"Biscuit- thank god you're okay-" Magnus held me tightly, holding me close to his chest, "I lost my mind thinking you were gone-"

I softly smiled and hugged onto him tighter, exhaling, "I missed you too, Magnus."

Simon suddenly ran over the moment I slipped away from Magnus, hugging me incredibly tight, "Zee!"

"Wow, hey!-" I gasped when he lifted me off the ground, hugging back tightly, "Hi-"

"Am I dreaming? This- you're okay, you're alive-" Simon was stammering as he slowly set me down after holding me for a few moments, "You made it-"

"Of course I did." I nudged his shoulder playfully, "It's a lot harder to kill off the meth dealer."

Simon softly smiled at my reference, then sighed through his nose, "Zee, I am- so sorry-"

"No, I am-" I squeezed his arms gently, "Look- it's alright- we both made it, right? We're totally badasses now-"

Simon softly laughed, "You've always been a badass-"

"Zee!-" Isabelle rushed over to me, following shortly after Simon, stumbling when I was engulfed by Isabelle, "Oh my god-"

"Iz-" I immediately hugged back and held onto my parabatai tightly, "Hi- hey-"

But even being reconnected with her, I couldn't feel her anymore. I couldn't feel our connection.

Isabelle pulled away and pulled up her shirt lightly to look for our parabatai rune, but there was nothing there.

"Jonathan." I swallowed hard, putting my hair behind my ears, "I can't really make sense of it- because I don't entirely know what they did to me- but, they used some sort of magic to make it seem like I'm dead- so our rune- is just- gone- along with my abilities- I couldn't even make a portal rune."

"Tell me where Jonathan is." Isabelle looked up at me, "I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch with my bare hands."

I sharply inhale through my nose, "Another thing-"

"You can't." Jace answered for me, "None of us can."

Simon questions, "Why?"

"Look familiar? Doesn't ring a bell to me either." I pulled on my shirt and showed them the rune, "Lilith carved this rune into me- right before your mark blasted her back to Hell."

"The rune ties Zee's life force to Jonathan's." Alec exhales deeply and wrapped his arm around me.

Luke nods once, "Hurt one of them, you hurt the other in the exact same way."

"Which is why I sent an alert out to the other Institutes." Alec slid his finger on the screen, "Jonathan must be captured- but, alive."

"I love you." I looked up at my boyfriend, then wrapped my arms around his middle loosely.

"I love you-" Alec rubbed my arm, looking down at me, "Not losing you again any time soon."

I softly smile at him, then looked between everyone else, "When we were in Paris- he was looking for a sword- it's called The Morning Star."

Clary huffs, "Seriously?-"

Simon speaks, "Another magic sword?"

"I know right?" I huffed lightly, "I don't know- he said it was some sort of family heirloom- tried to say he was going to gift it to me-"

Isabelle nods immediately, "I'll reach out to all the weapons masters to get intel."

"I'll draw all the ley line junctions in the city." Magnus nodded as well, "If Jonathan moved the apartment, we'll find him."

I looked between everyone, my heart filling with warmth, "You guys- are amazing- I- just- thank you-"

Isabelle shook her head at my words, "You don't need to thank us-"

"No, really-" My voice got quiet, "I honestly don't know where I'd be without you guys. You're always here for me- thank you."

Simon smiles, "That's what family's for, Young."

"All right, let's get to work." Alec nodded lightly at everyone, starting to slip away from me.

I held my grip tight, "Wait- kiss-"

Alec leaned down and pressed his lips into mine, hugging onto me tightly once more, holding the kiss for a few seconds, then smiled down at me, slipping away and heading to work.

My eyes landed on Magnus, rushing behind him and catching his hand after noticing he wasn't very far, "Hey, wait-"

Magnus stops and looks back at me, "Yes, biscuit?-"

"I was- hoping- that if it wasn't a bother- maybe you could- magic me something up- you know- that- fixes what Jonathan did to me." I gestured to where my parabatai rune once was, "I can't feel her anymore, Magnus- I can't even feel my abilities."

"Biscuit-" Magnus' expression dropped at my words, grabbing my hands, staring at me with complete guilt, "I- I don't have my magic anymore."

I blink, "You what?-"

"The meeting with my father didn't go as planned-" Magnus nervously chuckled, looking down, "I gave up my magic to bring Jace back."

