"Magnus, you told me yourself that it's been hundreds of years since you banished your father." I watched him put the dark sand on the ground in a star shape, "What makes you think he'll even listen?"

Magnus looks up at me for a second, inhaling deeply, "Let's just say he owes me one."

I mention, "For what happened with your mother?"

"That and for everything in the years that followed." Magnus exhales, "I was living on the streets- I didn't know who or what I was."

"Asmodeus took me in." Magnus then said, "Nurtured my darker impulses- and taught me the "proper" way to be a warlock."

I crouched by him, "Why'd you listen?"

"Because he was the only one in the world with eyes like me." Magnus looked at me, "He was my father."

When Magnus continued filling in the pentagram, I exhale deeply, "Look, at least give me a few minutes to call in back-up from the Institute-"

Magnus looks at me with a light smile, "Putting your new Head of the Institute position to use?"

"Maybe." I slowly stood back up, "But, listen- we don't even have Lilith under control- if another Greater Demon gets loose, it could put the whole city at risk- and- Alec would probably kill me."

Magnus stood up and set the little bottle down, "Fortunately for the good people of New York, my father won't be traveling top-side."

I stare at him in suspicion, my eyes lightly squinted, "What aren't you telling me?"

"This pentagram isn't for summoning Asmodeus to Earth, it's for sending someone to Edom." Magnus gestured to it, "In this case, me."

"Magnus-" My eyes widen lightly at his words, "There is no way in hell I'm letting you do that-"

"We need my father's help." Magnus shot back at me, "And the cell service down there is terrible-"

I walked over to him, "Magnus, this isn't funny-"

Magnus faces me, "Would you prefer I act as terrified as I feel right now?"

"Let me go with you." I argued, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear, "I can help-"

"Biscuit, the moment you step foot in Edom, you'll die, and you know that-" Magnus looked at me.

"We can figure something out, I'm not letting you go through that alone-" I tried to persuade him, "This is absolutely insane-"

"Do you even know how insane you sound right now?" Magnus turned it on me, "You're not coming with me, biscuit-"

"Do you even know how insane you sound right now?" I turned it back on him, "You're not going- to Edom- by yourself- alone, without any backup-"

"Tell me Jace isn't worth it." Magnus stares down at me when I had opened my mouth to argue back, but I couldn't.

Because Jace was worth it.

He was worth all of it.

I swallowed, "You can't use that against me-"

Magnus sighs at me, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me into his chest, kissing my head as he had knew I had no argument left after he had said that, "Let's get this over with."

Magnus snapped his fingers, moving them around as a gust of magic erupted from his fingers, flames bursting on the pentagram.

"You're gonna make it back." I quickly blurted our, grabbing Magnus' arm before he had stepped in, "You're gonna make it back home, you hear me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Magnus softly smiled down at me, gesturing to me, "Look what I have waiting for me."

I moved, clutching his middle tightly, tearing up lightly, "Thank you- for everything."

"I love you, biscuit." Magnus hugged me tightly, before slowly letting go of me and stepping into the pentagram before I could make a move to impulsively stop in.

I helplessly stood there, watching him envelop into the flames and move into Edom, his screams echoing the room, "I love you too."

-

"Hey-" Alec's deep voice filled my ears as I sat in the armory on my own, small tears in my eyes, having a sudden interest in my kindjals, as I felt his arms wrap around me tightly from behind, "I was looking everywhere for you-"

I was dressed in my normal black ripped jeans and leather jacket, a navy blue long sleeve tucked into my jeans, black combat boots completing my every day attire.

"I was at Magnus'." I mumbled, setting my kindjals down in front of me, "Lorenzo's an ass, he won't let any of the warlocks help Magnus with the spell-"

"So, the warlocks aren't an option?" Alec put his chin on my shoulder, as I could hear the tension in his tone.

"No," I lightly shook my head, "That's why Magnus went to Edom- to, get enough magic there- from his father-"

Alec's eyes slightly widened, "One of the greater demons?-"

"Asmodeus." I raised my hand and lightly waved him off, "I know- crazy, but- that's not the point- he went alone, and I'm worried."

Alec squeezed me tighter, moving so his cheek was against the side of my head now, "Don't worry, Magnus can handle his own, he's strong-"

"I know- but, I just- have this terrible gut feeling." I felt the vulnerability in my words, my voice quieting down at the thought of me even uttering the words, "Alec, I'm scared."

This had seemed to catch Alec slightly off guard, as I had never admitted the words out loud about anything.

