An hour goes by and then another, and another and soon, it's five hours later. It's reaching just about eight in the morning. Doctor Choi has stopped in only a few times to check on you but other nurses have been rotating out of the room all night. They check your vitals and ask your dad, Tom, and Harrison if they're doing alright.

The three of them are sat uncomfortably but always say they're fine. Every so often, your dad and Harrison have gotten up to walk, stretch, grab a snack from the vending machine, anything to get away from the constant beeping of monitors. But, Tom, on the other hand, hasn't dared to move.

There's that fear in his head, trickling into his veins just like the medication that's at a steady drip into your IV. If he leaves, there's a chance your heart could fail. It happens, you said it yourself. That's what happened to Alex. He didn't make it the entire time they thought he did. What if the same thing happens to you and Tom isn't there? He feels hopeless and helpless though, just sitting and waiting for a miracle. It's exhausting and he's exhausted. Tom's slept for only two hours and that was at your apartment. He hasn't gotten a second of sleep since he got to the hospital. Harrison and your dad have managed to doze off a few times, Harrison more so. But, Tom's eyes stay open, drooping but open.

"Aye," Harrison says, walking back into the room and gaining Tom's attention. "Seb's awake and she's gonna bring me my wallet, forgot it when I left last night. Do you need anything?"

Tom glances to you and back to Harrison, letting out a sigh. "My wallet." Tom mumbles.

"That all?" Harrison asks.

"She know how to get blood out of stuff?"

Harrison's brows furrow as he shakes his head. "No clue. I'll ask for you and have her wash the hoodie if you want."

"Yeah, thanks." Tom says. "Um," He shakes his head. "Ember had food last night but I dunno-"

"I'll have her check." Harrison cuts him off.

"Can you?" Tom raises his brows.

Harrison shakes his head. "Nah, I'm not leaving."

Tom rolls his eyes, looking back to you, his hand still holding hers. "You can."

"I'm not going to though." Harrison runs a hand through his hair. "I'll go when you get sleep."

"Not tired." Tom mutters.

"Yeah? Sound and look like it so why don't you sleep? I'll wake you up." Harrison presses.

Tom looks back to him, eyes burning from lack of sleep. "Can't."

"You can," Harrison sighs and puts a hand on Tom's shoulder. "A few minutes. I'll wake you as soon as I get back from downstairs. Fifteen minutes and her dad should be back by then."

Tom licks his lips and nods. "Yeah, alright." He agrees reluctantly but figures fifteen minutes would allow him to function instead of letting his mind think the worst. "There's a key under her mat."

"Good." Harrison says. "Be back." Harrison says before exiting the room.

Tom leans back in his chair, his hand still able to hold onto yours. He leans one elbow on the arm of a chair and his hand in his hand. His eyes slowly close and he's asleep within seconds.

With the coursing adrenaline a few hours prior, he didn't worry about sleep at all but when the adrenaline starts pumping and then stops, there's always a crash. It's as if Tom just needed permission from someone he trusted that he could sleep. He could take a break. He's earned a break to just close his eyes for a little bit.

Sometimes, sleep is for the best. It will pass time and that might seem like a horrible thing now that you have a very short window to live unless you get a heart, but you're on a ventilator anyway. Tom can talk but you can't respond. You can just lay there, asleep as the machine breathes for you. You wouldn't be mad or curse Tom for taking a few hours of shuteye. You wouldn't even be mad if he went home for a shower and deep down, Tom is very well aware of that. However, he refuses to listen to that part, choosing to stay. He doesn't want to run this time.

-

Tom's head feels fogged, similar to a trance as his eyes are peeled open, staring around the room. Your dad is seated in his normal seat on the opposite side of your bed and Harrison is on the other side of him, texting someone Tom isn't sure of. The lights are almost blinding and the constant beeping is driving him mad but a knock on the open glass door draws his attention away from the annoyance. Doctor Choi stands in the entrance and he seems happy, maybe a little too happy. Happiness makes Tom's heart jump to his throat with hope that a miracle came through.

