~Three years back~

~Layeba's POV~

My residency has completed. Now i can finally return to Pakistan after nine long years. And i couldn't be more happier about that.

But the happiness that i should've actually felt wasn't there. The grief was still fresh and it was raw because i had no one to share it with. Sanem's residency had finished a year ago, so she wasn't here with me either.

Some humans like me are weird, aren't they? When they are surrounded by people, they don't show their emotions, taking peace in relieving the others of theirs. But when they are alone, they crave someone was there to listen to them.

I lost my grandmother last month to Leukaemia but i couldn't even attend her funeral because i was stuck here. I could've left a month before and taken my residency certificate later but i didn't. I stayed here. And now i was regretting it. Why was i so selfish? Dadi maa always said that i was her favourite grandchild but i wasn't even there with her in her last days. What kind of granddaughter does it make me?

Enough Layeba! I chastised myself. What did baba always say? 'Learn not to live in regrets and peace will find you.'

I wish it were that easy to let go of your regrets.

•~•

My first day at work in this hospital. My dream hospital. It felt surreal to me. We were taken to an educational trip to this hospital in high school once and since then, i've been dreaming to work here. Dreams do come true, don't they? It just ain't a unicorn ride.

"You must be Doctor Layeba Hussein."

I turned to look at the man who'd addressed me. A fine looking man with brown skin, dark eyes, dark hair and shaved jaw. His coat was a bit wrinkled, indication of his busy day and his name was embroidered on it in cursive. Doctor Yasir Saeed. Neurosurgeon.

I gave him a polite smile and said, "Yes. You're Dr. Yasir Saeed. Pleased to meet you."

"Same here. You need someone to show you around?"

"No, i already had a tour given but thank you for the offer." He nodded. "I'm sorry but i have to go to the conference room. I'll see you around?"

"Of course. I'm going to the meeting as well. Let's go together."

"Lead the way."

After the meeting, which was really short, i went to my office. I didn't have any patients on my panel yet so it was an easy day, which was not what i was used to. Every day in New Jersey was a challenge. And i loved it.

Don't be impatient.

I began checking my emails since i had nothing to do. I really need to offer at emergency ward. At least then i won't have to sit so idly. While scrolling through my emails, answering where necessary, a particular name caught my attention.

NIBD & BMT (National Institute of Blood Diseases and Bone Marrow Transplant.)

I immediately clicked it. What if i am HLA match of someone? God! I hope I am. My eyes skimmed over the text, barely reading the formalities. Until i found what i longed for.

I can't believe it! There actually is someone whom i can help!

I immediately grabbed my cell phone and contacted the institute on the given number. It came back busy but i tried again. When we were looking for a bone marrow donor for my grandmother, all of my family members had volunteered for the test. Unfortunately, there was no match. But i registered myself to all the bone marrow registries i knew: BBMR, NIBD & BMT, DKMS, and a few others, in hopes that maybe there could he someone whom i can help.

How lucky could i be that out of all the ones i had registered to, i was contacted by the one in Pakistan. Coincidence? Or fate?

I couldn't dwell on it much since someone on the other end answered with their usual greeting.

"Assalam o alaikum. I'm Dr. Layeba Hussein. I got an email that yesterday that there was an HLA match of mine. Can i get the person's details?"

"Wait a minute, Mam. Let me check."

I held my breath, waiting for her to check. Someone knocked on my door, and after a second, Hassaan Bhai poked his head in. Seeing me on the phone, he mouthed, "Busy?" I shook my head and gestured him in. Holding one finger, i told him to wait.

"Yes, Mam. The patient's name is Meerab Rizwan. She's currently enrolled in **** Hospital. You can contact there and ask the necessary details."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Have a nice day."

I hung up, feeling excited. What were the odds? It really was fate. Meerab was in the same hospital i was currently sitting in.

"Someone's in a good mood."

"Of course! I found out that there's someone whom i can help. They've found my HLA match. And she's associated with this very hospital!"

"That's really good! Who's she? Mehrma Faisal? Or Fatima Bilal?"

"None of those. Its someone named Meerab Rizwan."

Hassaan's smile disappeared and he looked as if he was in pain.

"What happened?"

"She's a lost cause."

"Why?"

"Come on! See for yourself", said Hassaan bhai standing up.

