She couldn't do it. She didn't want to. Why would she want to save a man who had brought nothing but destruction to her life? And this soon to finding out what he had done? With the rage still alight and grief still raw? What kind of trial had her Rabb put her through? Why was he testing her like this? She didn't even know if she would be able to do it.

And yet here she was, getting ready for the surgery of a person she loathed.

She had begged Hassaan not to put this burden on her. Pleaded him to give the case to someone else. But he didn't listen. There was no trauma surgeon who could perform a neurosurgery this complex. And she was the most experienced of neurosurgeons in their hospital. If there was anyone who did have a chance of performing everything right, it was Layeba Hussein.

For the second time in her life, she was placed in a position where she didn't actually want to perform a surgery. In both cases, she was scared of doing something wrong. The difference was just that the first one was her first major surgery and in this one, she was afraid of her emotions taking over and ending it all.

In her heart, she knew she would never actually do it. But taking the life of her brother's murderer was all that her mind was telling her.

She doors slid open, giving her entry into the OT. One nurse put gloves on her wet hands while another tied an apron around her neck. She could see Dr. Arsam and some residents suturing the cut they had made to stop the internal bleeding. It was the final step before she were to take over.

Ya Allah! Please help me. Take these evil thoughts from my brain. Give me strength to do what's right.

She moved closer to the centre where her husband lay, tubes attached to his arms and mouth. Doctor Arsam looked at her and nodded in respect. She nodded back.

"The patient is all yours, doctor. Best of luck."

"Thank you."

He left the room. She took a deep breath.

Aoudho billahi minashaytaannir rajeem.

(I seek refuge in Allah SWT from the accursed devil.)

Exhaling, she held out her hand, "Scalpel."

Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem.

(In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.)

•~•

"You mean to tell me that the person you brought here, bathed in blood, is Yazaan. Layeba's husband Yazaan", Hassaan asked as he sat across Sanem in the cafeteria with a cup of tea in his hand.

"Yes, how many times do i have to repeat that?"

"And due to reasons very grave, which by the way you can't tell me, she hates his very existence and want nothing more than being dead."

"No! She doesn't want him dead. She's just really angry at him right now due to a misunderstanding. And the betrayal is still fresh." Hassaan took a sip of tea, unable to actually comprehend anything. "God! I can't believe you sent her to do his surgery. Even if you didn't know, you did see how emotionally drained she was. How could you entrust another life to her?"

" Yaar, you know as well as i do, it was a neurological case. And there was no one but her who could do it."

Sanem rubbed her face. "I know but. . . I wish i could go in there."

"But you can't. That'll mess up her mind. Don't worry. We know Layeba. No matter what, she never let personal grudges hinder her professionalism. Nothing will happen", Hassaan tried to be confident. But truth be told, he wasn't so sure himself.

Sanem too looked less than sure, but just to give herself hope, she muttered, "InshaAllah."

•~•

Two hours in the operation theater and Layeba was still unable to take the bullet out. As soon as she had felt responsible for another life, she had thought of Yazaan as nothing but another patient. And treated him as such, leaving all the bitterness in her heart temporarily.

In order for her to give him a chance of being healthy again, she had to very carefully remove the bullet. If he lived and stayed paralyzed, it wouldn't be a victory for Layeba. No matter how much she hated her husband, she couldn't do that to anyone.

She could feel the waiting gaze of residents on her. "Professor, it seems impossible."

She raised her head to look him in the eye. "Then you should leave the room."

"Sorry, professor", the flustered resident who had spoken replied.

"If i take it out there's a chance of nerves getting damage", she mumbled to herself. "If i go over it, spinal cord will be damaged."

All other people in the room looked at her confusedly. They had never seen Layeba this tensed and worried. Farhan asked another resident, "Is she talking to me or herself?"

"I believe she's talking to herself."

"Shut up both of you", Layeba snapped at them.

"Sorry, professor." This was not a good sign. It was not like Layeba to get this worked up during a surgery. She always avoided that, claiming every negative emotion gets them one step closer to losing their patient.

"I'm going with another incission", she announced.

