I'm back!

Sorry for being gone so long, I was actually on holiday in Greece. It was so beautiful, the beaches are so mesmerizing...

Hope you enjoy this chapter ☺️

Love always,

~ShoamEmily

~

27th of May, 2008
Michael is 49, Angela is 44

Michael: It's been an entire day since Leo was born.

Angela hasn't woken up yet. They told me she's been sedated so she would sleep because her body was very weak.

"Her blood pressure is still very low, and her heartbeat is getting weaker. But I promise we're doing everything we can. She's been given blood, a lot of it. I'm hoping she'll get better soon." Dr. Holden said.

"Why is this happening?" I rubbed my face.

"She lost an excessive amount of blood. Her blood pressure was low to begin with, when we took her into surgery. We didn't have any other option, we had to operate to make sure your baby boy makes it."

I sighed. Angela needs to get better. She has to, for Leo. For myself, too.

"You have to save her. I'm- I'm not myself without her. I need her." I confessed.

"I will try my best, Mr. Jackson." he patted my shoulder.

When he left, I fell back into the chair.

Leo then started crying, making me take him into my arms.

"Hey, Leo... Shhh, it's okay. Daddy's here..."

He calmed down a bit but still whined.

"Oh, I know you want your mommy..." I whispered. "She's going to come back soon enough, I promise..."

A knock on the door was heard and a nurse said my baby boy has to eat.

"I'll bring him back as soon as he's finished." she reassured.

I kissed my son's forehead lightly before she took him.

~

Angela: My eyes fluttered open but I soon closed them again.

I felt so weak. Even breathing was hard.

"Mrs. Jackson?" I vaguely heard Dr. Holden.

I let out a small moan, knowing I won't be able to speak.

With a little bit of effort, I tried opening my eyes again. A bright light blinded me.

"Mrs. Jackson, follow the flashlight, please," Dr. Holden said. I did my best and be removed the light from my eyes. "Don't try to speak, you're too weak for that. Do you remember what happened?"

I nodded lightly.

"Good. You lost a lot of blood, and your BP is too low. Your heartbeat is also a bit weaker than it should be, so don't try to do anything, okay?"

"M- m- my b-baby?" I stuttered.

The doctor smiled, "He's a beautifully healthy baby boy. He's with your husband right now."

Thank God.

"W- what-"

"-Happened?" he asked, making me nod. "The surgery was too much on your body. You came in with low blood pressure, and you bled out right after your baby was born. But you seem stable for the moment. And you should keep resting, I'm going to give you more medicine go help you sleep. I'll also let your husband know you woke up. He can see you in a few hours."

Dr. Holden injected something into my IV. It only took me a couple minutes before I passed out again.

~

It felt like I slept for a few seconds when I woke up again.

Someone was snoring lightly next to me. I opened my eyes to find Michael beside my bed, sleeping. He was holding me hand.

"M- M- Mike." I tried calling him.

I huffed when he didn't wake up. Why would he?

With big effort, I squeezed his hand as hard as I could.

Thankfully, that woke him up. My husband looked around, confused. Then he saw me and gasped.

"Oh, you're awake..." he whispered. "I was so, so worried. How are you feeling?"

I only let out a moan. Michael looked at me sympathetically, "I'm gonna get your doctor."

He kissed my hand before leaving. All I wanted to do was see my baby already.

When the doctor arrived, he said I seemed fin for now. But I should experience more weakness in the next few days.

"Of course, you'll have to stay here. So we can make sure you're healing correctly. Oh, and you can't breastfeed, or pump, either. I'm sorry, but it'll take some well-needed energy from you."

"She will get better soon, right?" Michael, who was nervously chewing his fingernails, asked.

"As long as she rests, she should be getting better in a matter of days. I hope." Dr. Holden smiled.

He asked to do a couple of tests then left Michael and I alone.

"L- Leo?" I told my husband.

