"No!" I unintentionally shout when Jace climbed up the walls of a building, going for the roof.

I took a step after him, realizing that I was still in heels, a fog of magic appearing around my feet, my heels turning into my normal boots.

I looked back at Magnus who was nodding towards me, as I rushed after Jace, reaching the roof right as he was looking around, trying to find a way to flee.

"Jace!" I called out to him as he spun at the sound of my voice, his teeth clenching and gritting.

He looked so sick.

Jace inched closer to me, as I held my kindjals tight in my hands, "Jace, I won't hurt you."

Jace practically growled at me, his fist flying for my face as I quickly dodged it, elbowing him in defense, trying my best to avoid using my kindjals.

That wasn't much of a problem, as Jace had quickly knocked both kindjals out of my hands, spinning me, my back hitting his chest as he had his arm around my neck, one on my head as he went to snap my neck and kill me.

I grunted and elbowed him in the face, pushing him back and spinning kicking him his jaw right after, breathing heavily.

I went to punch him, but he quickly grabbed my wrist and pulled my arm wide, punching my ribs with full force, as I stumbled back.

I groaned when his foot came in contact with my stomach, making me fall back.

My hands were firm on the ground as I forced myself up, throwing punches at him, literally out a small shriek when he grabbed my arm and twists it, using this to his advantage as he punched me a few times.

I grunted, using my foot to kick him back letting myself free, spin kicking to knock him off his feet but he quickly jumped up on the ledge, grabbing me by my neck.

A small gasp left my lips at the lack of oxygen I was suddenly getting, as he lifted me off my feet and over the ledge.

"Jace, I know you're in there-" I put my hands over his, "This isn't you."

Jace stares into my eyes and only tightened his grip.

"I'm so sorry I did this to you." I croaked out, guilt filling within me, "This is all my fault."

Jace wickedly smiled, practically laughing in my face, holding me further over the ledge.

"I forgive you, I forgive you!" I quickly said, my hands loosening around his, my voice going quieter, "If you kill me tonight, I forgive you."

Jace stopped moving for a second, just looking at me, his stare only make me feel even more terrible.

I urged, trying to get through to my best friend one last time, "Jace, I love you- so much."

Jace suddenly pulled me into him, my face inches away from his, his grip tightening around my neck, "I don't love you, not anymore."

"Jace, no!" Alec's shout was suddenly heard when Jace pulled me back over the ledge, looking back at his parabatai.

He followed to back me.

Jace smirked at Alec, before his grip loosened on my neck, letting me drop.

I stared at the dark sky, feeling myself fall.

My back hit the roof of a car, immediate pain striking through my body at the force, breaking all the windows and leaping into the sky, falling onto me.

Jace made his escape, as Alec threw himself off the roof after activating one of his runes, landing on the ground a few feet away from me.

By the time he got down, I was already drowning in my own blood, not being able to move because of the undeniable pain I felt.

Not just in my body.

But in my heart.

"Hey, hey!-" Alec was by my side, his eyes wide with fear as he observed what had become of me, "Everything's gonna be alright-"

"Zee!" Clary's distant shout filled my ears, along with rushes footsteps, her, Magnus and Luke rushing over to me.

I knew I was slipping away.

I knew I was hanging on the last few seconds of life.

But, god I just wanted to let go.

I wanted to die.

I wanted for this to have killed me.

Because I didn't think I could live on with the pain that I was the reason my best friend had subjected himself to the demon we were up against.

"Hang on, biscuit-" I heard Magnus' distant voice as my eyes rolled to the back of my head, everything going black.

-

My eyes teared open, blinking a few times to get used to the sudden light, realizing I was in the Infirmity at the Institute.

I slowly sat up, my body feeling sore.

I ran a hand through my hair, noticing I was out of my dress, less bloody, and in sweats.

I got up, walking towards the voices of my friends, hearing Isabelle speaking, "Jace is the Owl? How is that even possible?"

"This whole time, it wasn't his mental health." Alex's low voice filled my ears, "He was possessed-"

Magnus' voice followed, "By an extremely powerful Greater Demon, who gave him the ability to turn mundanes into demonic killers."

"Hey guys," I greeted my friends with a quiet, raspy voice, rubbing the back of my neck as I joined them at the table they were all crowded around, "We talkin' about the new hot topic?"

