Sorry, but not proofread. Please bear with the grammatical mistakes and point them out when you come across one. Thank you.
Enjoy reading.💞

Layeba woke up with a gasp. Her breathing was heavy, her heartbeat erratic. Sweat trickled down her forehead and her hair stuck to her nape.

Same dream. Again!

Why couldn't she get rid of them? Why was she being haunted by them? She wasn't the one to blame for any of this, yet she was the only one who would hear her baby brother's voice ringing in her ears every night, effectively depriving her of sleep.

Api, please save me! Forgive me, please!

Why would he be asking for forgiveness, should be her main question but the words save me made her think that it was her fault that he was not with her anymore.

The guilt she didn't even know why she felt, made her woozy. She clutched her head, trying to ease the nausea she was feeling.

Why can't i ever have peace? Why am i seeing the same dream over and over again? I swear i didn't want this to happen, my baby brother. I swear. I love you so much. I'm sorry i couldn't save you.

She pressed her head between her knees but sickness didn't subside. Something was different this time, though. Never had these dreams, or nightmares should i say, affected her this much. There was something different about them this time. Images she'd rather not think about again had corrupted her dream tonight.

The night before, when Ozhan had told her those things, her imagination had ran wild and i swear, our imagination can scare us more than anything in this world. And it felt to her as if the mere pictures of her thoughts and his words had been morphed into a video and played in front of her in her sleep.

Those were interlinked with the dream she had been seeing since the day her baby brother was buried six feet under the ground.

In those, she would be running in the valleys of Hunza, searching for Arsalan, following his cries without reaching her destination. He would be calling upon her, asking for forgiveness and for safety. Just when she would see him, he would fall to the ground battered with blood gurgling out of his mouth, staining his chin and clothes. She would try to run to him but would always be held back by the voice of the man who brought her in this world.

Seeing her father, she would cry out with happiness, knowing that nothing in this world could hurt her or her brother now. But Shaheed Hussain would look at his son in disgust, which Layeba always overlooked, and would grip her arms with gentle yet firm hands.

She would look back at the piece of her heart and watch as the ground behind him would spilt up, the fire that raged beneath the lands swallowing him whole. Beside the torn ground, her mother would be standing looking down in the fire with tears streaming down her cheeks but she would be making no attempt to save him nor would she be screaming for her loss.

At her feet, on his knees would be sitting Yazaan, with his head bowed down and shoulders shaking as if he were crying. He would place his palms faced upwards and she would be shaken to the core seeing blood on his hands.

Yazaan would turn his head and their eyes would clash. Instead of being captivated like she usually is by the greens of his eyes, tremors would run down her entire body. For they would not be green.

There would be fire inside them, the color of molten gold which seemed to swirl with the tears that only pooled in his eyes but never fell.

And then, she would wake up. Always. Gasping, just like she was now. But there was slight modification to the dream tonight.

Behind her fallen and bloodied brother, there was a woman lying on the ground. The blood pooled around her legs and her face was turned towards Layeba, her mouth agape. Her lips moved slightly whispering out the same words Arsalan had been yelling, yet she heard them louder than the fading echoes of his pleas.

Save them.

The moment the words reached her ears, the ground split up and along with her brother, the fire swallowed one other soul. Or at least tried to. For she ran and gripped the hand of the black-eyed man, whose face wasn't visible to her but in her subconscious state, she knew it was the one she considered her brother now.

Ozhan.

But she couldn't pull him out. She looked back, her eyes wanting to search her saviour and for him to help her save him but all she saw was Yazaan sitting in the exact same position.

Except when he looked her at her, the fire in his eyes roared out, surrounding him. The flames tried to burn him but he kept looking at her pleadingly.

How many do i have to save?

With one hand gripping the hand of falling Ozhan, she looked up at the dark sky with tears of frustration in her eyes.

Madad, ya Rabb!

And the heavens took pity on her, crying alongside her. But before she could see the rain of mercy sooth the raging fire, she passed out.

And woke up in this world.

The food she had gobbled last night came rushing up, and she barely made it to the toilet, crawling on her knees when her gut emptied itself.

Her hair were dirtied in the vomit but she cared not for her head felt as if it would split in half. Her eyes teared up and she sat there, dry heaving in the bowl.

After a moment, she stood up on wobbly legs and stumbled into the shower cubicle and started to wash the filth off her body. The cold water froze her to the bones but she stood underneath it hoping for the headache to subside.