I was confused as hell. Why would he say something like this? I stood up as well. "What? She's currently admitted?"

"Yeah. She was here yesterday for her chemotherapy."

He lead me towards the elevator. The ride up to fourth floor was quiet. And here i thought nothing could sore my mood. What could it possibly be that he said its a lost cause?

We went to room 354 and in the bed lay a girl of about seven or eight looking frail as a leaf. A cloth was wrapped around her head. The dull color and parched lips as if she didn't get water for a few days tore my heart. Life really is unfair sometimes, isn't it?

"Tooba, bring me her file please", Hassaan bhai addressed the nurse who was inserting an IV on the girl's arm. She nodded and left. On Bhai's voice, the girl's weak gaze became focused and a smile appeared on her face which seemed to light up my slightly down mood. MashaAllah! She's really beautiful. May Allah bless her with health. 

"Hassaan uncle! Why didn't you come to visit me yesterday? I was waiting for you!"

Bhai sat with her, taking her hand in his. "I'm really sorry, princess. I had a really busy day yesterday. But I'm here now, aren't I?" 

The little girl pouted and looked as if she was about to cry any second now. "It hurts so much! And Chachu didn't even give me a lollipop yesterday. Tooba Api gave me medicines and said that it will go away in a while but it really hurts."

My heart broke. Why did it have to happen to such a little soul? No one deserves such fate let alone a child. Tears brimmed in my eyes but i reigned them in. I couldn't get weak right now. Putting on a bright smile, i went to sit on her other side. Hassaan bhai stood up, no doubt in my respect. 

"Does it hurt too much?"

She gave me a pained nod. 

"Then, i guess a simple chocolate can't heal it, right?"

"You have a chocolate?", she gasped, hope and excitement replacing the pain. 

I stole a glance at Hassaan bhai as if i wanted to keep a secret and whispered loudly. "Yes. Its my favorite one. Kit Kat. Do you want it?"

"Kit Kat?!", she whispered too, playing along with me. 

I hummed. Taking one out of my pocket, (don't ask me why i have a bunch of chocolates in my coat's pocket, a girl has her addictions) i offered it to her which she took gladly. She gave me a smile that would be enough to light up the whole room. And i promised myself then and there; i would do anything to help her. It isn't just a coincidence that on my very first day, i found out about her and she was in the same hospital. 

While she busy devouring the chocolate, i went into a corner with Bhai, going over the file which Nurse Tooba had just brought. My brain stopped to function for a moment. I couldn't interpret anything. How could this be possible? Could her situation get any worse? As if stage three leukemia wasn't enough. 

With slightly agape mouth, i looked at Hassaan bhai unable to say anything. 

"Now you see? We've gone over various surgical techniques, consulted many surgeons, specialists but no one is ready to take the risk. In order to make sure her body allows a Stem Cell Transplant surgery, her heart should be strong, which as you can see, isn't."

I could see that, infact. Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy? Thickening of heart walls so it prevents blood flow? And hers is severe to the point that the only cure is Heart Transplant. Two transplant surgeries at once? On an eight year old? But it wasn't unheard of. Unless...

"There isn't heart donor?"

"As a matter of fact, there is. A ten year old boy who is basically a vegetable for two months. We've tried to convince his parents but you know, how could they allow to stop their only child's breathing?"

And people think being a doctor is easy. Its one of the most toughest jobs out there. And THIS is the most difficult part of the job. Not telling patient's relatives about their loved ones death. I mean, that is hard as hell too. But this? Trying to convince a person to allow us to STOP their loved ones' breathing so that someone else can live? This is some serious tough work. 

I nodded in understanding. "But we can try one more time, right? I mean, we have to give her a chance."

"I'll let you talk to his family."

I looked at the file once more. How this little angel was enduring all this pain was beyond me. "Her file has one more page, you know." I looked at Bhai again, pleading him to not deliver anything bad. He just gave me shrug in return, with an apologetic look. 

I turned the page and an MRI scan was what awaited me along with the page of description. "No way!" A tumor in spinal cord? On examining it further, i found out that it was putting pressure on her Iliac veins and arteries, making her body unable to use her legs. And Allah knows how painful it must be. 

