"Malapit na birthday ni Kuya Yhael. May regalo ka nang naiisip, Aphle?" tanong sa akin ni Sovie isang araw habang nag-rereview ako.

Napatigil ako sa ginagawa at napatingin sa kaniya. "Kailan?" tanong ko.

"Sa susunod na linggo," sagot niya. "Malas lang talaga at may pasok 'yung birthday niya."

"Does that mean we're going to their house?" I asked. It's like that when an acquaintance has a birthday.

Tumango-tango siya. "Nag-iisip na nga ako ng pwedeng regalo sa kaniya e. 'Yung alam kong magugustuhan niya pero hindi materyal na bagay."

"Why? Does he not like expensive gifts?" I asked nervously. I want to give him a watch.

"Oo," sagot niya. "Alam niya kasing mahihirap lang kaming mga kaibigan niya kaya ayos lang sa kaniya kahit wala. Kung meron man, dapat hindi 'yung mahal. Kaya kung may naiisip kang regalo. Please, 'yung afford naman niyang bilhin. 'Wag mong sampalin ng kahirapan si Kuya."

I just nodded. Too bad, I still wanted to give Yhael a watch. But he might not accept it.

"Mamaya nga pala, punta tayo sa bahay nina Daniel. Mag-iinuman ata sila kasi walang pasok bukas," sinabi pa ni Sovie.

"Ayoko sa amoy ng alak," mahina kong sinabi.

Medyo gulat siyang tumitig sa akin. "Seryoso ba?" Tumango ako. "Eh, paano 'yon. Hindi ka pupunta?"

Dahan-dahan akong umiling. "Baka naman kaya ko na ngayon ang amoy ng alak. Makakapunta ako, magpapaalam lang sa driver," sagot ko.

That same afternoon, I told my driver not to pick me up because I had to go somewhere else. He immediately agreed. Sovie and I were now walking together to Daniel's house. Me and Yhael didn't go home together every Friday because they were usually earlier. We were only together every Monday and Wednesday.

Sovie stopped in front of an old house, so I stopped too. Sovie knocked on the iron gate. It opened, and we saw Juniel. I waved at him, and he smiled. He invited us inside.

Upon entering, we saw four men in the living room lighting something. My forehead furrowed as I sat next to Kuya Zhack. Sovie sat next to Daniel. There wasn't any space left.

Janser was fixing their drinks, which I had just noticed. Why were they lit?

I was busy watching what Janser was doing when I felt Kuya Zhack move. He took a jacket from the side armrest of the couch and placed it on my thigh. "Thank you, Kuya," I whispered. He just nodded at me before looking away.

I glanced in Yhael's direction. He looked annoyed. There wasn't enough space on his side for me to sit next to him.

I was surprised when the fire suddenly grew in the mouth of the gin bottle. I clutched my heart as Janser and Daniel laughed at the same time.

"Ayan na, i-mimix nga!" Excited na sinabi ni Daniel.

"Unang mix, hindi mo ba ako miss?" Unang banat ni Yhael. Tumingin siya sa akin kaya kaagad akong nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Unang mix, palagi kang namimiss," sinabi ni Janser. "Miss ko na talaga siya, guys. Paano ba 'to?"

"Unang mix, bakit bawal kitang ma-miss?" Banat ulit ni Kuya Zhack.

"Unang mix, labas niyo lahat ng what ifs," sinabi ko.

"'Wag na. Magsasalin na lang ako," sinabi ni Daniel. He poured alcohol in the five glasses.

"Unang inom, paano ba 'to maghihilom," naiiling na sinabi ni Kuya Zhack. Nakakagulat na nauna siya.

"Unang shot, bat siya ang pinili mo at hindi ako?" Tanong ni Janser.

When Yhael was the first to drink what was in his shot glass, the other four followed. Sovie and I just watched the five boys. When Yhael lowered his shot glass, his gaze immediately landed on me. He looked at me while wiping his lips.

The same thing happened with the subsequent shots. I pulled a tissue from my bag so he wouldn't have to wipe his lips with his hand. I was always surprised when he brought his hand to his lips.

"Kuya Yhael, dahan-dahan lang sa pag-inom. Baka mamaya bigla kang mag-relapse," saway ni Sovie kay Yhael.

The man didn't seem to hear anything and just continued drinking. Sovie and I exchanged a look, and she shook her head at me. "Hirap awatin," she mouthed.

"Daniel," sinipa ni Sovie si Daniel para pansinin siya nito. Lumingon sa kaniya si Daniel na pumupungay na ngayon ang mga mata dahil nakakarami na rin nang nainom.

"Ano?" tanong nito kay Sovie.

"Nasaan parents mo?" tanong ni Sovie.

"Nasa magaling nilang anak," simpleng sagot ni Daniel. "Hindi 'yon uuwi ng ilang araw kaya kahit dito na kayo matulog, okay lang."

"Hindi okay sa parents niya," sinabi kaagad ni Yhael bago ako ituro.

"Sa parents o sa 'yo?" Nang-aasar na tanong ni Janser.

"He's right," I chimed in, hoping to stop Janser and Daniel from teasing him further. "When Mommy and Daddy find out I didn't come home tonight, I'm sure I'll get a lecture tomorrow."

They all nodded before continuing. Every time Yhael drank, I got nervous. He might suddenly pass out. He was the only one I trusted to take me home.