"You're scared?" Alec let go of me, turned me in my chair so I faced me, setting his hands on my knees and he crouched, looking up at me, "Didn't think anything could scare you-"

"I- I can't help but think something terrible is going to happen when we finally- confront Lilith-" I ran a hand through my straightened hair stressfully, my eyes burning with tears, "I mean- this isn't like Valentine- we have no idea what she's up to, at least with Valentine we knew his entire life goal was to eliminate the Downworld and whoever protected them all together-"

"Hey, hey-" Alec grabbed my hands to comfort me, looking right into my eyes when he took notice of the glossy sheets over them, "We'll find out, and we'll stop her, okay?-"

"I keep trying to tell myself that." A tear fell from my eye, "But, we are no match against a Greater Demon- and something's telling me that someone's going to get hurt in the crossfire, and I'm so scared it's going to be any one of you-"

"And, I can't- handle that right now, after losing Jace to Lilith- because I made him vulnerable- I don't want to be the reason I lose- anyone else-" I moved my hands from his, and grabbed his face, my voice falling into a whisper to prevent it from breaking, "Especially you-"

"Hey-" Alec reaches up and grabbed my face while I had held his, lifting himself up slightly just so he could lean his forehead against mine, "Everything will be okay."

My voice fell to a whisper, "How are you so sure?"

"Because we are so much stronger together." Alec had the hope that I didn't, "Because you defeated Valentine- even after it took us ages after he resurfaced. We will defeat Lilith, and we'll get Jace back."

"Just because we defeated Valentine, doesn't mean we can defeat Lilith, Alec-" More tears fell from my eyes, the unsettling feeling growing in the pit of my stomach, "I can't shake the feeling-"

"It's okay to be scared." Alec shushed me quietly, pressing his lips into mine for a few short seconds to calm me, "I'll have enough hope for the both of us."

My eyes opened after the kiss, looking between his eyes, "I love you so much."

This made Alec smile lightly, "I love you too-"

I pressed my lips into his softly, my arms wrapping around his neck as his hands delicately held my face.

His phone rung in his pocket, making us pull apart from the kiss, him answering it to Luke and Maryse, his face twisting in confusion, "Lilith's hiding in a mundane building?"

"Yes." Maryse's voice filled the line when Alec put his phone on speaker and set it on the table in front of me so I could hear, "The trail led us here."

"She's trying to put as many bodies as possible between her and anyone with a mind to stop her." Luke continued, "Any word from Magnus?"

Alec's silence followed, as I turned in my seat to face the phone, my voice varying, Alec wrapping his arms around me from behind and placing his chin on my head in comfort, "We might be on our own-"

Maryse exhaled in assurance, "I'm sure Magnus is just waiting to make some sort of dramatic entrance."

"Yeah-" I swallow, "Let's hope so."

"Thanks for the intel." Alec said in response, "I'll call Izzy- she and Simon will meet us there."

"Bring me a blade." Maryse suddenly said.

I inhale, "Maryse-"

"Mom-" Alec was thinking the same as I was, "I'm gonna ask you to sit this one out."

"Against the Queen of Hell?" Maryse reasoned, "You're gonna need all the help you can get."

"Please, Mom, for me." Alec pleaded her, "For Izzy. For Max- let us do the heavy lifting."

Luke's voice followed in quiet conversation with Maryse, "We pull this off, Jace is gonna need you."

-

"Simon's been in the building forever." Alec complained, "What's taking him so long?"

"Alec, it's a high rise." Isabelle looked at him.

"Sorry." Simon rushed back and let out a sigh, "I tried to get as close as I could without anyone noticing, but- my vamp ears couldn't hear Clary inside anywhere."

I crossed my arms, "Lilith must be concealing her location with some kind of glamour."

"Let's find out." Isabelle pulled her stele out and ran it over her spiritum rune, looking up at the building.

Simon points, "What does that one do?"

"Spiritum." Alec answered his question, "It allows us to see currents of supernatural energy- so, if we can't see the shark in the ocean-"

"You can still see the waves it makes." I made a light boom sound as I hit my fist against Alec's playfully in a fist bump, smiling lightly at me finishing his sentence.

"Lilith has portal wards on the perimeter and she's redirected ley lines to the top floor." Isabelle's Jess scanned the building, "I've never seen magic that strong."

"With or without Magnus, we have to get Clary out of there." I swallowed hard, looking between everyone, "Alright?"

Luke nods once, then reminds me, "Look, Lilith's gonna throw everything she has at us, including Jace."

Simon began to ramble, "For the record, I'd rather not vaporize Jace if he tries to kill me, but- I can't control how this thing works, or the fact that he'll probably try to kill me during the fight."

"That's a good point." Alec thought out loud, then pulled out his stele and tosses it to Simon, "I have another way you can be helpful."

Simon caught it, looking at the object, then up at Alec, "What am I gonna do with a steely?"

