Aarya : Mujhe dress nhi chahiye....Mujhe toys bhi nhi chahiye.... she said looking deeply in avni's eyes.....

Avni : Toh kya chahiye....?

And that poor little girl let out her wish in front of her mother.....

Aarya : Papa... she replied innocently making avni silent....

Avni's face expressions changed and her body went numb at Aarya's wish..

As this was the moment....Avni always feared off.

Aarya : Mujhe papa chahiye mumma....where is my dad...?
vo humare sath kyu nhi rehte...? Bolo na mumma..... she asked longing to meet her father.

Avni didnt know how to answer her question.... She was speechless. She tried to look here and there to avoid eye contact with aarya.

She said diverting her mind...

Avni : Aarya....i..i was thinking ki hum...hum aaj aapka favourite dinner bnate hai...pasta with lost of cheese..? What do you say...? she asked smilingly in an attempt to bring a smile on her face.

Aarya : No mumma....aap pehle btao where is my dad...? Vo kaha hai....?

Avni ignored her questions and start driving the car. Arya kept on asking her but she tried to ignore her throughout the car ride.

They moment they reached home.....Arya opened the door and went straight to her room and didnt said anything. She was upset with Avni.

Avni : Arya....arya ruko....arya wait..... avni tried to stop her...but she will not listen now...

Avni entered the house with arya's school bag....and stood there helplessly. Her heart was paining as she cant to see her daughter like this.

Avni kept her school bag aside and went to her room. She closed the door behind her and her eyes start getting wet. Unable to hold her tears back....she start crying....

Avni talked to herself while crying
I am sorry aarya...i am sorry mera bacha....mumma aapke papa ko vapis nhi laa skti.....Nhi laa skti aapke papa ko vapis
Aapke papa ko to yw bhi nhi pta...ki...ki unki ek..ek beti bhi hai....Vo anjaan hai iss baat se ki..ki unki ek duniya...yha bhi hai....!

she cried and cried....felt helpless. The pain she felt years ago...she felt that pain again. The pain of being alone...the pain of being left.

She tried hard to move on....but she cant move on. She cant move on because she has arya in her life....
Neil left her.....but he also left his symbol of love behind him.....and because of which....Avni can never move on in her life.

In Night

Whole evening went in silence. Arya didnt came out of her room. Avni also kept crying and weeping, sitting ideal in her room.

When she saw its night, and Arya hasnt ate anything. She immediately wiped her face. She washed her face and went down to make dinner for her.

She made her favourite pasta with extra cheese. Arya will loves it...she thought smilingly

Taking the tray of food with her....she entered arya's room.

It was a beautiful pink coloured room, decorated with butterflies, fairies, and toys and books all around.

Arya was siting on her bed, holding her favourite teddy bear in her hands. She was upset.

Avni smiled and went close to her and kept the tray of food in front of her.

Arya looked at it...she smiled a bit looking at pasta....but then she turned her face away.

Avni noticed her being upset.

Avni : Arya....see i made you pasta...and it looks yummy.... chlo jaldi se khalo vrna....vrna mumma khalegi sara pasta.....or arya ke liye kuch bhi nhi bchega.... she said and tried to rejoice her...

But arya smirked...she didnt reacted to her.

Avni sighed. But she knew how to pacify her now....and to divert her mind

Avni : Acha Arya....aapko pta hai Ali chachu ka phone aya tha....vo keh rhe the ki unhone aapke birthday ke liye ek special gift liya hai.....

Arya's eyes widened at this. She get excited listening the thought of a gift...

Avni continued.....

Avni : Unhone mna kiya tha...but fir nhi main aapko bta deti hu....He bought a Gu....before she could complete Arya bursted with excitement and said...

Arya : GUITARRR......? she said in excitement...

Avni smield with happiness and nodded...

Arya's happiness was on another level listening the name of guitar.

Arya (excitement) : Wow Mumma....Ali chachu ne mere liye guitar liya hai....? Yeahhh....i am so happy.....My own guitar.....yeahhh... she bursted with happiness....and forgot everything which was running in her mind.

After all she is a child only, and its easy to pacify her and divert her mind. So that she didnt have a think of her father again, that makes her mind disturbed.

Avni was relieved seeing her smiling face again....

Avni : Shhhhhh.....but Arya aap btana mat ki maine unka surprise aapko bta diya...vrna vo mujhe bohot gyssa krenge...

Arya laughed....

Arya : Okay mumma....main kisi ko nhu btaungi......
But Mumma hum Ali chachu ke ghr kab jayenge....? mujhe unke pas jana hai....bohot din ho gye na.....please na mumma.... she asked

Avni smiled and cupped her face

Avni : Jaldi hi jayenge bacha...but abhi ye pasta thanda ho rha hai....Dekho...sara cheese melt ho gya....chlo jaldi jaldi kha lo.....

she said and Arya joyfully start having her pasta.

