I don't want to see anyone today. I want Cocoreos.

I lay on the couch, staring passively at the TV, the talk show a dull noise in my ears. I understood nothing and I was not even trying.

I was done with trying.

Fresh tears sprang to my eyes and I hastily wiped them away with my hoodie sleeve. It didn't take long for me to change into my clothes yesterday and sulk on the couch after I found myself staring at the bland ceiling.

I've been here the whole morning, crying like I'm dumped. It's pathetic, even for my standards. I chided myself so many times to stop this childish act but it seems like my body didn't want to.

I would calm down for a few minutes but whenever my thoughts flitted to Rom and to what happened last night, I couldn't help but sob like a baby with a soiled loin.

I keep telling myself that it's unfair. I worked so hard and sacrificed many things only to be duped by the reset. What's worse was that this whole fiasco made me hope.

It made me hope for a chance to make my dream come true. It made me think that I finally can make a real connection with someone. God, it even made me look forward to tomorrow.

After what happened last night, my eyes were opened that everything I'm doing to get myself out of this loop wasn't going to work. Nothing will. Rom wasn't the answer. Not one of the stupid people in this City was going to be the answer.

That's what fate shoved into my face the moment I woke up to this new day.

There was no way out. There was no hope. I'm stuck here as much as everyone else. I should just give up. Perhaps, I'll come to love this repetitive pattern of life.

Bullcrap.

There's no way I'm going to sit still and accept this to be my only reality. There's simply no way.

But what if it was? What then?

The loop reset Rom's memories to punish me from wishing to open someone's eyes and actually succeeding. Perhaps I'm not supposed to do it. Perhaps I'm simply not that worthy.

Then why the hell could I remember crap?!

I screamed at the low-lying table in front of me and pushed it away with all my might. With me lying down on the couch and the table as heavy as a truck, I succeeded in moving it a few millimeters.

I punched the couch's backrest, pressed a throw pillow on my face, and screamed. I shrieked and shrieked, until my throat was scratched dry and my voice turned hoarse. I don't care. It would be gone tomorrow.

I finished screaming and flung the pillow the farthest I could. It slammed into a display table, sending numerous figurines crashing to the floor or against each other. The sound of porcelain crunching against the carpeted floor sent my heart reeling. It's a sound of desperation, crying out to me for help.

The figurines needed help so they could be whole again. They need my help to stop them from feeling broken. They called me to fix them.

But who would fix me?

I balled my fists and took a deep breath. One, two. Okay, let's think about this rationally. Stop acting like a kid skipped on during candy-giving at Halloween. Okay.

Why do I think Rom forgot?

Well, I don't know! If I do I would have gone up there and told anyone responsible to go eff themselves off.

I mussed my hair violently before kicking the table again. It moved a little further than when I had pushed it. Good, even when my soles hurt since my feet were clad only with black socks.

A few magazines stacked on the table's rack also fell to the floor, giving me a good view of what kind of stuff Mom gets in her head in her free time.

I tore my eyes off the front cover of one magazine showing a topless male with ripped abs. It's...not a good sight when one wants to be angry at the world. If anything, it just dampened my emotions.

Huh, that proved more effective than the chopping board talk show...

I picked up the magazine and flipped to the first page. Eugh. More ripped dudes showing off their pecs and rock hard muscles. Were these real or just photo manipulated? I flipped page after page, my eyes burning with the pictures of topless men in their briefs and endorsing weird items.

I mean, who would eat canned tuna while practically naked?

I groaned after I saw a fifth picture of a man posing with a car wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and socks. Well, one would get arrested if they drove like that. Pastor Frank certainly wouldn't approve.

I chucked the magazine aside. It flopped lifelessly against the floor and opened to a random page. And yes, more half-naked dudes. I rolled my eyes before proceeding to look at the smashed figurines.

Wait a minute.

I backtracked and looked again. There tucked between the magazine's pages was a folded white paper. That's odd. Where did that come from? Why was that thing there?

I picked it up and was about to flip it open when my doorbell rang. What was that? Nobody rings the doorbell. Granted, no one visits me either. So what's this?

I stuck the paper into my hoodie's front pocket and trudged to the door. I stopped by the ante's mirror and wiped at my eyes. No one could know that I've been crying and throwing a tantrum all morning.

"Coming!" I yelled passively at whoever's at my door.

I shoved my fingers into my hair and did my best to smooth down the tangled strands. Whoever was at my door, they wouldn't like what they're about to see. Oh, perhaps this should scare them off? I don't like visitors anyway.

I rolled my eyes at the mirror and tramped to the door. I reached out, grabbed the knob, twisted it, pulled the door open, only to swing it shut again with such force it jarred my elbow.

"Jule, wait!" Rom cried, lunging for the closing door.

I slammed the door and leaned on it, as if Rom might try kicking it down. "Go away, Rom!" I yelled. "I don't want to see you."

"Hey, I can explain!" Rom banged his palm against the door. "I promise I didn't forget! Please, open the door."

"Go away!" I shrieked, a sob escaping my lips all over again. Tears broke free from my eyes and I sank to the floor, my hands the only thing muffling my sobs. "Go away, please. I can't deal with you right now."

"Jule, just open the door," Rom whispered. His voice sounded like he had been leaning his head against this wooden thing separating us. "I can explain."