This was it. She was going to remove the bullet. Bismillah!

She removed it and dropped it onto a metal plate with a clink. But the battle was far from being won.

•~•

She exited the the operation theater, feeling numb. She just saved her brother's killer. Even though his health was uncertain. For the first time, she wanted to avoid giving consolation to the patient's kin. She wanted nothing more than to leave there and just be able to breathe. But as soon as she cane out, Ozhan and Abeerah bombarded her with questions while Sanem and Hassaan looked at her cautiously.

"How is Lala?"

"Is he alright?"

Keeping her tone strictly professional, she looked at Abeerah and said, "We've done everything in our hand. Rest is upto the Almighty. He's out of immediate danger now. But his condition is extremely critical. He'll be under observation for two days. I presume Dr. Hassaan has informed you of all the possible outcomes." She waited for them to affirm the statement, which Abeerah did. "We can't say anything for sure until he's conscious. Pray for his quick recovery. The sooner he wakes up, the better. Get well soon."

She nodded once and then turned to leave. "Bhabhi!" She stopped mid-stride and swallowed. She'd tried hard to be professional, but the way he called her name, he'd made it personal. She didn't look at him. "Will he be alright?"

She looked at him.

She noticed the pooling tears in his eyes, the tiredness oozing out of his posture under the pristine clean clothes he was wearing. She could bet he had washed the blood of who knows whom before coming here. She wondered if he had helped his brother cover up the blood of her brother as well.

"Honestly?" He nodded, hoping for the answer to be 'soon' and for it to be true." I don't know. And after this point, I don't care."

Abeerah sobbed. She couldn't bear the bitterness in her Bhabhi's voice.

She was stopped the second she turned. "You promised!" She gave him a questioning look. "You promised to give him his choices. You promised you would try. You can't just give up now and break your promise."

She took a step towards him. "Can't i? Well, you guys had to rub off on me in some way. So breaking a promise won't be too difficult, would it?" Another step. "And at that point, i didn't know that he had killed my brother and lied about it to my face. So it doesn't matter, won't you agree?"

She left there, but not before telling Hassaan. "I've informed Farhan of all the tests to be done and precautions to be taken. Rest, you can figure out Bhai. I'm done here!"

•~•

The door opened with a clicked and she entered her home which glummed her mood even more. If that was possible. Contrary to how she felt, the house was bubbling with cheery laughs and playful screams.

This could only mean one thing. Shiza was back from her brother's home and the little ones had returned with her.

Something broke in the kitchen and she sighed. Then her mother's high pitched voice echoed in the house. "Iman! Isha! Out of my kitchen right now! "

She watched as they both sheepishly exited the kitchen and sat on the couches with apologetic looks.

"Mami!" Faiz squealed as he noticed her, running and wrapping his tiny hands around her legs. She tried to smile and run her hand through his head.

"Shukar Alhamdulillah, Layeba. I've been worried sick. Where were you? Your shift doesn't start until nine in the morning and here you are returning home just two hours before it."

"I was in hospital, Ammi. Where else would i go?" She was really isn't in a mood for an inquiry.

"And why was your phone off?"

"Battery must have died, i don't know", now that her mother mentioned it, she took out her phone from her bag and indeed, it was turned off.

"And your office phone?"

"I was in a surgery, Ammi", she poured water into a glass and slouched into a couch.

"Oh. You didn't mention anything about it before."

"It was an emergency, Ammi."

"Or Sanem? Why was her phone off?"

"Mjhe kya pata Ammi!", She said, irritated at the constant questioning.

(How would i know?)

"Oh! I'm sorry for worrying about my only daughter, whom i'm trying to reach for few hours now without a word." Shiza's voice was laced with sarcasm.

Great! Shiza Hussein's sarcasm is unleashed! If you think you are witty, try living with a desi mother.

"Ammi, i told you it was an emergency. Phone's battery died. I was in a surgery. Couldn't call you. I'm really sorry. Won't happen next time." She stood up. "I'm really tired, i'm gonna go sleep now." If she remembered correct, it had been two days since she slept.

