~The marks humans leave are too often scars~

The rooftop looked beautiful, decorated with fairy lights on all the walls, around the round dinner table and on the legs of white clothed wooden chairs. Lavender fragrance was filled in the air as scented candles were kept ready to light when lady of the hour arrived. The music system was ready, her favorite playlist snooped off from her cell phone, and Manik was not even surprised to see majority of soft romantic numbers, mixed with a few party numbers. The ambience was just the perfect right, the stars were in abundance, the breeze was just enough to play with her locks but not ruin her hairstyle. Every thing looked as he wanted, and he could not be happier. It was time he come to terms with his own feelings and accept it to the world, and no matter how cheesy it sounded, his world was only one stupid women, who was his legally wedded wife.

Manik checked his phone again. It was 6 pm. He had texted her the location and time a few hours back, and had asked her to reach by 6:30 pm. Her WhatsApp showed double ticks but no blue ticks yet, but that didn't worry Manik. He knew she was habituated to read her messages through the window box and not open the app. And even if she didn't reach by 6:30, he could always call her, couldn't he?

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Nandini walked along the shore, her hands crossed in her front, rubbing her arms lightly as the cold breeze wrapped her in its embrace. Her mind was not working, her meeting with Mukti had left her in splits. She had no sense of time, neither the fact that it was almost dusk. She was hardly managing to keep her tears at bay, she didn't want to go home and meet Manik at that moment.

" We were school kids when we met, and that's the best time to make friends, you know. So we clicked, for some reason Manik clicked with me the most. He was such a sensitive child, who wanted to have fun, but didn't know how to. It was mine and Kabir's forte, playing pranks and finding ways to have fun. We have some awesome memories of those days, it was like we could give up on our own lives for each other!".

" We remained great friends for ten years Nandini, we met when we were roughly eight, and until twelfth, there was nothing that could break us apart. Manik had always been our mother hen, there is no one in the whole world who could be a better friend than him, and we loved him for that. He always took care of all of us, a little more than required, would go over the top for one petty smile of us, irrespective of the fact that it might cost him things".

Nandini smiled at that memory of Mukti speaking, it was so Manik. For god sake that man had done everything to convince her to find love elsewhere, just because he thought he won't be able to keep her happy. If he could do that for her, it was no wonder he would have crossed seven oceans for them, without an ounce of hesitation.

" But then we joined college, and everything began to change. SPACE was known for it's lavish infrastructure, high class students and all night parties more than it's exquisite curriculum covering almost all subjects. Though having it on your CV was a big deal, so we all went ahead with that. The first dent came with our twelfth standard's percentages, Manik topped our batch and I and Alya scored above eighty, but Kabir and Dhruv were bordering seventies. I always thought they were grateful that Manik helped them score that much, but later I realized they were miffed that he taught them but scored much more than them".

A deep sigh left Nandini as she recalled those words. It wasn't anything unusual, she had seen cases like these before too, where the competition tears apart friendships, specially in the modern world. She considered the people who have 'best friends' really lucky. She wasn't one of those, but it seemed Manik had once, before life played games with him, snatching the solace from him.

" In college, we met Madhyam Singhaniya, the cool dude. He was the topper too, Manik's direct competition, and when in first semester Manik topped again by two marks, he took it as a challenge to demean him by any means. He had money, too much of it, and by nature he was shrewd, something Manik could never be. So he lured all of us to him, and we didn't even realize what we were doing. Well, a few of us still don't".

Nandini remembered Mukti's disappointed expressions at that sentence. She could see that the girl was regretting whatever happened between them, but that didn't mellow down Nandini at all. Sometimes it's important to stand up, to act. Just feeling guilty never wipes up the stains, unless you do something about it, and she clearly remembered that Mukti was silent even that day when they had visited Manik and Nandini.

"Dhruv was the first target, and with him his girlfriend Alya was free case. She was my best friend, so I joined too, and Kabir had always been a party sucker. So when we were all invited to a high profile pub party, no one denied. Manik was invited too, but he did not join. He had always hated crowds. But that party was specifically to show us how happening that kind of life could be, especially when you don't even have to pay. The glitter and sparkle fascinated all of us; dance, drinks and attention had crawled up deep in our minds and hearts"

" It didn't stop at that, because Manik could see it was ruining us. We would Party all night even on weekdays, miss college, and do everything we we weren't supposed to. Like I even got hooked to drugs. There are many things I am ashamed to say today, but those days, I lived for them".

"If we have had ruined only our lives, I would still be in a position to ask for forgiveness, but we ruined it all for Manik too. He obviously as a good friend tried to stop us, but all we could see was him trying to stop us from having fun. We-", the way Mukti had stopped mid sentence, Nandini had understood it was something grave.

" I was high one night, and a boy tried to use myself to his advantage. Manik stopped him in the right moment, and protected me, but when he sued Manik for assaulting him, I didn't stand up for Manik. I told the authorities that the guy was my boyfriend, and that it was my choice. Manik was rusticated for a week, his eyes still haunt me, but I believed Madhyam over him who said it was nothing wrong. It was much later when I heard him laughing about his stunts with me that I realized how wrong I was. Manik never said a word to me about it, never complained even though it costed him his reputation, his grades and his scholarship. I, even shouted at him asking him to stop interfering in my life, that I didn't need a babysitter for god sake, and much more".