"WHAT DO THESE MEAN!?"

She screamed out. And without warning, she started crying. The running water muffling her sound. She cried for her loss. She cried for her mother's loss. She cried for Ozhan's loss. She cried for the loss of Abeerah and also for that of Yazaan's. She cried for Meerab's departure. But most of all, she cried for herself. How the strong, independent doctor had become so miserable. How her life had taken a turn of three sixty.

And tonight, she didn't have anyone to blame. Whom could she blame? Ozhan? That man himself was more miserable than her. He wanted nothing else than peace. Yazaan? That man was burning in the fire created by his grandfather and fueled by himself. Abeerah? She didn't even know half the dilemma Layeba was in. How could she blame them?

Then who was to blame?

Her fate?

And with that realization, she started shivering. The tremors were so hard, she couldn't control herself. Cutting the water off, she dried herself and hurriedly clothed.

Wrapping a stole around her head, she spread a prayer mat and started to pray. In the prostration, the tears started to fall again.

How could i ever think like that? Hopelessness is infidelity. How could i ever lose hope? How could i even think of blaming my fate? How could i even question the path my lord has designated for me?

Again, she asked for forgiveness and help over and over again.

Ya Allah! I know you're giving me signs to do what is right through these dreams. You guided Ibrahim A.S by showing him the way three times in his sleep. But my Lord! I'm too weak to comprehend what they mean. I haven't the faintest idea what i must do. I know there are secrets hidden in them. I know there are answers lying them. But what are they? How can i know?

With tears on her face and pleas on her lips, she fell in a sound sleep, just like she always did.

•~•

The ringing of her phone woke her up. She stood up and grabbed her phone, checking the caller id.

Sanem.

Ofcourse! Who would call me this early in the morning?

The last of the Fajr's prayer, echoing in the entire city, died down and an eerie silence spread all around her.

Until, she answered the call with an, "Assalam o alaikum."

"Wa Alaikum Assalam. You alive?"

She sighed. "No, tumharay hone wale shohar ne meri qabar main phone ke saath saath net bhi lagwa kar diya hua hai. "

(your husband to-be has arranged for a phone and network in my grave.)

"That was a very old and dumb joke."

"Ask me lame things and get lame in return. What happened?"

"Woh. . . come and open the door. I didn't want to wake everyone else."

"Fine! I'm coming."

She hurriedly went and opened the front door to her very tired friend.

"Did you shift here without me knowing or what?", she said locking the door again and following her to her room.

"Yaar. I forgot my keys at home and you know bhabhi won't ever open the door in these hours without brother being at home and he's abroad for the week." Sanem threw her bag and coat on the floor and crashed on Layeba's bed.

"Achi baat hai. She shouldn't. Would be a lesson for you not to deliberately schedule a surgery for the night and to forget your keys."

Sanem lived with her only brother and sister-in-law in Lahore. She lost both her parents in the earthquake of 2005 in Muzafferabad. The reason they both were alive was because they were in Islamabad with their aunt. When they returned to their home, the only thing left was nothing but the ruins of the place she once called home, taking away all the things related to her parents, and the only thing she could hold dear to her were the memories and her elder brother.

When Layeba saw Sanem dozing off, she slapped her leg and said,

"Namaz to parh lo pehle."

"Maaf hai mjhe", came the reply.

(Offer prayer first . . . i'm spared_meaning she got her periods.)

She shook her head and prayed Fajr. After that, she laid on the bed beside Sanem but sleep refused to abide by her wishes. Sanem opened an eye and saw her friend in such dilemma. She sat up, with difficultly might i add, and said, "Shoot."

"Huh?"

"I was gonna ask you when i was sane about why you look like a dead horse. But your distress won't let me sleep, so tell me what it is."

Now, who was Layeba to let her friend's great sacrifice go to waste? She told her everything. Without missing a single detail, with no fear of being judged. Just how it should be among best friends.

The second she stopped talking, Sanem slapped her. It was hard but not harsh. Does that make sense? The kind best friends sometimes need to and should. The one filled with warning but also tons of concern. She rubbed her flaming cheek, looking at Sanem with eyes filled with sadness which turned to hot tears. Again.

"You've been bottling up so much for the past whole month now! And you didn't tell any of us. Are you insane?! Or do you wish to become one?"

Layeba shrugged, not knowing what to say. Sanem gathered her in her arms, hugging the life out of her.

"You know what that means, right?" Sanem asked, referring to her dreams.

