I shoveled cereal bits into my mouth, reading from the box ingredients I aim to memorize over the next few days. Along with the contents of my shampoo and the dish washing soap, these were the only things that I haven't memorized, yet.

It's ridiculous, I know, but what could I do? I was bored.

I decided to hole up in my house today. I'm going to spend the whole day lying on the couch, eating nothing but that bucket of popcorn and my last stack of Cocoreos.

I didn't even bother changing out of my thin pajamas, the trains in the design flashing their wicked grins at me. Over the days, I learned to ignore the pattern but there were still times when they creeped me out.

I don't like trains.

Why, oh why, would I have to be stuck in a loop wearing train-speckled nightwear? Ugh.

Either way, I couldn't help but notice that the cereal I was eating actually has taste. I smacked my lips to confirm and yes, I could taste stuff again.

It's not that I forgot the taste, no. It's just that I've been eating this for so long that I subconsciously turned off my tasting capacities to avoid getting tired of it.

Now, my taste buds were working again, somehow seeming like they're telling me to live a little. Living was tasting, they seemed to scream at me. I guess that's that.

I finished eating breakfast and plopped back onto the couch.

The mess I made the other day, back when I threw a tantrum, was already cleaned and fixed. Fixing my mess seemed to be the only thing the reset was good for. I could burn the entire City and it will be fixed by tomorrow.

Which I already did, for the record. I have the recount of that event somewhere in my diary, too.

Such an interesting time, my wild phase was.

No matter. Today, I'm just going to watch TV. Flip through a few channels. And oh, I have to check if I still have that episode of Resha: The Sword of Destiny memorized. That's a fun thing to do whenever I ran out of stuff to distract myself with.

I thumbed the next channel button in the remote and began the day. I reached the channel playing Resha at the right window time. The iconic opening song played. I danced to it, not caring if the curtains by my windows were open and that any passerby could see me dancing like I'm possessed.

Perhaps, doing this could finally get me a taste of Pastor Frank's famed holy water.

Kidding.

The episode rolled out, my mouth and my memory going along with it. I knew every line, every feeling, and every movement. I imitated some, like the one where Resha, the titular character, transforms into a goddess-ish thing.

I laughed at my own silliness. Resha jumped and slashed with her sword. I did the same. Resha jumped back to avoid her opponent's swing. I imitated her only to hit the back of my shins against the low-lying table.

I felt the world spin before me as I tumbled backwards, the couch catching my sorry ass. I panted, resting my head against the couch's backrest. Ugh. I'm never doing that backward jump again.

Stupid low-lying table.

Magazines from the table's rack scattered on the floor, showing me the man's ripped torso again. I averted my eyes. Ugh. I have to do that again?

A thought struck. Oh, that reminds me...

I picked up the magazine, cringing at the fact that I have to see the pictures again. I began turning pages to get to the area where the folded white paper was. I sank into the couch and flipped, page after page, the TV and Resha forgotten.

My eyes burned with the various pictures of ripped men but I braved through them. I need to know what that white paper was.

After a few minutes of cringing, I arrived at the site and the white paper stuck out like a sore thumb. I plucked it from the magazine, taking note of the impressions bulging from this side. Oh, something's written on the inside. I opened the fold and was greeted with the first three words that sent all air from my lungs out of my nose.

My dearest Jule.

I set the magazine down on the table and slouched against the couch. Hold up. This was Mom's handwriting. I glanced at the note stuck on the fridge and confirmed it was.

When had she written this? Why bother hiding it inside a weird-ass magazine? Why wasn't I told?

If you're reading this, you're finally of age to brave those half-naked men.

I blew a strand of hair off my face. Gee, thanks mom. Thanks a lot.

This letter explains a lot of things and I, along with your Dad, want to impart this knowledge to you. You are very special, Jule. You always have been.

Oh, what was this about?

By now, you must have realized that you can remember everything that happened yesterday and every day after that. You must have been questioning this. Why, of all people, are you the only one who can remember? Why?

Mom guessed right. I did question it. But now, I don't care anymore. Oh, where was the popcorn when I needed it?

We didn't want you to find this before you're mature enough to handle the truth, hence the magazine ruse. Now, I will assume that you are ready.

Yeah, mom. I'm ready for days. Just tell me.

The reason why you can remember things is because of us.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. What?

I read the sentence again. And again. And the third time. Oh, I wasn't reading it wrong. But if I wasn't then...

We may not know how this world came to be but we know some of its basic principles. The letter continued. People like us, or those who remember the past and hope for the future, were brought about by the same type of people. We can remember because they can. They had been generous enough to lend us some of their heart and encouraged us to start making our own memories.

What? Did this mean that the reason I could remember was because...

Jule, you were able to remember because of Dad and I. We gave you everything you needed to be able to dream. We believed in you and we don't want you to be caged in this reality without even knowing it. We wanted you to fight, to dream, and to question everything. We wanted you to be free.

We wanted you to be able to see tomorrow.