And it did.

"We found a heart." Doctor Choi announces.

Tom's eyes nearly bulge out of his head while your dad glances to you and back to Doctor Choi before leaving his seat. Your dad, in a sudden rush, quickly hugs Doctor Choi. Tears of joy cloud his eyes while Harrison is patting Tom's back. Tom looks to you, still on the ventilator and he's speechless. Not a single word can come from his mouth because you're going to be okay. Being optimistic has paid off and you're going to be okay. His hand grabs yours, tighter than before and he just smiles, genuinely smiles and excitement starts to flood through his veins like a dam had just broken.

"We're going to prep her for surgery now." Doctor Choi says, Tom's attention being pulled to him once more.

Tom sincerely can't believe it. He always expects the worst but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen. Your clock isn't close to running out and they've already found you a heart. You'll get a new one and be able to be happy and healthy again.

Your laugh. That's what Tom is looking forward to. He wants to hear you laugh at his stupid jokes and he wants to hear you giggle whenever he tries to flirt with you. And, Tom is ready to hug you again. You give the best hugs and Tom's never felt so cold without them but soon, your arms can be wrapped around him once more and the scent of your shampoo will consume him and everything will feel safe again, feel okay.

But, then the monitors start going off.

Doctor Choi's face falls and Tom stands up, looking at the monitors and you, heart speeding out of his chest like a funny car driving down a quarter mile track. Doctor Choi moves to you quickly, calling for help. The straight beep starts to fill the room and Tom's mouth runs dry as he's frozen in place. Doctor Choi is pressing a button, calling a code and nurses rush in. One is pulling Tom away and the others are circling you.

"What's going on?" Tom asks, panic in his voice as one of the nurses start removing the vent.

"Get them out of here." Doctor Choi demands after ordering a nurse to give you medication, a nurse moving to the group of three to remove them.

Tom pulls away, not daring to move. "No!" He yells at the nurse. "She's getting a heart, right?" Tom is staring down at the nurse and all she can do is tell him to leave.

"You can't be in here anymore." She says, trying to keep her voice calm.

"C'mon, let them help her." Harrison says, pulling Tom's shoulder.

Doctor Choi orders another round of medication as Tom continues to fight. You seem so frail under the pressure of the CPR and it's traumatizing. The flatline beep is cursing Tom's hearing over the rustling of nurses and Doctor Choi.

"Let me the fuck go!" Tom screams back at Harrison. "I'm not leaving!" Tom's voice cracks.

"Get them out of here!" Doctor Choi glances over his shoulder once more.

"Now, or I'll call security to have them escort you out of here." The nurse's voice loses its calm tone.

"Call, don't fuckin' care. I'm not going anywhere!" Tom yells in the nurse's face, fear and dread filling his senses and right mind.

Doctor Choi stops his movements, looking to the monitors and back to you. Nurses look to him, eyes filled with lost hope and sadness. Harrison is trying to pull Tom away but Tom is glued to the floor, refusing to move and the nurse can't move him. It's like it's all happening in slow motion again. This can't be happening.

"Help her!" Tom screams. Doctor Choi looks back to him and to the nurses, his head shaking. "No! That's your fuckin' job! To help her!" Tom screams, Harrison now trying to pull him back with both hands, barely getting Tom to move as he fights his best friend off.

"Time of death–"

"This is your fuckin' job! You said she was getting a heart!" Tom screams and fights off Harrison moving fully back into the room.

"I'm sorry fo-"

"Keep trying!" Tom hollers, grabbing Doctor Choi by the collar of his white coat, Harrison is quick on Tom, trying to pull him off.

"C'mon, let go." Harrison says.

"Keep going!" Tom cries, his grip not loosening as he shakes Doctor Choi.

"I will call-"

"Fuck off with it, just help her!" Tom's ears flare red as a few nurses are trying to pull him off of Doctor Choi. "You said she'd get a heart!" There's noise coming from the hall as security starts to come through.

"Get him off of me or sedate him!" Doctor Choi yells.

