My body thuds against the ground when we come through the other side of the portal, Valentine's grip tight on my wrist.

Jace jumps up, as Valentine pulled me up with him, as I was trying to get my wrist out of his grip.

"Jace-" I trail off, looking around me, noticing the caged Downworlders and chains everywhere, the place making me sick, "This is Valentine's ship."

"What did you do?" Jace's eyes were wide, accusingly turning towards Valentine, "Was I not enough that you had to take her too?"

"I was plotting on how to get her here ever since I brought you on this ship, Jonathan." Valentine admits, looking at me as if I was his big achievement, "There was a possibility that she was dead so I didn't act on it at first- but, the elixir mixed with the demon blood worked. It actually- worked-"

I rip my wrist from his grip, "Father of the year."

"You experimented on her!" Jace raises his voice, "You put her life at risk!"

"Oh, Jonathan." Valentine pulled the arrow out and waved his stele over the Iratze rune, "There's so much you two don't know."

"You set me up to kill that vampire." Jace points at him, anger clouding his eyes.

"You killed her because it was the right thing to do." Valentine puts his stele away, "The world's a safer place without that thing wreaking havoc. Would you rather turn her over to the Clave to stand trial?"

"That is my job!" Jace argues, "The Law is hard, but it is-"

"The Law." Valentine finished his sentence, "Yet the Clave does nothing, nothing to enforce that. Downworlders multiply with a bite or a scratch, while our numbers dwindle year after year."

"If we don't do something, a den like that one is gonna be on every corner on every street in the world." Valentine told him, "This is the only way. I'm sure your sister will understand."

I stay dead silent, as Jace shook his head, "You're wrong."

"Like I was wrong about your mother?" Valentine questioned, "Look, I know you even better than you know yourself."

"You-" Jace stammers, "-you don't know me at all."

"You saved my life." Valentine stepped closer to him.

Jace took a step forward, "You kidnapped Zee!"

"Regardless, you could've Portaled me anywhere, handed me over to the Clave in Idris, but did you?" Valentine stared at him, "No, because deep down inside, you know that I'm right."

-

I let out a pained grunt when the Downworlder's fist came in contact with my bare side again with full force.

I was covered in my own blood, my body sore and covered in bruises. I was hung by a chain, arms above my head and cuffed together, my jacket and shirt being on the ground as I was being tortured in just my jeans and bra.

Jace tried his best to make them stop once they got to me on Valentine's orders, but soon enough, he was hung right next to me, taking the heat also.

I didn't know what Jace was going through while being here.

Now I knew.

And I felt horrible.

My feet didn't touch the ground, due to my height, making my arms hurt even more from being hung.

I held back my scream when freezing cold water came in contact with my aching body, my eyes squeezing shut, as I heard Jace's grunts and screams from next to me.

Valentine slowly walks over to us, his eyes glancing between us both, "Enough."

I barely blink, breathing heavily, staring at the man that was our father.

He waves his stele over both my and Jace's Iratze rune, "Get dressed, we have a lot to talk about."

-

I wrapped Alec's jacket tighter around myself, as Jace and I were both shoved into the kitchen, where Valentine was stirring what was spaghetti sauce in the pot over the stove.

A piece of my damp hair fell in front of my face, as I kept a straight face, eyeing him, Jace stood next to me, holding his arm, making sure to stay next to me.

"Needs pecorino, hm?" Valentine hums after slurping a taste of the sauce from the wooden spoon, then looked at Jace, "Do you remember your fifth birthday? And I made you spaghetti? Your absolute favorite."

"Michael Wayland used to make me spaghetti." Jace stood still, staring at Valentine.

Valentine then looked at me, "You always said how bland it tasted, so I always added melted mozzarella cheese on top of yours. You could never get enough cheese- adding it made it your absolute favorite meal."

"What kind of act is this?" I questioned, my hands slipping into my pockets as I grit my teeth gently, "Why don't you just throw on Michael Wayland's face and make it just like how it was ten years ago?"

Valentine ignored my comment and held up the wooden spoon, "Just try some."

Jace scoffs in dismay, "You really think we want to have a meal with you?"

My eyes trail around the room, and landed on the knives right next to me, ones he was previously cooking with.

My hand moves, as I grabbed onto of them, moving right for Valentine, but he was quick, grabbing my wrist and aiming my throw towards the wall, the knife impaling into the wall.

Valentine held my wrist, looking at me, "Didn't I teach you not to play with knives, Margaret?"

"My name isn't Margaret." I pulled my wrist back, stepping back, and suddenly I felt a rush through my body, "It's- it's-"

I blink a few times, my sentence ending as I tried my best to calm myself, but I couldn't control it.

