I held my breath as I stared at the text message. Perhaps I wouldn't find as much threat in the written words if the sender wasn't Tyler. I wasn't sure what happened nor why no one else seemed to know if he had done something to me, but I couldn't shake the eerie feeling each time he was near. 

My heart began to pound against my chest and the calmness that enveloped me only minutes earlier was long gone. 

I debated whether to mention it to Zach — I hadn't even told him about the kiss — and I didn't want to make a bigger deal out of something before I was completely sure what was going on. 

It was nearly 1 in the morning by then and I doubted anyone in their right mind would try to hunt me down. 

I repeated that in my head a few more times and tucked my phone away again before Zach returned into the living room. He was holding two tumblers, filled about a third with a golden liquid. 

"Whiskey?" he asked with a smile on his face as he took a seat next to me and I gratefully nodded my head. 

It's been a while since I last drank and I missed the burning sensation down my throat. So, I extended my hand and took the glass from him. 

"Thanks," I said and brought the rim to my lips to take a sip. 

The first sip was always the worst one. After that one, I emptied the glass in a matter of seconds. I scrunched up my face and shook my head slightly, causing Zach to chuckle. 

Playfully, he narrowed his eyes at me. "Pussy," he whispered. 

"Bite your tongue!" I laughed and rolled my eyes. 

Still chuckling, Zach finished his drink soon after me and looked away — but I still saw the face he made and attempted to conceal. 

I jumped up to my feet and pointed my forefinger at him. 

"Ha! Who's a pussy now?" 

A grin spread across my face, his mismatched eyes darting in my direction. He slowly rose his eyebrows. 

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked as if he didn't hear me. 

"I said..." I paused, dramatically before declaring: "Pussy." 

Zach slowly got up from the couch and inched towards me. "Take that back," he demanded, playfulness coating his voice. 

I folded my arms over my chest, smirking and defiantly shaking my head. 

"Or what?" I challenged him.

His movements were slow, calculated. As if a hunter tracking his prey. 

I swallowed down the chortle that threatened to escape my lips as I took a step back. His body moved when mine did, following me. 

His irises lit up and before I knew it, his arms were around me, capturing me in their grip and throwing me over his shoulder. I laughed out loud as I dangled down his back, my feet kicking the air. 

"Zachary!" I exclaimed through tears from the laughter. 

I reached my hand out and smacked his behind while he marched towards his bedroom. 

"Shh, keep it down, it's late," he scolded me. 

"I don't give a fuck! Put me down!" I squealed in return but was unable to sound as serious as I wanted to — all for the sake of the game. 

A few steps further and he tossed me onto the mattress of his bed. I looked up at him, quiet giggles still causing me to tremble. 

The light from the living room breaking through the open door was enough to light up the side of his body. I saw the grin on his face as he stared down at me. 

Pearly whites sank into the tender flesh of my bottom lip, my head tilted to the side. God, he was beautiful. Handsome didn't seem like a fitting word, it simply didn't do. In the dim light, he looked like an Adonis. 

I, shamelessly, let my gaze travel down his torso, following the outlines of his sculpted body. 

Then the fire in his eyes changed. The laughter died down. Without even knowing how or when — I reached for him, needing him closer. 

Our lips crashed together as his frame hovered above mine. I breathed him in as my fingers brushed over the smooth skin on his back. My thighs moved up to his sides, wrapping around his waist in fear he'd move away too quickly if I didn't tangle myself around him. 

His lips moved passionately against mine, his digits burying into my golden locks and moving to the back of my head. 

The pads of my fingers traveled between his shoulder-blades and over the sides of his neck as I moved my hips upwards, trying to silently let him know what I wanted — that I wanted him. 

I still tasted whiskey on the tip of his tongue and I could get drunk off of that alone. He was intoxicating without the influence of alcohol. He caused the blood to rush through my veins and my mind to give up the attempts to form a coherent thought. I didn't need to think around him. Perhaps that was what invited some of my memories, albeit blurry, to return. 

The ability to let go often goes underrated but a man like him does not. 

"I'm taking my T-shirt back," he whispered against my lips and I felt him grin. 

A barely audible chortle bubbled up my throat but I didn't protest. I let his hands move up my sides, pushing the cotton from my body and discarding it on the floor by the bed. 

He broke the kiss and set his gaze upon me. The pad of his thumb brushed over my full bottom lip, causing them to part and a breath to roll out. He took his time before he finally dared to look down my body — the light touch of his fingers paving the path and his eyes following. He took me in. Slowly. Every inch of me. 