"Biscuit," Magnus noticed me right away along with everyone else, "I was just about to come check on you-"

"I'm okay." I moved my neck around lightly in hopes to cure the soreness I felt, "Just sore."

"Zee-" Alec's eyes were glued to me in concern from across the table, "You should be resting-"

All I could see was the fear in his eyes from before.

Fear that he would've lost me.

My eyes locked with his, "I'm alright."

"Zee, you were too weak to be transported through portalling, we had to call Simon to bring you here-" Isabelle told me, "You need to rest."

"I'm okay." I assured them all, "I promise."

This made silence brew between us all.

Alec stares at his hands, trying his best to keep his voice steady, "We've defeated Greater Demons before- we'll do it again and free Jace."

"This is not just any Greater Demon." Magnus set my drawing on the surface for us all to see, "Zee was able to draw an image of the beast, and it matches this image from the Silent City archives."

"The demon is Lilith, Queen of Edom." Magnus gestured to the drawing, "Adam's first wife."

Isabelle looks at him, her eyebrows furrowing, "Adam as in Garden of Eden, Adam?"

Magnus nods, "The one and only."

Simon inhales, "So- what does that mean?"

Magnus answered, "She's the mother of all demons."

"It makes her more powerful than anything we've ever encountered." Alec exhales shakily at the thought, "But of all people, why Jace?"

When silence struck, I couldn't bare the guilt I felt any longer, I could no longer keep this secret.

"Alec, there's something I need to tell you." My voice was shaky quiet, placing my hands flat on the table, preparing myself for the backlash I would receive, "There's something I need to tell all of you."

"Zee, no-" Clary's respond was immediate, knowing exactly what I was going to say, as she grabbed my arm to stop me, "You know what Jace said, he-"

"Jace is gone." I snapped my head towards her, raising my voice, "There's no other reason to hide it any longer-"

"Zee, don't." Clary was shaking her head lightly, not wanting me to get locked up, "You can't."

"What's the point?" I ripped my arm around of her grasp, looking at her with small tears burning in my eyes, my voice falling into a broken whisper, "I can't keep it from them anymore."

"Alec, what you felt that night when your parabatai rune disappeared." I pressed my hands against the table once more, looking up at my boyfriend, "You were right- Jace did die, Valentine killed him before any of us could do anything about it."

Alec stares at me, "I knew it."

Simon was confused, speaking the question that was on everyone's mind, "But- if he died, how did he come back?"

"He came back because I-" My voice got more vulnerable and weak as I came clean, a tear slipping my eye, "I made a wish to Raziel."

Isabelle stares at me, his hand slowly resting where her parabatai rune was engraved, feeling the unbelievable amount of guilt I was feeling, "You made the wish?"

"What else could I have done?" My voice pushed steady as I stood straight, looking between everyone in self defense, "My best friend had been murdered- and there was nothing else I could do-"

"I was watching Clary cry over his dead body, and I couldn't just stand there and watch her break over him- I had to do something and Raziel had already been summoned." I was stammering to put my own words into context, "It was the only way to bring him back."

I looked down, more tears slipping my eyes, "But- bringing him back to life, it- it made him vulnerable, to Lilith, to this- this beast that is powerful enough to murder Ithuriel."

Isabelle almost gasped, "What?"

Clary's eyes were wide, "Zee-"

"Because of me." I hit my palm against the table in frustration, "Because I summoned him- because I was trying to help Jace."

Clary was staring at me in slight shock and confusion, as she wasn't filled in on this either, "When was this?"

"That day I wasn't tracking the Owl with Luke." I looked at Alec, exposing another lie I had told him, feeling deep regret about lying to him, "I was summoning Ithuriel."

Something flashes in his eyes but he remains quiet.

"Alec, I am so sorry." My voice broke lightly, shaking my head and looking down in culpability, "I should not have kept this from you- especially you, and all those times I lied right to your face about it- I thought- I thought I was protecting you."

"I thought that if you knew, you'd be in just as much trouble as we were- you knowing would've risked your position as Head- and after all you've done to get to where you are- I couldn't be the reason that got taken away from you." My tone varied, "I thought I was doing the right thing- I thought I was protecting you- but, now it just all feels so wrong-"

"I'm well aware of what position this puts you in with the Clave," I inhale deeply and straightened myself up, wiping my tears, "So- if you want to send me to the Gard- I understand."

Clary shook her head immediately, "Zee, no!"

