Hey! How are you all?
Yes it's an update, don't worry. I just wanted to dedicate this chapter to someone today. I normally don't do dedications as each of my writing is dedicated to each one of my beautiful readers. But today, i wrote the chapter extra long because of a good friend of mine, TheLostMe_09
Happy Birthday, dear Melanie.❤❤❤ I know this isn't much. But i could only do this. May this day be filled with lots of love and happiness and sunshine😘 I'm not a master of words like you so i don't know what to say but Thank you for always supporting me and helping me whenever i asked and even when i didn't voice it out❤❤❤ you're a true gem😍 and my mind is out of words.
Many many happy returns of the day. Love you❤❤❤

Enjoy.

•~•

"What are you guys doing here?"

Her question was royally ignored by both of them. Well, not technically, since Isha decided to get her reply in before the joke was dead.

"She did cry, Lala. You don't remember but she did. A potato like you was born. Of course she had to!"

"Ha ha. Aren't you becoming a Lahori!", Ozhan retorted, side-hugging her awkwardly with the crutches.

Pleasantaries were exchanged between the siblings, the kids jumped at their mamu's and they both were seated on the couches. All this time, she was still looking at them inquisitively.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Oh! Ever heard of a surprise, Bhabhi?", Ozhan sassed.

She was about to retort when a voice spoke from her left, startling her. "Now you know what i feel talking to you."

Turning to look at Sanem, she asked, "And what are you doing here? You were leaving!"

Shrugging, Sanem replied, "I can stay for a few more minutes. Won't want to miss the fun."

Looking at her in disbelief, she shook her head. "What fun are you talking about? We aren't going to air Comedy Nights here!"

Interrupting their hushed tones, Ozhan said in an amused voice, "I get it that you're too happy to see me alive but i think you should wipe your tears now."

"This is the fun i'm talking about."

She glared at Sanem and replied to Ozhan, "And i think you should shut up!", even as she rubbed the moisture out of her eyes which had gathered during the movie.

"Oh Come on, Bhabhi!" He turned to look at the movie they were watching. "Lion king? Really? I think you should stop watching these now. You're past that age."

"He did not just say that!" Sure, Layeba was possessive about her Disney but Sanem surely would've killed Ozhan, had Layeba not said something.

"And i think you should get lost!"

"And i think you should all leave here if you're going to continue this 'i think' game!" They all looked, shocked, at Omer who was too engrossed in the movie now. The reason they were shocked was Omar was the quiet one. He got along with everyone but he didn't speak much. Not unnecessarily anyway. But guess, speaking up to watch his favourite movie peacefully was not speaking unnecessarily.

Layeba looked at Sanem almost accusingly and said, "Did you add something in the food?"

"Why?", Sanem asked confused.

"Something's happened to all of them. They're not acting like themselves."

"And you're acting like a drunk!"

"No! I mean, you're all talking so. . . sarcastically today."

Sanem burst out in laughter. "Did you finally lose the last of your brain cells?" Layeba slapped her arm and glared at her, at which she forced herself to stop laughing. "You mean they're all talking like you!"

"Exactly!", Layeba exclaimed in a hushed tone. "And it's not a fun feeling!"

"I know what you feel. The world really does not need more Layeba's in it.", Sanem mock shuddered. "Seriously though, Unemployment is getting to your head, idiot. And i don't think i want a dumb friend!"

Just then, Shiza came in to check who came to their home. Both men stood up and said Salam while Layeba murmured; "I don't remember them ever being such gentlemen."

"I agree. I'm surprised they can even greet someone without violence."

"Way to convince me of giving him a chance!"

"What are you two doing standing there? Go bring something to eat", Shiza ordered both of them.

Layeba stood there watching her mother. She thought her mother hated Khans just as much as she did. But here Shiza was asking her to serve them. Or maybe she has finally accepted Yazaan as her son-in-law.

Damn a Lahori's hospitality! Not really. But i am yet to accept him as my husband and here she's already made amends with that fact.