"Do you think i would be this puzzled if i did?"

"You're so stupid sometimes, i wish i could throw you off a cliff."

Layeba glared at her, which had absolutely zero effect on her.

"Do you know what i understood from all this?"

"What?"

"That first, you have to let go of all the resentment you feel for the Khans. Then, you have to try to help them. I think Allah has decided to guide them to the right path through you."

Layeba began to think. It made sense to her. It all did. If she didn't linger on the minute details.

"You think you can do that?"

Layeba nodded slowly. She was ready to let it all go. What good was it all ever doing for her? Only corroding her from the inside. She would try to bring her husband back to life. After all, for her to accept him as that, she had to help him heal first.

Because no matter what anyone says, she was not the one to settle for the ruins of someone when she knew they had potential to be better.

Sanem laid down with a smile on her face, which made her smile as well.

"There's one more thing."

"There's even more?" Sanem groaned, raising herself on her elbows.

"I'm taking on my old job."

"Good." Sanem smiled sincerely at her, but then fell back and covered her head with the quilt. "We'll celebrate when i'm not dead."

She finally felt some peace. And she was greatful for that.

There was just one tiny thing. Those minute details she didn't linger upon? Those held the reason for it all to disappear in a single poof!

The reason for Yazaan's guilt.

•~•

"Beta, i wanted to talk to you about something", Shiza said to Yazaan during breakfast, halting his activity and making him wonder what she could possibly want to talk about.

Is she going to tell me to leave her daughter alone? Please, Aunty. Don't do that. I can't live without her.

He looked at Abeerah, hoping she would know what it was about but she too looked confused. Abeerah looked at Shiza and the comforting nod Shiza gave her informed of what she was gonna say but it didn't ease Yazaan's worry.

His tongue felt heavy, as he asked, "yes, Aunty. Go on."

"I want you to give your sister permission to complete her studies here in Lahore."

Wait, what?

He looked at Abeerah and she looked at him with big anxious eyes. The eyes which were so like him and the ones he was beginning to hate, the more he saw himself with Layeba's eyes.

"But how is that possible? I can't leave her alone. I won't allow her live in hostel again." He remembered what had happened the last time. She was kidnapped from the hostel in broad daylight. And even though the outcome of it was pleasant, he wouldn't risk her life for anything. Ever.

"Where is she living now? Is this a hostel?"

Now i see where my dear wife gets her sarcasm from.

"But, it would be a trouble for you. I can't impose my responsibilities on you."

What am i even saying?

Shiza was thinking the same thing but she decided to remain polite. "It's not imposing if i am asking you to let her stay here myself."

"But-"

"Look, son. Stopping your sister from getting education is the worst thing you could ever to her. And i'm sure you want only best for your sister."

Are mothers always this persuasive or it's the charm of my mother-in-law only?

He looked at Abeerah and she returned the gaze with so much hope in her eyes that he couldn't refuse, even if he wanted to.

"Okay. You can stay here."

Abeerah jumped up on her seat and hugged him tightly, spilling the contents of glass on the table.

"Oops." Abeerah looked at him apologetically and started wiping the water on the table, making a mess on the floor as well.

"Leave it. I'll deal with it later." On Layeba's voice, Abeerah looked back and saw her coming down the stairs. Abeerah literally ran to her, unable to contain her excitement, and hugged her from side, wrapping her hands around Layeba's shoulders tighly.

"Bhabhi! I'm going to continue my studies. Here! Oh, i'm so happy!"

Her shrill voice made Layeba wince a little but then she patted her Abeerah's arm, chuckling at her contagious happiness and remarked, "i can tell."

Abeerah left her and they both sat on the chairs, with Abeerah sitting beside her brother and Layeba accommodating the one opposite him.

She could see him visibly trying not to stare at her, at which a smile threatened to break on her face, causing her to bite her lip. It felt nice. Letting go of the hatred in her heart and seeing the man who was apparently her husband in another light.

But then, she looked at Ozhan and got confused. Why was he sitting there with his fists closed and jaw clenched, glaring at Yazaan? She had a distant idea but she didn't have means to confirm it.

"Layeba, Hassaan's and Sanem's wedding has been scheduled for next month. I need your time for the shopping."

She snapped her head towards Shiza. "Next month?! What was the hurry?"

"Your Mumani wanted to see her son married as soon as possible."

"Why am i the last to know?" It was her best friend's and her brother's wedding. She should've been the one to even decide the date!

