"What happened to her?" As much as he wanted the desperation in his voice to go unnoticed, he wasn't fooling anyone around him. Everyone knew that he was on the verge of blowing up. He had been waiting for over an hour outside the emergency ward and he didn't do well with waiting. So, when a lady doctor emerged from the door they had taken his wife in, he bombarded her with the first question that came out of his mouth.

He was anxious to know what had happened to her. Abeerah had tried to explain to him what an Anaphylactic reaction was, but it fell on deaf ears. He didn't have the mind power to understand what was happening to her. The only point he had gotten his mind across was that it was deadly and it was because of an allergy.

"She had an Anaphylactic reacti-", the doctor began to explain but Yazaan cut her off by loud, "SPEAK ENGLISH DOCTOR!"

As doctors were used to intense reactions from patients' relatives, she didn't mind that much but her eye did twitch in annoyance. She started again, "Doctor Layeba had an allergic reaction due to which her throat started closing up and she couldn't breathe properly. And well, due to the late arrival of ambulance and delay in giving her Epipen, she lost her consciousness which was not, in any way, favourable to her already dire and life-threatening condition."

"W-what was she allergic to?", asked Abeerah.

"Nicotine. She has always been allergic to nicotine", then, as if assuming that Yazaan still didn't quite understand what it meant (which wasn't exactly true) and to avoid another loud reaction, she simplified, "she's allergic to cigarette smoke."

An emotion which was unknown to him, instigated inside him. Guilt. Or maybe, he wasn't that unfamiliar with it but . . . he certainly never heeded to it this much. İt was never this strong. İn just a moment, it felt to him that should his stead falter a bit, it would swallow him whole leaving no traces behind.

Was i the reason she was about to die?

Would i have never seen her again?

Would she have left me without giving me a chance to prove to her how much i love her?

Was this all my fault?

"H-how is she now?" His voice held a slight tremor to it. Abeerah and Bi Jaan probably didn't pay attention to it but the one leaning against the wall surely did. And it perplexed Ozhan to no ends. Watching him with narrowed eyes, Ozhan tried to comprehend Yazaan's behaviour. He knew for a fact that Yazaan didn't love her.

The bastard doesn't even know what love is now!

And he also knew that if he hadn't implanted the seed of supposed "love" in Yazaan's brain, Layeba would've been living her life peacefully. But why did his voice tremble? Was he starting to grow soft?

Was my plan working?

"She's out of danger. But we need to keep her under observation for a few hours, incase she has another attack or seizure. Other than that, she's okay. Infact she should be awake any minute now."

As if on cue, a nurse informed the Doctor that Layeba was awake. With a nod to Yazaan, she went inside and did a physical exam on Layeba.

"How are you feeling?", she asked Layeba gently.

"I'm okay. Just a headache", Layeba's voice was a bit muffed due to the oxygen mask she was wearing.

"Well, that's normal. We're gonna keep you under observation for a couple of hours. You know the protocol very well."

Layeba removed her mask and sat up, rather tiredly. "No. I don't have time to stay here. I have to go", Dr. Sadia was about to protest but she cut her off. "I know why you're wanting to keep me here but trust me, i've been in this situation quite a couple of times and never have i ever had a double reaction. And if it happens, i now have Epipens with me, so i'll manage."

"As a person who does understand these things, i believe you must know what you're talking about. But. . . Layeba ever before, were you this exhausted? Was your body this much tired? I don't know your reasons but i do know that you are clearly starving yourself and are sleep-deprived." At this, Layeba shut up. She knew Doctor Sadia from the medical camp her hospital had arranged here in Hunza. So she did know her enough to trust her judgements.

"Don't worry, Doctor. She'll be well taken care of from now", a chilling voice interrupted them. She looked at the six foot male, standing at the door. His expression showed nothing of the inner turmoil he was going through.

Dr. Sadia left after a few seconds leaving both of them alone. He stepped forward, putting his hands on the foot of the bed. He stared into her eyes, which were unusually without her glasses. The green of his eyes pulled her to them like a magnet. Guilt flickered in his eyes but before she catch up on it, he reigned it in. Taking in a deep breathe, she looked away not wanting to drown in them yet again.

"I don't have energy to deal with you, Khan."

And she did sound exhausted.

"Don't. Don't deal with me then. I'm not asking you to. We're gonna quietly go out. Without talking to each other. No taunts. No threats. Nothing. And have a beautiful dinner."