"A nurse is gonna bring him soon, he's sleeping," he took my hand in his again. "He's so big... And so beautiful. Thank you for him."

Michael kissed my cheek and left his lips there for a moment.

"Oh, I didn't get to tell you, but I think I remembered another thing... You were giving birth, maybe to Rose and Jared? No offense, you were really big..."

I tried to laugh but it hurt.

He looked so happy, all I wanted was to hug him and kiss him, to feel him close.

I squeezed his hand again, trying to let him know how much I need him to stay.

Just then a nurse came in, wheeling in a bassinet. I could see my baby all wrapped up.

"Thank you." Michael told her. He cuddled Leo close.

Tears of joy were flowing down my cheeks, I was just so happy.

"H- he, he l-l- looks s- so m- much like y- you." my voice was hoarse as I spoke.

My husband's eyes lit up, "You really think so?"

I nodded, feeling my eyes grow heavy.

"Angela?" Michael asked.

"I- I'm just t- taking a n-nap." I answered.

I felt his warm lips on my temple before my eyes closed completely and I was asleep.

~

29th of May, 2008
Michael is 49, Angela is 44

Michael: Two more days passed and Angela was still going in and out of consciousness.

Leo was free to go home but I couldn't leave. We both had to be there when Angela wakes up.

"Nothing seemed to change," Dr. Holden said as he checked my wife. "She's still weak, but definitely getting better. I believe it'll be a few more days before she actually wakes up."

I sighed, "There's nothing you can do?"

"Not really. I'd rather let her sleep, too, so she won't be as weak when she comes back."

Thanking him, I looked back at my sleeping wife. She has to wake up already.

~

Angela: I was somewhere familiar. It seemed like ages since I've been there.

Walking around Jake's and I's old house, I noticed everything was there the way I left it before I moved in with Michael.

"Hey," Jake called from the living room. "Angie, you're home?"

"Jake?" I asked. It looked like he was holding something, someone, actually.

When I came around the couch, I saw it was Lily as a baby that he held.

"Eric's already asleep." he whispered, rocking our baby girl back and forth.

I scrunched my eyebrows, "Why am I here?"

"Uh, this is your house..."

"No, but Michael... He's waiting for me at the hospital."

"Babe, what are you talking about?" he looked at me, confused. "And who is Michael?"

My head started to ache. What the hell is going on?

"M- Michael, he's my husband... He was your best friend." I told him.

"Angie, are you feeling okay? I don't know who this Michael guy is, but I'm pretty sure he's not your husband, or my best friend. You should go to sleep, it looks like you've been through a lot."

I shook my head, "I'm not supposed to be here, I need to go be there with Michael. With our baby boy, too. His name is Leo. He was just born... And I'm not there for him."

"Hey, it's okay... You're just tired, baby. Come on, I'll take you to bed." Jake cooed. He cradled Lily in his arm while having his other hand on the small of my back, and guided me upstairs.

He sat me down on our bed, saying he'll be right back. When he returned, Lily was no longer with him.

Jake helped me take off my shoes and change into some pajamas.

"There," he kissed the top of my head. "I'll make you some tea. Just relax, baby. You're home."

I wanted to scream at him, to tell him this wasn't my home anymore. But when I tried to speak, only a hushed squeal left my lips.

Then I tried getting out of bed but that didn't work either. My legs and arms wouldn't budge.

My eyes shot open as I gasped. I was back in the hospital room.

"Angela, are you okay?" Michael's familiar voice asked.

Quickly, I pulled him to me, never minding the headache it caused me. My lips crashed onto his and I was glad when he didn't pull away.

"You're here..." I sighed into his mouth.

His thumbs caressed my cheeks, "Yeah, I am... Should I call your doctor, or...?

"No, no... I just want to hold you for a second. I had the worst nightmare, Mike. I was sure I lost you for good."

"How are you feeling?"

I sighed. "I think I'm okay. I feel better."

He smiled, taking my hand in his.