Alec corrected him quick, "Stele."

"I've heard it both ways." Simon lightly shrugged.

"I'll come with you-" I moved, put my hands on Simon's shoulders and jumped onto his back, "Can you get us up to Clary?"

Alec looks at me, "Are you sure?"

"I'm gonna save her." I looked at him, then patted Simon's shoulder, "Giddy up-"

Simon held me up by my thighs, looking up at me as Alec shamefully started to smile at my actions and words, "I'm not a horse-"

I patted his head, "Go on, my trusty stead-"

-

"Hey-" I whispered and jumped off Simon's back when we had found Clary on the top floor, Lilith's back to us as she stood in front of a large box, "Miss us?-"

Clary lets out a sigh of relief when she saw us, Simon freeing Clary of her restraints, "Let's get the hell out of here-"

"No, wait!-" Clary whispered shouted us to a stop, "We can't let her bring our brother back to life-"

Simon's eyebrows furrow, "Sebastian?"

"Jonathan." Clary corrected.

Simon held up his fingers, "Two brothers?"

"Same guy." Clary replied quick.

"Wait- that's what she's been trying to do?" I tended up, "She's trying to bring Jonathan back to life?-"

"I am, indeed-" Lilith's voice made me spin around and face her quickly, as she slowly walked toward me, a small smile on her lips, "I was wondering what was taking you so long-"

Before I could speak, magic sparked from her hands as she sent Clary and Simon flying back and onto the ground, knocking them out cold, Simon's blast knocking me to my knees, the same restraints she had on Clary now on me, wrapping around my wrists and ankles.

I couldn't even muster out a full sentence, forcing myself to my feet, not being able to move, "What?-"

"I was waiting for you." Lilith stood directly in front of me, "I knew you'd come to save your little sister-"

I tried to move back but couldn't, falling onto the ground due to being able to move my feet, my heart starting to race, "Where do I fit into your plan?-"

Lilith's teeth clenched, as she grabbed me and slammed me against the wall by my shoulder, using that hand to pull my shirt to the side, revealing my skin.

Then, she started using her nail to carve right into my flesh, my teeth clenching, watching as she scraped into my skin, trying to hold back my whimpers of pain.

But, it was no long until I was screaming in pain, blooding filling the lines she had broke into my flesh.

Lilith stood up, my blood dripping down her nail, "As you live, so shall my son."

-

"Simon!" I whispered shouted, hitting his arm with my fists for what felt like the hundredth time, trying not to catch Lilith's attention, "Get up!"

Simon let out a small groan, his eyes opening, gripping his arm where I had hit him multiple times, "Ow-"

Clary was slowly coming too as well, sitting up in confusion, holding her head and looking around.

"Come on, get these off-" I held out my wrists and ankles for him, as he slowly sat up and undid my restraints with his strength, tossing them to the side.

Simon looked around, slowly piecing two and two together, "So, what's the play?-"

Clary quietly said, joining the conversation, "Lilith is afraid of that mark on your head."

"But- it's defensive, not offensive." Simon reminded, "We'd have to get her to make a run at me, but she's smarter than that, isn't she?"

"Not when it comes to her son, she isn't." I muttered to myself and stood up, grabbing their hands and helping them both up, "Clary and I'll get her attention- Simon, you throw everything you got at Jonathan's coffin."

Simon nodded slowly as he pieced together that Lilith would make a run at him if he was near Jonathan, and quickly hid.

Clary looked at me as I nodded at her, coming into side for Lilith to see, "Get away from Jonathan!"

Lilith turned and looked at her, lightly scoffing at her, "Why would I do that?"

I pulled out my stele and put it to my neck, feeling the strap end cut into it slightly, blood becoming visible as I came into sight of her, a small smirk forming on my lips, "As I live, so shall your son."

Lilith tensed up, "You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would-" I taunted, then moved my hand to make it seem like I was about to slit my own throat, as she started to come towards me, my eyes glowing gold as my sun rune burned on my palm.

I pushed my palm out and towards her, knocking her off her feet as she grunted, "Foolish child!"

"Simon, now!-" I shouted, doing my best to keep Lilith down with my sun rune for as long as I could.

"Do it, Simon!" Clary said after me, "End this!"

Simon appeared and slammed his fists against the glass, beginning to shatter it, Lilith gasping and scrambling onto her feet when the sun rune ran out, an ear piercing scream leaving her lips, "No!"

Lilith did just as we expected her to do.

She forced herself to her feet and made a run for Simon, his mark blasting him and her back opposite ways.

Lilith fell to the ground.

While Simon felt back and fell through the window.

"Simon!" I shouted his name, starting to make a run for the window to try and catch him as he felt through the glass, the glass shattering everywhere, his body falling from the building, Clary standing in complete and utter shock.