"Hey- hey-" I heard Jace's voice, as I screwed my eyes shut, shaking my head, gripping onto the metal counter.

I began to breath heavily, my eyes snapping open, as they were all black, the demon blood running through my veins surfacing.

Valentine stares at me, putting his finger under my chin, "Truly amazing."

I pull myself away from his touch, focusing on something other than how I felt right now, my eyes returning back to normal.

"What the hell was that?" Jace looked from me, to Valentine, "What is the demon blood doing to her?"

"Look, I know you two are full of questions." Valentine began to stir the sauce again, "So, go ahead. Don't be shy."

I stood up straight, staring at him, "What is the demon blood doing to me?"

"It's making you even stronger." Valentine stirred, "Even stronger than you already were."

"Why did you fake your death and pretend to be Michael Wayland?" Jace questioned next, staring at Valentine.

"To protect you both from my enemies." Valentine stopped stirring, "As Michael Wayland, I knew you'd be safe."

"Safe?" Jace repeats, "You made me an orphan. I spent my entire life mourning a father I thought died in front of my eyes."

I scoff right after him, "You kidnapped me- you kept me from my mother for ten years."

"I made you both stronger. And didn't I do a good job?" Valentine crossed his arms, his eyes glued to me, "Your mother tried to flee from Idris a few days after you were born- trying to hide you away from me. When I took you back- she stopped looking for you- she didn't care enough to look for you for ten years."

I shook my head, staring at him, "I don't believe you."

"Whether you believe me or not- your mother made you believe you were a mundane for eight years- she took your memories of me." Valentine spoke, "After ten years of me training you to be who you are today- she took those memories."

"I wish I never got them back." I spat at him, "I can't believe I was raised by a lunatic."

"Call me whatever you want- you'll understand soon." Valentine's patience sent me over the edge, "It made you two stronger, didn't it?"

"No-" I shook my head, "My mother made me strong. She may have raised me as a mundane- but she taught me what the real meaning of being a Shadowhunter was- even if I didn't realize it. Jace- Alec- and Izzy made me strong. They trained with me- day and night- they were there when I got my angelic rune. They're my family."

"You never made us strong." Jace was in agreement, "The Lightwoods made me strong. They took me in, they trained me. If anyone's my parents, they are."

"I had no choice." Valentine shook his head, "My enemies were closing in. I knew Zee would be cared for with her mother- so I sent you to a place where I knew you would be cared for."

"Father of the year." Jace repeats the comment that I made earlier, rolling his eyes.

"Look, we had ten years together, and sure-" Valentine inhales sharply, "I may have been hard on the two of you, but it's because I loved you both so much."

I roll my eyes, "You told us we never had mother's."

"All you've ever done is lie to us." Jace crosses his arms, shaking his head.

"What did you want me to say?" Valentine questioned, "That your mother planned on raising you without your father?" Valentine looked at Jace, "That I saved you and that your mother deserted you? She left you to die in Idris."

"What?" Jace was staring at Valentine, "Why would she do that?"

"Because you're different." Valentine confesses, "You're both different. You're special."

Valentine sighs, "Look, I know that you have always felt more powerful than everyone else around you.. That's because you are."

Valentine waves his stele over the Mnemosyne rune, grabbing both onto both mine and Jace's arm, our eyes widening at the memories shown in front of us.

One was of my mother, peacefully asleep, Valentine using a syringe to inject something into her while she was pregnant with me, another memory of the similar thing, only happening to Jocelyn with Jace.

I rip my arm from his grasp, stepping back, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You experimented on her before?" Jace questioned, pulling his arm too, "You experimented on me?"

"I made you two stronger, faster-" Valentine looked between us, "More lethal than any other Shadowhunter."

I stare at him, stuttering, "Why- why would you do that?"

"To create the perfect weapon, the ideal marriage of good and evil." Valentine explained, looking at Jace.

"A Shadowhunter with pure demon blood-" Then, he looked at me, "And a Shadowhunter with- now- a mixture of pure angel blood and demon blood."

"You-" I blink, feeling absolutely disturbed that he was my father, "You can't be serious."

"You're connected to the angels- and the demons." Valentine stepped closer to me.

I stepped back, "What kind of a father experiments on his own children?"

"A father with perspective." Valentine shot back, "We all want the same thing- to save this world from demons."

Jace shook his head, "The Clave fights demons."

"The Clave has grown soft Protecting Downworlders with the Accords." Valentine leaned against the counter, "All Downworlders, one day, will give in to their violent tendencies."