"Just give her the fuckin' heart!" Tom screams, going to pull back his fist, something he'd never actually do, but Harrison catches it and yanks him off of the doctor.

Tom fights Harrison the entire time, crying and screaming in desperation. He's pleading for them to keep trying, to do something else. There has to be something more they can do. Tom doesn't understand why you can be on the list and not get the heart when it was right there. If your heart fails, they should still be able to give you this heart. Why can't they keep trying? None of it makes sense and he just needs them to keep trying. So, he fights, yells, anything to try and get Harison's grip to lighten up when a sharp quick pain hits Tom's arm.

"Please, just help her!" Tom cries out as his body starts to relax.

"Time of death," Doctor Choi starts to say again, looking at the clock.

"Please," Tom pleads, eyes starting to close as Harrison helps him to the floor before he completely passes out.

-

Tom jolts awake as slight pressure is put on his shoulders. He nearly lets out a yell at the sudden contact but his eyes snap open, heart speeding out of his chest. Monitors beep at a steady rate and Tom's eyes land on you, still breathing with the ventilator. Tom takes in a deep breath and leans back in his chair, running his hands over his face.

"Aye, you alright, mate?" Harrison asks.

"Yeah," Tom says. "Was a dream."

Shame starts to come through Tom. The last thing he needs right now are nightmares but his brain doesn't seem to care what he needs or wants. He doesn't need to be reminded that there's a countdown and anything can happen in that time window. He hates it. He is fucking helpless and he just has to live with it. And, part of him is stuck on this. What if you die and these nightmares start up again? Regularly? What if they start merging together and it's all a horror show all over again? Tom is strong, but he's not strong enough to go through it again. He promised he would be, but he shouldn't make promises he can't keep.

Harrison nods, eyes saddened and scared for his friend. "Seb's just left. She's going to y/n's for you and she'll be back in a bit."

"Thanks." Tom says, leaning forward again. "Did anyone say anything?" His voice is hesitant as he looks to Harrison.

"Nah, sorry." Harrison shakes his head, blonde curls moving softly. "Uh," He goes to rub the back of his neck. "Her parents are here though, could give them a bit."

Tom looks to the glass doors and sees your mom being embraced in a hug by your dad. "Yeah, alright, Okay." Tom says, releasing your hand as he stands up.

He leans over you and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. His lips press to your forehead softly, Tom carefully avoiding the tubing coming from your mouth. He doesn't want to leave but it's not right for your parents to not get to be alone with their daughter. Harrison might not be able to get him to leave and get proper rest, but your parents can at least get him to wander around and stretch his legs a bit. Tom has the respect and decency for them as well as you. You'd be pissed if he refused to leave.

Tom and Harrison leave the room and allow your parents inside for time alone. They exchange sorrow-filled smiles as they pass each other but no words are exchanged. Harrison decides to walk Tom to the vending machine on the first floor, trying to get his head distracted from everything that's going on and overwhelming dread that's surely killing him. Harrison talks but Tom just nods, staring blankly as they pass a nurse here and there and a patient, rooms filled with people and TVs playing softly. Harrison notices Tom not really paying attention but that doesn't stop him. He just wants to be a distraction. It's horrible to feel helpless and that's all he feels right now so he can only imagine what's going through Tom's head. What could possibly be going through his head all over again.

"What do you want?" Harrison switches topics as they approach the vending machine.

Tom looks over the selection and shrugs his shoulders. "Not hungry."

Harrison sighs as he puts money into the machine. "You've got to eat something. When's the last time you ate?"

Tom, normally, would send Harrison a harsh glare but in this moment, he just feels paralyzed. Everything feels blank and like he's just going through the motions. He's not really there or anything. He's not completely breathing or living, he's just existing in this moment with his friend. No emotion, just numb.

"Dunno, nine." Tom mumbles, eyes staring at the machine still.

Harrison presses a few buttons and a bag of Cheetos falls. He picks it up and hands it over. "Just eat, alright?"

"Why? I'm not fuckin' hungry." Tom almost snaps but his voice doesn't rise.