"Its a benign one. Stopped growing. But apparently is there. It can only be removed by surgery because it has been wrapped by few veins and arteries." I'd already seen that. "There isn't much we can do about it. As i said, her body won't survive the surgery with a weak heart and obviously deteriorating body."

I took a deep breath. Looking at her, who was now deep in sleep, i promised myself;  i will definitely try to give you the life you deserve. Even if i have to fight with the hospital's board, i will. But i won't sit with crossed arms, doing nothing.

•~•

"You did good, Layeba", said Hassaan bhai.  I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge the praise. I just convinced the mother of a boy to stop his non-existent life to give a chance to another one. I swear it wasn't easy. The mother was close to killing me. And i didn't blame her, maybe i would've done the same thing. But at least now i knew, that Meerab will be given a chance at healthy life. 

Wiping the tears in my eyes, i cleared my throat. "Let's go to my office. You've informed Dr. Sadiq, right?"

He nodded. "Let's go then. I've already talked with Dr. Yasir. He has agreed to give the case of Meerab to me."

He held the door to my office open where Dr. Sadiq already waited. He stood up on our arrival but i gestured him to sit back down. All the main doctors for Meerab's case were here. Hassaan bhai would perform Heart Transplant Surgery, Dr. Sadiq: Stem Cell Transplant and the Spine tumor was mine. 

"So we've agreed. First, we'll transplant her heart. Four months after that, her bone marrow. After that, considering her condition, we'll decide when to remove that tumor."

They both nodded. A smile adorned my lips. 

Ya Allah! Please help us in this cause. And bless that poor soul with health.

•~•

"How are feeling, love?", i asked Meerab smiling encouragingly at her. It has been a month since two of her surgeries and i can only guess how painful this period would be for her.

"I'm good. I'm happy i don't have to go in chemotherapy now. It was awful and made me feel like vomiting everytime. But there is lot of pain in my back and legs."

She looked good too. Yes, she was still weak but the effects of cancer were now wearing off. Alhamdulillah.

"That would be because a bad boy is still in your spine. But don't worry, i'll take that tumor from your body very soon, okay?"

She nodded and wrapped her arms around my torso. "You just have to get better, okay? Then i can do it really quick. What are you going to do? You will take your medicines without complaint. You well rest properly and eat properly. Okay?"

I rubbed her back. This little girl held my life now. She does have my bone marrow in her bones. I don't think there isn't anything that i won't do for her. I made her lay back and began physical exam on her.

Suddenly, the machines went wild. The beeping grew rapid making me panic for a second. Then, her heart stopped beating. The heart which i not so long ago assisted in giving her. I immediately pressed the emergency bell and started doing CPR.

1...2...3...4...5

1...2...3...4...5

1...2...3...4...5

The door burst open but i didn't see who came in. Please! You can't give up now. Come on!

1...2...3...4...5

"Prepare the defibrillator. 340V", someone said.

"340V ready."

"Layeba, back off."

"No. No. I have to help her. Comeon, love! Wake up!"

1...2...3...4...5

"Okay. We're here to help her too. Step back."

I stopped, backing away a few steps. Don't give up. Don't give up. Please please please.

I watched them try a few times, with my heart in my throat but Hassaan bhai stopped suddenly with a dejected look on his face.

"NO! YOU CAN'T STOP! CONTINUE!", someone shouted. I guess it was me. But i wasn't so certain.

"There's no use. Layeba, its over."

"No. Back off!"

I pushed him away and began CPR with full force. I heard a rib crack but i didn't care. I could hear many people shouting at me to stop but i wasn't seeing anything.

"Its been seventeen minutes now, Layeba! Stop."

Please wake up!

As if Izrael (angel of death) took pity on me, her pulse returned. I heart started beating right beneath my hand. That slow rhythm brought me back to senses.

"You've saved her life, Professor."

I looked at the other faces all of which except one looked back at me with awe, as if i had given life to a dead. But Hassaan bhai looked at me with disappointment. I could relate to it. I was disappointed in myself too. I looked at my shaking hands, feeling like a murderer.

Ya Allah! What did i do?

•~•

"Why didn't you stop?"

This was a question that has given me a scolding from Professor. Quite harsh one too. And now Hassaan bhai was asking me this too.

"I-i don't know. I couldn't let her die."

