I've never felt more content or at peace than when I found myself in moments like this—with Lanie straddling my waist while I was still buried deep inside her. Her breathing was still heavy as she laid against my chest.

"Well," she sighed in a satisfied tone, "is it just me or is knitting getting better and better the more we do it?"

I felt the corners of my mouth lift in an amused smile and I chuckled. "Definitely getting better, baby. Every single time with you feels like the first time. And it nearly makes my heart stop just like it did then."

Since our son was awake during most of the day, we started having these late night bubble baths more and more. Of course, we would have quickies or other intimate moments when the mood struck us and there was opportunity, but when it was after midnight and the house was silent, we could take our time loving each other.

Sitting up, Lanie's traced the scar on my shoulder where I was shot. And even though she averted her eyes quickly, I didn't miss the sorrow that filled them. "Your heart is never allowed to stop, Ayden. Not ever."

Reaching up, I tucked my fingers under her chin until she met my gaze. "Goddess, I'm home and safe. Nothing is going to happen to me. You won't lose me."

She held out her pinky. "Promise."

My heart squeezed in my chest. Even though the whole ordeal when Nate and I got stranded and almost died in Afghanistan was over two years ago, I knew it still affected her. It affected all of us.

Hooking my pinky around hers I murmured, "I promise."

Lanie leaned down to give me a slow, passionate kiss. It didn't take long before I got lost to the feel of her, to the taste of her. I instantly got hard again. Lanie started riding me, taking me deep inside her at her own pace. And this time when we came, it was together at the same time.

"I love you, goddess," I breathed against her lips.

"I love you, too."

The sudden sound of my cell phone going off, not once but twice, with text notifications had me frowning. We both glanced at my phone which was sitting on the bathroom sink before our eyes met.

"Who would be texting at this hour?" She asked me. When I didn't answer her and looked back to my phone and her tone filled with concern. "Ayden?"

"Let me up, baby."

She immediately got off me so I could get up and out of the tub. "Ayden, tell me what's going on."

Without even bothering to grab a towel, I reached for my phone. "That's Jackson's tone. I set his to a specific one just in case...you know. I wanted to know it was him in case something was..." My words died as I read the two messages he sent me. And it only added to Lanie's panic. 

"You're scaring me. Is everything okay?" 

Frowning, I looked at her. "He said he's downstairs at the door and needs to talk to me." I quickly dried off before walking over to the tub where my fiancée was still submerged in the warm bubble bath. "Stay here, baby. I'll go see what he needs." 

Her expression told me she didn't like being ordered around, especially when there may be something wrong with her best friend. "Ayden, promise me that you'll tell me if it's something I should know."

"I promise," I vowed, giving her a quick kiss before returning to our bedroom to throw on a shirt and some pants. My heart was hammering in my chest while my brain was running a mile a minute with possible things this late-night visit could be about. I told Jackson he could call me anytime about anything. And I meant it. But I hadn't actually expected it to happen. I sure as hell hoped there would never be an emergency in regards to Harper trying to get pregnant. 

When I opened the door and saw my best friend, my jaw dropped. "Jackson? What happened? You look like hell. Is Harper okay?"

Jackson's black hair was disheveled. His eyes red and watery. For a second I didn't know if he even heard me. Then he nodded and said in a scratchy voice, "She's fine. She's sleeping at home." He cleared his throat a few times before asking, "Can we talk? I know it's late and Jack is asleep."

"Of course we can. Come on, let's go out back." 

Without either of us saying a word, we made our way quietly through the house until we got to the screened in back porch. Once I shut the door to the house to give us privacy, I sat down in the lounge chair. Jackson didn't. He paced back and forth in front of me, constantly running his fingers through his hair before pulling at it. I didn't say anything while I sat there. Getting Jackson to open up to anyone was like trying to push a tank up a hill by yourself. Impossible. So if he needed a few minutes, or even a few hours to open up to me and tell me what was going on, then I was was prepared to sit here for the whole night.

