Chapter 5 - Fear vs. Affection
The crickets chirp, and the lightning bugs flash their light when Tara is ready to head inside. She grabs Cory by the arm and escorts him upstairs to her old bedroom. Cory has remained semi-catatonic; he knows where he is if Tara talks to him, but his thoughts haven't returned from the hell of the past. The thousand-year stare comes and goes, but Tara is determined to get somewhere with him before they call it a night.
"Cory, Earth to Cory Dubois, are you here with me?"
"Here. Yes, I am here, but which here am I?"
Tara's left partially confused, but she snaps her fingers to get Cory to break the emotionless stare, "Come home to me, baby. Cory Dubois, bring your mind back home. It's me; it's Tara."
"Tara. Yeah, wait – What." Cory manages to say as his expression changes.
Shaking his head, Cory's attention returns to the bedroom, where he focuses on Tara's face, "I'm sorry I dazed out. How long was I gone?" He asks.
"A little while, but I never left your side. Now tell me, where did you go? What happened? How scared were you the day you got hurt? Do those places still hurt? Do you still love me? Were you in love with anyone over there? Am I still what you truly want?"
With his attention hooked on Tara and annoyed at the questions, Cory pulls back and scoots to the corner of the bed. Unwilling to let all of the questions go, Tara scoots closer and reaches out for Cory. Not comfortable being touched, Cory takes her hand and places it on the bed.
"I want some answers. You don't have to tell me everything, but give me something. Not knowing anything scares me, so please, Cory, tell me anything."
"Certain sounds and smells still send me back to my unit at the Combat Hospital. I was scared to death, but for you and everyone here, not for myself, and how the hell can you ask me if I still love you. Of course, I love you! You were my girl for the longest time. You're going to have to learn to handle that. I am going to be edgy at times, especially right now. I have therapy that will help through the VA, but I swear I would never harm you or anyone else. How we trust each other is going to have to evolve, or else this isn't going to work." Cory explains in a low tone.
One of the questions Tara wants goes unanswered. She's always to know if Cory moved on while serving in the Army. Jealousy is still one of her worst characteristics. The way she felt when Cory left for Miami of Ohio begins to return, "Did you hook up with anyone else?"
"No! I placed everything into my work and got my degree. You knew I wanted to get into medical school; well, I can't get in there if I'm flaunting my dick at every girl in my line of sight. So I don't even need to go to med school now, I graduated with a degree in Nursing, and I can work anywhere I want. I played the Army to gain an advantage, but I don't even know if I could handle going back into a hospital to work. I loved being a surgical technician, but I don't know if I could scrub up and walk back into an O-R. If I didn't want to be here with you, I wouldn't be here. I could get a lawyer to set up to pay child support and visitation times with CJ, but my heart belongs to you."
Partially satisfied with the long-winded explanation, Tara again reaches out for Cory, but he still refuses to be touched. Cory gets to his feet to put a little distance between himself and Tara.
"I'll take that as a 'no' for an answer then. But, look, you know I'm still as stubborn as a mule. I will not be lied to or played for a fool. I want you to sit your ass down on this bed and let me touch you. We don't have to sleep together because of our past and what happened in this room. At times I wonder if you ever came home because the way you look at me isn't the same. Even on the day of your father's funeral, I knew things would be difficult between us, but that was you that day. I look at you now, and you're a shell of who you were. The Cory that left this place is still inside. I know it. Now, get your sorry ass down here and talk to me."
Unsatisfied with the tone of her voice, Cory tries to lean against the wall with the window where he looked in earlier that morning. He crosses his arms, and Tara remembers that as a sign of his defenses going up. Attempting to break through the rough exterior, Tara gets to her feet and approaches Cory, where she slowly puts her hands on his hips and then tries to wiggle him away from the wall.
"Want to dance?" Tara asks with an evil grin.
"No," Cory replies.
"Come on; you owe me for missing our senior prom."
Trying to persuade Cory more, Tara turns back to her old stereo to select a CD with a slow song. Down in the living room, Olivia hears the muffled music and smiles.
"Those two, I swear," Olivia says to herself and returns to her book.