Avni : Arew aaram se.....dheere....
she said while arya was eating fast.

Avni felt so relaxed and happy. Arya's happiness meant the world to her.

After dinner, she made her sleep while siting next to her. Arya slept peacefully holding Avni's hand.

Avni kept caressing her hairs. She smiled and kissed her forehead. After which she also slept next to her only.

At midnight

Avni woke up from sleep, as she was feeling thirsty. She saw arya sleeping peacefully and she smiled.

She saw that water bottle was empty, therefore she went to the kitchen and had water.

When she came back in room, she saw arya and heard her speaking in sleep.
She got worried. She immediately sat next to her and held her hand, and start carressing her hairs.

Arya was murmering in sleep...
"p.pa...pa...papa.....ppapa....papa..."

Avni got worried...
"Aryaa....bachaa....." she caressed her forehead...

the moment she touched her forehead.....she went numb. Arya's forehead was burning in fever.

Avni immediately switched on the light...and looked at arya....while arya kept on murmering in sleep...
"p...pp..papa....ppapa...."

Avni got worried....and panicked.

Avni : Aryaa.....Aryaa..... she shaked her up softly and tried to wake her up....

Avni held her up and made her sit in her lap......she hugged her tight...and felt her body warm and hot. Arya was burning in fever.....and she was gettung up....

Avni (worried) : Arya utho beta....muma ki awaz suno...u....uthho beta....aryaa.....avni start panicking as she was not responding

She didnt know what to do.....She...she called a number.
After that she immeditaly picked her up, gathered her in her arms and wentout. She start the car and take her to the nearby hospital.

Arya was admitted and doctor was checking on her. While Avni had tears im her eyes.

In the meanwhile, Ali amd Riya arrived....as she called them.

Ali : Avni....?

Avni turned around....and seeing them coming she just hugged him.

Avni : Ali...v....vo Arya... she start crying....

Ali hugged her and consoled her...

Ali : Dont worry.....kuch nhi hoga arya ko.....shhhh...relax... he consoled her knowing that she worry too much about arya whenever arya gets sick of fall ill.

Riya : Avni...hum hain yha par...Ali hain.....kuch nhi hoga aarya ko... You relax..... Riya consoled her.

Avni broke the hug and wiped her tears....

Ali : Riya tum avni ke sath rho...main doctor se milke aata hu... he said and riya nodded.

Ali went inside to the doctor's cabin while Arya was being examined by doctor.

After examination doctor came...

Ali : Doctor how is she...vo thik hai...?

Doctor : Fever kaafi jyada hai...maine medicine de di hai...but recover hone me time lgega...

Ali : O...or koi problem to nhi hai na doctor....? he asked out of concern

Doctor : Nhi...vese to koi problem nhi hai.... but i observed ki vo baar baar apne papa ka naam le rhi hai......I think vo apne papa ko miss kr rhi hai..Kaha hai uske papa..? Kahi bahar gye hai...?

Ali went numb...he didnt know what to say...and how to react.....

Ali : Huh....h...haan.....v...vo actually apne papa se bohot pyaar krti hai na...or usme papa kuch dino ke liye bahar gye hue hai...to isliye unhe miss kr rhi hogi..... he lied as he had no other option left.

Doctor : Oh okay....Anyways koi problem nhi hai. Aap use ghar le jaa skte hai. Maine medinice likh di hai...and make sure she eats healthy for few days...

Ali : Thank you doctor.... he said

He carefully picked up sleeping Arya in his hands and went outside the cabin.

Avni saw him coming with arya and got up immediately....

Avni : Aryaa.....meri bachiii....she said and carresed her back having tears in her eyes.

Riya : Ali....Aarya kaisi hai...? Kya kaha doctor ne....?

Ali : Arya bilkul thik hai....bas thoda sa fever hai...but dont worry medicine de di hai doctor ne.
Baaki baate ghar chlke krte hai... he said...

Ali drove the car while avni held arya in her arms...hugging her close to her chest.

Riya noticed Ali being worried with something....she asked him to which he didnt said anything.

They reached avni's house....Avni made Arya lie on her bed....and they all sat around her.

Avni sat close to Arya..held her hands and kissed them. She could not take her eyes off her...kept on looking at her fragile body.

Ali noticed tears in her eyes....

Ali : Avni....tum hmesha itni pareshan ho jaati ho.....Vo bachi hai....fever ho gya bas.....thik ho jayegi....

Avni : No Ali.....main uski vajah se pareshan nhi hu.....
Tum....tumhe pta hai aaj arya ne...mujhse n...neil ke baare me pucha.....ap...apne papa ke baare me..... she said

Ali and riya gets surprised....They looked at each other....