"Have you eaten? Should i make something?" Shiza worriedly asked.

" No, ammi. I'll just sleep."

"Mami, where's Abeerah khala?" Anaya asked her as she was on the first step of the stairs.

She opened her mouth but couldn't decide what to tell the little girl. She could never lie. And in such a tight spot? Her tongue was bound.

"Arre haan! Where is she? And Ozhan and Yazaan?"

She looked at her mother, her head spinning and vision going slightly blurry. What did she ask again? Oh! Yes. About her brother's killer. Where was he? In a hospital bed, with his heart beating even though it was practically in her hands.

"Beta? Where is Yazaan, Ozhan and Abeerah?"

Why was her mother taking his name with such kindness? He was the reason she didn't have her son here. Oh! Right! Because she didn't know. But she had the right to know, right? After all, when she would file a case for justice, Shiza would get to know either way.

"Ammi, they're all in hospital."

"Ya Allah khair! Why? What happened?" Shiza gasped. Isha and Iman looked at her worriedly. She met their eyes and gestured at her to take the kids out in the lawn. They obliged, even if they looked they wanted to stay there.

"Yazaan. . .was shot. I just performed his surgery."

"Inna Lillah! Wo theek to hai na?! Why didn't you tell me about it before?" She bit the inside of her cheek, unable to form any words. "Layeba, wo theek to hai na?" This time Shiza asked forcefully.

(He's fine, right?)

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Shiza looked scandalous. And she had every right to be. It was first time Layeba was acting so indifferent about her patient. A patient that was her own husband.

"It means I don't know. I did everything in my stead. But i don't have superpowers. I didn't tell him to be the mafia lord that he is and play with guns. So, I can't tell the extent of damage." She was frustrated. And irritated by the concern of her mother for someone who deserved the least of it. "Whatever happens, i'm sure he deserves it, anyway", she said it under her breath but Shiza heard it. And she didn't know if she should be furious or hurt by her daughter's words.

"Layeba, why are you talking like this? What happened?" Layeba took a deep breath and looked upwards, trying to keep stinging tears at bay. Seriously, she was getting sick of the leaking eyes. "Layeba, WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?"

"More than i should have. More than he deserved. You can't expect anything more from me for a monster of a man as he is."

Shiza almost couldn't recognize her daughter. "What are talking about Layeba? I thought you were over all that. I thought you had forgiven him."

"I thought so so too, Ammi. I thought so too. But you don't know what he has done."

"What has he done?" She didn't reply. "What has he done, Layeba Hussein? I'm sure whatever it is, it does not give you the right to determine what he deserves. So i'm asking you again. What has he done?"

"Arsalan ka Qatil hai wo Ammi! "

(He is the murderer of Arsalan, mom!)

She, of all people, knew that this was the worst way to deliver a bad news. But her mother didn't looked fazed. Pain did cross Shiza's face on the mention of her dead son. But not shock, as it should have. It was as her mother already knew.

Did she?

With wetness in her eyes, Shiza asked with a steely voice, "So?"

What? Did she just say so?

"So? Ammi, i'm telling you he killed Arsalan. Our Arsalan. My brother. Your son!"

She couldn't believe her mother right now. How could she not share the hatred for that man?

"My son? Oh no! I refuse to call that vile human being my son. And killed? No. Yazaan merely freed this world from the weight of that disgusting man."

Was it her own mother saying that about Arsalan? The woman who would scold her for even talking to him in a loud voice. The venom in her mother's voice was something she had never heard. Her mother didn't badmouth anyone. And using such words for her own son? What had gotten into her?

"Ammi, how can you say all of this about your own little Arsal?"

"Little Arsal? I believe you don't know what your little brother had done. And that's because i didn't want you to know the terrible things he was guilty of. But i guess that was a mistake."

She needed to sit down. She couldn't handle the loathing in Shiza's voice. Even if it wasn't directed towards her.

"Many have died who deserved to live. And many who live, deserve to die. But your brother, Layeba? He got exactly what he should have."