"You're not the last one, Bhabhi. We came to know just now", Isha joked but concentrated on eating when Yazaan showed her his eyes, asking her to stay out of their matter.

Ignoring the interruption, Shiza said, "You and Sanem will go for dress shopping within this week. Decide whatever suitable's for her."

Ouch! This is what unemployment ke taane feels like?

"Suitable for her, Ammi? I'm rejoining the hospital today. My schedule matters as well", she said a little smug. She knew her mother would be ecstatic hearing this.

As expected, nothing could contain the joy Shiza felt in that moment. She was on cloud nine. Her daughter was finally getting on with her life. The life she felt was disrupted because she became a liability in her daughter's life.

"MashaAllah. You've made the right choice." Shiza patted her hand which was resting on the table and a serene smile graced her beautiful face.

Layeba smiled back. "Jee. Isi liey ab mere paas bhi itna time nahi hoga. Aj ka din kuch free hai. Magar aap ki hone wali bahu uper gadhe ghore bech kar soyi hui hai or mujhe nai lagta ke aaj uska uthne ka koi irada hai kiun ke hospital se chutti le kar i hai."

(Yes. That's why i might not be much free from now on. Today was a bit free. But your to-be daughter-in-law is sleeping soundly upstairs. And i don't think she has any plan of getting up because she's taken leave from hospital today.)

"Chuglian thori kam kiya karo Layeba! You trying to turn my future MIL against me?"

(Backbite a bit less.)

Sanem descended the stairs with sleep deprived eyes and creased kurta and sat beside Layeba.

"When did you come, beta?" Shiza asked, placing an omelette on Sanem's plate.

"At dawn, i think." Sanem replied, taking a bite.

"Sanem ki bachi! We talked for so long in the morning and you didn't tell me anything!" Layeba looked at her accusingly.

"Hum tumhare rone jo sun rahe the."

(We were busy hearing your cries.)

Sanem had said it jokingly but Shiza asked seriously, "What cries?"

Layeba shoved a bite in Sanem's mouth warning her not to mention anything to Shiza. She knew she'll worry unnecessarily. Fortunately, Abeerah stole the spotlight and told Sanem, "I'm going to continue my studies, Sanem Api! Here!"

While Sanem gushed over the fact with Abeerah and congratulated her, Ozhan pushed his chair back noisily and left there without any word, leaving everyone wondering what his deal was.

Except for Layeba who thought,

Yup! Definitely what i thought.

•~•

Yazaan gripped Ozhan from the nape of his neck and made him stand up. The chair he was sitting in fell down but the lush grass in the lawn quietened the noise. He felt it a disrespect towards his mother-in-law when Ozhan left like that and he wouldn't repeat the mistake again nor will he allow others to disrespect anyone Layeba holds dear to her.

"What was that inside, huh? What has gotten into you? Why are you behaving like this?" he growled, controlling the urge to yell.

"What has gotten into you, lala?!"

"What the hell are you talking about? What have i done?" He knew Ozhan was never the one to put blame of his actions on someone else, so if he said that, there would definitely be something he'd done that infuriated him.

"One whole year! You allowed her to stay here for a whole fucking year! How could you do that to me?"

And suddenly, it all made sense.

To him and to Layeba who had followed Yazaan outside to talk to him. Well, it was already pretty clear to her before and if she had any doubts, those vanished too.

"What was i supposed to then, huh? This is what she wanted. Didn't you see? How happy she was?"

"As if you've always taken that into account."

That was enough for Yazaan to grip his brother's collar. He had always cared about her happiness. Always prioritized it. He might be blinded by his revenge and may have sometimes overlooked the fact that she was unhappy but again, it wasn't intentional. It was never intentional.

He brought Ozhan's face closer and hissed, "Don't you dare speak to me like that. How can you speak of her happiness when you've been always miserable yourself? Aren't you always too busy wallowing in self-pity about how she doesn't love you when you haven't even expressed your feelings to her? How would a miserable man see happiness around him? Even if it's of someone he loves, huh?"

Ozhan didn't know what to say. He knew he had crossed lines. And he also realized that on some level, Yazaan may be right. Not wanting to dwell on what he said, Ozhan freed himself from Yazaan's grip and said,

"If she's staying here, then i am too."

Before Yazaan could refuse, Layeba made her presence known by saying,

"No, you will not. At least not in this house."

