Whoever complained that having sex with the same person over and over again for years and years caused it to get stale seriously needed to get their brain checked. Or maybe a lobotomy. Possibly both. 

As I laid naked next to Nathan on the bed, I couldn't keep my mind from replaying the hundreds—possibly thousands—of times we've made love. And it seemed to only get better and better. Every time felt like the first time with him. And if it was possible, I continued to fall more in love with him every day. 

"I'm soooooo glad you called out of work today, gorgeous. Best. Decision. Ever." 

The satisfied smile that stretched across my face matched the blissed-out euphoria I was currently experiencing. "I have to say I agree." 

"Like...seriously, baby." Nathan rolled over so he was on his side and rested his head in his hand to look down at me. "Maybe you should call out tomorrow, too. And the next day," he breathed against my lips. "And the next..."

The hungry kiss he gave me had me moaning into his mouth. The way he deepened it and sucked on my tongue had my desire heating up once again. And that thick, hard erection I felt pressing against my hip told me I wasn't the only one who was ready for another round.

When he broke the kiss and his eyes met mine, my brain took a detour from Orgasm Lane and started heading towards Baby Fever Parkway. Ever since my closest friends started having kids, or trying to have kids, I couldn't help but wonder if that would be me and Nathan one day. Even though we were kept apart for twelve years, we knew each other most of our lives. I knew him. Commitment was something none of us thought Nathan was capable of before he started dating me. And I never worried once that he cheated on me. I knew without a doubt that he was as loyal to me as I was to him. 

But how much could a person really change? Kids was not something Nathan Jenkins has ever mentioned wanting. Not to me at least. The only time he even broached the subject was when he came with me to Florida when my dad was in the hospital. He'd told me that he used to dream of what our lives would have been like if we'd never been apart. Kids included. 

Did that mean he wanted them? Or was it just an old dream of a different life? 

"What wrong, Karma?" 

Looking over at him, I brushed my lips against his. "Nothing, baby. I'm perfectly content. More than." 

Just as I turned my head back to stare at the ceiling, he reached over to cup my face and guided my eyes back to meet his. "You could never lie to me, gorgeous. Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything." 

Could I? We were in such a good place right now and after all we'd been through, I didn't want to give him a reason to panic and bolt. It was hard enough being without him for over a decade. Losing him again was something I knew I wouldn't survive. 

The words were on the tip of my tongue, but what came out was... "What if I can't, Nathan?" 

"Can't what?" 

"Tell you everything." When he frowned at me, I added, "I'm scared to bring it up. I don't want to freak you out." 

I felt his body tense beside me. It was as if he hopped on my thought train then quickly realized that it was going in the complete opposite direction that he wanted. Panicked reaction aside, he said in a rough voice, "I'm going nowhere, baby. Fucking nowhere." His dark brows came crashing down over his brown eyes and he added, "I mean it. You can tell me anything, and I'll still be here tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. Nothing is going to break us up ever again, Karma." 

He meant every word he said. I knew it with absolute certainty. But still...

"Tell me," he pleaded. "Please, baby. You're scaring me." 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I cleared my throat a few times before asking him softly, "How do you feel about kids?" 

His frown deepened. "Kids? You mean like..."

"Yeah," I finished for him. "Kids. Our kids. I mean...do you want them? Someday?"

His eyes stayed locked with mine for what felt like hours and hours. His expression was unreadable, but I knew there was a war going on inside his head. God, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I knew this would happen. He was completely freaked out and it was my fault. We had been so incredibly good lately, and I had to ruin it by—

Nathan's voice was calm and resolute. "Can I tell you something, baby?" Unable to speak, I just nodded. "When Harper and Jackson had their engagement party, Jackson made a joke about me joining their Married Guys Club. I brushed it off and told him I wasn't the marrying kind. Do you know why I said that?" 

My brain felt like it'd been in a blender and set on frappe. "Commitment?" I asked him. 

With a half smirk, he replied, "Karma, I never had a problem committing to you. You know that." Reaching out, he tucked my hair behind my ear. "Being faithful to you was the easiest thing in the world for me to do, baby. Even when we were apart, I didn't want anyone else. Yeah, there were the four women I told you about, but those happened when loneliness got the better of me." 

"Then what was the reason you said you weren't the marrying kind?" My heart squeezed in my chest while I waited for him to answer. It wasn't because I feared losing him, even if he and I would only be what we were now, I wasn't going anywhere, either. He was it for me. 

Nathan took a deep breath before he spoke again. It was as if he needed a few extra seconds to collect his thoughts. "I told you once, a long time ago, that I didn't want to be in love because I didn't want to risk being hurt and feeling all that pain. That's why I'm terrified of getting married. It's not about commitment. God," he rasped, "I would marry you in a fucking heartbeat, baby. I want you to be my wife more than anything." 

I remembered that day he was talking about clearly. That's when we were in Florida for those two weeks in the summer before our senior year and he gave me a ride to USF. "Then why do you—"

"I took a risk when I let myself fall in love with you, Karma. And what happened? I lost you for twelve years and it nearly killed me. If we get married...Fuck. I'm scared of the other shoe dropping again."

My heart twisted in my chest. "Nathan, I—"

He didn't give me a chance to finish. "And if we have kids?" His eyes squeezed shut—and when they opened, tears started to fall. And it shattered my heart to pieces. "After what happened with Violet, I'm terrified that if we have kids then..."

I grabbed his face with my hands and wiped his tears away. "Shh. It's okay, Nathan. You got me. I'm not going anywhere. And things can stay the way they are. Nothing has to change." 

"That's just it, Karma. You aren't the only one who thinks about this stuff. You aren't the only one who wants these things." 

My own tear-filled eyes widened. "You mean, you want..."

He crushed his mouth against mine and gave me a kiss that made my head spin. "Yes," he breathed when he pulled apart. "Yes, baby. I want it all. I want to marry you one day and have kids with you. I'm just so scared that something will happen and I'm going to lose you again." 

"You'll never lose me," I vowed. "Never. And even though it makes me so happy to hear you say that, nothing has to happen right now. I know I brought it up, but I'm not ready like...right now to have a baby. I still want more time for the two of us. It's just something that's been on my mind, ya know. And I didn't know where you were at." 

Nathan brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. "Yeah, I know what you mean, baby. And as much as it scares the fuck out of me, I'm all in with you. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready." 

Tears streamed down my face at the sincerity in his tone. "You mean that?" 

Wiping the wet streaks away, he gave me a soft and tender kiss. "Your wish. My command, gorgeous. Always." 

Love and nostalgia coursed through my body at his words. And when he gave me another earth shattering kiss, my whole body heated up like an inferno. When I broke the kiss, my voice came out low and throaty.

"You know, baby, just because we aren't ready right now..." I reached down between us and wrapped my hand around his hard and thick erection. When he groaned against my lips, I couldn't help but smile. "It doesn't mean we can't keep practicing."

Rolling us over so he was hovering over my body, Nathan lifted my right leg and thrusted deep inside me. A wicked smile formed on his face as he started withdrawaling and re-entering my body with slow, leisurely strokes. The silver chain I gave him brushed against my breasts when he leaned down to kiss me before murmuring against my lips, "I hope you know I'm holding you to that, gorgeous. I'm not letting you leave this goddamn bed all day."

Sounded good to me.

***

Hey guys. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I want to say thanks again for all your patience. I've just been under a lot of stress lately. Even though it's been hard to post regularly, there will at least be one chapter from Forever Mine and Heartstrings posted per week. If I'm able to post more than that then of course I will.

Thanks again 🖤