It looks like we both won't get anywhere if I continue being like this. So I violently wiped at my tears, stood up, and yanked the door open.

"Explain what?" I asked pointedly. "You forgot your promise. You left me alone in that field waiting for you. Waiting, Rom. I waited for you like a damn dog. Do you know how it feels to hope for something, to believe in something so much that the moment they let you down, you'll have no choice but to hate yourself for even giving them a chance? Yes, I'm talking about me."

I stepped out of my house and stalked closer to Rom. He backed a step probably because of my face...or the state of my hair. "I believed in the fact that maybe, just maybe, I found someone the same as me, someone who could share my burden of living in this godforsaken world. I hoped for you, Rom. I believed in you. You had the strength to make a promise. I was stupid enough to believe them. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"I feel abandoned, Rom," I said, not even caring about how Rom was probably taking my words in. "And I don't want to feel that way again. I don't want to hope anymore. You have changed in many ways I couldn't even list for you. And this? This is the greatest change you've achieved."

"Jule, I'm still me," Rom said, quietly.

"No you're not," I seethed, barely noticing that I had made it down the second step of the stairs. Tears cascaded down my cheeks and I didn't bother wiping them. "You're not the Rom I had yesterday. You're not the Rom I had hundreds of days before this. You change, day after day after day. You will always be a different Rom, every single day."

Rom took a step back. I took one forward. "Do you ever wonder how that feels for me?" I continued. "Do you even get how alone I've felt over the days you forget? I'm all alone, Rom. And this hope you showed me, this change you have been showing me, it kept me going. But after last night, I understood that no matter what I do, you will never be the same. I understood that I just gave up."

Rom stepped closer then and pulled me to him. I squirmed, attempting to push him off me. "Get off," I said, my arms refusing to obey my command. Rom held me tighter, his fingers tangling in my hair further.

"I'm so sorry, Jule," he whispered, his voice tickling my ear. My nose caught a whiff of jasmine from either his hair or his clothes. "You don't deserve that from me. I should've done better."

I sank into his embrace against my will, burying my head against his neck. It's surprisingly warm and gentle. And I was tired—so, so tired of everything.

"I tried so hard to make it there, Jule," Rom said. "I tried so hard to remember. But in the end, there was this fear that I'm never going to be enough for you."

"What?" I pulled away from him to look at his face. "Why would you think that?"

Rom sighed. "You're always out there, picturing what you want for your future and actually doing something about it," he said. "I'm just here, figuring things out. I'm afraid that maybe failing to remember will tie you down. And your outburst just now proves that I wasn't the one who can help you. So I'm sorry."

"What?" I said again, the sound of porcelain shattering loud in my ears. Something had snapped inside me and I don't know what. "You tried to remember?"

Rom nodded. "I did," he said. "I fought with all my might, Jule. In the end, it wasn't enough. I still failed you."

"No," I said, shame blossoming on my chest and building on my throat. "Oh God."

I dropped to a crouch and sobbed into my palm. This wasn't....

He was trying. And I just have to drop that bomb on him. He was carrying this burden just as I was. I have no right to blame him. He was finally being human and this was how I treat him for it? God.

"Oh God, Rom. I'm so sorry," I cried, my chest feeling like it's being stepped on by a thousand tractors. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry."

Rom mirrored my stance and rubbed my back with his hand, muttering soothing words just like he did to Mindy. I couldn't stop crying. "I'm so sorry," I sniffled.

I couldn't seem to stop apologizing, either.

Rom was there, pressing my head against his shoulder and letting me cry on it. Oh God. I exploded at him when he was trying so hard. Oh God. Why was he still here? Shouldn't he have been disillusioned by now? I messed up. Why wasn't he hating me?

"Stop crying, Jule. Please," Rom said. "It's not your fault. This is no one's fault. Please."

I nodded weakly. "I'll try," I blubbered. "I'll try."

"There's a good girl," Rom said. "I know something that will cheer you up."

I pulled away from him and wiped at my already puffy eyes. "What?"

Rom brandished a pack of Cocoreos in front of me, "I brought you a treat," he said, waving the stack of coconutty goodness in front of me. "Turns out, we have a ton of these at home. I thought I'd bring one over."

"How'd you know?" I said, incredulously. "I've never told anyone about this."

Rom raised an eyebrow. "You have an empty pack of this in your bag. I happened to take a peek into it one time when you're getting things from your locker."

Tears burst from my eyes again. This time, they were tears of disbelief and amazement. "You remembered?" I muttered. "Oh God."

"And I'll never forget," Rom said. "Jule loves Cocoreos. It's forever ingrained in my memory."

I sobbed into my hands like a complete drama queen.

"And what's more," Rom continued. "I hope it's not too late to redeem myself."

He brandished a sleek, hand-painted guitar in front of me. Oh God. I didn't even notice its case slung by his shoulder. This was...

"How come you remember everything now?" I asked.

Rom winked. "I told you, I tried hard," he said. "I'm sorry I'm late."

I smiled with my tear-stricken face. "All that matters is that you're here," I said, my voice watery.

Rom returned the gesture with a smile of his own. For me, it's one of the brightest things in the world along with the stars.

Somehow, Rom's smile made me hope again.