excitedly. Rosa and Charles share another look.

Jake laughs as he hurries over. "What a funny riddle! Hey, Scully, there's this sandwich in the other room I want to show you."

"Say no more!"

"Oh, that was easy."

A few minutes later, Terry has replaced Charles as Holt continues to tell them a story that is somehow even more boring than the last. "It seems to me all-wheel drive is four-wheel drive," he says.

Kat sighs in relief. "Exactly, Raymond," she agrees. "Exactly."

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎。 ⋆

The next hour is full of listening to Holt, dancing downstairs and playing games, then listening to Holt once more. Despite realising that Rosa was trying to get her sober, Kat had been eagerly taking more drinks from Gina. In her opinion, if she was going to get through the upstairs party, she couldn't be sober.

It had been five minutes ago when Rosa had threatened her to stop drinking or she would dump her in the ocean while she was asleep. Naturally, Kat had listened.

"I am the king of quarters," Jake cheers happily. Charles, Gina, and Scully all laugh with him. "See, I told you guys we'd still have fun this weekend!" His face falls when he notices someone in the room. "Wait, Terry, aren't you supposed to be upstairs?"

"Not now," the sergeant replies. "It's schnapps time." Terry downs the contents of the small bottle.

"Son of a bitch," Rosa yells. They all turn around to see her grabbing the Monopoly board and snapping it in half in her rage. Kat is on the other side of the table and giggling at the woman's actions. "How do you win every damn time?"

Jake shakes his head in amusement that she had thought she would be able to beat Kat, even whilst she's drunk. "Amateur," he says to himself. "Okay, Amy and Hitchcock are still upstairs. I think we're still good."

"Six-drink Amy..." Amy walks into the room and slides down the post of the stairwell in distraught. "Is so alone."

"Oh, no," Gina groans. "Six-drink Amy isn't fun. She's just sad!" She punches Scully's arm as she says, "Damn it."

Jake surveys the room with worry. "Guys, this is really bad," he stresses. "Got to get up there."

But just as he starts over to the stairs, Holt walks in. "Now, where is everyone?" Jake spins around. "Ah, detectives." The captain stops upon realising they're all in the room. "You were having a party without me."

"Captain-"

"No need to explain."

Kat sighs as he walks out. "This is gonna sound controversial," Jake begins, attempting to lighten the mood. "But I think that went pretty good."

Almost everyone but Amy has started to sober up. The group are all sat together around the couch as they strew over what had just happened. They shouldn't be surprised that Holt had caught them, though. What did they think was going to happen?

"Man, I've never seen Captain Holt that upset before," Jake says with a frown. "He looks like a sad block of granite."

"What are we gonna do?" Charles asks glumly. "How do you cheer up granite?"

"Well, you could salvage it, much like the casino we've been talk-"

"No more casinos," Kat interrupts firmly. Jake nods in agreement with her. "I swear to God, if you say casino one more time, I will bury you both six feet underground."

Gina hums. "I forgot that drunk Kat is so much more violent than sober Kat..."

"I feel awful," Terry states. "My fanny's not deep enough to fix this. Vacation Terry..." He unclips the bag from around his waist and throws it to the side. "... is dead. I'm gonna go talk to Captain Holt."

"No, don't do that," Jake sighs. "I invited him here; I should go talk to him."

"Okay," Terry says simply, returning to his position on the couch.

"What? Really thought you were gonna fight me on that, and then we'd have a whole back-and-forth, and eventually you'd do, 'Jake, I respect you, but I got to do this.'"

"No, it's uncomfortable," Jeffords corrects. "I'd much rather you do it."

"And it is your fault," Katherine adds pointedly.

"All right, fine. Here I go."

"You're walking in place," Terry points out with exasperation.

"All right!" Jake yells before storming off.

Whilst Jake begins his long and meaningful conversation with Holt, Kat wanders up to the kitchen to find some ice-cream. After scouring the freezer for a minute, she finally finds a tub of choc-mint and happily takes a seat on one of the stools.

Rosa hurries into the room with her phone in hand. "Hey, I need to write Marcus back fast," she says frantically. "He's already freaked out by how long it takes me to text him back."

Kat sets her spoon down and looks at the woman thoughtfully. "I'm not helping," she finally says.

Rosa's eyes widen in alarm as she sits down beside her. "What?" she protests. "Why? You're so good at this stuff and I'm not. I like him. I really like him. I don't want to screw this crap up."

She smiles softly. "You're not as bad as you think," Kat reassures. "Everything you just said to me, say to him."

Rosa glances to her again before quickly typing out the message. She throws her head back and sighs. "Ugh, I sent it. He didn't write back, so he hates it," she concludes.

"He doesn't hate it, you just sent it." She grabs Rosa's phone from her hand. "Okay, see? Dot, dot, dot. It's happening." The phone chimes. "It's a shirtless pic! We did it. We did it!" Kat wraps an arm around Rosa's shoulders and pulls her in for a brief side-hug.

"Thanks. Seriously, thanks," Rosa says with a smile. "Okay, now I'm gonna leave. Don't follow me. Things are about to get intense." As she hurries out the room whilst pulling off her shirt, Kat shakes her head with a laugh.

⋆。 ﾟ✩。 ⋆。 ﾟ☀︎。 ⋆

"I call the game 'real Ray or fake Ray?'" Jake announces. "And joining us is a very special contestant, Captain Ray Holt himself!"

They all cheer as Holt bursts into the room. Kat's eyes widen in surprise as he takes a beer from Scully. Whatever Jake had said to him had done wonders. She's just glad the captain feels like he can let go around them now. Amy lays beside her and Rosa, fast asleep as she's dealt the consequences of drinking so much.

"All right, here's how the game works. I will say a phrase. You tell me if I made it up, or if it's something that Captain Holt actually said in real life to an actual human being."

Holt nods. "I understand the logic of this game," he says.

"Great," Jake smiles. He brings out the cards he had written up. "Phrase number one..." He lowers his voice to mimic Holt's. "'The futility of lighting candles only to blow them out immediately is just one reason I find children's birthday parties impractical.'"

"Holt," Charles, Kat, Rosa, and Hitchcock call out quickly.

"Mm, fake," Gina decides.

"I say fake, too," Terry agrees.

"I don't remember saying it, so if must be fake," Raymond says.

"It was real," Jake exclaims. They erupt with cheers and protests, Charles leaning forward to high-five Kat and Rosa. "To Terry's kids at their birthday party."

"Oh, I remember now," Holt declares. "Oh, do another one. Do another one."

"All right, phrase number two: 'Any smile that lasts longer than a second and a half is a con man's ruse.'"

They all agree that the statement is fake.

"I said it," Raymond says with a straight face. He leaps off his chair to yell, "And I meant it!" And the smile on his face lasts much longer than a second and a half.

𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 😭