His head lowered and the warm breath that hit the side of my neck caused goosebumps to rise up from my skin. He planted gentle kisses over my shoulder and clavicle, my head tilting back to give him better access. 

Fuck, he caused my heart to race. Heat spread through my whole body. 

I ran my fingers through his hair as he moved lower, painting a pattern of kisses over my stomach. 

I was the girl who always saw the world but I was never sure whether the world saw me. But it did. He did. He saw me. 

My breathing quickened as I squirmed slightly underneath him. 

"Come here," I whined and he didn't have to be told twice. 

His lips found mine and I seized the small moment of weakness to kick against the mattress and flip us over. The surface of my mouth brushed over his own as I peered at him with hooded eyes. 

My hands pressed flat against his chest and I sat up, straddling his waist. His palms rested over my thighs, only thumbs caressing my flesh then digging into it as I gyrated my hips in a slow circle. A groan of approval broke past his lips. 

He was the kind of sight I could stare at forever. Shamelessly. 

***

I fell asleep with his fingers running up and down my back. I listened to his breathing slow down and completely forgot about Tyler's text message. 

I was sure that I was having a pleasant dream but I forgot what it was the moment I was awakened by a loud banging on the front door. 

Shooting up, I clenched the sheet to my bare chest and looked around in confusion. It was three in the fucking morning. 

Zach groaned in protest, one of his arms still draped over my legs, his face buried in the pillow. 

"What the fuck?" he mumbled and showed no signs of getting up. 

I think we were both hoping someone just missed the door and the banging would stop in just a few more tries. But the noise was relentless. Bang after bang echoed not only through Zach's apartment but through the entire building. 

I rubbed my eye with my knuckles and at the fifth thump, Zach finally lifted his head up. 

"You're not expecting some in the middle of the night booty call, are you?" 

Zach frowned and looked at me as if I was completely out of my mind. 

"Of course not," he replied. "Wait here." 

I nodded my head and watched him slip out of the bed and pull his boxers back up to his waist. As he left the bedroom, I reached to the ground and tugged his T-shirt over my head and some shorts that I found folded on one of the open shelves. 

The moment I heard him unlock the front door and pull it open, the realization of who it was settled in. 

"Where the fuck is she?!" Tyler's slightly drunken voice demanded. 

I thought my heart stopped for a second. I pressed my back against the bedroom door, listening as panic began to settle in. 

"It's in the middle of the night, Ty. You really think I'm gonna let you talk to her while you're drunk?" Zach rather calmly answered but there was an undertone of annoyance. 

"Get the fuck out of my way, Reed," Tyler hissed, his voice traveling down the hall as well as into the apartment. 

Sudden tumbling sounded from the next room and I pulled the bedroom door open, rushing to the middle of the living room. I witnessed Zach stumbling a few steps back, his head turned to the side — the result of Tyler's agitated punch. 

My hands flew to my mouth as a gasp escaped me which caught Tyler's attention. Suddenly, two pairs of eyes were staring at me, though Tyler's upper lip curled. 

"Get out!" I yelled.

My instinctive response was to rush at Zach's side, wide green globes staring at the dark-haired man. I feared my heart was seconds away from jumping out of my chest. 

His features suddenly softened and he extended his hand towards me. 

"You had your fun, baby," he slurred. "It's time to come home now." 

I recoiled from his touch, feeling disgusted. A low growl erupted from the depth of Zach's chest, staring intensely at Tyler. 

"When are you gonna get it? She doesn't want to go with you," Zach said lowly. "You don't want to repeat what happened last time when you showed up like this, do you?" 

His tall frame stepped in front of me, his hand pushing me behind his back to use himself as a human shield. 

Tyler seemed to had gained just enough courage from alcohol and he didn't know when it was time to back off. But at that, he was momentarily lost for words. 

"What the hell happened to you, man? We used to be friends," Zach added after a moment of silence, softness suddenly tainting his vocals. 

I watched the exchange with a small, confused frown on my face. My fingers lightly touching Zach's upper arm as I peered from behind him. 

"She was fucking mine!" Tyler bellowed suddenly, causing an instant scowl to form on Zach's face. 

"You treated her like crap! It was her choice and it's not my fucking fault!" he fired back. 

Tyler clenched his jaw and all signs showed he was seeing red. His mouth pulled into an ominous grin. 