She gripped the railing of the stairs, her legs not supporting her. Suddenly, she wanted to know. She was tired of all the things everyone kept from her. They wouldn't tell her anything if she didn't pry about it. Or did something horribly wrong, such as in this case.

"Ammi, tell me everything. Why are you saying like this? Tell me what did Arsal do?"

Shiza wiped her face and turned away, sitting on the couch. "It's better if you don't know at all."

"Why, Ammi!?", she took steps towards Shiza and gripped her knee, sitting on the floor. "You can't just say all this and not tell anything at all. What did Arsal do that her own mother hates her this much?! Tell me!"

"I can't even bring myself to say all of that." Shiza sniffed and Layeba hated that. Shiza had only ever cried twice or maybe thrice in front of her. And she didn't like it.

"Please, Ammi. Ab to bata hi dein! Why was there guilt in your eyes when i was wounded? Why do you always change the subject whenever i take Arsal's name? Why do you hate him so much?"

(Just tell me already.)

"After Yazaan took you to Hunza, Arsalan was arrested."

"What? Why?"

How come i didn't know any of this?

"He was caught along with few other men, escorting a truck that was smuggling . . . drugs and. . ."

Drugs. Those disgusting things again. It didn't take long for her to believe this. He'd already succummed to them once. But still she questioned herself, How did her brother got dragged into it? But even if she wanted to put blame on someone, she knew in her heart that it's ones own will that pushes him into this hell.

And there was still the lingering 'and'. Was there something even worse? She didn't know if she wanted that question answered. But still she probbed her mother, "And?"

"And the drugs were not the only that truck carried."

"So?"

"There were . . . g-girls."

Even though she was sitting, she felt as if she would fall. This can't be true. Her brother can't do such thing. But it was her mother telling her all this. A woman who never ever told a lie. Could this all be true?

She already knew what would follow next but the words were as difficult for her to hear as they was for Shiza to speak.

"They were going to be taken for p-pro-prostitution."

"A-ammi. How is this possible? There must be some misunderstanding. There would be news of it all if something as big as such had happened. And you also didn't tell me." Something. Anything. She'd give everything for it to be not true.

Her mother looked her in the eye. The faces so similar were both stained with their tears. She didn't need words to affirm that it was indeed all truth.

"Your father's friend," Shiza spoke referring to her husband's friend who was an Army General. "He kept it from getting to the media. He told me that it wasn't the first time. That Arsalan had confessed it to be his third. The girls - they were actually his university mates. The next day, he was broken out of the prison. I believe it was Shah Zaman's men. I couldn't tell you, because after only two days, my own son kidnapped me."

She gripped Shiza's hands tight. How much more could she take?

"And your own brother ", Shiza spat the word brother. "Kidnapped you. He was the reason you had to go through such trauma."

She didn't want to believe this. She wanted it all to be a hallucination. But Alas!

"I didn't want to tell you any of this. Because i knew how much this all would devastate you. I chose to protect my daughter, even if it meant i'd have to take the burden of it all by myself. I didn't want my daughter who never disappointed me, to be disappointed."

Shiza lovingly moved her hand on Layeba's head.

"But today, my love. Today i'm not so sure. You have really upset me with your words. Even if you didn't know any of this. Even if Yazaan had been the killer, i raised you to be better than this. I always taught you to be forgiving and just. But in front of me, sits a woman who's so judging that I can't recognize my own daughter."

She shook her head immediately, her words getting lost in her sobbing.

"You have really disappointed me today."

"No!", She vigorously shook her head. She heard these words from her mother for the very first time. And she didn't know how to handle the situation. How to handle herself. "I'm sorry, Ammi. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

"I'm not the one you need to ask forgiveness from."

Shiza went to her room, not being able to withstand her daughter's tears. But she knew Layeba needed time. Whereas for Layeba, she never wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. Because they always managed to swallow her. Question everything. Doubt her every action. She even started hating herself.

And that's what she did.

But in front of me, sits a woman who's so judging that I can't recognize my own daughter.

She had become judgemental. In her sub-conscience, she had always known that. But still she'd let the malice grow. She couldn't remember the time when she'd not judged Yazaan.