The song brings Cory off the wall as he takes Tara from behind with his arms around her waist. They sway through the rest of the song, but when Tara makes a move, it's fast enough that Cory reacts by tightening his grip and nearly squeezing hard enough to hurt Tara.
"Cory! Stop!" Tara manages to say as pain shoots through her body.
Instantly Cory releases her and backs against the wall, "I'm – I'm so sorry. You moved so fast and...."
Tara stretches, then walks up to Cory and holds her hands up to show no aggression, "It's okay, breathe and relax, let's go for a walk."
Clouded with doubt, Cory shoves off the wall to lead the way outside. Along the way to the door, Olivia hears them walking down the steps. She barely peers up when the front door opens and closes, "Slow music, going out for privacy, barely saying a word, yup, I'd say grandbaby number two might be on the way after tonight," Olivia whispers to herself and chuckles.
Out under the streetlamps, Cory and Tara stroll side-by-side in silence. The crickets continue to be the only sounds other than their footsteps on the pavement. After they turn to corner, Tara remembers the night she snuck out to Cory's and snickers for a moment.
"Do you remember the night we went back to your room, and I totally seduced you?"
The memory roars back, but Cory puts his twist on her words, "Don't you mean the night I let you seduce me?"
Tara scoffs and uses her shoulder to nudge Cory, "No! I wanted you and made you give it up that night. If I'm not mistaken, it was your first time, virgin boy."
"Oh really – do tell then, miss rapist!"
Caught off guard by the comment, Tara stops as her jaw slightly dips open, "You are such an asshole!" She says jokingly.
"And you're still the rapist!" Cory replies and takes off jogging while he laughs.
Running behind him, Tara can barely keep up as the distance gets further closer to Cory's. Winded and red in the face from running too hard, Tara bends over when she catches Cory and places her hands on her knees, "Oh hell, you're hurt, and you are still in better shape than me."
Cory bounces on his toes to show off, giggling while Tara needs something to drink.
"Yeah, see, while I was overseas, you were partying and drinking yourself to be left out of shape. You look fit and hot, but you still need to exercise sweetie," Cory teases, then stops bouncing on his toes.
"Take me inside, please. I need to get something to drink before I pass out."
Cory helps Tara back up straight before they head for the front door. Tara leans against the wall while Cory unlocks the door and then helps her inside, where he gets her a glass of ice-cold tea. Tara drinks it slowly, then hands the glass back to Cory before the kitchen lights instantly come on.
"Well, good evening, you two love birds. I'm venturing to guess that things are going good."
Cory shrugs his shoulders, but Tara speaks up on things, "It's been so-so; we've had some fun. Things have been up and down with a couple of incidents."
Lorraine shows a bit of concern, "Anything I need to be concerned over, or anything Cory should talk to his therapist?"
"No, mom, a few things sent me to a distant place, but everything is all good."
Lorraine steps back to hold the kitchen door and motions for Cory and Tara to join her in the living room. They take a seat on the couch while Lorraine pulls her chair over to sit in front of them.
"If I come across preachy, then I will go ahead and apologize. First, however, there are a few things I want to share with the two of you."
Cory and Tara look at each other before giving their undivided attention to Lorraine's speech.
"There are going to be good and bad days in your lives. Some of my worst days were ones like when Kayla died in the back of the ambulance. Tara, when your grandma passed away, I was called there on a night when Cory and Rick got into it with the rich kids when Rick wrecked his van in a race," Lorraine pauses as Cory's face gives away the guilt, "Oh yeah, your father told me about it. Still, I promised not to say anything because he was sticking up for you."
In Cory's mind, some of the events from that night resurface. For example, he recalls the hockey game out on the ice and the illegal check Joe gave him at Frank's request just before the high school season started.
"Soon after that night, Tara and her parents moved back to town. That night started the long chain of events that changed both of you. Cory, you were shy and quiet back when Tara wasn't in your life, but after you met, something clicked that drew out the competitor and outspoken side," Lorraine pauses, then looks at Tara, "As for you, thank you for being the missing part Cory needed in his life. I love the both of you, but I made a mistake back then that has haunted me ever since," Lorraine finishes and wipes tears that form in her eyes.
"Mom..."
"Mrs. Dubois..."