Right as I had reached the window, a damp hand grabbed my wrist, holding a tight grip, preventing me from going further.

My head whipped around to see who had grabbed me, and when I saw the hand clutching to my wrist, my heart stopped.

It was Jonathan's.

Jonathan had been resurrected.

Lilith slowly got up, a smile forming on her lips, her skin starting to turn red, her breathing heavier.

She was about to blow.

Clary had finally gotten the courage to move, snapping back into the trance she had been in watching her best friend fall through the window, starting to make her way towards me, "Zee-"

My breathing was slow, my eyes wide at the events that had happened so quick I could barely process, as I looked from Jonathan, to Lilith, then to Clary.

I came here to save her.

My eyes started to glow gold, my portal rune appearing in front of me, ready for me to direct it.

Clary knew what I was about to do, her eyes widening, starting to run faster toward me, her voice raising, "Zee, no!-"

I pushed the rune, the portal enveloping around her, taking her with, leaving me alone with Lilith and Jonathan.

This was it.

I couldn't get away.

My eyes squeezed shut, using my arm to shield myself from what was about to happen, my heart beat racing in my chest.

Then she blew.

-

[ third person pov ]

Clary grunted as she fell onto the ground beside Alec, where Zee's portal had taken her, quickly forcing herself up onto her feet, looking towards the building she was just in, her eyes wide, her voice quiet, "No-"

Magnus looked toward her, "Where's Zee?-"

"She's- she's still up there- we have to go- we have to go up there and get her-" Clary was too worried about her sister to take note of the state Alec was in.

But, Clary was stumbling over her own feet and falling to the ground in shock when the top floor she was just on exploded into flames.

It was a enormous explosion.

And Zee was in it.

The pain in Alec's chest unbearable, and it wasn't because of the arrow that was in his chest.

It was because hearing that explosion and knowing his girlfriend was in it, felt like knives cutting through his heart.

Alec's eyes burned with tears, feeling as if he could no longer breath as he stares at the missing top floor from where he laid, still enveloped in flames, his scream echoing into the cold night, "Zee!"

Magnus was so in shock that he couldn't muster out a word, he could barely make a movement.

The only thing he could think about was that she was so worried that he wouldn't make it back, that they didn't think for a second that it would be her that wouldn't be making it back.

Clary felt nothing but regret.

Regret that she didn't understand why her sister had abandoned her in the first place.

So that they would've spent more time bonding, rather than all the time they spent arguing.

Luke and Isabelle were clueless when they heard the explosion go off, the rumbling at their feet.

They had assumed that Lilith had been defeated.

Jace, freshly back to himself after Magnus had taken out the demon that possessed him rushed to the top floor, tearing open the door to see no one, his scream echoing through the cold air, "Zee!"

There was no Zee.

Only an empty floor, surrounded by small flames from the died down explosion.

A hand gripped the edge of the building, Jace rushing to it, expecting to see his best friend but instead, he saw Simon, pulling up his traumatized friend to his feet, tears in his eyes, looking around.

"Hey-" Jace grabbed Simon's face when he tried to pull away, "It's me, it's me-"

"Where is she?" Jace breathes heavily, staring at his friend, "Where's Zee?"

"She's dead." Tears burned in Simon's eyes, falling as he had seen what had happened, "I killed her."

The truth was, everyone lost a part of them that night.

Zee held a special place in everyone's heart.

And everyone felt guilty in their own way.

Simon blamed himself for killing her.

But, it hurt Jace, Alec, Clary and Isabelle the most.

Isabelle's parabatai rune was nearly faded and she could feel her parabatai slowly slipping away.

Jace lost his best friend.

Clary lost her sister.

And Alec lost everything.

But, Zee did what she came there that night to do.

She saved her sister.

The pain in Alec's heart made him wish that all the times he's ever been upset with Zee since he's met her, he could take back.

The times he wasn't with her, he wished he held her and told her he loved her.

That he would've just listened to Zee when she said she had a bad feeling about the mission.

That someone would get hurt.

Instead of giving her assurance that it would be alright, he blamed himself for not making her stay back.

And with that arrow in his chest and convinced with the thought that he had lost the love of his life.

He had thoughts of wanting to join her.

To be with her.

Because he couldn't handle the pain.

That she was dead.

authors note:

i'm crying

i cried so much when writing this chapter, but hey it might not be crying worthy, we don't know

but, if you really wanna cry as hard as i did, listen to i ran so far away by hidden citizens !

^ trust me

i've been waiting to write this chapter for so long but now that i'm going over it, i hyped it up too much

but thank you so much for 72k !!!

go ready metanoia !

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