Thankfully a good twenty minutes seemed to do the trick. Jackson stopped pacing in front of me, and if it were possible, he looked even more stricken when he turned to face me.

"Something is going to happen to her," he rasped like he was taking over a throat full of glass. "Harper... Something's..."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He ran a hand over his face. "I can't sleep, Ayden. I can't fucking sleep. I keep having this nightmare about her having the baby and I just...What if something happens to her and I—christ. I can't do this. We have to do something to make sure that—"

Rising to my feet, I placed my hands on his shoulders and cut him off. "Jackson, slow down. What nightmare? What do you think is going to happen to her?"

Jackson stared at me. Those red-rimmed blue eyes of his showing nothing but panic and fear. Bone-chilling fear that radiated off his entire body and almost had me taking a step back.

"We're in the delivery room," he started to explain. "She's having the baby and everything is going fine until..."

"Until what?"

When he spoke again, his voice was barely a whisper as the words tumbled out. "Everything is going fine. I'm holding her hand and she's yelling at me while trying to have our baby. Then the baby comes out. God, the baby was so small. I can't...I don't know if it was a boy or a girl, though. But then...oh, God, the blood was everywhere, Ayden. The doctor tried to make it stop. The baby was screaming. I begged and begged her not to leave me. Then she died." The tears Jackson was trying so hard to hold back finally broke free. "She fucking died on me, Ayden. Fuck. If we have a baby, she's going to die. I fucking know it. I can't live without her."

I gripped his shoulders and gave him a little shake. "Hey. Jackson. Listen to me. You have no idea what's going to happen. Just because that nightmare is playing on repeat doesn't mean it's going to come true."

Anger colored his face and he shoved me away. "How the fuck would you know!"

My voice was rock steady. "Because I went through the same shit after I got back from Afghanistan," I told him. "I had nightmares, Jackson. Non-stop."

"But this is different."

"No, it isn't." I exhaled a heavy sigh before I managed to get the word out. "Yeah, the nightmares would always start with me being in Afghanistan, shot and stranded. But then I would wake up and be in bed next to my pregnant fiance. But I wasn't really awake. It was like a nightmare within a nightmare. I would reach down to feel her belly and her whole body would be ice cold. Then I would throw the blanket back and there would be blood staining our sheets. Her and the baby were both dead. I had that same dream over and over again for months."

Jackson stared at me like I grew three heads that he was trying very hard not to cut off in anger. "Is that supposed to bloody make me feel better?"

"No. It's supposed to show you that just because that nightmare keeps replaying itself doesn't mean it's going to come true. Lanie and Little Nate are inside that house right now, safe and sound."

Jackson shook his head sharply. "They still almost died. From that accident. It could have happened."

Just hearing the reminder about what could have been sent ice cold fear through my veins. But Jackson was walking on the tight rope of sanity right now and I needed to keep him level. "You're right,' I stated. "But they didn't. They are alive and safe."

When Jackson took a few deep breaths, I thought my message was getting through to him and he was starting to settle down. That wasn't the case.

"No," he bit out in a harsh tone. "I won't let it happen."

Something about his words made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I hoped he didn't mean he was going to tell Harper he no longer wanted a child. That would not go over well for the two of them.

"Jackson—"

"No! I'm going to make sure of it."

I shook my head slowly. "How are you going to do that?"

Fierce determination stared back at me. "I'm going to make sure everything in that damn nightmare doesn't happen in real life. In the nightmare, it's our OB that delivers our baby. To hell with that. It's you, Ayden. You have to be the one to deliver our baby. It's the only way Harper will survive."

Even though we were outside in the backyard, it felt like all the air around me got sucked out. My ears started ringing and my heart was racing. Suddenly I felt like I was in a nightmare of my own.

I tried to respond to Jackson, but for the first time in a very long time, words seemed to fail me.

***

Hope you guys enjoyed this. Thank you again for your patience and support while I'm getting better. Part 2 of this chapter will hopefully be up on Saturday.

🖤