With a hand over her mouth, Lorraine takes a moment to collect herself, "I'm sorry. It still makes me emotional about the things I saw and didn't speak up about at the time. Something that could have possibly kept Kayla out of harm's way made all the difference back then."
There's a concern between Cory and Tara with a look of curiosity.
"Take your time, mom."
"I knew Tara was avoiding the topic of the colleges to visit, and I had plenty of opportunities to tell her on your behalf. I also sit here in this house most days and think about the days I had with your father when we struggled after buying this place. You never knew this, but this house was nearly condemned when we found it. The bank gave us a deal on it, and we busted our asses to make it livable again. Until then, we made our spots in your dad's garage. I was a newbie on the police force, but when we found out I was pregnant with you, your dad worked day and night to make this house ready for you to come home. So, I know a thing or two about hard times. I remember the worst three days when I watched your dad take his final breaths in his hospital bed. The day you came home for his funeral and the drama you two pulled at the funeral home, and the last day that nearly killed me was listening to you scream when you were attacked."
All Tara can do is gasp and cover her mouth with her hand, "Momma Dubois, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
"Even though it doesn't make sense, the good days outweigh the bad ones. A few of the best days of my life were when I first held you, Cory, and that counts almost equally to the day I held CJ in my arms and handed him to your father. Oh, that man bawled like a baby when CJ took his finger and smiled at him. Then, the day you and the hockey team won the state title, I saw something awaken inside of you that I knew was always there. Other days include, I married your dad; we were so broke we barely had two dollars to our names, but he managed to make the garage work while I went off to the academy. Finally, the day you showed up in that restaurant was one of the very best days of my life. Life isn't fair; we all know that. It comes and goes with everything we do and decide, but if you want to make this work, then take my advice and excuse me for a minute," Lorraine says and excuses herself to get something to drink.
Shortly after sitting back in her chair with a few sips from her favorite glass, Lorraine begins to explain something to Cory and Tara.
"I love you both. But, unfortunately, you're no longer children, and you have your child to think about now. Cory Dubois Jr. has the world at his fingertips. If you want this to work again, you're both going to need to take a step back. It would be best if you became friends again. Trust is an important factor in every relationship, and love doesn't exist without trust but, most importantly, fully open conversation. Tara, you have a jealous side that you must work to overcome and pride to let go of. You have such a big heart, but you're blinded by ambition and fear of being screwed over. I love you like a daughter-in-law, but learn to trust openly. I know your past from Arkansas was tough; I've talked with your mom about things that shaped your life before you moved here. That being said, Cory, you need to speak up about your bad days. You don't need to tell us what is driving it, but let us in a little bit more. You are loved more than you know, and everyone in your life is here to lift you back up. You have a home here and with Rick as long as you need, but don't make Tara put her life on hold if she isn't what you want. Love doesn't solve anything; it complicates them, but that being said, love is what makes life worth living. I know there's love between you, and it would melt my heart all over again to see it work. That's all I have to say. So, goodnight, and if you need to crash in your room, be safe and don't overcomplicate your lives more than you have already." Lorraine gets to her feet to place her chair back in its spot and heads to bed.
Once her bedroom door is shut, Cory looks over to Tara and sees the deep oceans of passion return.
"She's right, you know, we need to work something out and figure out what we want or expect from each other. I want to be with you, but I need to work through my issues. They don't include you most days, and I do need to be with our son more."
Tara swipes away a tear, "I agree. We needed to hear someone tell us that. I love you more than you ever know, but I can't place my life on hold."
Cory gets to his feet and offers Tara his hand. Once she's helped to her feet, they make their way back to Cory's bedroom, where they take a seat on the bed.
"Right here was the place I knew I fell in love with you. The night you came over here, I knew you were in an emotional funk, and you took it out on me. I wanted you from the instant we kissed, but I knew putting the moves on too early would send the wrong signals. I can see the day we met and the moment you walked from the Principal's Office and your hair was perfect, and I looked into your eyes and seen the same thing I see now. The deepest oceans of love and passion, and lips I wanted to touch with mine to feel us connect. You were so beautiful, and my dream woman couldn't even come close to the first time I saw you," Cory admits with some blushing on his cheeks.