"Arre, Aunty. I have to leave now." Layeba glared at Sanem, who was going to leave her friend now. "Layeba will bring the snacks, i'm sure."

"Yes, Ammi. I will." If looks could kill, Sanem would've still been on the face of this earth, to be honest because Layeba looked like an angry Tweety then, especially with the yellow hoodie she was wearing.

"Arre no Bhabhi! Why will you? You shouldn't work too much. I'll bring it." Bless Abeerah! She stood up and asked the brothers, "Lala? Ozhan lala? Would you both like coffee or tea?"

"Sheesha ho ya dil ho, akhir toot jata hai!" Sanem sang cracking Layeba up.

(Whether it's a glass or a heart, it breaks at the end.)

Ozhan looked at the duo who were busy chortling in a corner. He couldn't comprehend why Sanem would sing that song randomly. He thought back for a second.

Does she know?

One look at his bhabhi and he knew! He narrowed his eyes and replied "coffee" to Abeerah. Layeba also could guess what Ozhan was thinking by the expression, which was unreadable for others,  on his face and in reply she just shrugged.

"Acha chalti hun, duaon main yaad rakhna!" With that, Sanem left, leaving Layeba and Shiza shaking their heads at her silliness.

(Now i'll take my leave, remember me in your prayers.)

All this time, Layeba could feel the weight of a stare that seemed to burn holes in her cheek. The green orbs wanted nothing except for her chocolate ones to bless him with just one glance. He hated himself for how miserable he had become in just a matter of weeks. And here she was, not even giving a damn about his presence.

If only he knew that it cost all the power she had just to keep her eyes at anywhere but him.

•~•

He entered the guest room in which Abeerah used to stay but was now given to both of them for however long they were going to stay. He sat on the bed with a thud, putting the crutches against it. It was really tiring walking with these and in his view, it gave him more aches than the injuries themselves.

He was so exhausted at this point that he didn't even bother changing his clothes and laid on the bed. But as soon as his head touched the pillow, something hard poked his neck.

He raised his head to check what it was and it turned out to be a diary. A journal, to be precise, with floral hard cover. Now, everyone knew Ozhan didn't have basic manners enough to not invade anyone's privacy and with the name of his lover Abeerah imprinted in metallic gold on the front, he didn't waste a second in opening it from the bookmark.

The last entry was written the day before yesterday. Before reading it, he took his time in appreciating the beautiful cursive writing which adorned the pink floral bordered pages. He imagined the long, slender fingers that must have touched these lucky pages. How he wished to hold those fingers, never to leave them ever again. Ah! Longings and desires.

I'm really happy today, he began reading. No, i think happy is not the right word. Content, i think. Satisfied. Because i finally see the light. I finally have hope that there could come a day when i'll have my family with me. In all true meaning. No matter how dim that light is. It doesn't matter how its flickering. It's there. And it's enough to make me the happiest girl on this planet.
            Layeba Bhabhi is really nice. Beyond words. Yes, she's flawed as well. Who isn't? She's short-tempered. Sometimes blunt. And a lot of judgemental. But her biggest flex is that she always realizes her mistakes and when she does, she doesn't waste any time in apologizing. And the way she's resolute and determined, i have started to develop faith that i can and will have my big brother with me once again.
            The one who gave me piggy rides and teased me beyond limits and didn't hesitate in showering the love he felt for everybody. I miss that brother of mine. So damn much. I wish one day i'll wake up and all these past ten years will be just a bad dream.
           And i know bhabhi can do just that. It's selfish of me, i know, to wish for her to make everything better when she's gone through so much because of us. But that's why she's so nice. She's thinking of giving Lala a chance. I heard her while she was talking to Shiza Aunty. Yes, it's bad to eavsdrop but i couldn't help it. And i'm so glad i did. Because i know, if she has decided that, then my brother will be with me sooner rather than later.
         I just wish that Lala doesn't do anymore stupidity and doesn't hurt Bhabhi. Because right now, she is our only light.