"Where's Leo? I have to see him..." I looked around again.

"Maybe Dr. Holden could check you first? So we know everything's alright." Michael suggested.

Once my doctor was here, he instructed me to rest for the next couple days and do absolutely nothing.

"I'll just be monitoring your blood pressure for a few days and if everything checks out, you're free to go home with your baby boy." Dr. Holden said.

"Okay," I closed my eyes, sighing. I just really wanted to get out of here. "I can still hold him, right?"

He smiled, "Of course."

When the doctor was gone, Michael took my hand in his again.

"Are you sure you're okay, Angela? You woke up and seemed pretty upset."

"I had the worst dream. Jake, he was alive. Lily and Eric were a few months old but we were in our old house, and Jake didn't know who you were. It seemed so real, like I was trapped there and couldn't come back to reality-"

Michael shushed me, "Don't worry, it was just a dream."

"Do you think you could bring Leo? I need to know he's alright." I said.

"Sure." he kissed my hand.

I thanked him and he hurried to tell a nurse to bring our baby boy.

The minute he was brought to the room, Michael carefully placed him in my arms.

Tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't stop crying. My baby's presence was so overwhelming for me.

"No wonder he was so heavy." I laughed as I stroked his defined cheeks.

"Yeah," Michael joined in, gently running his fingers over Leo's soft hair. "He's big, isn't he?"

It was quiet for a while as I held our son. I just needed to feel him close.

"I've been thinking," my husband broke the silence. "I should take you out on a first date. Like, on our first real date that we had. To help some memories come back. But once you're better, of course. Just remind me where I took you... Was it somewhere in LA?"

I bit my lip, "Uh, it was actually in Hawaii... You rented us a beach house and we were there for about a week."

"I have to step up my game then, huh?"

That made me giggle. He's really trying his best.

"Thank you." I took his hand in mine again.

He kissed it lightly, "Don't mention it."

~

2nd of June, 2008
Michael is 49, Angela is 44

Michael: Angela was finally back home, but still restricted to bed since her blood pressure didn't seem to stabilize almost at all.

I knew it was hard for her to not be so involved in taking care of Leo, or any of the other children.

"Please, Mike, let me give him a bottle. I'll be in bed the entire time and I'll let you burp him, I promise." she begged.

"Dr. Holden was very specific about what you can and can't do, Angela. I'm sorry." I sighed.

"It's not fair."

"I know."

Angela lay back down against her pillows and I could see the tears forming in her eyes.

"Hey, don't cry," I sat next to her. "You know that if you get better you'll be able to do anything you want. This is just temporary."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm just so frustrated. I'm his mother, I need to take care of him, you know? And I'm barely allowed to hold him."

"Don't think about it too much, Angela. Just let your body rest and you'll be fine in no time."

I leaned down to kiss her cheek, making her blush.

"Now I'm gonna get you something to eat and you should take the pills the doctor gave you right after, okay? I'll bring Leo so you can kiss him goodnight." I said.

"Thanks, Mike," she smiled. "I love you."

I smiled back. What if I'll never be able to love her again?

During the past few weeks Angela has endlessly expressed how much she loves me and it hurt me to know that I'm letting her down.

There was no doubt that we got closer lately, but it still felt wrong. That moment we had the day Leo was born was exactly that, a moment, and I got caught in the heat of it.

And I won't let myself cave in again, especially since Angela is in a very emotional state.

"I, uh, I'll be right back." I told her.

As I exited the room, I could hear Leo who started crying from the nursery.

I sighed. Just what I needed.

All he wanted was to be cuddled back to sleep so I sat down on the rocking chair with him in my arms.

Shushing him and rocking him back and forth, I also wiped his tears.

Although he was here, everything felt unreal all of a sudden, like this isn't where I belonged.

I was very confused and unsure of everything but the recent events made me wake up, and still, my brain was jumbled.

But I had to stay focused for my family, so I swore I was going to do my best.