Avni could not hold her tears. she expressed her feelings in front of them...

Avni : Tumhi btao ab main kya kru.....K...kaise btau isse iske papa ke baare me....
Or ab mujhe or dar lgne lga hai ali.....ki...ki kahi ye baat uske mann me na reh jaye....us...use kuch ho na jaaye..... she said holding her tears...

Ali and riya consoled her...

Riya : Nhi avni.....tum aisa mat socho....Tum toh janti ho na aarya ko.....vo koi baat jyada din tak yaad nhi rkhti....dekhna ye bhi bhul jayegi.
And i know....Arya is very smart girl.....she understands everythung. Vo samjh jayegi Avni...

Ali who was thinking of doctor's words.....and then he looked at little Arya sleeping...

Ali : Nhi Riya....aakhir hum kab tak arya se sach chupayenge...

He said to which Avni looked at him..

Ali told her everything about doctors words. He told her that....Arya was calling for her father, in sleep.
.....Maybe she got fever also because of excessive thinking.

Ali : Ha avni......doctor ne mujhe btaya ki....ki arya neend me bhi papa papa bol rhi thi....apne papa ko yaad kr rhi thi..... he sai to which avni went shocked...

Ali : Avni....i....i think....i think tumhe....tumhe ek baar....ek baar n..neil.....

he want to say this...but dint know how to say this to Avni.....he finally said this....

Ali : Avni i think tumhe ek baar neil se baat krni chahiye....

Avni's shockingly looked at him. Her body went numb at the mention of neil's name.

Avni : WHAT...?
No..no Ali....not again. Tum....tum toh jante ho na....maine...maine use kitne call kiye the...kitje messages kiye the.
Or...or voice mail bhi bheja tha na use.....Lekin usne...usne kya kiya....? Ek baar bhi palat ke call back nhi kiya....

M...main to btana chahti thi na use....use kaha bhi ki important baat hai....lekin usne..usne tabh bhi mujhe call nhi kiya.... she bursted in anger full of emotions and pain in her words.

Ali felt pain in her voice. He knew she is broken. He knew that he had touched her sensitive nerve.

Riya : Avni....avni calm down...shant ho jao.... she sat next to her and consoled her

Avni (crying) : Kaise shant ho jau main riya.....yha meri beti iss halat me hai....or use.....use ek call krne ki bhi himmat nhi hai...

Riya noticed arya.....she said.....

Riya : Relax....Avni...Ali...I think hume bahar chlna chajiye....Arya so rhi hai...vo disturb ho jayegi.

Avni realised and she looked at arya....She caressed her and kissed her forehead full of pain.

Riya : Tum dono jao bahar....main rukti hu arya ke paas... she said to which they nodded.

....................

They went to other room to talk.....

Ali : Avni....avni main samajhta hu. Main janta hu neil ne jo kiya galat kiya.....Arew usne toh dobara mudke bhi nhi dekha....he said disgusting about neil...
he held avni's shoulders and said to her......

Ali : Lekin tum toh samajhdar ho na Avni.....tum dekh sakti ho na...ki arya ab badi ho rhi hai....uske mann me kitne sawaal honge....Kya tum de paogi unke jawaab....bolo....

Avni had tears in her eyes. she removed his hands and said...

Avni : Toh tum kya chahte ho...ki main dobara use call kru....? Uss...uss insan ko jisse meri thodi si bhi fikar nhi hai.....

Ali : Avni use btana zaruri hai....KI USKI EK BETI HAI.....Use bhi apni zimmedariya samjni hogi.....Aakhir kab tak bhagega voh......Vo nhi bhaag skta apni zimmedariyo se..... he said in anger

Avni wiped her tears and said

Avni : Nhi Ali.... tumhe pta hai....maine usse...uss voice mail me kaha tha ki....ki agar usne call nhi kiya....Toh main fir kabhi use call nhi krungi....Kabhi use dobara disturb nhi krungi....

Usse apne sapno se bohot pyaar hai na....toh...toh jeelene do use uske sapne....

Vo khush hai na mere....mere bina.....(a tear fell from her eyes)
Toh main bhi kabhi uske raste me nhi aungi.....kabhi nhi....

Mujhe...or meri beti ko....uski zarurat nhi hai...koi zarurat nhi hai uski.....

Ali : Par Avni......Arya....?

Avni : Arya meri beti hai Ali....sirf meri.....Main usse maa..or papa..dono ka pyaar dungi....Use duniya ki saari khushiya dungi.

She said with determation in her words. She don't need that self centered man to come back in her life. She just want to keep her daughter happy. And she will.

**************

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Adiza Diaries
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