He didn't know why his eyes were moist at the end of it. But they were. And he didn't bother wiping them. On one hand, he was happy for his love was happy and he had a small hand in it. But on the other, he felt helpless as he couldn't do anything to fulfill her biggest desire.

He turned the pages of the diary. His foolish heart had hoped that maybe what he felt for her was mutual and she had written about her feelings in this diary but after turning almost every page, he couldn't even see his name written once in the diary.

He put it back in its place and stood up. Not bothering with the crutches, he limped towards the kitchen to get a glass of water, for his mouth was suddenly too very dry.  His disappointed soul hadn't even noticed the jug full of it on the side table.

If only he knew where she had written his name.

•~•

Layeba started massaging her shoulders and rolled her head backwards. She was revising and reviewing her knowledge, wanting to keep it up-to-dated and fresh. But the continuous bent position was becoming too noticeable now.

She looked at the clock and it was two in the morning. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep as she had woken up too late. This unemployment had really messed her mind and schedule.

She grabbed her water bottle but it was empty. With a sigh, she left her cozy place in bed and went to refill it. She was just about to go downstairs when she saw the door to room at the far end was ajar. She had an idea about who could go in that room as everyone else was prohibited, but still the house was way too much crowded and she didn't want to risk it.

Her idea was correct. Shiza sat in her husband's chair with his uniform in her lap. Her head was bent low but there was no mistake that she was crying with the way her shoulders shook.

Layeba decided to leave her there because she knew how important it was to sometimes cry our hearts out. But her words stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Please forgive me Hussain. I've failed you. I've failed you, our daughter - I've failed myself. I wasn't able to raise our son better. I wasn't able to stand up for our daughter. I wasn't able to ensure her happiness. I wasn't able to do anything. Please forgive me."

Layeba's heart bled for this strong woman in front of her who made her everything that was today. Not being able to control herself, she went inside and sat on the floor at her feet.

She touched the army uniform briefly, but that alone was able to fill her heart with pride and all the courage she could ever need. She grabbed her mother's hand and kissed it repeatedly. Neither cared that it was getting wet and not just by her tears.

"You didn't fail us, Ammi. You didn't fail any of us. You can't. There's not one possible scenario in this world where my mother could disappoint anyone. You couldn't do anything in these past circumstances. None of us could. It was all a part of Allah's plan. See, you always taught me this. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. And this too was planned by the best of Planners. You'll see. Everything will turn out so beautifully. And if happiness is written in my fate, then i will be happy no matter what anyone does.

"And i promised you, didn't i? That i will do everything i can to make things better for myself." Shiza nodded at that. "Then have faith in me." She sat a bit straighter and said in a tone of an on-duty army officer. "Main General Hussain Shaheed ki beti hun, sir! Main apne waade se kabhi peeche nai hat'ti, sir! Isi liey aap itmenan rakhein, sir or apne aansu saaf karein. Aap rote huey bilkul achi nai lagteen sir!"

(I'm the daughter of General Hussain Shaheed. I never back away from my promise. That's why be satisfied and wipe your tears. You don't look good while crying.)

Shiza cracked at that and Layeba relaxed, wiping her mother's tears with her dupatta. "Don't blame yourself like this please, Ammi. That's when i lose faith in myself."

"Allah tumhain duniya jahan ki naimaton or khushiyon se nawaze mera bacha! Or tumhara sar humesha fakhar se yoonhi buland rakhe." Shiza kissed her forehead, making her close her eyes and soak all the love her mother was showering on her.

(May Allah bless you with all the blessings and happiness of this world and always keep your head high like this with pride.)

"Acha now. Get up!" She stood up, taking the uniform with the most gentle touch and placed it in cupboard after kissing it for the last time and helped her mother up.