"Because food is good for you. It will give you energy and I'm your best mate so eat the damn Cheetos." Harrison demands, turning back to the machine.

"You don't have to babysit me." Tom mumbles, fiddling with the bag of food.

"Someone has to." Harrison retorts. "And don't start shit, alright? Someone needs to make sure you're not losing your shit and I'm that person whether you like it or not." Tom remains silent, something completely uncharacteristic. Harrison turns around and cocks a brow. "Not gonna try and argue?"

Tom shakes his head. "Not worth it." Tom looks to the side, rolling his shoulders and starts walking down the hall.

Harrison quickly grabs his snack and follows Tom's lead. "Where are you going?" Harrison asks, opening his bag of chips.

"Somewhere to talk." Tom's voice is hushed and Harrison understands as he sees the signs.

"Yeah, okay." Harrison says, deciding not to ask any questions and let Tom do whatever he needs to do.

They follow the signs that lead them to a large chapel. There's no one inside which is what Tom was hoping for. Regardless of religious viewpoints, sometimes there's a strange comfort in being able to sit down in an open area and just talk. Not to anyone specific but just...speak. There's no judgment and others do it, too while remaining respectful and keeping their voice low. But, that's the thing. Within a chapel, even when it's empty, sometimes just voicing what's going through one's mind can ease the sense of complete hopelessness, loneliness, and helplessness. Tom just needs to speak for a minute and try to regain a little bit of hope.

Tom hands off his unopened food to Harrison nd takes a seat in a pew while Harrison stays in the hall, deciding to just let Tom do his thing. Tom looks to his hands in his lap, fiddling with his fingers before wiping his hands on his pants. He still has his pajama pants on, a few small dark blotches decorte the blue fabric. He sighs and closes his eyes for a few seconds.

He takes in a shaky breath. "I, uh, don't know if anyone's out there." Tom's voice is barely a whisper as his eyes go back to his hands. "But, if there is, I dunno." He licks his lips and lets a few beats pass. "The universe or....something, I-just someone out there, don't let her die." Tom looks up as his vision starts to go blurry. "Please, if someone is out there listening, do not let her die. I-I can't....she doesn't deserve it." His voice is broken with every word that leaves his lips. "I don't deserve her but she....she picked me anyway and she can't die. She's too good."

A noise from the back of the chapel pulls Tom's attention. A woman in a yellow sundress, tears just glistening her face in the dimmed light as she takes a seat a few rows behind Tom. She bows her head and Tom turns back around. He can her softly start whispering to herself which makes him feel like he can continue.

"Bad things happen to good people....but, please don't let this bad thing happen to her. She's...she's everything I wish I could be and everything anyone should be. Please, do not take her from me. Please." Tom wipes the tears that are slowly spilling from his eyes before going silent.

He sits in the silence for a few minutes, just letting time pass. There's comfort in the silence. No beeping counting down the seconds. Just, quiet besides the woman's soft whispers. And, for some reason, that silence is allowing Tom to breathe for just a few minutes. It allows him to gather himself. He's gotten his words off his chest and his head is still throbbing from the persistent noise and lack of sleep, but he can breathe. He can think a little straighter. It helps.

After a few minutes, Tom wipes the few stray tears before getting up, deciding he's said all he can and maybe he should allow the woman to herself.

Tom exits the chapel and sees Harrison on his phone, eating the bag of his chips. "Hey." Tom gets his attention and Harrison looks up, locking his phone.

"Better?" Harrison asks, locking his phone and shoving it into his pocket.

Tom shakes his head. "Not really." Harrison's eyes are sad as he nods. "Kind of, yeah." Tom admits, the feeling of being able to speak freely in an open room without judgment settling in.

"You want to head back up then?" Harrison asks, handing Tom his bag of Cheetos.

"Yeah," Tom nods once, opening the bag.

"Good." Harrison says and jerks his head, his heart feeling like the smallest weight has been lifted.

"Seb?" Tom asks as the boys walk through the hall.

"We don't have to talk about it." Harrison states, shaking his head and eating another chip.