Yazaan.

God! What had she done! The words she'd used. They all came back to her.

Ab Chahe tumhare sab gunah tumhara gala ghont dein ya tumhein le doobein. Mjhe fark nai parta. Bus ainda mjhe apni shakal mat dikhana.

How could she be so spiteful towards someone?

Mar jao jaa kar Yazaan Ibrahim Khan.

Was it her fault he was in this condition?

Oh no! The surgery.

Ya Allah! Let not there be a mistake. Please! Let there not be any mistake done by me.

She didn't care at that time. But didn't she? She did. She cared. She just wanted to convince herself she didn't. God! This was all so messed up for her.

"Bhabhi!" "Will he be alright?" Ozhan had asked her. How he had looked so hopeful and she hadn't taken a moment to stub it. "Honestly?" " I don't know. And after this point, I don't care."

She couldn't take it anymore. She had to know he was alright.

I have to go to the hospital.

She didn't care how she looked. She just wanted to tell herself that this wasn't the day that Dr. Layeba Hussein had failed.

She started for the door but was stopped by Shiza who had come down to check on her.

"Ammi, i have to go. I - just - i - i'll talk to you later."

"Wait, Layeba!"

•~•

If anyone questioned Layeba's sanity by the way she entered the hospital, just so worked up and all over the place, they didn't say anything. She asked even before she reached the reception, "The patient with the gunshots. Yazaan. Where is he shifted?"

The receptionist didn't have to look to tell her about his whereabouts. He was the most exciting patient of the night or day. "ICU. 3rd floor, Professor."

She walked towards the elevator as fast as she could without running, with Shiza right behind her.

Please let there not be a mistake. Please let there not be a mistake.

As soon as the elevator door opened on the third floor, she sprinted out and turned right into the corridor where Ozhan and Abeerah were. They were asking the nurse to allow them to meet their brother.

"I'm sorry i'm under strict instructions not to let anyone meet the patient. His condition is critical. Please understand."

Abeerah noticed her and said, "Bhabhi", while Ozhan said nothing at all.

Without saying anything, she barged inside the ICU while Shiza hugged Abeerah, consoling her.

Inside the room, there were two beds, one of which was occupied by her husband. She didn't pay much attention to him then either. She just looked all the surfaces for his file that was supposed to be there by now.

The door opened behind her and she turned. Farhan entered and was startled on seeing her there.

"Sorry, professor. I didn't know you were here. I was just here to place the files for Dr. Hassaan."

She hurriedly took the file from him, shooing him away. He left, but not before looking at her weirdly. The only other patient she'd behaved like this about was Meerab.

With trembling hands and heavy breath, she opened the file. Not bothering with the written analysis, she held up the scan image in front of the light.

The file dropped from her hand as it covered her mouth, a sob escaping her.

•~•

Assalam o Alaikum folks! 🙋
How are y'all?

Yes, you can all praise my speedy updates.😍 Thank you. Arre arre! Beth jayein. Doosron ko b dekhne dein.

Ahmm......ziyada hi hogaya. 😬

Moving on!

How was the chapter?

So the cat is finally out of the bag. Or was it rabbit? Or rat? 🤔Whatever the phrase is. Some would comment that it was all a bit much for an 18-19 year old boy. But honestly, i had to write something really bad in order for Shiza to hate her son because we're all familiar with the fact that a mother's heart forgives anything.

Next,

What do you think is inside the report? He is very much alive as y'all can see. So, am i that cruel to...? No! No! Don't just start crying now please. It may not be what you think i'm trying to say. Please, you'll break my heart💔🥺

Why am i so dramatic today should be the real question. Honestly, it's just the high that i finished this emotional rollercoaster of a chapter.

But do u think this is emotional? Then you should check the next chapter i've stored in for y'all. I bet y'all find my house to kill me.

😉😉😉😉

Do vote and comment. And share. And those who aren't following me, please follow as well.

Thank you. 💕

That's all.

Allah hafiz🙋

Lots of Love❤️❤️❤️
Javeria.