I looked at the clock. They had been drinking for an hour. Janser and Juniel surrendered, heading to Daniel's parents' bedroom to sleep.

Since there was a space next to Yhael, I moved over. "Yhael, that's enough," I whispered to him as he took another gulp of gin. I sighed when he ignored me. "Yhael."

"What?" Iritado niyang tanong.

I bit my lip, taken aback by the intensity of his tone. He seemed angry with me. "A-Are you mad at me?" I stuttered.

He slowly looked at me. His expression softened when he saw my eyes. Umiling siya habang natatawa. "Hindi ako galit. Bakit naman ako magagalit sa 'yo, 'di ba? Wala ka namang kinikitang ibang lalaki," dire-diretso niyang sinabi.

I frowned. "I don't talk to any other men. I don't talk to any men in our section. Even if you ask Sovie," I said, pointing to Sovie who was having a serious conversation with Daniel.

Kuya Zhack was the only one drinking alone because Yhael and Daniel were busy with me and Sovie.

"Ano si Sir Zade?" tanong bigla ni Yhael kaya napalingon ako sa kaniya.

Wait. Nakikita niya bang kausap ko minsan si Sir Zade?

"Hindi ka ba niya susunduin dito katulad nung binalak niya nung Monday?" tanong niya.

"N-Narinig mo 'yon?" nauutal kong tanong.

Ginulo niya ng kaniyang buhok na medyo may pawis na dahil sa epekto ng alak. "Alangan. Sasabihin ko ba lahat 'to kung hindi," naiiling niyang sinabi.

"Pero, Yhael, hindi naman ako pumayag kasi hindi ako komportable," sinabi ko.

"Bakit alam niya number ng driver na naghahatid-sundo sa 'yo?" tanong niya.

Sasagot na sana ako nang bigla siyang umiling at parang baliw na tumawa. "'Wag mo na lang sagutin. Nagkakaganito talaga ako kapag nakakainom. Alam mo na," kibit balikat niyang sinabi.

I didn't immediately answer his question. I didn't even know what excuse to make. I didn't want to lie to Yhael because he was so important to me.

"Itigil mo na 'yang pag-inom," pag-iiba ko ng usapan. "Ihahatid mo pa ako pauwi, 'di ba?"

Tumaas ang isang kilay niya sa akin. "Bakit? Hindi ka ba susunduin ni Sir Zade?" tanong niya.

"Yhael," nagbabanta kong tawag sa kaniya. Tumingin lang siya sa akin na may inosenteng tingin. "Hindi mo ako ihahatid?"

"Sino ba nagsabing hindi?" tanong niya. "Malamang ihahatid kita. Gusto mo bang mamatay ako kapag may nangyaring masama sa 'yo sa daan dahil pinairal ko pagseselos ko?" Dire-diretso niyang sinabi.

Lasing na nga ata.

"Tingin ko, lasing ka na. Kung ano-ano nang sinasabi mo," sambit ko.

"Alam mo bang mas honest ang tao kapag lasing?" tanong niya. Titig na titig sa aking mga mata. Umiling naman ako dahil wala akong alam. "Kaya lahat ng sasabihin ko, paniwalaan mo."

"Eh, paano kung naglalasing-lasingan ka lang naman," sinabi ko.

Umawang ang kaniyang mga labi. Ginulo na naman niya ang kaniyang buhok.

"Tama na kasi 'yan," sinabi ko nang akto na naman niyang kukunin ang shot glass na may lamang alak. "Alam mo bang masama sa atay 'yang alak?"

"Oo, alam ko. Ano? Tingin mo ba ikaw lang matalino sa 'ting dalawa?" tanong niya. "Kaya nga kumain ako kanina ng atay para malito 'yung alak kung anong atay ang sisirain niya."

Now I'm the one holding my hair. This is how drunk he is. He acting like a child.

"Kaya mo pa ba akong i-pag-drive?" tanong ko sa kaniya. "Kung hindi na, ayos lang. Tatawagan ko na lang ang driver ko para sunduin ako."

"'Wag ka ngang desisyon, ihahatid kita," pinal niyang sinabi.

"Baka kasi hindi mo na—"

"Kaya ko," putol niya sa akin bago ilayo sa kaniya ang alak at sumandal sa sofa. "Magpapahinga lang ako sandali, ihahatid kita mamaya. Diyan ka lang."

"Sa kwarto ka kaya magpahinga," suhestyon ko. "Doon na lang din ako maghihintay sa kwarto habang nagpapawala ka ng tama."

He opened his eyes and glared at me. "Hindi pwede," seryoso niyang sinabi.

"Dali na. Para hindi ka mangalay sa ganiyang posisyon mo," sinabi ko.

"Please, Aphle, 'wag na," nahihirapan niyang sinabi. "I'm needy right now, so please, stop that."

"Needy? Anong kailangan mo?" inosente kong tanong.

"Putangina talaga," bulong niya. "You're too innocent for that."

"Hindi kita gets," kunot noo kong sinabi.

"Hindi mo pwedeng ma-gets 'yon," aniya. Umiiling pa. "Kapag nalaman mo meaning no'n, makakapatay talaga ako."

"Anong ibig sabihin no'n?" tanong ko.

Sinamaan niya ulit ako ng tingin. "Hindi mo nga pwedeng malaman. Bata ka pa," sagot niya.

"At ikaw?" tanong ko.

"Para sa 'yo," sagot niya bigla.

-iamlunamoon