When she had tucked her mother in, she closed her room's door and stood outside supporting herself against the wall. She looked up, and sighed, a tremble running in all her body. She swallowed and prayed to her Rabb.

Please give me courage, my lord!

She went to the kitchen, now to make herself a cup of coffee. She grabbed a cup from the stand and placed it under the coffee machine. Grabbing a glass, she fill it with water and - spilled it when she jumped high on hearing Ozhan's voice suddenly.

"Kitna royein geen ab aap?"

(How much more will you cry?)

He was standing against the wall by the door, that's why she didn't notice when she came in.

"Allah! Ozhan! Tumhare bhai ne jo aj tak dhamkaya hai us ko sach karna hai kya tumne?", she exclaimed with a hand on her racing heart. "Jaan lo ge kya ab tum meri?!"

(Do you plan on acting on your brother's threats now? Will you take my life?)

"Oh no, bhabhi! Why would i take your life? I actually owe you mine now", he said, taking a seat.

She took a swig of water and replied, "Yeah and that worked pretty well before when you owed me Abeerah's, right?"

He ignored her statement and fired at her, "You didn't do good, by the way." He narrowed his eyes at her.

"What?" She gave him full competition, even though she had no idea to what.

"Ap apni dost ke saath meri chugli karteen hain!"

(You backbite about me with your friend.)

"Yeah, like you don't run to your brother with everything", she retorted, knowing full well what he was talking about. "Anyway. I'm going." She took her coffee mug and stepped forward.

"If you want to stay alive, wanna hear an advice?", he said to her back.

She turned and gasped, "You're threatening me again!?" She was more incredulous than furious this time.

"No no! I'm genuinely giving you an advice." He looked horrified at the mere thought of it. "I was gonna say, don't go outside. In the lawn. 'Cause my brother would've emptied an entire box of cigarette till now. And you know, since you're allergic and all."

"Oh! Tell that brother of yours to never bring that evil in my house ever again, else don't bother stepping here. Understood?!"

He nodded like an obedient child. For the first time in ten years, Ozhan felt that he was free. He felt like he could let out the Ozhan he had buried somewhere in front of this woman whom he had began to respect more than an elder sister. He respected her more than he ever respected Bi Jaan.

As for Layeba, she trusted this man. At least a thousand times more than she trusted her husband. Maybe she was foolish to trust him but she did. He felt like a brother to her. Perhaps it was because she knew that he wanted to change with all that he had. He would've too if not for the fact that he wanted to save his brother from this fire too. And even though she didn't agree with this belief, she respected him for that.

Remembering her promise to her mother and her talk with Sanem a few weeks back, she dared to ask Ozhan.

"Ozhan? Can i ask you a question?"

"You just did." She glared at him and he said, "okay, okay. Go on."

"Your Taya and Tayi. Yazaan's parents. Where are they?"

A shadow crossed over Ozhan's face and he closed off again. "They are dead."

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon.

"H-how?"

She was almost afraid to ask him. There was this feeling in her that told her that these three words held a whole world of secrets and explanations.

She didn't know why or how she made that connection but she asked him the next question when he didn't reply to the first. "Ozhan, why did you kill your grandfather?"

His fist clenched but he replied her calmly, "That is not my story to tell. If Lala wanted you to know, he would've."

"Please Ozhan! This is not some tv serial, so don't give me that crap. You might think it's not your story to tell but if it will help me understand your brother better, then it's my right to know. Remember, you wanted me to do this. So tell me, please. I want to understand. I too, finally want peace. But for that, i need to know the reason for the storm. And you said it all started when you both killed him. So please!" She reminded him of the words he had said to Ozhan in the rake of emotions.

Magar hum wo neech kutte the jinki piyaas kabhi khatam hi nai hoi! Dada ko un ke anjaam tak pohanchate pohanchate hum un se badtar hogaye hain!

When Ozhan still didn't say anything, she used her last card even as she felt like the worst human alive for that. But then, the only thing she cared about was trying to understand things better because if there was one thing she had learnt from her patients, it was that no one was difficult for the sake of being difficult. "You just said you owe me your life, Ozhan."