Both men turned towards her and she shrugged. Ozhan snickered, "I think you should learn that it's bad manners to eavesdrop, Bhabhi."

"Last i checked, this was my house. And i could go anywhere i want. And for your information, eavesdropping would be if i hid somewhere and listened to what you were saying. I was standing here in plain sight all along and you guys weren't exactly quiet. I won't be actually surprised if Abeerah heard it too."

Blood drained from Ozhan's face and he snapped his head at the french doors to the lawn, actually fearing that Abeerah would be standing there.

"She's not at home", she relieved him.

"Where is she?", asked Yazaan.

"She's gone to the university with Sanem." Yazaan nodded.

"You know it might come as a shock, but for once, i think i agree with this brother of yours", she said casually, picking the fallen chair from the ground and placing it correctly.

She was right. It was a shock. But a pleasant one. It made the hope in Yazaan's heart bloom. Maybe, just maybe there could be a chance that she'll understand why he did what he did. Maybe she'll agree that it was the only way?

She looked Ozhan dead in the eye and said,

"Before thinking of someone else's happiness, you need to be happy. Love is sharing happiness. How can you share something you don't even know you have?"

When he didn't say anything, she said softly, "i think it's high time you tell her. You'll both be happy then. And then you can share it too."

"I know she doesn't feel the same."

Yazaan raised his hands, frustrated. When will this man ever learn? He thought. He'd been trying to convince him to tell her all along but he would always say the exact same line. At this point, even Yazaan needed him to confess. Maybe she'd be able to drill some sense into him? He might be the only brother who wants his sister to love a man romantically. But if Abeerah was his sister then Ozhan was also more than his brother. And he couldn't see him suffering any more. Because of his choices, both their happiness had been compromised but no more. Not if he could help it.

"How? How do you know that? Have you asked her?"

Again, no words.

"And even if she doesn't, at least you wouldn't regret that you didn't say anything. What do you have to lose?"

Truly. What did he have that he could lose? He couldn't think of a single thing he possessed that he could ever lose.

Not wanting to hear any more of her, he turned to leave.

"And maybe -"

His feet stopped on their own.

"Maybe she'll learn to love you too."

He looked at her curiously, even Yazaan did. Love wasn't something you could choose. It chose you. It couldn't be forced.

"Love isn't a choice", Ozhan stated.

She smiled. "It can be. Love can be a choice when it's the only option you have."

Both of them looked at her as if she was nuts. She would've looked at herself the same way. She would've even laughed at herself. How would she ever know? But if it would convince Ozhan to confess, she was ready to say anything.

But it wasn't nonsense to Yazaan. He wondered if she believed what she was saying. If there was ever a chance for it to be true, he wished that he lucked out.

"This . . . is too much to take", Ozhan again began to leave. But his stride again halted when Layeba said her final words;

"Tell her, Ozhan. What's the point of burning if the one you're burning for doesn't even know?"

Now, many people would argue with her here and signify how pure and beautiful unrequited love is. It is. She didn't deny that. But she believed a person ought to tell his lover first about his love. Then, if the feelings aren't returned, and he still continues to feel the same, now that's some strong emotion. And she respected that. But if a person never expresses how he feels in fear of rejection, that's cowardice. And love doesn't make you a coward. On the quite contrary, it is the strength of everything.

"Best of luck", she whispered. She hoped persuading him to tell her was the right thing to do. After all, she had decided to try to save him.

And then he was out of both their sights.

She exhaled.

Did i really just say all that? Phew! I just hope it gets through his thick skull!

She turned to look at Yazaan, who was looking at her whole this time, and wondered how to say what she had come here to say. She cleared her throat breaking his reverie and said, nervously might i add,

"Can we talk?"

•~•

Assalam o alaikum guys! How are you all?💜

How was the chapter? I hope you guys liked it even though it wasn't proofread, cuz i knew i would remove half the chapter if i reread it. 🙈

I would like to ask something from you guys. Rank these side characters from best to worst of your liking. (I already know Ozhan would be best for many, but anyway😁)
Abeerah, Ozhan, Sanem, Shiza, Bi Jaan.

Shall i give you precap of the next chapter? 🤔

Let's just say, it's the chapter before the prologue scene. 😁😁

I would like to really apologize for my uneven updates. I swear i'm trying. But i'll try harder, inshaAllah.

Please vote⭐ comment🖋 share📨 and follow💞

Take care.
Stay blessed.
Lots of love❤❤❤
Javeria