"You broke her," he said slowly, knowing full well it would hit where it hurts the most. 

Zach froze in place, staring at his ex-friend and I could feel his shoulder slag. He lost this round. 

In one quick movement, I stepped between them. 

"Tyler, get the fuck out," I said coldly. 

Tyler looked down at me, letting his eyes linger for a second too long. Then he huffed and finally turned to walk away. I saw something in his eyes and it scarily resembled deep hatred. 

I exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding and closed the door. After I locked it to make sure Tyler didn't have a way to get in, I looked at Zach. 

His gaze was fixated on the floor. 

"Zach..." I said softly. 

"No, he's right," Zach said and frowned. He waved his hand, an attempt to have me let go of the subject. 

"No, he's not," I protested and inched closer to him. My hands rested on each side of his neck. "You didn't break me." 

He brought his fingers to my cheek and caressed it but didn't say anything. 

I bit my lip. "That's not the only reason for... all of this..." I motioned between him and me. "...right?" 

His large palm cupped the side of my face, mismatched hues boring down at me. 

"Of course not. But that doesn't make it any less true," he replied. 

I closed my eyes and leaned against his touch. I knew my condition or whatever you want to call it, affected people in a negative way but I didn't dare to think I had caused that much damage. 

The heavy feeling of guilt crept back into the pit of my stomach. 

Before he could notice, I closed the remainder of the space between us and wrapped my arms around his middle, head resting against his chest. His strong arms snaked around me, holding me tight against him. 

I felt like his anchor but how could he hold onto me when I had been sinking myself?

I let out a shaky breath as we stood by the front door like that for I don't know how long. 

***

I woke up alone in bed. My hand automatically stretched out where Zach was meant to be, only to find the other side of the bed empty. 

Confused, I lifted my head and looked around. 

"Zach?" I called out. 

"Kitchen!" he yelled back. 

I yawned and stretched as I threw my legs over the edge of the bed. My fingers combed through my hair a couple of times to mostly untangle the mess on the top of my head. 

I dragged my feet across the floor and made my way towards the kitchen. I found Zach sitting by the open window, a cup of coffee in his hand and a cigarette in the other. 

"Morning," I said with a small smile which he surprisingly returned. 

"Morning," he replied and brought the cigarette back up to his lips. 

I advanced toward the coffee machine and poured myself a cup before moving by Zach's side. 

He instantly offered me his pack of cigarettes. 

"Thanks," I said and plucked one out, placing it between my lips. 

I lit it up and took a drag before taking a sip of the coffee. 

For a while, we stood there in complete silence. I couldn't remember when it was the last time it felt this uncomfortable. He seemed to be deep in his thoughts and I wasn't sure how to get a sneak peek. 

"What are you thinking about?" I asked in a whisper. 

Zach glanced at me and forced out a smile. "Nothing, don't worry about it." 

I paused and ultimately decided to take another route. 

"So, what happened with Tyler?" I asked, tilting my head. 

Not seeming very pleased with my question and inability to let things go, Zach put out his third cigarette and placed the empty cup of coffee on top of the kitchen table. 

"I fucking wish I knew," he replied and let out a heavy sigh. "You know we grew up together, right?" 

I nodded. "Yeah. Tyler told me." 

He pursed his lips and nodded as well. "I think he always liked you. Or he thought he did. He was always very competitive, I guess." 

My movements slowed for a moment. "I'm a competition?" 

Zach shook his head. "No, but you are someone he could never... keep, for the lack of better word." 

"Because I've always gone with you?" I questioned. 

He didn't answer that question but he didn't have to. I knew the answer. 

"And he did something?" 

Zach took a deep breath and nodded slightly. "Yeah, the thing is no one knows what exactly. By the time someone would get it out of you, you already forgot," he explained. 

Maya said the same thing. I was hoping I'd get some more information out of Zach, just in case if Maya was lying but it seemed to be the truth. If Tyler had done anything and they'd knew about it, I was sure they wouldn't let him anywhere near me. 

I knew he said something else but all of a sudden all I could hear was ringing in my ears. I frowned, staring at him and then — a pound against my skull. 

I gasped and closed my eyes tightly, my hands covering the sides of my head. 

"Vivi? What's wrong?" Zach asked, instantly alert, although his voice sounded so distant. 

I looked up at him as fear consumed me and flashed in my eyes. A second later, another pound. And another. Until I felt myself hit the ground.