Chapter 14 - Group
When Cory pulls his car into the garage, he begins to unpack. He leaves his clothes on the shelves, and when Cory enters the downstairs office, he sees Tara making the pull-out bed, "I thought I'd go ahead and make this for you. It's not the comfiest thing around, but it'll work until we figure out where we're going."
"No. I get it, and I understand that we need to be together but still apart. We've rushed a few things, not really knowing what the other has gone through the years we've been apart. I have my group session in a few days, and I'll do whatever I can to try to open up there. Also, we need to find a couples therapist for us to see if we can find a path through our issues and remember that we can trust each other again," Cory explains, standing a few feet from Tara.
"CJ's playing with his cars in his bedroom if you want to spend some time with him. I'll get dinner ready shortly. I'm glad you're here. All I ask is, don't make me regret the decision to allow you to move in so fast."
Cory says nothing and leaves Tara in the office. He makes his way to CJ's room, where they sit and play until dinner. After they eat, CJ is cleaned up for bed while Cory returns to the office, where he sees Tara going over things for work.
"What are you doing?" Cory asks, taking a seat on the pull-out bed.
"I need to work on schedules and finalize upcoming staff for off-site events. The best part of being on salary, I never truly do get a full day off."
Trying not to pay her too much attention, Cory lies on the bed with his phone out looking through car websites, but nothing grabs his attention. Finally, Tara returns to the screen where she emails Helen the schedule, "There, I'm done, so I will leave you to relax. Good night."
Left alone, Cory drifts to sleep and stays out cold all night. CJ wakes his father up in the morning with a gentle tug on his big toe, "Daddy. Mom wants you upstairs for breakfast."
"Oh, morning, big guy, tell your mom I'll be up there in a minute."
CJ runs back up the steps with the door slamming shut behind him. Unfortunately, when Cory makes his way into the kitchen, he's forgotten to place a shirt over his torso, and CJ sees the scars.
"Dad! Your boo-boos, did they hurt?" CJ calls out as Tara spins to see the look of shock on Cory's face.
"Um..." Cory stutters, not knowing what to say.
Tara remembers the waffle on the iron and picks it up. Once it sits on the plate, she steps between father and son, "Daddy did get hurt, but he's okay now."
"Oh, okay, mommy. If daddy was still hurt, I was going to make him feel better card at school," CJ says and returns to eating his waffle and bacon.
Feeling a bit nervous about forgetting to cover up his scars, Cory sits at the table, slouching, trying to hide the scars while he slowly eats his food. Tara feels horrible about CJ seeing his father torn up from his time in the Army. She finishes the last few waffles and takes her seat at the table. It's the first time she has enjoyed breakfast in a while. The sight of CJ and Cory together brings a slight smile that neither of them sees.
With CJ taken to school, Cory returns to shower and spends his day cleaning the house while Tara is at work. The music blares, and Cory finds himself dancing around the living room and kitchen with the broom and dustpan. Things feel and smell better after Cory mops the kitchen, followed by the living room. While he's cleaning, he listens to a new band on Pandora radio, a southern rock band known as Disgrace Thru Grace.
"Damn, these guys are pretty good," Cory tells himself, ringing out the mop.
After CJ gets off the bus and greets his dad at the door, he goes to the couch to listen to music while Cory continues to clean. Things fall into place before Tara arrives home and smells the delight of pasta, sauce, and breadsticks coming from the kitchen. She drops her purse and briefcase on the coffee table and then makes her way into the kitchen.
"Oh my goodness, that smells terrific!" Tara begins as she goes for a glass, "Care if I drown my long day with a bit of wine?"
Before Cory can answer, Tara gets a whiff of the cleaning supplies and looks around, "You cleaned. I can see a major difference, and it smells good too. Thank you, but you didn't have to clean the house."
"What else was I supposed to do today? Sit on the couch and eat chocolate while I watch soap operas? I don't think so! That stuff goes straight to my hips, and I don't need love handles," Cory teases, rubbing his hands along his side, "Also if you need a glass of wine, go ahead and enjoy it. I can handle things around here until I get into group sessions and find a job."
"Speaking of therapy, I found a couples counselor who will meet us here starting tomorrow evening."
Cory nods and gives Tara a thumbs up while he drains the water from the pot of noodles and takes out three plates. CJ and Tara get what they want, and Cory joins them at the table. Unwilling to admit it out loud, Tara feels the love vibing from Cory, and she tries hard to hide a smile. It's the first time she's come home with things feeling clean and organized.
Beating Cory to the dishes, she hand dries the dishes and then puts them away. Once the cabinet closes, Tara walks through the house, and Cory points out things he's cleaned and how he organized each room. She's shocked walking into the bedroom to see the linens have been changed and made with military corners. Tara loves how Cory laid out a nightgown.
"As you can see, I dusted and polished your furniture in here. The bed has all new sheets and such. Your bathroom was scrubbed top to bottom, and the soap scum in the tub is gone. I know it doesn't make up for things, but it's a start. Until I get out there working, I can keep the house straightened up," Cory says right before his phone rings, "Hello."
He stands there listening to the appointment specialist on the other end, "Hello, Mr. Dubois, there's an opening for a new group of Iraq veterans. I know your appointment is a few days away. You're welcome to come in tomorrow to join the session. But, first, I need to confirm or deny your interest."
"Yes! I will be there; what time?"
"Excellent, sir. I have the time set for nine in the morning. I will inform your doctor, and he will see you in the morning. Have a good evening, Mr. Dubois. Goodbye."
The call comes to an end, and Cory locks the screen, "Good news, I have my first PTSD support meeting tomorrow morning. So things are picking up speed at last. Tomorrow I'll stop by the job placement office to see if they can help out with a job. I mean, something is better than nothing, right?" Cory babbles, waiting to see how Tara responds.
"Oh, that is wonderful! I can't thank you enough for cleaning this place. You got CJ off the bus, and you made dinner. It's as if we swing from one extreme to the other. It's not that I'm trying not to say I'm not grateful because I am; it's -" Tara scrambles to find the words, but Cory comes over to her with his arms around her waist.
"I'm not trying to make this sexual. I get what you're saying. Now go ahead and relax in a bubble bath. I'm going to spend time with our son while I fold laundry," Cory whispers, then leaves Tara with a kiss on her cheek.
Tara enjoys her bath and turns in early, knowing Cory's mind is a good place at the moment. So while she's escaping to relax, Cory spends the evening with his son watching cartoons and reads CJ a story when it's time for bed. When Cory gets down to the office to get ready for bed, he's surprised at a text from Tara.
Thank you again for EVERYTHING! The house feels so good. Dinner was tasty, and my bubble bath feels sublime. You did wonderful today, and if things were good between, I would do ungodly things to you tonight. – Tara Rose
Cory lies down with a hand behind his head with a smile from ear to ear. Normally, the dark is woeful, but he begins to feel a wave of optimism over him while he lies there until he falls asleep.
Before the sun rises, Tara makes her way to the office to wake Cory. She turns on the light and sits near him until he stops stirring, "Huh? What? Tara?"
"Yeah, it's me. I wanted to wake you up to wish you luck with therapy today. Also, I thought about it until I fell asleep, and I wanted to give you something," Tara pauses and goes over to Cory, kissing him on the lips, "Best of luck today, and don't forget we have therapy this evening too. I love you."
Cory groans and shakes his head no, "Too much, too fast, good night," he teases, then sits up, yawning.
Tara leaves to give Cory some space. She gets CJ ready with breakfast consisting of oatmeal with toast and grape jelly. Cory gathers his clothes, followed by a shower, and trims his beard. After his teeth are brushed, Cory nearly runs to the garage to get on the road for the VA. Tara's speechless but goes ahead finishing her toast and juice. She drops CJ off at school and then heads to work, where things run smoothly.
Cory glides through traffic on the road until his exit to the VA Hospital. He finds a place to park, then races up the stairs into the building and checks in minutes before his scheduled appointment, "Name, please," the receptionist asks, chewing on her gum.
"Cory Dubois, I have an appointment with the Green Team PTSD support group."
"Okay, sir. Just have a seat, and they'll be with you shortly."
Taking a seat in a vivid orange plastic seat, Cory doesn't get a chance to attempt to get comfortable before a heavy wooden door opens, and Cory's doctor calls him back, "Sergeant Dubois, come on back and take a seat with the group in room number one."
In the room, Cory sees two empty seats. So he takes one, and a few minutes later, the doctor arrives with a clipboard and recorder in his hands. Everyone seems nervous, but the doctor sits there saying nothing as he wants someone in the group to make the first move.
"Well, if no one has nothing to say, I'll start," one female participant says out of nowhere, "I am Marrine Coster, and I served as a Marine in Iraq with a supply unit until we were attacked. I'm the only survivor, and I lost my left leg."
The group welcomes the thin, pale, and frail brown hair young woman in her mid-20s. They sit there, waiting on someone else to speak up. Finally, after several minutes of more silence, another survivor speaks up, "Morning, all of you. I'm Willard Hollister, former Captain in the Army. I was an intelligence officer in Kabul. I was there with the first unit that went into that country. My duties included trying to find Osama bin Laden. An informant came to us with a reliable tip to find that son of a bitch, but they led us into an ambush in one of the caves. As a result, I suffered a collapsed lung, a crushed clavicle, a fractured skull, and a shattered patella. I can't walk without my cane, and the headaches I suffer are nearly blinding."
Dr. Clark takes notes and welcomes each veteran after they finish introducing themselves. Cory sits there fiddling his thumbs staring at the floor as those who have spoken up gaze around the room, "Would anyone else like to introduce themselves?" Dr. Clark asks.
"I would," A female left partially bald with a nasty scar by her left eye says, "Hi everyone, my name is Casey Riley from the Marine Corps, and I was military police stationed in Tikrit. I was working the check-in point when an IED went off. I was thrown about ten yards and knocked unconscious. When I came to, I was bound and gagged in a nearby cave where I was beaten and raped repeatedly on tape that was sent to my camp. I lost my peripheral vision in my eye from a stone, and thanks to the rapes, I suffered from pelvic inflammatory disease and lost my ability to have children. After I came home, my husband couldn't look at me. Now, he's filed for divorce and moved out."
"I'm sorry for your pain. What you endured was inhumane," Cory blurts out, still staring at the floor, "I lost one of my best friends when my unit was attacked. Hi everybody, I'm Cory Dubois, and I survived the hospital attack but not without my scars. They're not as severe as all of yours, but I remember the sounds of gunshots with people in hospital beds getting shot and dying while those animals raped the nurse that saved my life and sliced her to pieces." He shares without lifting his head.
"Welcome, Casey and Cory; I'm glad you're here today. Speaking up isn't easy, but be proud for those of you who have. Why don't we take a small break to let all of you recollect yourselves, and we'll resume introductions in about ten minutes," Dr. Clark suggests motioning for his group to get up and walk around.
While the group makes their way to the table for cookies and punch, Dr. Clark sits and observes how those who introduced themselves begin to mingle while those who haven't stand apart from everyone else. When the ten minutes expire, the group goes to sit in the same seats, but Dr. Clark stops them, "Hold up, those who have introduced yourselves, please take a chair and push them back. Those who still need to participate, pull yours forward into a smaller circle."
The group does as instructed, which creates a sense of pressure on those who have been silent. Then, in the center of the smaller circle, Dr. Clark has his head on a swivel, "Let's begin with you here in front of me. Would you mind telling us who you are and where you served? If you don't want to share any more than that, you're not at liberty to share."
It takes a few seconds after Dr. Clark makes his statement that a young man in his early to mid-20s with dark brown, hazel eyes and a budding goatee clears his throat to speak up, "Hello. I'm Jay Blossom, and I moved here from Virginia. I was an Army Ranger in both Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm the only survivor from the attack on Fallujah. We were sent in to support a Marine Reserve unit setting up a medical post when almost two dozen trucks came barrelling at us with small munitions and RPGs out of nowhere. I was in a helicopter that crashed, leaving me with burns on my legs and back. I suffered broken ribs. My right forearm was put back together with rods and bolts. The doctors that saved me said I had flatlined twice. I moved here from Virginia to get away from how my smalltown would stare at my scars."
The vibrations of Jay's story rattle Cory. He remembers him coming to his unit, where they worked on Jay for hours to save his life. A cold shiver travels down Cory's spine, and he stands up, attempting to shake it off.
"Cory, is there a problem?" Dr. Clark asks.
"Yes and no. Jay, I remember you coming to my unit. I was one of the people who worked on you. I'm glad to see you home, but I am so sorry about how you needed to flee your hometown to start over. Why did you choose Minnesota?"
Jay turns his chair around to face Cory eye-to-eye, "What are the odds? But, I moved here because the VA job department offered me a job in security at the VA hospital. I wanted a clean slate, and I hope I can do that here. Thank you for saving my life; I owe you a debt that I can never repay."
"See, that's progress, a moment that was meant to be by the forces of the universe. Healing doesn't happen overnight, but this moment right here is what needs to happen. Jay, you say it's a debt that can't be paid. I say you might be wrong. You are here to thank one of the people who saved your life, and it wasn't by chance. The VA noticed similarities to all of you here today and wanted you to come together. Other than serving in the military, you all had some sort of interaction, whether you know it or not. Training bases, cities in which you served, or even patients at medical units. All of you are connected, which means you can elevate each other to help heal. It's a new program DC put in place. You're one of the first groups to try this to see if it makes better progress." Dr. Clark explains on his feet, turning to address the group.
The two former soldiers exchange a handshake. Jay takes his seat and moves it to the back row, beside Cory. Dr. Clark turns his seat to address the next group member, "Will you please introduce yourself to the group?"
"Hello. I'm Gary Schmidt from St. Paul."
"Anything else?"
The tall thin man with a shaved head shakes his head no and crosses his legs. Dr. Clark nods and turns his chair to the next few group members as they introduce themselves with nothing else to share.
"Thank you, everyone, for sharing today. It's a step forward, and next time we'll discuss tips for rebuilding trust one day at a time. So, until our next session, stay safe, and please feel free to exchange numbers for support from each other. Enjoy your day!" Dr. Clark tells them and stays behind until the last veteran exits the room.
Feeling unsure about the session, Cory replays everything in his mind. The things Jay said still send shivers through his body, but things begin to ease thinking about all the lives he helped save. The sensation subsides when Cory follows the signs to the VA Job Placement office. Inside the office, a bell rings, and an overweight lady who looks to be in her mid-40s waddles out of an office, "Can I help you?" She says in a low, scratchy voice.
"Hi. I'm Cory Dubois, and I'm here to see what options I have for job placement."
"Take a clipboard to fill out the questionnaire. Once you're done, leave it on the desk then someone will get in touch with you if something matches your qualifications. Have a good day."
Stunned by her lack of effort, Cory takes the form over to a small table filling out the information. After he's finished and places the form over the desk, Cory stands there until the lady exits her office again, smacking her lips as she looks over the form, "Okay, sir, it looks good, so someone should be in touch with you once it's placed in the system. Enjoy your day, and thank you for serving our country."
Ready to leave the office, Cory quickly makes his way out to the receptionist to schedule his next appointments. When his appointments are made, he leaves the building for the Celica and then drives to the closest Wendy's to enjoy a spicy chicken sandwich. Finally, able to focus on the rest of the day, Cory drives to Autozone before heading back to Tara's to change the oil in his car.
By the time he finishes snugging down the oil plug, Cory checks his phone to see messages from Tara.
How did it go? – Tara Rose
It was weird but good in an odd way. I know that doesn't make sense, and it's hard to explain. – Hard Core
As long as it helps which, don't forget we have couples therapy after dinner – Tara Rose
Looking forward to it and sorry for the delay in texting back. I was changing the oil in my car – Hard Core
No worries! – Tara Rose
Okay, good! I'll see you soon. I love you – Hard Core
Time flies by, and Cory and Tara hear the doorbell ring after dinner. Tara makes her way to the front door opening it to see an average height lady wearing a business suit with red hair covered in freckles and dark green eyes, "Hi Tara. Are you ready to do this?"
"I am. Please come inside so we can go down to my office."
Cory checks on CJ before he walks down the steps to the office and sees the two ladies sitting on the couch by the computer desk.
"Hello. I'm Cory, the crazy, angry guy in Tara's life," he jokes with his hand extended for a handshake.
"Good evening, I'm Zia Garson. Won't you please have a seat so we can begin?"
Cory takes his seat in Tara's leather chair at the computer desk as they begin to dive into their first couple's session. Zia sits discussing things they can work on to open better communication and not avoid being honest even if it hurts the others' feelings.
"I can feel the love between you two. There's a strong hope to make things better in time. But, for the next few days, I was hoping you could keep things the way they are now by sleeping apart. But, unfortunately, listening to your history and researching what happened six, seven years ago, the rush of guilty pleasure to bury your feelings leads to the path you're on now. It would help if you resisted the urges, however strong. You two need to build on rebuilding the rapport through patience with describing how you feel. Do those things while writing down conversations and emotions in these notebooks. Next time we'll read what you wrote out loud and build from there. Spend time with your son, but resist the temptation to be intimate. Don't even engage in kissing or hugging because you need to draw back to concentrate on your weaknesses, not your strengths with each other."
Tara sits there taking the notebook, "It'll be tough, but we'll do our best. Thank you, Zia, and we'll see you next time."
Tara and Zia exit upstairs while Cory sits there listening to Zia get into her car and leave. A few minutes later, she returns from checking on CJ, who is fast asleep. Cory is confused seeing Tara strut down the steps, "Shouldn't we get to bed?" He says.
"I don't care what she said. I want to do the things she said not to do turned me on. Take my hand and let's go to my bedroom so you can do naughty things to my body," Tara suggests with a glow in her eyes.
"No! That'll cause us to repeat the pattern we've been doing all along. I can't; we can't go have sex right now."
There's a smile on Tara's face, which sends a signal to Cory, "You tried to see if I would go along with it. So you think I'm not going to take this seriously."
"It was an idea Zia gave me. You passed with flying colors, but if you had followed me, I would've fucked your brains out tonight," Tara tells Cory, gently placing her hand on his cheek, "Good night. I love you, Cory."
"I love you too, Tara. Good night and sleep well. I'll set my alarm to get up to make breakfast. Any request?"
"CJ loves banana pancakes; as for me, I want plain buttermilk pancakes with sausage and oatmeal."
All Cory does is nod then Tara leaves him to get to bed. With a music station turned down low, Cory gets under the covers reflecting on all the events of the day until he passes out and sleeps soundly through the night with hope flowing through his mind.
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