Tears rolled down Nandini's cheeks but she didn't have any control over it. She could not help but imagine how betrayed he might have felt at that moment, she remembered him telling her that he was closest to Mukti.

" Dhruv and Kabir never left a chance to insult him either. Throughout the second and third semester, they picked on him for anything and everything. They downright bullied him, locked him in a storeroom several times, called him names for being a 'fattu', for ruining their lives by overshadowing them. Dhruv had once told him in front of the whole college that 'nobody would ever stay with him voluntarily, that nobody can love him, that he was too old school to have friends'. I think that one sentence stayed with Manik forever, because in school it was Dhruv who had told him he was the best friend anyone can ever have. Manik had believed Dhruv then, and he believed him that day also. I think that was why I never saw him make even one friend afterwards in college".

" Kabir was the harshest, because his parents doted on Manik too, and unknowingly compared him to Manik. Madhyam used everything to his best of advantage, and Kabir like a puppet did everything he was instructed to, from insulting his character in front of the class to calling him 'mumma' because Manik cared. There are so many instances Nandini that I can't even speak of. It was never one big incident that changed him or us, it was the cumulative effect of so many small things, but the effect was magnanimous, so much that Manik changed his college for the last semester. He left space, and repeated his final year in another city".

Nandini sighed, her hiccups getting uncontrollable. She knew for sure how anxious Manik was of new places, he did not settle well with changes. Routine life was his thing. She could only wonder the trauma that pushed him to change his college, his city. There were so many things he didn't talk about, not to her, not to anyone. How had he dealt with all of these?

" You know the worst thing we can do do someone, we can disrespect him for being him. We did that to Manik. We criticized him for being him, for being vocal about his feelings, for caring for us open handedly, for trying to be there for us whenever we needed. We told him, showed him how all of these was wrong, how his virtues were his flaws, how there was nothing in him to be appreciative about. We ruined him so bad Nandini, and nobody even realized it, until at least I did when his parents died".

Nandini had by now sat down at the shore, and drawn her knees to her chest. She didn't know how to deal with his devastation, but she was immensely proud of him. He had been subjected to so much but he didn't let that overpower the goodness in him he held for others. He punished himself for everything but never let anyone else bear the consequences. She wanted to go hug him in that instant.

" When his parents died, It was almost four years since he left college. I got to know from our old college whatsapp group. But when I came over, I was surprised. He had no one beside him to except some of his old relatives, and Uncle's colleagues. He was silent, and it wasn't unusual because he always talked less, but when I came to him, it was the way he looked at me, like I was just a known stranger. He didn't ask me anything, didn't cry in front of me, but cared about if or not I ate. It was then I realized over the years, he had not made one single friend, he didn't open up to anyone again after us, and then, he had shut us off too. He never said one word of complain to me, never bad mouthed any of us, never demanded an explanation. He just accepted like it was actually his fault while it was pretty much ours. For our ignorant mistakes, he punished himself. It cost him his ability to socialize, to feel confident about himself, to love himself. But it was too late then, my realizations won't bring him his lost years back".

" Till today, I am waiting to apologise to him, but the fear of those unasked questions always scare me off. I think others also realize it, but their ego come in between, like always. That day, when I saw him standing up for you, I felt like there was a chance for my redemption, that's why I wanted to meet you. I am sorry Nandini, I am sorry for everything, I wish I could do something".

" Only wishing doesn't lead to any outcome, Ms. Mukti Wardhan. Confessing all these to me doesn't make you any less guiltier, doesn't decrease the pain you all made him go through for apparently no fault of his. Manik might forgive you all but I will never. He is till date bearing the burden of your deeds on his shoulders. A man like him, who deserved all the love in the world, is scared to love, is afraid he isn't worty of love, thinks everytime he wants to speak. I wish I could literally slap some sense into all of your thick heads, but it's of no use. Just stay the fuck away from him, if I see any of you in his or our vicinity, I swear I will sue all of you", Nandini had blasted before running out of the shop, leaving a weeping Mukti behind.

Since then, she was here, on the shore, silently preparing herself to face him and not break down. The amount of love she had for him had only increased a hundred times and the respect, a thousand times. She wanted nothing than loving him forever in that moment.

It was when the vendors behind her began to close that she realized it was really late. She checked her watch to see it was past ten in the night. Cursing herself, Nandini gathered her belonging and rushed out, looking for an auto. Thankfully, she found one, and reached home in another fifteen minutes. It was when she paid the driver that she realized her phone was in her hand bag. Walking up to the elevator, she opened the screen only to be shocked.

189 missed calls.
56 unread texts.
167 unseen whatsapp texts, and the top one was Manik's who had sent her almost 50 texts.

What shocked her more was the first text, asking her to meet somewhere at 6:30 pm.

The watch showed it was 10:30 pm, and the door to the flat was unlocked. Only she wasn't prepared for the sight she met!

Note: Happy holi!
May you be blessed with colours of joy, sunshine, happiness and Smiles.

Also, next update Sunday!