"You did that?-" My heart broke, staring at him, "Magnus, oh my god- you sacrificed everything-"

"It's okay." Magnus squeezes my hands in assurance but I knew it bothered him, "It's alright- all that matters is- Jace is back to normal- and you're home."

I barely nodded when he gave me a reassuring smile, then walked away from me to get to work.

I huffed lightly and leaned back against the table.

"Hey-" Jace walked over to me slowly, "You okay?"

I looked up at him, then inhaled, "I- yeah, it's just- this stupid rune-"

Jace swallows, "May I see it?"

"Yeah-" I nodded lightly, standing up straight, watching him slowly pull on my shirt and looks at the rune carved into my skin, my eyebrows furrowing when I see the look on his face, "What?"

Jace exhales, "I think I've seen it before-"

-

"We have to find it-" I flipped through pages of the book I held, "It's got to be here somewhere-"

"Listen, this could take a while-" Jace looked up at me, "Why don't you get something to eat?"

"Uh, no- I'm good, I'll eat later-" I don't look up.

"Zee, you haven't eaten since you got back-" Jace stood up straight, "You've been going nonstop since you got back- you need to take a minute-"

My eyes were glued to the text in front of me, trying to find some sort of clue, "I don't have a minute right now-"

"Hey-" Jace grabbed my arm and stopped me, my head snapping toward him, "Listen, I thought I'd lost you- forever."

I stared at him, not saying anything.

"And now that you're back, I know the circumstances might not be ideal- but," Jace huffed lightly, "I mean- I miss my best friend. Even before I thought you were dead, I was possessed by Lilith- we've been apart for so long- I just- I want us to be normal again. I want to get Chinese- or just sit in your room- so you can read your book- while I- mess with you to try and get you to do something fun- anything- and you won't catch a break-"

I sigh through my nose, then huffed a little, "I- you're right- I'm sorry- I just- have had a lot on my mind recently."

"I know." Jace squeezes my arms lightly, "I know you've been through a lot-"

"Alright- fine, how about we- just- take these books and go to my room then- we could- order in?" I suggested and placed my hands on my waist, "I just- I have to get through these books- if there's a chance, I need that reassurance-"

"I'm sorry-" Jace huffed lightly and ran his hands through his hair, "I'm trying to remember-"

"It's alright-" I waved him off lightly, "If it's something you learned at the Institute, it should be here- we'll find it."

"But- I didn't just study at the Institute." Jace looked at me, "We've been looking in the wrong place."

-

"Paradise Lost?" I questioned, shoving a piece of orange chicken into my mouth, leaning over the bed to look over Jace's shoulder, "Sounds familiar-"

"Do you remember this?" Jace flipped through the pages, "This edition was illustrated by a special sect of the Silent Brothers- seers."

I shook my head, "I do not-"

"Valentine made me memorize it." Jace stopped at a page, "He was obsessed with Lucifer's war on Heaven, and his clash with his brother, the Archangel Michael."

"But, wait-" I pointed at the illustration, "The rune- they were connected- like Jonathan and I-"

"Look, in this one." I pointed to the next page, "The rune is gone-"

"Michael vanquished Lucifer." Jace looked at me, "He must have found some way to separate himself."

"That means there is a way- and we just have to find it." I dropped everything and got up, "Okay well- I'm gonna go find more books on this- and-"

Jace immediately spoke, "Wait, no- stop-"

"Stop? No-" I shot back, "What do you mean-"

"I'll look into it- alright? Go spend time with Alec." Jace set the book down, "Instead of throwing yourself into work- you need to spend time with the people you love- I mean- I don't know- your boyfriend? You guys still need to move into your apartment."

I inhale, "Well, Alec-"

"Go." Jace cut me off, "He took it the worst when we all thought you were gone, alright- go- take a minute with him."

I huff lightly, "I- you're right-"

-

"Hey- I got that-" Alec took the last box from me when I stumbled through the door, kicking the door closed and setting it down with the rest, "Are you alright? You've been extremely quiet- and haven't stopped moving-"

"Yeah, I'm fine-" I began looking through a box of our stuff, "We just- we have a lot to do-"

"You've barely looked at me since we got here-" Alec had his hands on his sides, looking at me, "We've barely talked- you've just been carrying heavy boxes in and out- almost falling with each lap I might add-"

I remarked, pulling out my sketch book from the box, "Are you calling me weak?"