"It's unavoidable." Valentine went on, "Even a single drop of demon blood running in your veins, makes you a threat to humanity."

I cross my arms, leaning back against the wall, "I know plenty of Downworlders who play by the rules. They control their urges."

"You're thinking of Lucian Graymark, warlocks like Magnus Bane, and even Clarissa's little vampire friend Simon?" Valentine named them as if he could read my mind, "No matter how good they try to be, Downworlders cannot control their demonic blood forever."

"If that blood is so evil, why did you put it in us?" Jace looked at him, and I could see the flash of hatred and betrayal in his eyes.

"To fight fire with fire." Valentine simply said, as it was completely self explanatory, his eyes falling onto me, "It's started with you, already."

"What?" I looked at him, "What's started?"

"The rush you're feeling?" Valentine reminded me, "Your pure angel blood might be simmering down the reaction and helping you control it, but one day you break. Even you aren't strong enough to keep your demonic blood in check."

I shook my head, the truth in his words making a pain erupt in my chest, "No- I can control it. I won't let it-"

"You really think love will keep you from hurting your family and friends?" Valentine sneered, "No matter how hard you fight it, demon blood will make you kill."

-

[ alec's pov ]

My jaw clenched harder as I repeatedly punched the punching bag in front of me, panting, my arms starting to become numb, a sheet of sweat over my body.

Clary walked over to me, "Alec, are you okay?"

I lean my head against the punching bag, not even bothering to look at her, breathing heavily, "Pretty bold of you to show your face here."

"I can explain-" Clary began to speak.

"Unless your explanation can bring Zee and Jace back, save it." I punched the bag again, anger flaming in my chest at her presence.

Zee was now on that ship too.

She went after Jace.

Not only for him, but for me.

She knew how much Jace being gone hurt me, and she went after him instead of going back to the Institute with me.

I couldn't even imagine what she was going through.

I couldn't imagine what they were going through.

"Alec, I care about Zee too- okay-" Clary stammers, "Zee's my sister-"

"The sister you despised up until you realized that your mother was the one who screwed her over the most." I stopped, facing her, "Your mother took you away from her- and all you did was hurt her when she finally got you back- and now she's gone and-"

"That doesn't mean I care any less about her. She's my sister- she's my family-" Clary argues, sighing, "And- Jace is my brother, too-"

"You barely know him." I breathe heavily, "I grew up with him- I fought by his side. He's my brother- he's my best friend-"

"Alec, I want Zee and Jace back as much as you do." Clary's expression dropped, when I moved back before she touch my arm in comfort, as she stuttered, "I- I am not my mother."

"How well do I even know you?" I question in an accusing tone, "I mean, you show up out of nowhere, you convince my girlfriend- and my brother, I mean- you convince me to search for your mother. And the next thing I know, both Zee and Jace is gone. And your mother is the one trying to kill Jace- after all he's done to help find her."

"I had nothing to do with that, Alec-" Clary slightly began to tear up, "I would never hurt Jace-"

"Since you've arrived, you've caused nothing but problems." I stepped closer to her, begrudgingly, "My family lost their birthright- Izzy was almost deruned. Zee was experimented on- and now Valentine has both my girlfriend and my parabatai. And it's all because of you."

"Alec-" Clary's voice was weak and threaded in guilt, "I'm sorry."

Isabelle was now by us, and had heard it all, "Alec, this isn't her fault."

"When are you gonna realize you don't belong here?" I said in spite, "You never have."

"Alec!" Isabelle raises her voice in signal for me to stop, but I storm off.

-

[ zee's pov ]

I stood next to Jace, looking around. The prisoners clamored loudly, their cages rattling as held the bars.

My head was leaned against Jace's arm, my arms crossed, as were his.

I had not slept nor ate since I brought here.

And at this moment, it was all catching up to me.

But, regardless, I shoved the feeling deep down.

"I miss Alec." I randomly blurt out, staring into nothingness, "He was already so- out of it because Valentine had you."

"He's probably out of his mind now that you're here with me." Jace sighs deeply, "It's going to be okay."

"Jace- we have to get out of here." I sigh deeply, "Somehow- we need to figure something out."

"We can't just jump off the ship-" Jace inhales sharply, "The wards would kill us right then and there."

I looked at him, "Do you think Dot's still alive?"

"Isn't she dead?" Jace looked down at me, "Magnus said he couldn't feel her magic anymore."

"Valentine needs a warlock up his sleeve." I raise an eyebrow, "Maybe he's holding her here captive- making her do whatever he asks."

Jace gently shrugs, "That could be a possibility."

I shrug back, my sight trailing elsewhere.

