Doctors are the worst patients.

No one knew this better than Shiza and she was experiencing it again. She watched as Layeba continued huffing and pouting and complaining as the doctor probbed her with questions about her health.

"Yaar!", Layeba groaned. "I'm telling you, i'm fine! I don't feel any pain. I'm not nauseous. My pulse, breathing, bp_ everything's fine. You can see that in that godforsaken machine too, which is giving me a headache, by the way. That's the only thing that would kill me." She complained for the nth time, hoping to have it removed. The continuous beeping was giving her anxiety.

Shiza slapped her arm, making her wince. "Ow! Ammi! Maar kiun rahin hain?", she whined as she rubbed the spot on her forearm.

(Why are you hitting me?)

"Ofcourse, you're fine! You're waking up after two damned days! Even the wound is half healed. Thappar maroon gi zor se agar marne ki baat ki to", Shiza cried.

(I'll slap you hard if you so much as speak of dying.)

Touched by the concern beneath her mother's scolding, she smiled. "See, khud keh rahin hain ke main theek hun. Please, Sadia. Let me out of this boring room", she pleaded the doctor, whom she was acquainted with since the medical camp her hospital had arranged here.

(You yourself are agreeing that i'm fine.)

"The bullet hit nothing vital and seeing as your body was given full two days rest, you can be allowed to leave by this evening. But you are to ensure that she does nothing but rest", Dr. Sadia said, directing her speech to Shiza at the end.

With a few more formalities and a 'get well soon', Dr. Sadia left them alone. Shiza blew dua's on her daughter, trying to keep her tears at bay and kissed her temple.

"You gave us quite the scare, Doctor," the one standing in the corner spoke for the first time since she woke up half an hour ago. She could feel his green gaze penetrating through her soul the whole time and it was the real reason she was feeling jittery.

She didn't reply, instead just nodded at him solemnly. She couldn't find a reason to stay mad at him when she knew he was the reason she was alive right now. Even when she was unconscious, she did hear him talking to her once or twice. And one such monologue had her heart beating fast for a reason she knew nothing about.

•~•

He had dared to enter her ward and punish himself even more with the pain that came from seeing her laying there motionless. The beeping of the machine and slow rise and fall of her chest  were the only sign that she was alive. His mother-in-law had left her side finally and that too, he knew, for maximum ten minutes because she had gone to offer her prayer.

He sat beside her and barely touched her knuckles with his fingertips. It felt wrong to sit there, wanting to touch her and take her in his arms without her permission while she lay unconscious.

He wanted to show respect to her, to her beliefs, to her wishes _ therefore he just gripped the dangling silver heart on her bracelet.

God Damn you, Ozhan! Why did you have to work that stupid brain of yours and trap me in this mess?

"I know you hate me, doctor. You wouldn't have forgiven me after everything i've done to you. And now, after everything, there's not even a chance. The mental torture i've put you through, that is unjustifiable but then, i didn't care about your forgiveness back then. I just wanted to make you mine. Wanted to possess you."

He looked upwards and took in a deep breath. "I was so stupid, i didn't even notice that while i was clutching you, you were being suffocated." Scoffing, he continued, "Or maybe i did notice but i didn't care . . . How could i ever think that it was love i felt for you when i was missing its basic element?. . .Care."

"You were right. It was just my ego. My ego that couldn't accept that a woman was brave enough to talk back to me. My ego that made me make you mine. I didn't love you back then, i didn't. But i sure do now. I love you so freaking much."

"Had this day not happened, i would've grovelled at your feet to forgive me. I would've done anything to make you accept me but after what i've done, i know that even if i moved heavens for you, you will never forgive me."

He sniffed and smiled at the irony. Even Yazaan Ibraheem Khan can feel.

"I know how you felt when i had left you with no option. I'm drowning so deep, i can't resurface. I can't breathe. And i don't know if its love i'm drowning in or guilt. It can be either, right? I insulted love, so its only fair that its punishing me now."

He left the heart, not caring that it bruised his palm. He interlinked his fingers and rested his chin on them, supporting his elbows on the bed.

"Just don't punish your mother, please. Please wake up soon. I'll live my entire life either asking for your forgiveness or staying away from you, whatever you want. Just wake up, please! I know the doctors said that you are out of danger, that you will wake up when you'll want to. But that's what i'm afraid of. I'm scared that you won't want to wake up. Please. Think of some other way to punish me. Just wake up soon. Please!"

•~•

She didn't know how she felt about all this. And, quite frankly, she didn't even want to know. He seemed just like any other person to her. She wasn't gripping at her hatred towards him that much but she wasn't the one to forget everything.

And after sorting this mess out, she remembered another thing (which should've been the first thing out of her mouth and she scolded herself for it not being so.)