"Maybe I am-" Alec tried to get my attention in a playful manner, "Gonna do anything about it?"

I don't reply, making Alec huff lightly, trying again, more sincere this time, "Come on- let's take a minute-"

"We don't have a minute-" I replied, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear, "Unpacking is going to take ages- do you want to stay at the Institute tonight or just lay a mattress on the floor?-"

"Zee-" Alec grabbed my arms and forced me to look at him, "Zee- I thought you were dead."

I froze at his words, staring at him in silence.

"I thought I lost the love of my life-" Alec stared right into my eyes, his voice low and vulnerable, "I mean- I completely lost myself without you."

"And now that I have you back, all I want is to stop, just for a minute-" Alec slipped his hands down my arms and grabbed my hands right, "No work- just- you and me."

I opened my mouth, then closed it, sighing through my nose, "I'm sorry- you're right- I just- I've been like this all day, it's not you-"

"I know- I've noticed." Alec stared at me, then huffs through his nose, confronting me right then and there, "Look, why won't you talk me?"

I swallowed hard and looked down at our hands, breathing out, feeling as if keeping it together was useless after he put me on the spot, "Because- I don't want you to look at me the way you're looking at me right now."

Alec questioned, "Like what?"

"Like I'm weak." My voice was quiet when I looked back up to meet his eyes, "Fragile."

Alec's words left his mouth almost immediately, "I wish I was half as strong as you on your weakest day."

I scoffed gently, throwing my head back, my eyes closed, letting go of his hands to lightly nudge his shoulder.

"What?" Alec sucked through his teeth when i nudged him, looking down at me with complete seriousness, "You can beat anyone or anything."

"That's not true." I lifted my head and looked at him, then took a step back, huffing as I took off my jacket, "I can't beat this."

Alec began, "Yes you can-"

"No- I can't." I spun to look at him when I set my jacket down, "It's always gonna be there, like a shadow, just waiting to be taken advantage of- how are we supposed to get rid of Jonathan if I'm going with him? I know you guys. I know you guys won't finish the job-"

"That's why we're going to figure out how to separate you from him-" Alec replied, "I know you've been through a lot-"

"A lot?" I felt angry at him for some reason, lashing out completely, "Jonathan convinced me you were dead- he convinced me that Jace killed you- I can't feel- my own parabatai- I no longer have my abilities- Magnus? Magnus doesn't have his magic anymore because he gave it up- because of me- to fix what I screwed up- and- I have this- stupid rune- that's linked me completely to Jonathan- and I don't even have the first step on how to get rid of it-"

Alec grabbed my face and pressed his lips into mine, shutting me up from shouting any further.

I completely tensed up, before realizing, putting my hands over his, kissing him back, guilt pooling in my chest when I began to process how I just went off on him.

I slowly pulled away, my voice low, "That was- a lot- I'm sorry- I don't know what came over me-"

"It's okay- don't apologize- you have a lot on your plate now." Alec places his hands on my shoulders, "That's what I'm here for- right?"

I don't reply.

That didn't just feel like everything being bottled up.

"Okay, look." Alec squeezes my arms in comfort, "Please be honest with the people who care about you- I know- so much has happened- and you're stressed- but I'm here- to listen to every crazy vent- and to hold you for every breakdown-"

I looked up at him and gently nodded, quiet.

"Whether it's figuring out how to separate you from him or moving into our apartment-" Alec grabbed my face and gently caressed my cheek, "I'm here with you, every step of the way- alright?"

Before I could reply, my palm started to burn, a gasp leaving my mouth, pulling my face away from Alec's grasp, turning my back to him and looking at my scorching hand.

"Zee, what's going on- what's wrong?" Alec rounded me and looked at my palm, taking a look at it, "What's happening?-"

"Jonathan-" I grunted in pain and gripped his arm, "Oh my god, he's burning himself-"

Alec quickly pulled out his steel and pulled up my shirt, using my Iratze to heal me, knowing that I no longer had my abilities to activate the rune for me, "Here- it's alright- it stopped-"

I breathed out, shooting back quick, "Yeah, for now."

Alec looked up at me, "Zee-"

"That's it- I'm done with this-" I grabbed my jacket, pulling out my phone, "I'm calling Jace- I'm getting this off me-"

"Wait, it's too dangerous-" Alec tried to stop me, putting his stele away, "We still don't know what-"

"I don't care, Alec." I snipped at him unintentionally, feeling the same overwhelming anger from before, "I will carve it out myself if I have to- I am getting it off of me- right now."