I don't reply to her, Alec shooting her dagger like eye looks, as you could see the hesitation and how clouded his mind was in his eyes.

Alec slowly walked around the table and stood next to me, as I faced him, holding my wrists together, ready to be handcuffed and taken.

Feeling his stare on me made chills run up my spine.

My heart was beating slightly faster, nervous and frightened, but prepared for what Alec had to do.

My eyes were locked with his, and I couldn't read the expression he wore on his face.

I knew he had to do it, it was an obligation.

And he was always big about rules.

Alec lightly shook his head and wraps his arms around me tightly, pulling me into his warm, loving embrace, "I would've done the same thing."

I thought he meant that if it were Jace, he would've saved his parabatai.

But, I then realized he meant if it were me.

-

"So, how do you feel?" I sat on Alec's bed, the others deciding that he and I needed a moment alone more than anymore, "Now that you know I've been lying right to your face this entire time."

"A part of me always knew you were hiding something about that night." Alec's arms were crossed, "You could barely ever look at me whenever we spoke about it- and whenever you lied, I don't know- I could just see it in your eyes. I just didn't question it."

I got up, my voice lowering at his words, "Why?"

"I trust you." Alec's eyes were connected with mine, "I knew you must've had a good reason."

My heart warmed but I still felt guilty, my eyes not leaving him, "Alec-"

"I understand why you kept it from me." Alec gently grabbed my face, holding me delicately, "You don't need to feel guilty."

My voice was quiet, "I lied to you so many times-"

"For a good reason." Alec cut me off and emphasized, "Like hell will I let anyone throw you in the Gard for the rest of your life- if I were in your position, the first thing I would've done was brought you back."

My eyes remained glued to his as I gently grabbed his wrists while he held my face, "I thought you'd be angry with me."

"How could I be?" asked Alec, "You were risking your life if you told anyone at all-"

"I didn't want to tell you because I wanted to protect you, not myself." I reminded him, my voice falling into a whisper.

Alec stares at me for a moment, before leaning in and pressing his lips into mine, the guilt I felt being overpowered by my love for him for just a moment.

-

Luke looked down as we all stood in the courtyard, "Last night Ollie's mother was found in her apartment stabbed to death."

Clary exhales deeply, looking towards him, "Luke- there is nothing you could've done."

"Wait." Isabelle cuts in, "Jace was able to reverse Morgan's possession, remember? If we can find Jace, maybe he can save Ollie."

"Iz, we tried that." I crossed my arms and looked down, "He must be using his anti-tracking rune."

"The Owl wasn't exactly shy before." Magnus reminded us, "If we were to somehow contain him the next time he makes an appearance, I might be able to relieve him of Lilith's influence."

Luke spoke the question that we all had burning in our minds, "How the hell are we gonna contain him?"

"When I took over as weapons master, I read about a piece of Clave technology that never made it into the field." Isabelle looked up in thought, "It was called the Malachi Configuration."

Alec was quick to point out, "Malachi the traitor?"

"He invented a type of cage for Greater Demons." Isabelle then added in, "Now, it's just sitting in the Alicante Armory."

I nod once, "So- we go there and we get it."

Luke looked at me in slight disbelief, "What, do you expect the Clave to just hand it over?"

"As if." I shot him a look, "Except- Imogen might."

"I mean- she's Jace's grandmother, he's the only family that she has left- there's no way in hell she's going to keep the Malachi Configuration in Clave custody if she knew it would contain him so we can help him." I reasoned, "We can trust her."

Alec nods once at my words, agreeing without any questions, "Izzy and I will go with you."

Clary places a hand on my back, "Me too."

Magnus looked down and walked away from us, "And I will go try and find a cure for Jace."

"Before the Owl got a hold of Ollie, she had a location lead." Luke looked at us, "If I can find Lilith- I can find Jace."

"Well- let's get on it right away." I nodded once, then ran after Magnus, catching up to him, "Magnus!"

"Hey!-" I caught up to him as the entrance and stopped in front of him, "Magnus."

"What a fool I am." Magnus looked at me for just a split second but long enough for me to see the guilt in his eyes, "If I hadn't given her that elixir- Jace would still be Jace."

"Magnus," I put my arms on his arms, "Lilith would have gotten to him with or without you- she would've found another way."

"You can't put this all on yourself, okay?" I inhaled deeply, my voice soft, "I'm a huge part of this too."