This dream that I had, that I wished to fulfill, was that because of Mom and Dad? Tears blurred my vision but I forced myself to keep reading.

Unfortunately, there is a consequence for everything we do in this world. As we contribute to how people around us make their memories, as we slowly change them to be the person they were destined to be, it takes some from us. No, not just some. It takes everything from us.

I knitted my eyebrows. What does that mean? What do you mean, Mom?

Every moment you spend with the person you wished to be like you, the more of yourself you give unto them. You can't take it back. You wouldn't even realize it had you not been aware of it beforehand. We are timed creatures, Jule. If we chose a person, there was no going back. It's either you give them your all or give them nothing. It's a gamble we all have to live with.

I reflected back to my thoughts about stars colliding and black holes. Changing lives was all a gamble. It's based on nothing but chances.

We, I mean, Dad and I, loved you so much that we gave up everything for you. By the time you were able to read this, you must have wondered why you couldn't remember our faces, our voices, and even any of our other nuances. That's the consequence. If we give our everything to someone, we will have nothing left. We will be forgotten. Like the dead.

Tears dropped into the paper, blotting the neat lines of ink. I covered my mouth with my fist, my sobs already shaking my shoulders. Good God. Was this what happened? Was that...?

I whipped to the fridge where their last note was pinned to. We'll be back for dinner. Except that they hadn't made it back because they disappeared from everyone's memories. That's probably our last day together and I didn't even know it.

I waited for them all this time. God, I miss them so much. But I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe everything Mom was claiming to have happened. My parents were dead, forgotten. They died because of me.

My hands shook, the paper somehow bearing more weight than it originally did.

I know that you think this is all unfair but I would urge you to see it as our gift. It will be a dark, lonely road ahead of you. That's why I urge you to find your person. Give them the same gift we gave you. The greatest reward a human soul can have was to be able to love at least once. Once you have done that, we can finally be together, wherever souls go after they're forgotten.

God. Were they saying I should kill myself? Was I going to die soon?

Jule, no matter how unfair this may all seem, remember that the way out of this loop is to remember. The only escape is to build a connection with someone so deep it transcends the rules of this world. The only way out is to love.

I tightened my hold on the paper, crumpling a corner of it.

We love you so much, Jule. Don't ever forget that. Mom and Dad.

I didn't stop my tears from falling. I set the paper on the table, folding my knees to my chest. I couldn't believe this.

My parents sacrificed themselves so I could live in this world. They're the ones that made me remember. They're claiming it's a gift, but I was allowed to be honest, it's nothing but a curse. I gained nothing from it except guilt, shame, and anger. I don't have anything—

I gasped, whirling to the direction of the door as if I could bolt out of my house and into Rom's. Oh, God. Rom. Was he...?

No, that's ridiculous. There's no way he's...

You are my home, Jule.

His words stabbed at the back of my head like a sharp spear. That night, that perfect night, he held me close to him and whispered those words. He made my heart flutter, sending chills down my spine so electric I can still feel them days after.

Does he...? Were we...?

No, that's ridiculous. We aren't anything. We would never be. This was...

The only way out is to love.

The answer I've spent all my days searching for was just here, in my living room, in the midst of an ad magazine. The way out of this loop was to love...Rom, the person that I didn't choose, but rather the world chose for me by changing my world, completely. Absolutely.

If I really love Rom, I would have to give everything to him. Then when my time runs out, I would be forgotten. I would fade away.

If I love, I would be forgotten like the dead.

Just like my parents, I would be reduced as a vague memory lying inside the mind of the person they loved most. Was I...

Am I destined to be just like that? Would Rom even allow it?

We were just starting our friendship. If I vanished right now, I would leave him alone just like my parents did. He would forget me and wonder why in the world he was able to remember. He would spend dark and lonely days without anyone to talk to. He would have to live through all that I've lived through.

I don't want to do that. I don't want any of that to happen to him. He didn't deserve it.

The only way to avoid that from happening was to abolish our connection. That's the only thing I could come up with. It would be hard, I'm sure. We would be angry with each other. But if it's what it takes to still somehow be with Rom and not leave him alone, then I would do it.

I'm aware that this could be seen as a stint to preserve my life but if I vanish, Rom would be alone. I don't want that to happen because of me.

I punched the couch's backrest. I shouldn't have tried anything. We never should have met. I should have just learned to be content with my life. I should have just eaten my complaints and pushed to live this life as quietly as I could. I shouldn't have dreamed. I shouldn't have looked for a way out.

If I found the world unfair before, I found it even more unfair even now. It's like we couldn't even be happy. The loop takes away any chance to build a deeper connection by resetting everything. To people like me who could remember, if we ever had the chance to change a life, to influence someone to be like us, we would die. We would be blown into the wind, leaving the person we changed, alone and ignorant.

It's a hellish cycle we have been enduring. I refused to let it continue. If I was the only one who chose not to pass on this curse, I would be. I would return things to the way they were and not seek out anyone again.

I would right the world that was so wrong in the first place.

I would right it because I'm the only one who can.