And so he told her.

And he didn't spare her any single detail, no matter how she wished he had.

•~•

~10 years ago~

*Read with caution. Might be triggering for a few.

"Ozhan? When is your brother coming home?" He smiled as his Tai Ammi handed him the glass of juice.

Taking a sip, he laid back on the couch and lazily replied, "Tai Ammi, aren't you satisfied with having just one son? What will you do with Lala here? He's always just engrossed in his books anyway. Main to kehta hun lala ko London hi rehne dete hain. Araam se wahan gori ke saath shaadi karein or phir wahin rahein. Humain kya unse."

(I'm saying let him stay in London. He should marry a British and then settle there. What do we have to do with him?)

She smacked his head and handed a glass to her husband as well, who was busy reading a newspaper.

"Khabardaar mere bete ke baare main kuch kaha to, ullu."

(Don't talk about my son like that, idiot.)

"He's coming tomorrow", he grumpily said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Theek to keh rahe hain, sahabzaade. Aap ka beta humain konsa time deta hai. Bus parhta hi rehta hai", his Taya Abu called out boredly.

(Son is saying the truth. When does your son ever gives us time? Just does his study.)

"Haan to aap ko kya pata ho parhai kitni mushkil hai. Lekin ab kiun parhe ga wo. Ab to mera Sher MashaAllah se degree le kar aa raha hai. Ozhan? Go and bring Abeerah from school."

(How would you know how difficult study is? But why would he study now? Not to jinx it, my lion is coming back with a degree.)

Safia Ibrahim Khan was on cloud nine since she heard that her son was coming home after four years. And she had been busy making preparations for his arival for three weeks now. Yazaan had gone to gain a degree in business administration from University of London and he had achieved it.

But before her eyes could be blessed with the sight of her handsome son, someone else snatched her soul.

The door to their house was broken before they could comprehend what was happening and the place flooded with people he was all too familiar with. The rifles in their arms could be a courtesy of no one but Sikandar Khan. The man he had grown to hate all his life.

The eighteen year old Ozhan struggled as he was grabbed roughly by his arms and held in his place. His Taya Abu, Ibrahim Khan was pushed down and Safia fell on the floor after getting slap on raising a vase to hurt one of the men.

Sikander Khan came inside amongst the men with fury and blood in his eyes and grabbed Ibrahim from his collar and made him stand up.

"You shouldn't have reported to the police, son." Sikander Khan spat the word on his face. "Now i don't have time to play. Else i would've stayed to chat. But i'll just do what i was here for."

After that Ozhan didn't hear anything except for the cries of the woman who was a mother to him. The curses that Ibrahim yelled as his wife was raped in front of his eyes, were muffled to him. He heard screaming of someone else too but he wasn't sure whose were it. His or his Taya Abu?

He closed his eyes shut, hoping for it all to be a dream. But when he opened them again, all of it turned even more scary. The cries had ceased but the yells continued.

But they too were quietened when a loud bang echoed in the house and Ibrahim Khan fell down, with his mouth wide open and blood seeping through a hole in his forehead. He wasn't given much time to understand when his Tayi Ammi became the victim of same fate.

The men left him. But he didn't do anything. He couldn't. He was numb. He couldn't understand what happened. The last moment before Safia was shot, her eyes had met his and the pain and grief in them had made him forget everything else. Even now as he looked in her empty eyes, he couldn't force himself to act.

He fell down on his knees and slowly brought his hands closer to his mother. The moment his fingertips touched the cold skin, he jerked her to himself, laying her head on his lap and hugged her. The touch which was always warm was nowhere. The sweet voice which lulled him wasn't here to ease his cries. The gentle hand of his father which was always on his back wasn't anymore. And he started crying harder for all those losses.

The sounds of footsteps retreating indicated that the devil had left the place after killing his own real son, leaving behind the demons of his own to haunt him for life. He didn't know how much time he spent sobbing there. Just as his tears were about to dry, he heard the voice of someone whom he trusted fully to make everything better.

"Ozhan?!"

Yazaan called out from outside the house. The poor soul was smiling, displaying all his pearly whites, hoping to surprise his mother who would be running out to hug him any minute now.

The door opened and what greeted him was a teary Ozhan in his once white Shalwar Kameez. Yazaan walked up the two steps on the porch and before he could ask what happened, Ozhan hugged his brother and started crying with the innocence of a child.

"He killed them, Lala. He killed them. He didn't show mercy. He killed them."

And that was the last time he cried. Atleast in front of someone. Because the only thing he left with from this tragedy was anger and fire for revenge. And the innocence he had? He buried it somewhere deep.

•~•

Until now.

Because he was crying with the same emotions right now too. In front of the woman he had given the respect of his Tayi Ammi to.

And she just stood there with her mouth agape, shocked out of her mind. She wanted to console him. But she didn't know how.

After a few moments, he composed himself. But he couldn't continue. And she didn't ask him to. She already felt bad enough for pushing him to tell her this much and relive his worst moments.

I'm sorry, she wanted to say. But the words froze in her mouth. She just wished that he could read them on her face. And he did.

He stood up to leave but before going out, he called, "Bhabhi?"

"Hhmm?"

"I brought you in this mess. And in swear! I will rather die than let anyone hurt you. Be it my brother. He won't live even if simply thought about it."

And she trusted him.

•~•

He exhaled, letting out the smoke from his lungs. Nothing was easing him and he didn't even know the actual reason he was so tensed because of.

He knew someone was standing in the french doors to the lawn, watching him. And he had a pretty good idea about who it was. But he didn't acknowledge his presence until Ozhan said,

"Make your relationship with Bhabhi better or free her. Choice is yours. And you don't have much time."

It wasn't a request. Ozhan was telling him, More like ordering, and Yazaan knew it. If it were someone else and about someone else, the opposite person wouldn't have been standing. And well, Yazaan was changing as well. So he accepted this order from his brother and said,

"Or main yahan channe bechne aaya hun?"

(Am i here to sell beans?)

Ozhan clapped twice mockingly. He limped towards Yazaan and stood in front of him.

"Bhabhi sahi kehti hain. You have the worst sense of humor. In fact, you don't even have sarcasm . . . Tell bhabhi what we were here for first thing in the morning. And then focus on how to make her forgive you."

"You think i'm not doing that?"

"No. You're still busy thinking of all the mistakes we did. It's time to act now and focus on how to rectify those mistakes."

Yazaan nodded, soaking his words in. Thinking back, he realized Ozhan was right. He wasn't thinking of that. He was just wallowing in self pity and creating problems and scenario in his head which didn't even exist.

He went to leave but Ozhan grabbed his forearm, effectively stopping in his tracks.

"I've given Bhabhi my word. If you do anything more to hurt her, you'll have a bullet between your eyes before you even know what's coming your way, Lala."

Yazaan jerked his arm free and turned his head to look at him. Bringing a hand to his cheek, he slapped it twice lightly and said in a low voice;

"You won't be able to see the next dawn if you don't."

They both nodded.

•~•

Assalam o alaikum guys!
How are you all? How are you spending these holidays?

Did you like the chapter? Did i live up to your expectations? I know i say this almost at the end of every chapter now. But i'm slowly actually coming closer to the scenes in the prologue. See, i've already started unravelling some hidden truths.

What did you think of the past? Do you think Yazaan should've told her? I wanted Ozhan to because i wanted to develop a strong siblings bond between them. But do tell me if you would've wanted it otherwise.

Once again, Happy birthday, Melanie❤❤❤ hope you liked the chapter as well.

Lastly,

Please vote⭐ comment🖊 share📧 and follow😊

Lots of love❤❤❤
Javeria