"I will fix it." Magnus stares into my eyes as he was swearing to me, "I will use the last drop of my power if it's the death of me."

I pushed myself to my tippy toes and wrapped my arms around him tightly, lightly tearing him, "I love you so much, Magnus."

Magnus held me tighter, and within his reply I could practically hear the deep regret and remorse he felt in his voice, "I love you, biscuit."

-

"It's wonderful to see you all, but based on this unscheduled visit, it seems that something must be amiss." Imogen greeted us as we stood in her office in Alicante, "What's happened?"

"Jace has been compromised by the Greater Demon Lilith." Clary inhales deeply, "She's controlling his every move."

"Oh, by the Angel-" Imogen lightly gasped at her words, "How did this happen?"

I took a deep breath, knowing that we couldn't come up with a good alibi, opening my mouth to speak and tell her what I had done.

Alec beats me to it, "We don't know."

I looked back at him, as he stared at me, the look he was shooting me practically screaming for me to shut up.

"If this is true- you know it will be grounds for a kill order." Imogen trails off, looking between us all.

"We believe we can cure Jace without having to alert the Clave." Alec told her, "That's why we came to you."

"If you can give us the Malachi Configuration, we can contain Jace." Isabelle said, "We can cure him."

Imogen blinked at our words, "And what do I tell Consul Penhallow?"

I trail off, "Who says she has to know?"

-

"My security clearance must be used in person via thumbprint." Imogen instructed as we walked down the hall all together.

"Well, that's a new development." Alec points out.

"When the Circle members got ousted, we increased security protocol in certain high-risk areas in the city." Imogen filled us in right as we reached the end of the hall, "The Armory is one of them."

"I didn't realize we had visitors." Consul Penhallow's voice came from behind us, making us all freeze.

Imogen spun, greeting her as she walked over to her, "Consul Penhallow."

"What brings the crown jewels of the New York Institute to Alicante?" Consul Penhallow politely asked her, looking between us all.

"Inquisitor Herondale was just giving us a tour-" The lie shot out of my mouth quickly, my head snapping towards Isabelle for help.

"Of the Armory, so I can improve the operations in New York." Isabelle finishes my sentence, giving me a sly smirk.

"What a wonderful idea." Consul Penhallow's words made us even more hesitant, "I have a few moments to spare, do you mind if I join?"

Alec jumped in for the save this time, "Actually, Consul Penhallow, I was hoping to speak with you privately."

"Of course." Consul Penhallow slowly nodded as he walked over to her, the rest of us quickly turning the hall.

-

"What kind of cage fits in a duffle bag?" I remarked almost immediately when Isabelle came out of the room, holding a duffel bag where the Malachi Configuration was in.

"I'll explain later." Isabelle put the bag over her shoulder, lightly smiling at my remark, "I made sure it wouldn't be detected as missing."

"That should keep the Clave off our backs." Isabelle began walking down the hall to join Clary at the corner, "All we have to do is find Jace."

"You know, sometimes I think it would've been better if Jace- or any of you had never met me." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could realize, my eyes widening when I realize what I had said.

Isabelle stops and looks at me, "What?"

"Iz," I stammered but it was true, "I-"

"Are you kidding?" Isabelle reaches for my hand and grabbed it gently, "Becoming your parabatai was the most prime day of my life- you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

No words came out of my mouth as I stared at her.

"Your Alec's everything- Jace's best friend-" Isabelle listed off, concerned, "How could you ever think that?"

"Jace is being controlled by Lilith because of me." I let my guiltiness show, my voice quiet but filled with pain, "You guys lost your brother because of me-"

"And we're going to get him back." Isabelle put her hands on my arms, staring into my eyes, "And then everything will go back to how it was."

I held my breath, not replying.

"You have changed our lives for the better, Zee." Isabelle squeezes my arms in comfort, "Alec found the love of his life, Jace found his best friend, and I found my other half. Don't think that our lives would've been better without you, okay?"

I tear up a little and nod my head lightly, her arms wrapping around me as I held onto my parabatai tightly.

When we pulled away, Alec and Clary had joined us, "Hey, did you get it?"

Isabelle nodded and held the strap of the bag over her shoulder, "Some assembly required, but yes."

Alec nods, "Let's go."

We quickly headed down the hell and went for the stairs when a fire message flew through the air, Alec catching it, his eyes scanning the writing, "Change of plans- Jace is here, he's in the cemetery."