"And now you're so happy now, aren't you?" I closed my eyes feeling like crying. How could i be so stupid? "Knowing that girl is going to spend her on ventilator? You must be bursting with happiness right now, right?"

Gosh! I couldn't even talk back. I knew what i was doing was wrong. I knew that brain without oxygen for nineteen minutes was a huge risk. Even if her heart started beating, there was a ninety nine percent chance that her brain won't funtion well. And in that condition, the person is only breathing not alive and that too, with the help of ventilator. How could i allow her to live like that? Dying was better than this fate.

A nurse, Saba, entered the room breathing heavily. We both looked at her in question. She took a few seconds to compose her breathing and then said something which i believed was not possible.

"Meerab has regained her consciousness."

We both looked at each other, unable to believe it. But then broke into a sprint towards her room wanting to see with our own eyes.

Hassaan bhai began her checkup while i stood there still amazed. I knew the recently mended rib was causing her a lot of pain but she looked at me with a beautiful smile.

I couldn't control my tears then. I went out of the room, shutting the door behind me. Allahu Akbar!

Shukar Alhamdulillah.

Because of her, my faith in the fact that "Dua has the power to change the fate", strengthened. She really is a miracle. My miracle.

•~•

~PRESENT DAY~

She ran down the stairs, not caring if her dress was wrinkled or if she looked like a someone who came straight out of a battlefield.

"Where is Khan?", she asked the first person she encountered which just happened to Ozhan whom she hated just as much as Yazaan if not more.

"Right here. Infact, any person you meet here is Khan. You gotta be more specific, bhabhi." That lazy way of his of addressing matters irked her to no ends.

"Look! I don't have patience right now. So you better get the hell out of my way and tell me where that so-called husband of mine is", she replied with gritted teeth.

Maybe he knew her condition was serious or he didn't want to waste time with her, he offered to show her the way. She followed him, not exactly grateful. Just as he stopped in front of a door and announced it as Yazaan's study, she barged into it without waiting.

Bad move! Too late!

Three men were sitting there along with Yazaan. They all looked at her with surprise but the worst was Yazaan. Not because he didn't like her coming to him. But because he didn't like the way the men were looking at him. Layeba didn't pay much attention to them but Yazaan did. They were looking at her with lust in their eyes like hyena's waiting to pound on a piece of flesh.

Layeba's concern wasn't this. Her attention was on what was between their fingers, the smell of which was heavy in the air.

Nicotine.

They were smoking and in her ruffled state of mind, she hadn't thought of this scenario. Yazaan stood up and gripped her shoulders, bellowing;

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

But she wasn't paying much attention to it. She had held her breath but she knew it wasn't of any use. She struggled to get away from him to the safety of her room where her medications were but he was too strong.

He throat started closing up and she couldn't help the gagging noises from her mouth. Yazaan stood there confused as hell. What is happening to her?

Her body started shaking in his arms. He didn't have a single clue about what was happening but he knew one thing, "CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE!"

Her breathing was fully constricted now. Her legs had given away, falling on the ground. Yazaan had lessened the impact but he too was now sitting on the floor holding her trembling body.

By now, everyone in the house was there surrounding them, worried out of their minds about what had happened to her. Until Abeerah came.

One look at her and Abeerah knew. She had seen doctors handling similar cases in med school. Although it wasn't her line of field, she knew enough to say,

"Ozhan lala! Ask the ambulance to bring Epipen! She's having Anaphylaxis reaction."

•~•

Assalam o alaikum peeps!
How are you all?
Did you guys like the chapter? I know i suck at writing first person perspective but i didn't know how to write that part in third person perspective either, so please bear with me.

Anyway! What do guys think of it?There is one term i used which i didn't quite explain, that is
"HLA MATCH". It basically means that your blood marrow matches to that of the patient and you can be his/her donor. And if any of you didn't know, it is possible for people to not be relatives and still be a match. Just like any other organ.

Other terms which i used, i tried to explain them but if you still have questions, feel free to ask.

Anaphylaxis reaction. You probably would've been able to guess but if not, don't worry. I'll explain in the next chapter.

Finallly Yazaan will get to know that Layeba is allergic to what he is addicted to! 🎊🎊🎊 Lets hope he doesn't decide to kill her and stop that nasty habit. I personally hate it.

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Have a great day ahead.
Lots of love❤❤❤