-

"I don't care what's happening- don't stop until it's off- got it?" I tossed my jacket to the side, sitting on the bed, looking at Jace, Alec by my side, "Alright?-"

"It's gonna be painful." Jace held the device, looking hesitant, "Especially if I don't stop-"

I pushed my hair behind my shoulders, "Do it, Jace."

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Jace seemed like he didn't want to hurt me, "We can find another way-"

Alec was hesitant as well, "Zee, maybe we shouldn't-"

"Think about it this way- the more it hurts me, the more it hurts Jonathan." I stared at him, "And he deserves every bit of it."

Jace sighed through his nose, pulling my shirt to the side lightly, holding the device over the rune, Alec grabbing my hand tight.

Jace started to try and destroy the rune, the pain immediately piercing into my skin, my jaw clenching in pain, one hand holding Alec's, the other holding the bed tightly.

My eyes were squeezed shut, my body stiff as Jace held the device steady, watching my reactions as I couldn't help but let out a grunt of pain.

I was panting with how bad the pain was, another grunt leaving my lips and which made Jace stop and pull the device away, "Alright, I can't- I can't-"

"Hey, hey-" Alec pulled me into his side when I let out a small scream at the end of it, breathing heavily, the area now sore from the device staying on it.

"Is it gone? Is it gone-" I pulled my shirt immediately, looking down the rune that was still there.

-

I huffed lightly, leaning my back against the wall, seated on the mattress I had laid on the ground in Alec and I's empty bedroom after spending hours alone unpacking, only getting a third done of the apartment.

I had taken a break and had filled the entire room with candles, thinking that it would give the room a better feel to it since all it had was a mattress.

I heard the door open, my head perking up quickly at the sound, grabbing the take out from the diner I had picked up.

The footsteps grew closer, Alec's head peaking through the bedroom door, slowly opening it, looking around, then at me, "Hey- I got your fire message- what's all this?"

"This is-" I inhale, looking up at him, "My- I'm sorry for being such a sucky girlfriend- and- I love you?"

"Oh?" Alec stared at me, then stepped into the room, "Tell me more."

"I lashed out on you-" I slowly set the food back down, getting up to my feet, being a few inches shorter than normal due to not wearing my boots, "I was- so- focused on getting this rune off- rushing being rid of Jonathan- and that- I forgot what really matters to me."

"Being home with you." I grabbed his hands slow, intertwining our fingers, lightly swinging them, looking up at him, "You're my first priority."

Alec's eyes were glued to me, his voice quiet when he spoke, his eyes holding a slight glossy sheet over them, "God- I missed you."

"I missed you too-" My eyes teared up lightly at the sight of him crying, tilting my head to the side as I looked at him.

Alec used our linked hands to pull me into him, then grabbing my thighs and lifting me off the ground.

A small squeal left my lips, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, softly smiling at him, one he returned as he pressed his lips into mine.

-

"Alec, I went through a lot of work to order that food-" I pointed at him as we laid on the mattress, covered by the sheets, our untouched food resting on the ground, the room still lit with candles.

Alec looked at me, a small smile on his face as he watched me, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" I lightly hit his bare shoulder, "I had to talk to people and everything- do you know how much work that is?-"

A giggle left my lips when he rolled back on the bed, pulling me on top of him, his arms around me, "I'm so sorry you had to go through the trouble-"

"That's right- you should be-" I ruffled his already messy hair, flipping mine to the side, smiling at him.

I just looked at him for a few moments.

I felt alright.

That was until I felt a piercing pain on my arm, making my eyes widen and snap right to where I felt it, a whimper leaving my lips, grabbing at my arm.

"What- what's wrong?" Alec noticed right away, his eyes going to my arm, "What's-"

Alec couldn't finish his sentence, the both of us staring at three words carved into my arm, my blood pooling the lines breaking in my skin.

I miss you.

authors note:

i liked this chapter a lot tbh

zalec moving into their apartment is just great

but, important :

you guys might wanna go onto my message board and read the huge message i wrote in regards to my two alec books ... it's kinda important and whatever is said should be taken into consideration

but, thank you so much for 106k !! that's insane . I'm so grateful

go read metanoia !!

vote and comment loadsss