Regulus stuffed his head deeper into his pillow trying to cover his ears in attempt to make the noises clearly audible from downstairs, caused by the hysterical screaming of his parents Warburga and Orion Black as well as his older brother Sirius shut up.

Though he pretty soon gave up with a sigh of resignation realising that it was useless, that he could do whatever he want the screaming would always be louder.

„Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Don’t you dare speak of my friends like that! I'd rather be a potter, i'd rather be a part of their Family, i’d rather live with them then with you shity twats“

„How dare you to speak of your Family, your name like that? How dare you- “

Sirius interrupted her

„My Family? My name? You know what? I wish it wasn’t my name! I hate that name, i hate you!“

It had been going on like that the whole night, they had been screaming for hours and hours without one single second of silence. And not only once his mother had tried to force Sirius to shut up and obbey to what she and her husband were expecting using the cruciatus curse. Not only once Regulus had been forced to hear his brother screaming in pain. Unable to do anything about it

It had never worked though, Sirius never gave in he always got back to his feed raising his voice against his mother and father again and again.

And so the whole procedure continued for what felt like forever to Regulus. He had been awake all night too scared to close his eyes and fall asleep, too scared to lose Control over the situation not that he ever had something like Control over anything in this household but pretending to do so kept him calm, prevented him from braking down. It was a lie of course it was he was lying to himself and also to a lot of other people constantly but he didn’t mind that, he was used to it since his entire life contained of smaller and biger lies.

As long as it worked it had to be fine, why would he tell the truth anyway when a lie could make everything so much easier? Esspecially in his sorroundings this sort of behaviour was quite usefull.
___

Only a few minutes had passed yet they felled like hours. In which the screaming downstairs still continued as if there was no ending.

„Watch your mouth son! Don’t think we wouldn’t  disown you-“

„Oh i’m begging you please do that! And Don’t you dare call me your son ever again, cause i’m not i’m leaving!“

„Well yes, yes you are. I will make sure of that“

Suddenly his mothers voice was dangerously calm as she said the last sentense before a heavy silence broke down over 12th grimmauld place, a silence that felt like eternity and was scaring the shit out of Regulus.

He was already expecting the worst, he was already expecting to have lost his brother forever. Which was the worst out of all things he could possibly imagine.

And it was way too likely since knew his parents, he knew what they were capable of and he knew that silence after a sentence like that never meant something good. It was obvious, they finaly had enough they finaly did what they probably wanted to do the whole time ever since Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor.

Sirius was gone! He was gone and he would never come back.

Regulus had lost his brother
____

Lost in his thaughts, unable to believe anything else even though he really would have done everything for just one tiny bit of hope left that Sirius was alive. That he was just overthinking everything. He didn’t even noticed the Sound of someone coming up the stairs.

And so Regulus almost got a heart attack as his bedroom dor was litterary slamed open. The next shock only waiting for him a few seconds later as he noticed who it was.
But this time it was a good kind of shock. Though it still took him a short moment to realise he was not dreaming, not halucinating. That it was really Sirius standing there in the dor frame, looking at his younger brother with a weak smile on his face.

Regulus heart stopped for a Second before it startet racing in an unnatural spead. „Sirius“ he wispert under his breath, tearing up the exact same second he said it. And then he couldn’t hold it back any longer. He basicly jumpet out of his bed, sprinting over to his brother wrepping his arms around his neck and holding so tight onto him that Sirius almost struggled to breath for a Second.

„You’re alive“ he mumbled into his chest. Repeating it over and over again. „You’re alive“.

„Of course i am“ Sirius chuckelt a bit, running his Hand softly trough Regulus hair „you really think i would let mother have this satisfaction?“ Regulus shook his head in disbelieve but chuckling a little bit too.

„How can you still be joking? Do you know how much you scared me? I really thought they killed you“ Regulus questioned expecting it to make Sirius giggle even more.

But he turned out to be very wrong, Sirius didn’t laugh, he didn’t even smile anymore. He just looked at his younger brother with a sad expression on his face and tears in his eyes.