A man, who looked around the same age as Jace and I, with a hard, determined look on his face.

Jace called out to him, "If you're thinking of trying to escape, don't. The wards around this ship would fry you like an egg."

"I want to be here." He looked at us, "I can't wait to get out and start killing Downworlders."

"Trust me-" Jace shook his head, "It's not as glorious as you think."

"Screw glory." He shot back, "I want justice. I lost my father 'cause of these monsters."

My mouth dropped in sympathy, "I'm sorry."

He barely reacted, "Valentine said if the Clave did their job, he'd still be alive right now."

My entire expression changed, "And you think he's in the right state of mind?-"

"I see you've met Jeremy." Valentine joins in our conversation, "The others are gearing up for tonight's mission- you should get ready."

Jace clears his throat, "Mission?"

"Part of our first phase." Valentine stood straight, "While we're increasing in numbers, we're also finding suitable Downworlders to hold on to for research. You two should join them. They could use good leaders like you."

I stare at him, "There's no way."

Jace was shaking his head in agreement, "We don't lead hunts for innocent Downworlders."

"Innocent?" Valentine repeats, "Like that vamp, Maria, who almost killed you?"

"Don't be naive, Jonathan." Valentine scoffs, "See, you were trained to see Downworlders as your allies and that I'm your worst enemy."

"You are." I shook my head, spinning around, beginning to walk away.

"Don't be foolish." Valentine catches my wrist, "I'm not asking you to do this for me. I'm asking for humanity."

I rip my wrist out of his grasp, continuing to walk away.

"The answer's no." Jace flat out said it, then chased after me.

-

I wander on my own, my hands shoved deep in my pockets.

I had left Jace upstairs on the ship, as my boots squeak against the floor from the small puddles of water, my eyes fixed on the ground, as I made my way through where Valentine had many Downworlders prisoned.

I jerk to a stop when someone I thought could only be dead stood in front of me.

"Dot-" My eyes went wide as I was just thinking about her earlier, "I- I thought you were dead-"

Her veins were showing, and they were all dark. It was from Valentine's injections.

Dot stares at me, "Zee- he's misunderstood."

My expression changed when I knew exactly who she was talking about, "He is a murderer."

"This is war." Dot inhales sharply, "I want you to see something."

I step back, "What?"

"There are things that you can do as a Shadowhunter, but there's so much more you're capable of." She told me, her hands sparking as she puts them to the sides of my head, "Let me show you-"

-

"Jace-" I rushed over to him, "I found Dot-"

"Dot?" Jace faces me, "She's alive?-"

"She wanted to show me something-" I nod in confirmation, "Jace, I-I know this sounds crazy, but I can see the future."

"No, that's not- that's not possible." Jace blinked, staring at me, "Shadowhunters can't do that, you know that, Zee-"

"Then I guess I'm not your ordinary Shadowhunter." I abruptly cut him off, "Neither are you. We were both experimented, Jace. We're different."

Jace inhales sharply, "What did you see?"

"The Downworlders-" I told him, "They slaughter the mundanes, one by one, until there's no one left."

Jace began to shake his head, as I stepped closer to him and kept talking, "With the angel blood in my system- I'm not the weapon that could defeat them- I'm weak- I'm not good enough- Jace, with your demon blood, you- you're the only one that can stop them-"

"No- you sound just like him-" Jace grabbed my arms, staring at me, "What did they do to you?"

"My children." Valentine walked over to us, "Are you gonna join Jeremy?"

I blink, looking at him, "What?"

"He's going big game hunting." Valentine informed, "We just got intel on the wolf that killed Jeremy's father- we're gonna bring the beast back to the boat."

I stepped back from Jace, hugging myself, "I'm not going-"

"Look, since Zee doesn't want to go, why don't you come along, Jace?" Valentine looked at him, "Unless, you want me to forcefully bring your sister along-"

"No-" Jace stops him, walking away, "I'll go-"

-

A loud growling makes my eyes snap open, noticing that I was on the ground, in the center, Downworlders shouting and hitting their cages in a beg to be set free.

I had no recollection how I got here.

I slowly sat up, forcing myself up to my feet, noticing Dot walking over to me, "What did you do to me?"

Dot had true guilty crossing over her features, "I'm so sorry, Zee."

"Up there with Jace, that wasn't me talking." I shook my head, "I can't see the future-"

"No." She shook her head in confirmation, "Valentine made me cast a spell on you so that you'd do as I'd say."

"Dot-" I exhale, "Why would you do that-"

"I have to do it again-" Dot began to reach for my head like before, "It wears off quickly on Shadowhunters-"

"No!" I jump back, backing away, "No- please- you don't have to do this!"