I froze, "He's what?"

Clary looked back, "He is?"

"What is he doing?" asked Isabelle.

"I don't know." Alec said, "We have to get him, now."

-

"Jace!" Alec called at his lost minded parabatai in the Cemetery of the Disgraced, where he was digging up Valentine's dead body.

Jace pulled himself up and headed towards Alec who held a sword, a part of the Malachi Configuration.

And right when Alec had him where we all wanted him, he shouted in instruction, "Now!"

Isabelle, Clary and I revealed ourselves from the three corners, piercing the swords into the ground, trapping him.

Jace looks around at what he had been trapped in, "What have you done?-"

"It worked." Clary breathes deeply.

Isabelle looks up at the sound of distant barking and voices, feeling flashlights hitting us, "What do we do now?"

I swallowed, "I can buy you some time."

Alec seemed panicked, "How?-"

"I'll cover for you-" My eyes glowed gold, turning away from them, my portal rune shining in front of us and circling into a small gold portal, ready to be used, "I'll portal you guys out-"

Isabelle stepped closer, "Zee, what are you doing?-"

"Zee, no-" Clary was shaking her head in denial as the guards got closer and closer to us.

"We're running out of time-" I reached to push the portal to transport them to Magnus'.

Alec grabbed my arm and stopped me from doing anything further, "No, you're coming with us-"

"Alec, there's too much evidence." I argued with him, "They'll be putting us all on trial if there's no one here to put the blame on-"

"If we leave you here, they put you on trail, and your wish comes out." Alec's voice lowered but was stern with the argument, "I'm not letting that happen-"

"They put me on trail, the more time they spend on trying to force information out of me instead of looking for you guys!" I bursted at him.

"And what happens if they throw you in the Gard?" He was snipping back at me, in complete disagreement, "We're not leaving you here."

"Alec, there is no other option here." I seethed through my teeth; trying to pull away from his grip but he held tighter, "If you guys don't go now, they capture us all and all we've done to capture Jace'll be for nothing!-"

Consul Penhallow would damn well let Jace free, unknowing of him being possessed and he would escape.

"That isn't an option!" Alec shot back at me in frustration and anger, not wanting me to do this.

Isabelle looks between us, cutting in hopes to get our attention, "Guys, they're getting closer-"

"Alec, let me go!-" I ignored her, arguing with my boyfriend instead, trying to pull away from him, but kept a tight grip on me, "Alec!"

"I'll cover for you guys." Clary cuts in, standing behind my portal that hovered in the air, "Now, go fix him!-"

"Clary, no!-" I raised my voice, being jerked back when Alec pulled me to where I was, not letting me go any further or leave his side, as Clary pushed the portal, it opening wider and surrounding us.

The gold disappeared and suddenly, we were in Magnus' living room.

With no Clary.

Magnus looked up from where he was pouring his drink, "Well, this is certainly a surprise."

I pried myself away from my boyfriend, "Are you kidding me, Alec?"

I was angry that Clary handed herself over instead.

"You handing yourself over to the Clave was risky!" Alec didn't like that I pulled from his embrace, "You the one who the made the wish, it was only a matter of time and torture before they got it out of you, and I wasn't going to let you go through that."

"It wasn't your choice!" I snapped at him in frustration, stepping closer to him.

"Guys!" Isabelle interjected, "At least we got Jace."

Jace looked between us all, standing right in front of Alec, the only thing separating them being the Malachi Configuration, "You really think that this thing can contain me? You're even stupider than I thought."

Alec stares at him, "We're gonna save you, Jace."

"Good luck." Jace scoffed deeply, "It's only a matter of time before Lilith finds me, finds you, you'll all be dead by sunrise."

"I don't think so." Isabelle denied, "We will battle her with everything we've got, we won't let her take you again."

Jace walked towards her, "When your delusional confidence gets you killed, I'll be sure to tell your mundane boyfriend that you died in a tragic jewelry-making accident."

I sigh and walked over to Magnus, muttering, "At least he's safe from the Clave."

Magnus stares at Jace, "For the time being."

authors note:

oop- a little zalec argument, oh my

dude i am so hyped to write the next few chapters honestly, especially episode 3x10

i have so much shit in store, i cannot wait

but omg zalec in this chapter- omg the feels

and the zace feels omg

this chapter is giving me mixed feelings

but, thank you for 41k !

go read metanoiaaaa

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