She sighed loudly, not bothering to hide her irritation. "We've had this conversation before, Khan! I'm not having anything you pay for!"

And they did have this conversation before. On her third night here. When she had refused yet again to have dinner, he had come to her room to invite her to dinner outside. But when he had seen her grabbing some money and stuffing them into her small bag, they had a heated argument about it with Layeba obviously stating;

"If you are going to pay for it, then there's no difference between here and there. My problem is not with the food made here, but the money it is made from!"

And Yazaan slamming the door behind him along with the lines of;

"If you are going to act like an obnoxious so-called stuck-up independent woman who thinks what she does is the best, then its better you stay in here and starve yourself. I don't fucking care!"

"I'm not. I won't pay for it. If that's what it takes for you to start eating, then so be it", to say she was surprised would be an understatement. She knew how much it cost to the Pathan inside him to let a woman pay. And yet here he was, bending his ego so that she could eat.

She sat there dumbfounded, confused as hell by the gentleness in his voice. Never once did his actions showed that he cared for her even a single bit and now, it seemed as if he would do anything she would say.

"I'll send Abeerah in to help you with...whatever you need. I'll be out waiting in the car." With a nod at her, he went out, clearly showing that he wanted to respect her boundaries.

Not a moment had passed when Abeerah entered along with Bi Jaan asking her about her health. She answered them with half a mind, still wondering what the Beast's new behaviour was about.

Was all it took for him to act nicely was my nearly dying?

•~•

"You okay, Lala?"

His thoughts were interrupted by Ozhan. Ozhan was the only one he could show his true emotions to. He had stopped expressing them in front of Bi Jaan a while back too.

"No."

Ozhan couldn't help but notice the lack of cigarette between his fingers. Normally, whenever he would reflect too much, he would start smoking. But not now. If he could help it, probably not ever.

"I really did ruin her life, didn't i?"

Knowing it was a rhetorical question, Ozhan didn't answer. He knew Yazaan already had found its answer.

"I wanted to marry her because i thought i loved her. Why? Because she was stuck in my head. But she didn't haunt my thoughts because she had left an impression on me, did she?. . . No. She invaded my thoughts because she had offended me and i was too dumb to know that! I was only focusing on how her voice affected me."

He grasped the iron railings, trying to silence the voices in his head which were enough to drive anyone mad. He was breathing heavily, and even though it was quite chilly, he was sweating profusely.

"She was allergic to cigarette. That's why she had left that night in a hurry! Because i had lit a cigarette. And. . . and i thought she had left between our conversation because of her rudeness. That's why she was always in my mind! And you," he turned to look at Ozhan.

His condition was scaring Ozhan. Never once did he see him so vulnerable. Not even when his parents were lowered into the ground. Hell! Not even when Abeerah was kidnapped.

Guilt really was powerful enough to fuck someone up, wasn't it?

"You told me it was because i loved her", he lurched forward and grabbed Ozhan's collar. "Why did you tell me it was love? Why did you say that it was because i loved her?"

Maintaining his calm and not minding his brother's outburst, Ozhan removed his hands gently and replied,

"Because i can't see you like this anymore, Lala. Fuck! I can't live like this anymore, Lala."

Not having the patience to solve any riddles, Yazaan snarled, "What the fuck do you mean?"

"Don't you see, Lala? Don't you see what we have become? Don't you see what the world sees us as? Don't you too see the same monster every fucking morning in the mirror, the world is so afraid of? Don't you get frightened by the malice in those eyes? 'Cause heaven knows Lala i do!"

The temperature suddenly seemed to drop a little more and if someone else was present, he would have certainly been frozen by the chill in the atmosphere.

"It was supposed to be a one time thing. Just one pull of trigger and then, poof! nothing else. But now look at what monsters we have become! This is what Tayi Ami was afraid of, Lala. This is why she didn't want us to come to the haweli. She wanted to shelter us from all this. But look at what we have done. We've done exactly what she feared. We fell into the hellhole and instead of being punished for the one crime we did, we became the devils itself!", he whispered the last part ashamed of himself.

"You could've left. You know i wouldn't have kept you against your will. You had all the right to leave. You could've gone and lived the life you wanted. You know, i wouldn't have stopped you!", he knew he had opened the wound in Yazaan's heart that was not fully healed.