„Sorry i… i didn’t know you were awake“, „You shouldn’t have heard this i’m so sorry you had to!“ 

Regulus shook his head also tearing up again, he let go of his brother though Sirius still had his hands resting on his shoulders. And looked him in the eyes „what are you sorry for?“ he questioned his voice so calm, so silent that he was almost wispering.

„It’s our parents fault, they are the problem here, they are doing this to you none of this ever was your fault“ he began to explain while carefully moving his fingers along the rather large cut on Sirius face, probably caused by a curse his mother had thrown at him.

Sirius let it happen still looking at his brother with tears in his eyes but now smiling a little bit again
„You are just being you, and i envy you for that. For the Courage you have to stand up to them for everything“ Regulus addet that sentence so silent and spoke more to himself then to his brother, still Sirius understood  everything.

He gave his little brother a small smile before shaking his head. „No Reggie no! You don’t have to envy me for something like that ever again, and i will never have to stand up to them ever again, listen Reggie i have the sollution for both of us“

Regulus laughed a bit at his brothers Enthusiasmus. „And that would be?“ he asked raising an eyebrow

„We’re runnig away! You and me together we’re going to James, i already send him an owl he’s waiting for us“ the smile on Regulus face dissapeared from one second to the other.

„I’m sorry but no.“ He wispert in Response causing Sirius facial expression to drop as well

„What? Why? Reggie don’t you get it? We’re going, leaving, never coming back. No more evil psychopathic parents, we would be free“ Sirius was almost screaming at him, it wouldn’t take much more and he would be begging on his knees.

Oh how much Regulus wanted to say yes, how much he wanted to run away with his brother. Away from grimmauld place, away from his parents. But he couldn’t there was no way his parents would just let him go like that. So he shook his head again

„Yeah you would be“ he wisperd staring at his feet „you’re a hopeless case in their eyes anyway, they would even be glad you’re gone. But not me. They would never let me go. Thats exactly the reason they had two children so if one steps out of the line they would still have one left, one who can be their heir. Well i gues that one is me now.“

Sirius looked at his brother obviously shooked about what he had just heard. But then he shook his head „Well you’re probably right-“

„Not only probably, definitely they would come after me i can’t risk that“ Regulus was still wispering staring to the ground. And Sirius startet to lose his temper

„Bloody hell Regulus, you should really see yourself right now! You are talking such a bullshit and you can’t even look me in the eyes. Fuck at least look me in my fucking eyes“

But Regulus couldn’t he raised his head a bit, but still refused to look his brother in the eyes „Listen Sirius, you can just run away to your friends, leave and never come back. You can leave this fucking hell and be happy, i’ll stay here. It’s fine, mother loves me i do everything she wants me to do and it’ll be okay“

Tears started running down his face uncontrollelable as he was speaking and his voice was shaking horribly so he stoped talking since he obviously couldn’t trust his voice any longer. Not that Sirius would have let him continue anyway

,,My Merlin Regulus you are such a coward. Do you even listen to yourself? When will you finally have at least some sort of Courage? When will you finally stand up for yourself and do what you want to do? It’s your bloody life not your parents one!" Regulus opened his mouth starting an attempt to say something, but emediatly closed it again as Sirius continued his small speach

,,Also we would protect you, James and I you wouldn’t even be alone we wouldn’t let them get you!"

,,Oh come on, as if you two could do much against a whole bunch of deatheaters. Don't you get it? If i would come with you i would endanger you with that as well, and i just want you to be happy and safe."

After that sentence there was silence again, though this time it wasn’t that long. Regulus wiped his tears away as he finally managed to look up to his brother.

,,You're running out of time, you should leave now before mother makes you" he stated and was surprised how stable his voice soundet.

Sirius noddet in Response ,,Come with me." He begged one last time but Regulus shook his head again

,,I can't" he wispered reseiving a nod again.

,,Then we have nothing left to say to eachother"

With that he turned around and left, without looking back one more time

,,I love you" Regulus wispert into the empty room knowing that Sirius would never hear it.