"If I don't, he'll get angry," Dot stammered and reaches for me, walking closer, "-and we don't want that."

"Dot, wait-" I grab her hands, "Do you remember the night my mom was kidnapped? I was stuck at the Institute and you could tell how upset I was over the phone-"

Her stare soften as I continued, knowing I was getting through to her, purposely messing the place she got it for me from, "I left the Institute with Alec to come see you outside- you brought me gelato from Little Italy to cheer me up- you remember- right?"

"It wasn't from Little Italy." She stared at me, her voice quiet, "It was from Rome."

"See?" I let out a sigh in relief, "You're still you- no matter what Valentine does to you. You have always been there for me."

I could hear the shakiness in her voice when she spoke, "Why did you stop looking for me?"

"Magnus couldn't feel your magic anymore." I intertwined our fingers, "We thought for sure Valentine had killed you- but if we knew he didn't, we wouldn't have stopped."

"He just experimented on me." Dot's voice fell weak, looking down.

"Dot, please-" I held her hands, "We can all make it out of here. You- Jace and I."

"You don't understand-" Dot exhales deeply, "He will find us."

"We will stay with Magnus, hide behind his wards-" I begged, "Please, Dot-"

-

"Please don't kill me." I heard a woman's begging as I walked closer to Valentine and Jace with Dot.

I recognized her. Gretel.

Jace held a blade to her neck, Valentine right behind him, urging for him to kill her.

"I've obeyed the Accords." She continued, "I'm part of Luke's pack. We don't hurt anyone- we're not like that-"

"A wolf will say anything to go free, but she can never change what she is-" Valentine pushes, "You let her live, son, and she will kill again and again and again."

"Stop-" I quickly made my way over to them, "Jace- she's telling the truth!"

"Zee, how nice of you to join us." Valentine looked at me, "Perhaps you can convince your brother to finish
what he started."

"Jace, I need you to listen to me." I stepped closer, "Everything I said before, I was under a spell."

Jace's eyebrows furrow as my eyes were glued to his, "Run-"

It was like something clicked on Jace, as he grabbed my hand, pulling me along, jerking to a stop when four of Valentine's men came marching towards us.

"Jonathan! Zee!" Valentine shouts after us, "There's no way out."

I let go of Jace's hand, as two men came over to me, the other two going over to Jace.

I spin kick, my foot coming in contact with the man's jaw, ducking when the other swung his sword at me.

The man I hit grabbed my arm, holding me for the other man to stab his sword through me.

I forcefully pull away, as the man grabbed my shirt, pulling me back, ripping half of it off in the process, as it was ripped up to the end of my bra, revealing a few of my runes.

I went to knock him in the face, but stumble back lightly when I felt the rush.

The rush of the demon blood in my body.

The man's fist came in contact with my jaw, hard, the force making me fall to the ground.

I blink a few times, the rush consuming me.

My eyes went completely back, as I spit out the blood filling my mouth.

I slowly force myself up, keeping my head down, my eyes glued to the ground.

It was like no matter how hard I tried in that moment, all the rage had consumed me.

I slowly tilt my head up, licking the blood off my lips.

All of Valentine's shouts had stopped when his eyes landed on me, fascinated and astonished.

History was repeating itself as the man grabbed me once more, holding me in front of him so the other man could kill me.

I jump onto my tippy toes, twisting my body, the man killing the one holding me instead, his grip loosening on me as he fell back.

I grabbed his seraph back, kicking back the man who had just killed his partner, piercing the blade into him, killing him also.

"Jonathan!" Valentine began to shout again, "Zee!"

I blink a few times, panting as my eyes went back to normal, the rushing feeling disappearing.

I rush over to Jace, noticing how we had taken down the two men after him also.

Jace began to run with me, but stopped, coughing, blood dripping out of his nose.

"Jace, what the hell-" My eyes went wide, "-are you okay?-"

"Jonathan- Zee!" Valentine shouted again, starting to walk over to us, "Both of you, come back here! There's nowhere to run!"

Dot moved towards the edge of the ship, using her magic to create an opening big enough for Jace and I to jump through, as she gave me a hopeful smile, nodding for me to go on.

Jace fell into me, as I dropped my blade, holding onto up, his arm wrapped around me as he leaned onto me for support, "Jace, we have to go now-"

With that, I pull him along, the both of us jumping off the ship and into the freezing ocean.

authors note:

love not being able to find an alec gif for this episode

editing update: I found a gif but it's not as good, oh well, I changed it anyway

vote and comment looaadsss