"No, i couldn't have. How could i? How could i leave you here? You know i would follow you to the bowels of hell instead of just saving my own ass. I was raised by Tayi ammi and i even though we both have seemed to forgotten everything she taught us, one thing i haven't forgettem, Lala", he placed his hands on Yazaan's shoulder, "is never to leave your brother behind. So how could i?"

He sniffed. The tears in his eyes shook Yazaan more than anything. He was never the one to cry. He was never the one to show his emotions. Not even anger unlike Yazaan.

"Lala, didn't you ever notice? How distant Abeerah has become? Because she still holds her mother's upbringing. And we did anything but. If we were never like this, Abeerah wouldn't have to go through what she did. My love wouldn't have been ripped of her honor if we were not like this!"

It was not a hidden fact that Ozhan loved Abeerah, and quite honestly, Yazaan didn't have a problem with it either.

"How much did she try to stop us! Magar hum wo neech kutte the jinki piyaas kabhi khatam hi nai hoi! Dada ko un ke anjaam tak pohanchate pohanchate hum un se badtar hogaye hain!"

(But we were those lowly dogs whose thirst never ends! Bringing our grandfather to his end, we've become worse than him!)

"Have you ever thought what will become of our nephews if we continued like this? Their childhoods would be ripped from them and you know how horrible it feels like! Or even this, have you thought what would happen if someone from the family of whom we've killed thinks exactly like us? How would this family fend then?"

Stopping to take a breath, he gripped the railings too. "That's why Lala. That's why i told you that you loved her. Because even though i knew your connection wasn't strong enough, she was the only one who got under your skin. She was the only one to tell us off as we were. Throw our filthy reality back as it was. And i had to give it a shot. I had to make her a part of this family to give her a chance to save you. To save all of us."

Yazaan opened his mouth to say something but they never got to know what he was about to say because they were interrupted by clearing of a throat.

They both turned, slightly horrified. There stood Layeba, rather timidly, as if she was caught doing something she shouldn't. Well, she was. She shouldn't have listened to their "conversation". She had been standing behind the door long enough to hear almost everything and she didn't know what to think of it.

Ozhan jumped over the railing and sat in his car, speeding off to God knows where.

Yazaan had been waiting for Layeba to get ready for their dinner when Ozhan had come. Since Layeba was really hungry at this point, she hadn't even thought of arguing and got ready as soon as they reached home from the hospital in a record time. Well, she didn't do anything anyway. Just threw on a jeans and a floral printed knee-length frock, a white hijab covering her head. A long strap small bag hung across her shoulder covered by a shawl which was draped on her shoulders to keep the cold outside.

Pretending as if nothing had happened, he got in the car with her following and they took off.

The car ride was quiet just like Yazaan had said it would be. The night was emotionally draining for both them, so neither of them bothered to say anything. Both of them were engrossed in their own thoughts.

Yazaan was reminiscing every single word of Ozhan in his head as if on replay. And Layeba's head was just filled with more and more questions.

Should i be happy that atleast one person knows that they are going on all wrong?

Atleast now i know why my life is hell!

•~•

Helllooo beauties! Assalam-o-alaikum!

How are you all?

I know i'm late. *ducks*🙈🙈 wait wait. I have an explanation. I know i said the update was on monday but thanks to lovely loadshedding, first i didn't have electricity and then...Wifi had to act up like a heroine.🙄 And you know i'm ghareeb 😪so i didn't have mobile data and blah blah. I know there's no excuse for a late update. I'm sorry ❤❤❤

Anyway! How was the chapter? I know it was short by about 500 words than my normal length but if i had written more, it would've gone waayyyy long and you guys would've been bored. So yeah! Their dinner date (i know its not a date and i created the circumstances so they could never have a date myself, 😭😭 so let me just assume for now) will be in next chapter.

What did you guys think of "sudden" soft behaviour of Yazaan?

Most importantly! What did you all think of Ozhan's outburst? I know many people started to hate him after the initial few seconds crush (including me😂) so i had to return my fav character to the loveable track😂❤❤

Also! Do you guys think i rush things a litttllleee too much? like to the point where they don't make sense? If i do, i definitely need help from you guys. So please please please! Tell me.

Where are you going? Press the 🌟 too... Thank you. You're the best. I love you❤❤❤❤😘😘😘😘

That's all.
Lots of love❤❤❤
Javeria😍