"Ammi? Arsal?"

And here came the billion dollar question. The question both Shiza and Yazaan were dreading.

You know what's worse for a mother than losing her child? Forcing herself to not care about his death because he was an awful son, a horrible brother and a sickening human being. On one hand was a mother who wanted to forgive her son for all the inhumane things he had done and on the other hand was a wife of a Shaheed who had given his life up to fight for what was right.

Guess which side won?

Layeba looked back and forth from Yazaan to Shiza, needing to get an answer. In her heart, she already knew that the worst had happened.

"He's. . . he's no more."

Yazaan had always been the one to cherish silence. Infact, he could silence a crowd with just a flick of his finger. But this time, the silence his words caused was louder than any blast.

Layeba laughed. Or rather, tried to laugh. Her face shifted from amusement to pain to shock and back to amusement. Her smile broke a hundred times before she get the words out.

"You. . . have the worst sense of humor, Khan. . . and i'm going to tell you once and for all. . . that it is not appreciated. . . not at all. . . especially if its about my family, my friends _ anyone. Do you get it?"

He continued looking at her with a face that was of a boss. Which refused to display any emotions. He would have a whole war inside of him and even his eyelash wouldn't move. The one which forced the opponent to reconsider his words. And Layeba did just that.

She turned towards her mother, begging her with eyes to deny it as she asked, "Ammi? Ye jhoot bol raha hai na? Aisa kuch nai hai na? Its not possible."

(He's lying, right? Nothing of sorts has happened right?)

But the mother didn't take pity on her and said, her head hung, "it's true."

She fell back on the pillow, her chest raking with sobs.

"But. . . but. . . how?. . . how could he die? He was somewhere safe. . . he can't die. . . Ammi, he can't. . . he was here to save me. . . how did. . . h. . ."

"He was shot when we were coming out of that place." Only Shiza knew how she got those words out without bursting into tears.

"Who? Who killed him?"

It was like deja vu for her. Not long ago, she had asked the same question to her friend. She hadn't even gotten over the loss of her miracle and here she was asking about the murderer of her baby brother.

Why is life sometimes so cruel?

"I-"

"We don't know."

Yazaan looked at his mother-in-law, trying to decipher why she hadn't allowed him to admit his crime. It was the first time she had lied to her daughter and No, it wasn't sympathy for him. She just didn't want to give her daughter more reasons to hate someone. She was filled with enough hate and sorrow to last her for a lifetime.

"We don't know whose bullet hit him."

Yazaan went outside, banging the door in frustration behind him. Layeba continued on sobbing, turning on her side. And Shiza? She looked upwards, struggling to keep her tears in check and praying to her Rabb.

Let it rain already, Ya Rabb! We're not strong enough to endure such hardships!

•~•

She stood outside in the lawn, watching the half moon shine brightly. There was nothing special about the moon. Atleast she thought there wasn't. Maybe because she was too logical but she couldn't bring herself to stare at it for hours and hours like all the other girls claim to do.

But today, she was watching it, just so she didn't have to go inside. Hussein Villa was filled with relatives, even two days after the funeral. She didn't want to be swarmed with questions. It was selfish of her to leave her mother inside to answer their questions, but she didn't yet have the courage to speak.

So here she stood, watching as the clouds moved around the moon. Sometimes they covered it, concealing it from the spectator's view and sometimes letting it shine through. That's how she spent almost half hour of peace without thinking anything. Until;

"You're supposed to be resting inside."

She sighed loudly. She had answered that question alot in the past two days. Especially from this man.

"I was feeling suffocated inside."

Yazaan nodded, and stood beside her, keeping a good distance between them.

"I need to ask you for a favour." Even getting the words out was difficult for him. Yazaan Ibraheem Khan never asked. He ordered.

"What is it?"

"I need you to host Abeerah and the kids for a few days. Things are gonna get heated in Hunza."

"Sure. But the kids's mothers? Would they allow them to stay with me?" As far she knew, none of the ladies particularly liked her and her bonding with the children.

"It doesn't matter what they think. I had asked them to shift to a safe place as well. But they're stubborn. Be it as they want but i'm not risking my nieces' and nephews' lives."

She nodded. "And Bi Jaan?" She knew that the head of Khan family wouldn't accept to stay hidden while her family fought.

"She'll return to Hunza with me tomorrow. I would've wanted it otherwise but its her decision."

"How come you're entrusting them to me?" , she asked with a frown on her face.

" 'cause i don't know anyone other than you here."

She hummed. Silence after that.

While they both stood outside, lost in their own thoughts, the question that was in mind of everyone in Layeba's family was finally asked inside.

Shiza's mother, Layeba's nani, asked her pointing at the mass of people who took half the living room. Bi Jaan had forced all the elders to attend the funeral of their daughter-in-law's brother and they had been in Lahore for three days now, visiting them everyday till night fell off.

"Beta, you are yet to tell us who these people are."

As if feeling her mother's distress, Layeba caught her mother's eye through the glass wall.

"I'm going inside."

Yazaan followed her inside and stood with his family. Her nani gestured her to sit beside her on the sofa.

"You tell us, Layeba. Who are these people?"

It took a second for her brain to catch up on the fact that she was talking about the Khan family.

"Nano. They're Khans. Um_ they live in Hunza."

Why do all the woman i know have such a look that makes you vomit the truth? Ugh!

On nano's inquisitive gaze, she opened her mouth to say, collegues's family when Shiza decided to drop the bomb.

"They're Layeba's in-laws. This young man right here, Yazaan, is Layeba's husband."

•~•

Finally!

Shiza sighed as she closed the door after her family. It had gotten quite heated in their house with no one accepting the situation and when Nani had asked about Yazaan's family, the situation began to go slightly out of hand. It had gone on until Layeba had finally had it and had requested Yazaan to take his family away. She had then grabbed her nani's wrinkled hand and said to her softly;

"Please, nani. Abhi in sab baaton ka time nahi hai. Main sab kuch aap ko baad main bataoon gi. Is waqt late ho gaya hai. Aap sab log ghar jaen abhi."

(This is not the time to talk about all these things. I'll explain everything to you later. It's late now. You all go home.)

Abeerah brought a glass of water to Shiza who accepted it with a JazakAllah. "Let me show you your room, beta."

Hussein villa had two guest bedrooms. Shiza preferred to show Abeerah the one with two double beds, so she can easily stay with her nieces and nephews.

After the kids had settled, Shiza came to sit in the lounge with Sanem and Layeba. Sanem prepared tea for herself and Shiza and brought a glass of juice for Layeba. They all enjoyed it in silence, until Sanem said,

"Layeba, let me help you to your room."

"You go. I'll come in a while."

Knowing Layeba wanted to have a conversation with her mother, she left with the empty cups and glass.

"Why did you do it, Ammi?", she asked softly. In response, Shiza took in a deep breath. "Why did you tell them all about my Nikkah?"

It was an unspoken agreement between the mother-daughter duo that it is not be mentioned of.

"So, you're telling me that your marriage is to stay hidden forever?", Shiza asked, raising her eyebrows.

She looked up exasperatedly. "I'm not saying that! And forever?"

"Then, what? Are you gonna get rid of it?" Shiza, of all people, knew how much Layeba loathed the idea of divorce. From the time she had learnt that it is the least favourite thing of the Almighty among the halal things, she hated it. Whenever she learnt about anyone's separation, it was as if she felt the pain herself.

Layeba gripped her head, not knowing what she wanted herself. "I - i don't know."

"Layeba, you know i will never force you and always stand by your decisions because i've taught you enough to know they'll be right. I just want to make you aware of this, that in your case, you only have two options. Either separate - ", Even hearing this, a frown etched on her forehead. "Or accept him as your husband and give him his rights."

She looked at her mother, shocked. "What? Give him his rights?"

Shiza shrugged in response.

"Ammi, ap ko pata hai main kabhi kisi ko us ka haqq dene se peeche nai hati. Kabhi bhi nai. Agar Yazaan ke ilawa koi bhi hota to main us ko us ka haqq dena se kabhi na jhijhakti. Magar Ammi! Yazaan ko us ka haqq dene ka matlab hai ke main usse us ko us ke farz ada karne ka haqq de dun. How can i do that? How can i allow him to take care of my needs? Ammi! I've seen what he's capable of. I know by what means he earns. I've seen him kill! Hell! Even you've seen him kill in that warehouse." An unwanted image of Yazaan killing her own son entered Shiza's mind. "How can i accept him after all that?"

(You know i've never backed away in giving someone his rights. Never. Had it been someone else in Yazaan's place, i would've never hesitated. But, mom! Giving Yazaan his rights means that i give him the right to fulfill his duties too!)

Shiza patted her hand softly and just said, "Then you know what you have to do." And she left Layeba, trapped in her own thoughts.

•~•

"You know, as your doctor, i should reprimand you for not being bedridden."

Sanem's voice broke her reverie. She sniffed and realized how cold her nose had gotten. It was irritating. She loved the cold but she didn't like how her nose froze and started watering. Rubbing her hands together, she replied, "You're not officially my doctor. Doctor Sadia is."

"But where is she?" Sanem covered her with a wool shawl and sat beside her on the couch that was placed in their balcony. "In Hunza. A thousand kilometres away. Who's here? Me. So, i'm your doctor."

"Aiwaeen hi!?"

"Of course!" Sanem nudged her. "What happened?"

"I don't exactly know how to explain."

"Try", Sanem got comfortable on the couch, folding her legs beneath her.

"I know i should divorce him. But the mere thought of it fills me with tremors." And she explained everything to Sanem. Everything. In addition to what she had said to her mother, she didn't spare Sanem the tiniest of details. From Ozhan's outburst to Yazaan's developing care to the forced kiss and finally, his more or less love confession during her unconciousness.

"That's a lot to happen in three weeks", Sanem joked.

"Tell me about it! I felt like i was in one of the novels i read when i was young."

"Point! We're still young. But i get the point", she said, making Layeba smile a bit. "Have you made any decision yet?"

Layeba shook her head and turned her head upwards, rubbing her face and exhaling loudly.

"You told me all these things. Do you believe he's a bad person?"

Without any hesitation, she replied, "Yes!" After a moment, she began, "but-" She bit her lip.

"But?"

"But i do think he's not unredeemable."

Sanem understood what she meant, therefore, she didn't ask her anything. "Then you atleast need to try. 'Cause the Layeba Hussein i know never leaves a case without trying."

She scoffed. "I can't accept him the way he is and He's not the type to want to change, Sanem. And you and i both know, no one can change anyone unless he wants to change."

"How can you say that? He says he loves you. Love makes you want to be a better man." It didn't need to be told that Sanem was a hopeless romantic, right?

"Oh, puhlease! Even in his perception of 'love', he knows only how to take. The last time he claimed he loved me, he forcefully married me by threatening to kill my mother."

"Okay, but he did apologise for it-"

"While i was unconscious. And he didn't exactly apologise. He said he would, had this day not happened."

"I still don't know what he meant by that. What happened that day?"

She shrugged. "Maybe because of the trauma i had to go through because of him." But she wasn't convinced that that was the reason. In her heart, she knew there was something big hidden here.

"Anyway. He now understands the meaning of love-"

"Says who?"

"Says me and his eyes." Ignoring Layeba's eyeroll, she continued. "So, maybe he will now want to be better?"

Maybe she just wanted to convince Sanem that she had gotten her point. Maybe she was actually convinced herself but she just shrugged in response to Sanem's questions.

Thank Allah, i'm not this indecisive in my professional life. Only Allah knows what would've happened if such were the case.

Thinking all this, she groaned. "Ya Allah! This is all so hard! How am i supposed to make him a better man!?"

"See! That's a start!" On her confused expression, Sanem explained. "This means you've decided that you want to try to give him and your relationship, a chance."

"Where did you even got that from?"

As if she hadn't even heard Layeba, Sanem continued; "Now you just have to take the first step-"

"Why do i have to take the first step?!", Layeba asked as if she was scandalised.

This time Sanem did acknowledge her question. "Twenty-first century? Women empowerment? And you're still asking why you have to take the first step!"

"Ufff! Whatever!"

"So, the first step! You have to start bh getting to know him."

"How am i supposed to do that?" Though Layeba pretended to be mocking Sanem, she was genuinely curious.

"Ask him, of course!"

"Him? Ask him? Let me tell you what he'll tell me. Yazaan Ibraheem Khan here. I don't take shit from anyone. I'm the boss. I'm the king. Whatever i say, you have to do. Done!"

"Keep an open mind!" Sanem placed her forefinger on her lip, thinking. "For example, you can start by asking all the questions left in your mind after your brother-in-law's outburst."

She actually began to ponder over it. She was definitely curious. No denying that. But would he ever tell her that? Did she really want to know?

"You'll think of something, i'm sure. You work with brains all the time! How hard can this one be?"

That was a question she knew she had to find the answer to but, in no way did she want to.

•~•

Assalam o alaikum guys!💖

How are you all? Did you miss your favourite couple😘?

Okay, okay, sorry🙈🙈. Calling them both a couple is an insult to the word at this stage, i know.

Anyway, how did you guys find the chapter? Interesting? Boring? Too much of an emotional ride? So-so?

Tbh, i myself don't have many comments on this one chapter. So i'll let you guys be the judge of it. So please let me know in the comments.

One thing i do want your advise and comment on is: do i break the rhythm too much? Is my writing too incomprehensible? If it is, please let me know and my fellow writers, share your wisdom on it cuz i seriously need help(i believe i do)

Anyway!!! There are 1K+ reads on the story!!!!!🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊 it feels like a huge accomplishment. So thank you all😘😘😘😘

Vote🌟 comment🖊 share📧 and follow😁

Lots of love❤❤❤
Javeria Naeem