"Don't wanna talk about anything else and kind of want somethin' to distract me, ya know?" Tom admits.

Harrison's eyes widen and he nods simply, content that his friend is trying to stay sturdy now. Not wallowing in pity or sadness, he wants a distraction. Harrison's relieved.

"Yeah, she was over last night when you texted." Harrison states, a soft grin tugging at his lips.

"Yeah?" Tom pushes.

"Kind of y/n's idea to talk to her because I had her talk to you and told her not to give up."

Tom lets out a chuckle, the first light-hearted sound to escape his mouth in hours. "Of course she did."

"Hey, it worked, kind of." Harrison says. "Still got a lot of work and talking to do but we're making progress."

"I'm happy for ya, mate." Tom looks to him, a half smile on his face that's very much forced but Harrison accepts it, knowing Tom is being sincere with his words.

"Thanks." Harrison says.

The rest of the walk, Harrison talked about how him and Seb are going to try and sort out their issues between each other and how much he does like her. While Tom isn't great conversation for the time being, he is enjoying hearing Harrison talk about his relationship with Seb. It's something that's keeping his mind busy. Of course, he feels guilty for letting his mind get distracted but on the other hand, his head is pounding and he just needs something to help and hearing about Harrison and Seb is helping. He's happy for his friend, maybe his friend can find happiness with someone.

When Tom and Harrison reach your room, your parents are sat next to each other, hands locked together and eyes drenched in sorrow. The boys decide to wait outside until one of them gives them the okay to re-enter the room, careful not to disturb them but it isn't long before your mom notices them. She nudges her husband and the two get up to meet the boys.

"Would it be alright if we had a word with Tom alone?" Your mom asks Harrison kindly.

"Yeah, I'll go." Harrison nods, jerking his head towards your room and heading in there.

"Doctor Choi said you called the ambulance?" Your mom asked.

"Yeah, I did."

"He said had you just driven her here or waited," Your mom's voice catches in her throat. "It would have been too late."

"I-it wasn't quick enough though." Tom looks into her room, Harrison taking Tom's usual place.

"No," Your dad says. "You were. Once something like this happens, in a state like y/n was in, they almost always end up on a vent." Your dad explains.

Tom hangs his head. "We went boxing earlier, it didn't have anything to do with that...did it? She wasn't working hard or anything, I made sure she took breaks and drank water."

"No, no, of course not." Your mom says quickly. "This just happens. Her heart was already weakening. You did good, Tom."

Tom nods, his eyes starting to gloss over. The three of them go back into the room and Harrison moves to allow Tom his seat back. Conversation starts and stops as time goes by. Tom mostly nods along, forcing smiles when need be but his mouth mostly remains closed and dry, eyes on you.

The sight of you is depressing on its own. Someone once so full of life now solely relying on a machine to keep you breathing. Your smile isn't lighting up the room and your laugh isn't lightening the mood. Nothing. A constant stream of beeps is all they get and it's depressing. But, watching Tom just stare and see his eyes slowly start losing hope as the hours tick by, that's worse. It's as if there are two people just disintegrating in front of their eyes.

But, the look of hopeless sadness is overcome with fear the second Doctor Choi steps into the room. His face looks almost relieved and he has scrubs on, not a white coat. Everyone's eyes are on him and it's a little too similar to Tom's dream.

"We have a heart." Doctor Choi says.

Your mom audible gasps and Harrison pats Tom's back. "She's getting a heart?" Your mom asks, disbelief in her voice.

"It'll be here within the hour. It's coming from county so we're going to take her and prep her now." Doctor Choi smiles, genuinely smiles at the parents who never lost hope.

Tom's heart races as he hopes this isn't another nightmare and, by the looks of it, it doesn't seem like it. Your dad thanks him and nurses and the transport team come in and start getting ready to move you.

It's real. You're going to be taken to surgery where a new heart will be replacing your old one and it's not a dream. And now, Tom the usual pessimist, feels the most hopeful he has in his entire life.

You might just be okay.