Tara's heart, it melts all over again. The way Cory talks take her back to when they would talk on the phone for hours, and most of the time, he listened to her talk about her life in Little Rock. The emotions roar back like a tsunami and crash over her soul, and Tara lunges for Cory, but like before, Cory goes into defense mode, and this time Cory uses a shoulder throw, sending Tara to the floor. In an instant, Cory snaps back and throws himself on the floor.
"Oh my God! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!"
Trying not to throw Cory's defenses back up, Tara reaches out by gliding her hands up his arms to his head and bringing him down to her level, "I'm not hurt at all. And, as your mom said, let it go and learn from mistakes. So pucker up!" Tara whispers and pulls Cory's lips to hers as she refuses to let go of the kiss.
Things continue to ease the tension between them, and Cory slips his arms under Tara and scoops her up. Out of instinct, Tara wraps her legs around his waist. The kiss doesn't stop when Cory walks them over to the bed and rolls over as they feel something burning within their hearts. Slowly Cory begins to feel Tara's body as she impulsively moans until she pulls back and slips out of her shirt.
"I've missed this feeling. I've missed how your touch makes my body quiver," Tara whispers and lightly kisses Cory's ear.
"Oh my God, your body still feels perfect. I'm trying to resist, but it's like that night. It's getting too hard to say no and stop."
Tara plays with Cory's hair while lying in a white lacy bra. Cory reaches down and tosses his shirt to the floor, "If we're going to lay here and stare at each other, we can at least share the same amount of clothes."
"If that's the case, then bye-bye to this bra," Tara says and leans back and unsnaps it throwing it to the floor.
All Cory can do is stare at her half-naked body. The sexual tension escalates, but Cory maintains control, "As much as I want to, we need to stop and think about what we're doing. My mother is right; we need to stop and connect all over again. You are still so goddamn beautiful that I would be taking advantage of what we've missed while we were apart. We're not the same people, and the last thing I want is for you to feel like we jumped the gun and can't make this work."
"I hate to admit this, but you're right. I want you so fucking bad right now I can barely stand it. You are so damn hot, and I have missed how you feel in my arms. Your lips still taste as good as they did when we dated. Your muscles affect me in a way no other man has ever done, and all I want to do is touch you and make you feel so good."
Finally able to let go of the other, Cory and Tara crawl off the bed to put their shirts back on. Tara skips slipping back on her bra and staring at Cory with something on her mind.
"Would it be bad if we cuddled and fell asleep like that?"
"I wouldn't think so. When we get up in the morning, I would like us to go out to breakfast alone at Mrs. Trippet's diner and talk," Cory whispers and reaches over to kiss Tara on the forehead.
Unbeknownst to them, Olivia and Lorraine are talking on the phone.
"Hey, how are they doing?" Lorraine asks.
"I think they'll get there, but I had to sit them down and give them an old-school feeling lecture. At times it feels like I'm talking to them like I used to when they were in high school. Am I wrong to feel like that?"
Lorraine sits there thinking for a moment that she didn't consider that Cory and Tara need to be treated differently this time around, "No. I must admit that it never dawned on me to think of them as adults. I look at them, and it's like going back in time. Do you think they'll repeat any mistakes? I mean, I love being a grandmother, but they're not ready for another baby or anything serious right now."
"If anything, I got to them, but I'm not sure. I haven't heard anything from Cory's room other than a thud earlier, but I think they were horseplaying around. Reality hasn't been kind to any of us, but we'll see as things progress. Cory's been doing better this week. After a few months of therapy and patience, he'll get back to something normal, and Cory told me that he signed up to take the nursing exam on the way back from his VA appointments. He's on the fence about going back into surgery, so he wants to look into other options."
"It's good he's looking into what options he has available. Anyway, I'm going to hit the hay. CJ likes to get up early, and I'm going to take him out for breakfast. And, of course, you're always more than welcome to join us," Olivia says with an open offer.
"Breakfast with our grandson; you better believe I'll be there. Where do you plan on taking him?"
"His favorite place for pancakes, Trippet's Diner."
"Oh, that sounds terrific, thank you."
"You're welcome. We'll see you soon; good night Lorraine."
The call comes to an end, and Lorraine slips from her bedroom to see no lights coming from under Cory's bedroom door. She makes her way to bed and relaxes with background sounds that help put her to sleep.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro