CHAPTER 19

Sarah was alarmed when she saw the time on her clock. Her cell phone was ringing, and it wasn't even 6 A.M. Who'd be calling this early? She reached over and looked at her phone. It was Sydney. She flipped it open not sure what to expect.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lynni." He sounded calm enough.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "Sorry for calling so early. I couldn't sleep."

"Why? What's wrong?" In all the years she'd known him, she knew the only times he couldn't sleep were when he was stressing about something. She sat up and plopped a pillow behind her.

"Nothing's wrong."

Sarah knew that tone. "Sydney, you're stressing about something. You should know better than to try and hide it from me."

There was silence on the other end then a sigh. "I can't stop thinking about you and Angel," he said. "Are you sure you're going to be okay coming back here?"

Sarah frowned. It had been over two weeks since she and Angel had made love for the first time. She kept it from Sydney for a while, not wanting to betray Angel by sharing something so intimate with anyone else. But about a week ago, she hadn't been able to keep it to herself anymore.

Angel told her how much he loved her every day now. It was killing her that she couldn't say it back to him. So, she'd broken down and told Sydney, crying in the process. Ever since, Sydney had been beside himself, skeptical about her being able to come back to Arizona. But she'd been trying her best to convince him that she could and would. There was no way she'd let on that just the thought devastated her.

But she had to go back, no matter how much she wanted to stay now. She just wouldn't be able to live with herself. How could she tell him she was turning her back on him now because of a guy that she'd known for just four months? Albeit they'd been the best four months of her life, she just couldn't do it.

She'd never forget the way Sydney cried that awful day she found out she was going to have to move. She'd cried for him almost as much as she'd cried for herself."Sydney, I already told you. I can do this. Me and Angel are still going to be together, even once I move back."

"Are you sure?" He asked. "You two haven't been apart for even a day since you started going out."

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut. She knew he was right. It was going to be hard, harder than when she'd left Sydney. Still, she had to do it."I'll be okay, Syd. I made it this long over here, and remember how I didn't think I could?"

"Yeah, you've been fine—more than fine—because of him."

"Well, I'll have you when I get home to help me through this."

There was a strange silence for a few long moments. "Lynn, in all the years I've known you, I've never heard you so happy. I'd hate for you to come back and be miserable."

"Impossible," she said. "As long as I have you there for me, I'll be fine."

She couldn't help but let a yawn escape. She was so tired. The lustful stop at the restaurant had lasted much longer than they intended. She'd gotten home way after curfew. Luckily, as far as she knew, no one had noticed. Everyone was sound asleep when she snuck in.

"You should go back to sleep," Sydney said. "You sound really tired."

"I'm okay." She yawned again.

"No, you're tired. Go back to bed. We'll talk later."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," she said. "Stop worrying about it, Syd. Everything will be just like before. It'll be like I never left."

After she hung up and went to the restroom, she thought of the day ahead of her. Ever since the night she'd given herself to Angel and they'd agreed to continue the relationship even after she went back to Arizona, she'd been riddled with guilt. She had to tell Angel the truth about Sydney, and she almost had that same night. But she chickened out, not wanting to ruin the night. Sarah shook her head, remembering how she'd shamelessly used her mom to change the subject.

Ever since, she'd made one excuse after another to not tell him. But she wouldn't allow herself the pleasure of telling Angel she loved him until she came clean and told him the truth. And not being able to say it was killing her.

It was going to be tense, but if he really loved her like he said he did, he'd understand. She fell back asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow again. Being an early bird, it startled her when her phone rang again, and she realized she'd slept for almost three more hours. It was Angel this time.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe, did I wake you?"

"Mmmm." She stretched her arms out. "Yeah, but it's nice that it's your voice I'm hearing."

"Don't make that noise, Sarah," he said. "It's gonna drive me crazy all day until I can be with you."

"All day? Aren't you picking me up early?"

"No, babe. We're short staffed today. It's so bad, me and Sofie got stuck dropping off the morning catering, and then we gotta go back to the restaurant. I won't be able to pick you up 'til at least seven tonight."

"Hi, Sarah!" She heard Sofia in the back.Sarah frowned, upset with herself that she'd slept so late. She could've helped them with the catering. "You need me to help in any way?"

"Nah, Eric's gonna help out. We're picking him up right now." His voice got lower. "Besides, I kept you up late enough last night. I want you to rest up for me—for tonight."

Sarah beamed. Who needed rest? Her entire body felt great. She was ready for him now."I hope you're rested," she said, "because I'm ready now."

"Stop it," he whispered. "Shit, if I can get off earlier than seven, I'll call you, so be ready."

"Okay." She giggled."I love you, babe."

She felt her heart being held hostage, unable to say what she wanted so badly. "Okay, bye."

That's it. She absolutely was telling him everything tonight. Sarah dreaded it with every ounce of trepidation in her body, but she had to. She couldn't go even one more day without telling him how much she loved him.

Deciding that as long as she was coming clean, she'd also let Sydney in on the whole convoluted lie as well. Maybe he'd have some advice on how best to break it to Angel. She tried calling him, but it went straight to voicemail. She left a brief message only to say she needed to speak with him and was free of Angel for the day, so he could call her anytime.

The rest of the day was spent doing laundry and going over what she'd say to Angel. There was no backing down this time. She rehearsed it over and over again. Every time she looked at the clock, the knot in her stomach got bigger and heavier. She tried calling Sydney a few more times, but each time was sent to voicemail.

He'll understand. She kept telling herself. He had to. She'd make him, and once she told him how much she loved him, he'd know he had nothing to worry about.

Sarah was looking through her closet when she heard, "Hey, you," and jumped, almost losing her balance.

She turned and saw Valerie standing there with a smirk. "What's with you?"

Sarah closed her eyes and put her hand on her chest. "God, I've been so nervous all day, I'm a mess."

"About what?" Valerie walked in and sat down on Sarah's bed.

Sarah slumped her shoulders. "I'm telling Angel tonight."

"Telling him what?"

"About Syd."

Valerie eyes opened wide. "He still doesn't know?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. Valerie always had a way of making her feel worse, especially about this. "No, but he'll know tonight for sure. No buts about it. I'm telling him." She turned back around to look in her closet. "I'm just not sure where to start."

"Well expect the worse."

Sarah spun around and shot her a look. "Gee, thanks. That helps."

Valerie shrugged. "I'm just saying he's gonna be pissed, Sarah. You know he is. Shit, his brother still had the nerve to tell me he didn't like me talking to Reggie. I'm not even seeing him anymore, and he was never my boyfriend to begin with, but Angel has it bad. And he has a little more right to feel like you're his, all his. He is not gonna be happy about you going back to Sydney, your guy friend."

"I have to tell him though," Sarah said.

"Yeah, and you should," Valerie said. "Have you thought about what you're gonna say?"

"All freakin' day." Sarah plopped down on her desk chair.

"Maybe you should dress up really nice," Valerie said. "You know, do yourself up extra sexy. The distraction might make him a little softer, less mad."

"You think?" Sarah looked at her apprehensively.

"Yeah." Valerie jumped off the bed. "I have a really hot dress you could borrow. It'll be a little short on you, but you won't look slutty. I promise."

Sarah watched as Valerie ran out the room. She chewed her lip, thinking about it. It seemed so silly, but she was willing to try anything that might help.Valerie came back in holding a black dress. It was low-cut in the front and had slits on the side of both legs. It looked like it might be about an inch or two above her knees.

Sarah stared at it skeptically. "Am I gonna fit in that thing?"

"Try it on." Valerie shoved it at her and left the room.

Sarah tried it on, and it was a perfect fit but a lot tighter than what she normally wore and a heck of a lot more revealing. It really showed off her cleavage. They were supposed to be going to a party on the east side, a bit ritzier than their usual backyard parties. But she had a feeling that after seeing her in this dress, they may not make it there and instead head back to the restaurant, which was just fine with her.

She turned around to get a view from behind in the mirror when Valerie walked back in. Sarah turned to see her holding her hand over her mouth. "What?"

"Oh, my God, I'm a genius." Valerie laughed. "I doubt he'll even hear a word you say. Why didn't I think of this sooner?"

Sarah glanced back in the mirror. The dress was so unlike her. Angel was going to know something was up the second he saw her. "Is your dad even gonna let me out in this?"

"Ooh, good question," she said circling Sarah, still sizing her up. "What time is he picking you up?"

"Around seven."

"Oh, you're good." Valerie still had that evil grin on her face. "They're going to the show and dinner. But they're cheap, so they like catching the earlier show around five."

Sarah turned back to the mirror. That ugly feeling in her stomach was back, but dress or no dress, she was telling him tonight—no matter what.

She started getting ready just after five. Valerie helped her with her hair. Sarah's hair was fairly straight, but Valerie said straightening it even more would make it look extra sleek and super sexy.

Sarah watched Valerie through the bathroom mirror as she concentrated on the flat iron she held in Sarah's hair. "So how was it last night with Alex? You two looked real chummy."

Valerie glanced up at the mirror and shrugged. She continued concentrating on Sarah's hair. "I think he turned his phone off or put it on vibrate 'cause it didn't go off once last night. I tried to resist him as long as I could, but it's so damn hard. I didn't sleep with him though. I told him I'm not doing that anymore. So he asked if it was because of Reggie. I told him, 'No, it's because it hurts too much.' Then he made a stupid joke apologizing for his size."

Valerie's expression was disgusted, but Sarah couldn't help laughing. Alex was too funny.

"Stop," Valerie said. "You're gonna make me burn you."Sarah controlled her laughter as best she could, and Valerie continued to tell her about the rest of her evening with Alex. Sarah couldn't help busting up several more times.

The way she saw it, Valerie was partly to blame for Alex thinking the way he did. She had given herself to him way too easily and with no strings attached. But Alex had no right to demand she stop going out with or even talking to other guys. He was, as Valerie put it, pretty ridiculous.

Valerie said he agreed to going out but no sex, and they were already going out again tonight. Sarah had to laugh at that too. If it was true that Alex was just like Angel only intensified times three the way everyone made it seem, Valerie was dreaming if she thought she'd keep that guy off her. Not that she thought Alex would ever force himself on her. But she was sure he'd find a way to manipulate the situation. If it were anyone else, maybe Valerie could find the willpower to stand firm. But with him, Sarah highly doubted it.

Valerie left to get ready herself, leaving Sarah to finish getting ready on her own. When she was just about done, she heard the doorbell ring. She glanced at the clock. It was only six-thirty. He said he'd call if he would be early. She continued working on her makeup, and then she heard Valerie.

"Sarah, it's for you."

Maybe he got off early and wanted to surprise her. Sarah was glad she was ready. She put all her things back in her makeup bag and stuffed it in her purse. She sprayed herself with a little perfume and grabbed her purse. She inhaled very deeply then took one last look at herself in the mirror. He was going to flip when he saw her.

As she rushed out, she glanced out the window and caught a glimpse of that unmistakable 1964 canary yellow Chevy Impala parked directly in front of the house. It couldn't be.

She turned the corner into the front room and went numb. There he was, all six feet of him, standing there looking at her from head to toe. For a second, she was unable to speak.

"Sydney!" She jumped into his arms.

He hugged her tight. The smell of his cologne brought back all the wonderful memories. When they pulled apart, she stared at him still in shock. "Oh my God, what are you doing here?"

"We gotta talk, Lynn."

~*~

Angel had taken off early, feeling a little guilty about leaving when the restaurant was still busy. But he hadn't seen Sarah all day, and he was getting antsy about it.He'd gone home to change and was just pulling out of his driveway, when his cell phone rang. Glancing at the phone screen, he smiled, thinking she must've read his mind because he was about to call her.

"Hey, babe."

"Angel?" She sounded odd, and immediately it made him uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said. "Well, something's come up. The neighbors up the street. The uh ... Gleason's, they had an emergency and they need me to come over immediately to babysit. They're desperate, Angel. I couldn't say no."

Feeling disappointment, but at the same time warmed by her sincere concern, Angel sighed. "Is it for the whole night?"

"I'm not sure," she said. "But I'll call you as soon as I know something."

"All right." He turned the opposite direction back toward the restaurant. "I love you."

There was a long silence, then he heard her again. "Okay, bye, Angel."

He'd been back at the restaurant for a little over an hour when his phone rang. He answered it immediately without even checking who it was, thinking it'd be Sarah.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Angel."

He was quiet for a second. "Dana?"The only times she'd called him since the day he told her off were a few times to leave drunken messages, but he hadn't actually talked with her since. Now he regretted answering.

"Yeah, it's me."

"What do you want?" It wasn't his thing to be rude, but he wasn't about to get in hot water with Sarah. The last thing he wanted to do was encourage Dana.

"I'm not calling to rub it in or make you feel worse if that's what you're thinking. I'm just calling to tell you I'm here for you."

Angel rolled his eyes impatiently. He had no clue what she was talking about and, really, no interest. "Dana, I don't need you here for me, okay? I'm working right now. I gotta go."

"Angel, I know I pissed you off, but before anything ever happened between us, we were friends. I don't know what happened with you and Sarah, but I know you were really into her, so if you need someone to talk to now, remember I'm still your friend."

Her words were all over the place, and still Angel couldn't make anything of them. He decided to just humor her. "All right, thanks. I gotta go."

No sooner had he hung up with her when the phone rang again. He glanced at the caller ID a little annoyed, thinking it would be her again. It wasn't. It was Eric.

"Hey, dude. Where are you guys?" Eric asked.

"I'm working."

"Working?"

Angel heard Romero in the background. "Ask him. Ask him!"

Angel smiled. "Ask me what?"

"Is Sarah with you?"

"No, she had to work. The restaurant was busy, so I just came back."

"Oh, so Sarah's not with you?"

Then Angel heard Romero again, "I fucking told you! Didn't I tell you? That was her. I know it was."

"What's he saying?" Angel asked.

Eric told Romero to shut up. "Nothing, man, this guy's just tripping. He thinks he saw Sarah a little while ago."

Angel was undaunted. "Nah, she's babysitting." He stood there smiling, listening to their conversation. He couldn't tell if Romero had been drinking or was just being his usual obnoxious self.

Eric and Romero went back and forth for a few minutes, then Angel heard a struggle, the phone got muffled, and the horn honked. He chuckled. Idiots.

"All right, man," Eric said to Angel.Angel laughed. "Is he that wasted already?"

"No," Eric said. "He hasn't even been drinking, but you wouldn't know it by the way he's acting."

Angel's other line beeped."Don't answer your other line. It's just dumb ass," Eric said.

"Answer it!" Romero yelled in the background.

"Hold on." Angel chuckled, clicking over to his other line. "Wadda ya want, ass?"

He stood at the hostess stand at the entrance of the restaurant, looking back in to see how many customers were left. It was early, but most of the guys in the kitchen were on overtime now, and his dad had told him if it slowed down enough to close early and let them go home.

"It was her, man," Romero said as Angel walked back casually, sneaking a peek in the second dining room.

It was empty. He knew Romero couldn't be right, but he went along anyway. "Yeah, where?"

"In a car—a fucking yellow Chevy Impala, one of those old ones, all cherried out—with a dude."

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